Poet Blood’s Red, Velvet is Blue —
Your Valentine’s with 366 has come true!
Helen Mirren‘s a hottie, none can resist her,
Bar Malcolm McDowell when pining for sister.
For romantic movies, we’ll start our curricula
With the tear-jerking tale of the emperor Caligula.
The French, as they say, have a “je ne sais quoi”;
(Et je pense que je sais vous êtes assez comme moi:)
You know nothing tops love betwixt Man and a Mouse
Making Sitcom the film to watch with your spouse.
Then there’s the Manhattan girl who just wanted love,
And her pleas weren’t ignored by the powers above.
With each death of lovers in throes of their passion Liquid Sky has romance on peaks of punk fashion.
With both dollops of love and betrayal in parts
Julia uses all of her feminine arts
To try to make David, now unhinged, to behave,
And to dig herself out of her own Shallow Grave.
But for simplicity in love’s questing and fun
This title’s the first, though writ as the last one.
Bringing smiles for show of most wholesome desire,
‘Tis Rubber, the rom-com of which you won’t tire.
Worry not for the titles you may think I’ve missed,
For next comes the Trbovich Valentine’s list.
Now you see, man is an animal futilely trying to be a god.
We aspire to these great heights, to rule the planet as the benevolent apex predator, to split the atom and warp space-time, to create a utopia of crystal spires and togas. There’s just one problem holding us back: we’re still animals.
Deep in our brains, there is an electrochemical machine of neuropeptides, hormones, and neurotransmitters ticking away, and whether we like to admit it or not, these little nut-sized chunks of brainmeat with names like “hippocampus” and “amygdala” are our true gods. If you piss them off and go against your natural programming, no happy-joy squirt of dopamine for you!
Every one of us is here today because all of our ancestors got laid, all 3 million years of them. The sticky thing about natural selection is, it isn’t “survival of the fittest,” it’s just “survival of the most efficient way to get laid.” Once you’ve reproduced, that’s all she wrote, nature is done with you. You’ve passed on your genes now, so you can hang around long enough to raise the offspring and then go die alone on an iceberg for all your genes care.
All the Colors of Giallo (2018): For dedicated giallo fans: this three disc set contains the title documentary on the genre, a second doc (The Case of the Krimi, with film historian Marcus Stiglegger), a trailer collection, and a CD of soundtrack cuts. Via Severin films, it’s a multi-format set (Blu-ray, DVD, and CD). Buy All the Colors of Giallo.
The Cloverfield Paradox (2018): Scientists in a satellite orbiting the Earth accidentally open a portal to another dimension when experimenting with a particle accelerator. While we liked the other two Cloverfield movies (one a monster flick and one a thriller), we skipped this sci-fi themed one on Netflix because nothing about the initial installments led us to suspect there would ever be a weird movie in the bunch; the Internet (not the most reliable source, admittedly) suggests we may be wrong in that assumption. It’s now out on DVD or Blu-ray for those without a Netflix subscription. Also available in a “Cloverfield 3-Movie Collection” DVD or Blu-ray packBuy The Cloverfield Paradox.
The Fifth Cord (1971): Franco Nero stars as an alcoholic reporter tracking a serial killer while simultaneously becoming a suspect. Maybe not 100% weird, but it has the psychedelic visual sensibility and alienated atmosphere of the period. Another neglected giallo exhumed by Arrow Video, now on Blu-ray. Buy The Fifth Cord.
Lu Over the Wall: Little Mermaid variation in which the fish-girl joins a teen rock band. This kids’ movie that carefully describes itself as “joyously hallucinogenic but family-friendly” comes from Masaaki Yuasa—the mind behind the Canonically Weird Mind Game (2004). Blu-ray, DVD, VOD. Buy Lu Over the Wall.
The Possessed (1965): A depressed novelist goes looking for his lost love, a waitress at a remote lakeside resort who has disappeared mysteriously. A “proto-giallo” co-scripted by the curiousGiulio Questi, who would go on to direct a pair of Canonically Weird films. Another Arrow Video Blu-ray release. Buy The Possessed.
Shame (1968): Read Alfred Eaker’s review. Ingmar Bergman‘s surreal tale of war coming to Fårö is largely overlooked. The Criterion Collection hopes to change that with this single-disc release including both new and archival interviews. Buy Shame.
Zachariah (1971): Read Pete Trbovich’s review. This hippie comedy-Western-musical billed itself as the “first electric Western”; Kino Lorber grabbed the rights and upgraded the featureless MGM DVD to a sparkling new Blu-ray with a commentary track and everything. Buy Zachariah.
Next week, look for a review from the reader-suggested queue: Simon Hyslop on 2004’s Lovecraftian J-horror, Marebito. We’ll also have Giles Edwards with late-ish coverage of Hélène Cattet and Bruno Forzani‘s latest, last year’s Let The Corpses Tan, and a reader-supplied statistical analysis of the List. And maybe we’ll even have a mystery pop-up review (though if we promised one for certain and told you what it was, it wouldn’t be a mystery… forget we said anything, OK?)
What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.
Time for another giveaway! This one is for true fans only, though all are welcome to try. All you have to do is convince us that you’re 366 Weird Movies’ Biggest Fan, and therefore deserving of this fine prize. We know a couple of you have gone the extra mile to promote this project; now is your chance to show us what you’ve done. Pimp your own creativity while pumping our egos; everyone benefits. (Or just compliment us really, really well). We’ll pick the most impressive submission provided in the comments below. Even if you’re ineligible to win the prize (for example, because you live outside the U.S.), please let us know about your fandom. And even if you think you’re a Pretty Big Fan, but not the Biggest, let us know. Our pride needs it.
Even though, in a way, you’re all winners, the choice of an actual prize winner is solely at the discretion of 366 Weird Movies’ staff.
Eligibility rules: You must comment on this post. To receive the DVD, you must supply us with a mailing address in the United States. (Don’t publish your address in your comment! We’ll contact the winner through email). 366 contributors are not eligible for the prize. You are eligible for this prize even if you have won a contest here in the last six months. We’ll stop accepting entries Wednesday, February 20, at midnight EST. If the winner does not respond to our request for a mailing address within 48 hours we’ll email a runner-up, and so forth, until the prize is given away.
As for the prize: it’s the Criterion 2-disc DVD edition of the Canonically Weird True Stories, David Byrne‘s celebration of eccentricity and “Specialness” set in the fictional town of Virgil, Texas. Note that this DVD edition does not include the film’s soundtrack, which is an exclusive bonus feature of the Blu-ray. But it does include the second disc of bonus features (four documentaries, plus deleted scenes) and the cool tabloid-style booklet with essays by Rebecca Bengal and Joe Nick Patoski.
Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…
Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.
IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):
Braid: Two women, in desperate need of cash to pay back a drug dealer, decide to rob their insane but wealthy childhood friend: but figuring out the location of her safe will require them to humor her by playing by the delusional rules of the “game” she’s been stuck in since childhood. Review coming next week. Braid official site.
All the Colors of the Dark [Tutti i colori del buio] (1972): A woman plagued by recurring nightmares decides to try a Black Mass as a means of therapy (!) Severin Films exhumes this ghastly giallo for a new age. Out on DVD or Blu-ray with lots of bonus features. Buy All the Colors of the Night.
Top Knot Detective (2017): Mockumentary (?) about a brief Japanese cult TV series starring a samurai detective. Now available streaming on Amazon (free with Prime); DVDs currently available overseas only. Thanks to Joe Badon for catching this. (Note: the video uploaded to Amazon lacks subtitles and may be in the wrong aspect ratio [see comments]. We’re disabling the Amazon purchase link until we hear that the issue has been fixed.) Stream Top Knot Detective on Vimeo from the distributor.
Next week, we’ll bring you previews of a couple of new limited releases, as G. Smalley tries to untangle Braids (see trailer above), and Giles Edwards bows to the experimental black metal documentary Lords of Chaos. We’ll also have a DVD giveaway contest. Prize: True Stories Criterion Collection DVD. Theme: convince us you’re 366 Weird Movies’ biggest fan. And don’t forget to vote in the Weirdcademy Awards (and the Shorts) before Feb. 24th. Weirdest Picture and Actor look sewn up, but the other categories are still competitive.
What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.
So Nic Cage gets a Most Conventional Actor Oscar for stumbling around drunk in Las Vegas and failing to get an erection in the final scene, but when sorts a mysterious hallucinogenic powder he finds lying around in a Satanic biker’s lair and forges his own axe to mow down the hippies who burnt his true love alive, he doesn’t even get a sniff from the Academy? And now Giorgos Lanthimos is forced to give up making movies about dystopian futures where singles are sent to a hotel where they must find a mate or be turned into an animal of their choice, and instead make costume dramas about serving wenches, fat bi queens, and Tories wearing powdered Whigs to get the Academy to give him a Most Conventional Picture nod? So what retreads did the Academy of Arts and Sciences see fit to nominate for the Most Conventional Picture Oscar of 2018? A black and white documentary about Mexicans harvesting those little plum tomatoes they put in salads? The fourth remake of a weepie about untalented drunk sellout musicians that sucked the first three times? This year’s Italian-stereotype-conquers-racism-and-finds-a-black-friend road trip comedy? A couple of movies with “Black” right there in the title, to show they are taking diversity seriously?
Yes, the Oscars are a joke, and everyone knows it. (Just try finding someone willing to host the ceremony.) But you, my friend, you aren’t content with the same-old same-old, new wine in a familiar glass. You want weird in your movies. The Weirdcademy Awards are for you, the moviegoer whose friends roll their eyes and sigh loudly when you suggest buying tickets to the latest black and white Estonian witchcraft werewolf love story.
Although the editors of 366 Weird Movies select the nominees from the pool of available movies, the Awards themselves are a naked popularity contest and do not necessarily reflect either the artistic merit or intrinsic weirdness of the films involved. The Weirdcademy Awards are tongue-in-cheek and for fun only. Ballot-stuffing is a frequent occurrence. Please, no wagering.
The Weirdcademy Awards are given to the Weirdest Movie, Actor, Actress and Scene of the previous year, as voted by the members of the Weirdcademy of Motion Picture Arts and Weirdness.
Who makes up the Weirdcademy? Membership is open to all readers of 366 Weird Movies. The rules for joining the Weirdcademy of Motion Picture Arts and Weirdness are as follows. To officially join, locate an official online ballot (such as the one below) and hover your mouse pointer over the radial button representing the choice of movie you would like to see win any award in any category. Then, simply depress the left button of your mouse to make your selection. Selections made using the right mouse button will be disregarded, and you will be forced to reapply. If your application for membership is approved, a dot will appear next to your choice. You are not done yet, so continue reading. To be certified as a voting member of the Weirdcademy, at some point subsequent to making your selection, you must navigate your mouse button to the box marked “vote.” Now, again depress your left mouse button to confirm your membership as a voting member of the Weirdcademy.
(Vote as many times as you like, but only once per day, please. We’ll keep voting open until February 24 at 12:00 Noon EST, so we can announce our results before the Academy Awards and steal their thunder).
There is no requirement that you’ve have to actually see all the movies in any category before voting.
Be sure to also vote for Weirdest Short Film of the Year. To watch all five nominees and to cast your vote, please click here.
It’s time for the 2018 edition of the Weirdcademy Awards, the premier (only) awards contest focused on weird films, chosen by weird film fans. That means shorts as well as features. We’ve collected all five nominees for 2018′s Weirdest Short of the Year together in one place, for ease of voting. You can cast a vote for your favorite once every 24 hours. February 24 at 12:00 Noon EST. Cameron Jorgensen, 366 Weird Movies under-appreciated shorts Czar, discovered and selected these unusual films through his own research. This year’s lineup includes revelations from noodle-slurping clowns, pretzel-loving monsters, psychedelic drugs that kick in at the worst possible time, ugly cats, and men who blame women (and Rick) for their personal failings.
“Interface | Episode 11 | Revelation” by u m a m i
We didn’t get to fly out to Park City this year for the Sundance festivities (our budget has never allowed for trips to Park City), the rival Slamdance Festival was kind enough to offer us a handful of digital screeners to create a virtual fest in the 366 Weird Movies home offices. So, while I didn’t get the full audience experience watching these underground films—chuckling with fellow patrons at the antics of these onscreen loonies while the scent of popcorn wafts through the darkened room—at least you won’t have to hear me complain about trekking through Park City’s sub-zero temperatures to see them (I watched them via Chromecast in front of a roaring gas fireplace clutching a glass of beer, thank you very much).
Obviously, we focused only on movies we thought sounded somewhat weird, ignoring the vanilla dramas and documentaries that make up the bulk of the programming. All of these films will have debuted by the time you’re reading this, but if you’re in Park City and you still want to catch them, Dollhouse and The Vast of Night play again on the 28th, while “Slip Road” can be seen on the same night in the “Anarchy Shorts” section. A Great Lamp and “Finding the Asshole” play again on the 29th (and “Asshole” is also now available to everyone online), while “Butt Fantasia” encores on the 31st.
So, while “major” critics are salivating over Sundance’s latest dramas about attractive young white people grappling with their mommy and daddy issues, we’ll show you what’s going on in the underbelly of Park City, where the weirdos congregate to screen their latest experimental offenses about unattractive young white people grappling with much weirder mommy and daddy issues.
Speaking of weird mommy issues, first up in our queue is Dollhouse: The Eradication of Female Subjectivity in American Popular Culture (don’t worry, the scary pseudoacademic title is part of the joke). Using an aesthetic borrowed from “Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story” and a sense of humor derived from “South Park,” Nicole Brending tells of the rise and fall of Junie Spoons, a child superstar a la Britney Spears or Miley Cyrus, entirely with children’s dolls. This project was a labor of love by Brending, who launched a Kickstarter campaign in 2013 that failed to reach its goal, but kept hope alive and managed to complete the film (for a reported budget of “no money”) five years later.
Even if it’s unpolished and uneven, that kind of personal passion usually results in something worth watching, and that’s the case here. Dollhouse provides steady chuckles and is frequently in very bad taste—especially considering that its mockumentary subject becomes a washed-up, drug addicted divorcee felon in her early teens. Among the John Waters-approved provocations are a pre-teen sex tape (with pixellated doll penis), dolls stuck with syringes, black men voiced by white women, Mapplethrope photos, and a vagina transplant/repossession. The Continue reading SLAMDANCE 2019 REMOTE COVERAGE→
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