This review isn’t too NSFW (we’d rate it PG-13 for penile synonyms), but the movie sure is. Kids shouldn’t watch Rock n’ Roll Frankenstein. Other people who shouldn’t watch Rock n’ Roll Frankenstein: people who care about movies or about being entertained.
(This movie was nominated for review by Brian O’Hara, director of Rock n’ Roll Frankenstein. Suggest a weird movie of your own here.)
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DIRECTED BY: Alison Anders, Alexandre Rockwell, Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino
FEATURING: Tim Roth, Sammi Davis, Valeria Golino, Madonna, Ione Skye, Lili Taylor, Alicia Witt, Jennifer Beals, David Proval, Antonio Banderas, Tamlyn Tomita, Lana McKissack, Danny Verduzco, Kathy Griffin, Marisa Tomei, Paul Calderón, Quentin Tarantino, Bruce Willis
PLOT: On a particularly crazy New Year’s Eve at a rundown Hollywood hotel, a harried bellman’s first night on the job is highlighted by the wild goings-on in the various guestrooms, including a coven of witches, a dysfunctional married couple, a pair of disorderly children, and a film director’s sadistic game of chance.
COMMENTS: Every now and then, someone gets the bright idea to assemble an anthology film, bringing together a unique roster of top-flight directing talent. They’re almost never a success, financially or critically, but they keep coming back, and every age gets their turn. In the mid-90s, it was time for the young guns of the new Hollywood to join forces for a project set in a crazy hotel, and Four Rooms is the result.
All four filmmakers were coming off big successes, and while few people would ever look for common ground between, say, Gas Food Lodging and Desperado, it’s not completely impossible that the common setting and diverse storytelling styles could combine to make for an interesting melange. Unfortunately, all four seem to have settled on “unbridled chaos” as a guiding principle for their segments. It’s comedy by way of breathlessness, which is typically more exhausting than amusing. In addition, they’re counting on Tim Roth to be a unifying element, providing his own brand of untethered mania. Alas, they don’t seem to have checked in with each other on how they were using Roth, which means we really get four (and arguably five or six) different versions of Ted the Bellboy, a character developed via exquisite corpse.
The first story, Anders’ “The Missing Ingredient,” is a joke with no punchline. A collection of witches, ranging from glamour queen Madonna to crunchy granola Taylor, have gathered in the Hotel’s honeymoon suite to resurrect o
ne of their sisterhood, lost to a curse years ago. By turning the whirlpool tub into a cauldron and adding such items as blood and sweat, they can restore her, but the only thing missing is naive babe-in-the-woods Skye’s assigned contribution: semen. The solution? Seduce the bellboy. And this is exactly what happens. Roth goes full-on Hugh Grant here, stammering and sputtering his way through Skye’s come-ons. He poses exactly no obstacle to the Continue reading IT CAME FROM THE READER-SUGGESTED QUEUE: FOUR ROOMS (1995)
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Quick links/Discussed in this episode:
Hundreds of Beavers (2023): Introduction to the interview begins. Read El Rob Hubbard’s Apocrypha Candidate review. Mike Cheslik and Ryland Brickson Cole Tews join us for a second time to talk about their surreal slapstick semi-silent Canadian-tinged comedy. Hundreds of Beavers official site.
Divinity (2023): Discussion begins. Read Giles Edwards’ Apocrypha Candidate review. This black and white dystopian would-be cult film divided critics down the middle, with some camps claiming its just pretentious, and others saying its pretentious but wild enough for a recommendation. You can now decide for yourself, on VOD or Blu-ray. Buy Divinity.
Dream Scenario (2023): Discussion begins. Read Gregory J. Smalley’s review. Shlubby professor Nic Cage becomes a celebrity after he starts inexplicably appearing in the background of people’s dreams. Now on Blu-ray or VOD rental or purchase. Buy Dream Scenario.
Kamikaze Girls (2004): Discussion begins. A high school girl obsessed with Lolita fashion befriends a biker chick. In our reader-suggested queue, and now on Blu-ray for the first time (in North America). Buy Kamikaze Girls.
Liarmouth (202?): Discussion begins. 77-year-old John Waters wants to film his 2022 novel “Liarmouth: A Feel-Bad Romance.” Aubrey Plaza wants to help him by starring as sociopathic suitcase-stealer Marsha Sprinkle. We would give this union our blessing. Rumor rag World of Reel “broke” the story, but Waters himself called the news “pure speculation.”
On the Silver Globe (1977/1988): Discussion begins. Read El Rob Hubbard’s Apocrypha Candidate review. Unfortunately, this standalone Blu-ray of Andrzej Zulawski‘s unfinished weird sci-fi epic is only available in Europe at the current time. Interested parties can order On the Silver Globe from amazon.uk.
Poor Things (2023): Discussion begins. Read Gregory J. Smalley’s Apocrypha Candidate review. Yorgos Lanthimos‘ absurdist comedy about a woman with a fetus brain is now on VOD (Blu-ray coming). It will also stream for free (for subscribers) on Hulu from March 7. Buy Poor Things on VOD.
The Third Part of the Night (1971)/The Devil (1972): Discussion begins. Read El Rob Hubbard’s reviews of The Third Part of the Night and The Devil. Andrzej Zulawski‘s first two features on a 2-disc Blu-ray set; like Silver Globe, this release is aimed at Eurofolk. Buy The Third Part of the Night/The Devil from amazon.uk.
The Tune (1992): Discussion begins. Cartoonist Bill Plympton‘s debut feature was about a songwriter entering a surreal alternate world in search of inspiration. This Deaf Crocodile Blu-ray release includes three early Plympton shorts, and a Pympton dub of the silent short “Dreams of a Rarebit Fiend,” among its extra features. Buy The Tune.
Weirdcademy Awards: Discussion begins. It’s your last week to vote in the Weirdcademy Awards (features or shorts): winners announced on Sunday, Mar. 10.
WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE:
There’s no guest currently scheduled for next week’s Pod 366, but Giles and Greg will be back to discuss the week’s weird movie news. Also on our YouTube channel (which you should probably subscribe to), Pete Trbovich reviews Brian O’Hara’s 1999’s spoof Rock and Roll Frankenstein on “Weird View Crew,” a movie that was recommended to us by… Brian O’Hara. Seguing to print reviews, Shane Wilson clears out Four Rooms (1995) from the reader-suggested queue, Giles Edwards creates his impression of Creating Rem Lazar (1989), and the day has finally come for Gregory J. Smalley to cover Day of the Wacko (2002). Onward and weirdward!
Psychedelic artist Larry Carlson is always good for a surreal time; here’s a mescaline-morphed look at some of his strangest pre-2009 canvases.
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This Is Me… Now streams exclusively on Amazon Prime.
DIRECTED BY: Dave Meyers
FEATURING: Jennifer Lopez
PLOT: “The Artist” searches for a soul mate while discussing her past with her therapist as the Zodiacal pantheon oversees her difficulties.
COMMENTS: Having little experience with Jennifer Lopez until watching this film, her, now, is all I have to work with. Fortunately for J-Lo, and director Dave Meyers, I’m a sucker for vanity projects, music videos, and random experiences. This Is Me… Now dances energetically atop a certain floor of competence, jerkily zapping with defiance, then (jerkily) tilting into romantic melancholy. Ladies and germs, what we have here is a semi-operatic music video feature, likely to please any fan of the artiste behind the songs and dances.
For those not particularly interested in Ms. Lopez or her music, there are still a cache of fun little flourishes to keep you amused over the hour-long experience. The biggest rests amongst the stars—whence comes all life, light, and hope, as might be declared by none other than Neil DeGrasse Tyson, onscreen here as the Zodiacal sign of Taurus. No less impressive is Jane Fonda, leading the team of star signs—proving she’s as fun and full as ever. (I’ll leave it you to check out the celebrity checklist for the other astrological persona, but it is a motley and… star-studded bunch.) Ben Affleck, ever his woman’s fellow, dons a ridiculous hairpiece and a brash schmuckery as a nebulously right-wing TV personality. And I am told that Fat Joe is something of a heavy hitter, and his performance as Jennifer’s therapist makes me curious to explore his career further.
Perhaps more than any other film which has crossed my plate, This Is Me… Now plays to its audience; it is a loving gift from the singer-celebrity (evidenced in particular by her own personal outlay of some twenty million dollars to get it off the ground). From the opening steam-punk dystopian heart factory metaphor power ballad (gotta keep feeding petals into the core, lest that heart becomes broken), to the decent-to-impressive late era MTV-style set pieces (quirky-jerky dance routines featuring dozens), right through the closing maneuvers, This Is Me… Now delivers J-Lo on her own terms, and that was good (enough) for me.
WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:
