We’re well aware that we’ve been neglecting our primary purpose, and that it’s been a good while since we’ve officially elevated a movie onto the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies ever made. All that changes next week as we add movie #96. Well it be Bellflower (2011), the mumblecore drama about contemporary slackers who build Mad Max machines in preparation for the coming Apocalypse? Or could it be Elena (2011), the morally ambiguous story of an older Russian woman and a coveted inheritance that won a special jury prize in the “Un Certain Regard” category at Cannes? Perhaps it’s reader-suggestion The Saddest Music in the World (2003), starring Isabella Rossellini as a legless Canadian beer baroness who sponsors a global search for the titular music during the Great Depression? If you’ve guessed which one it is don’t tell the others, let them be shocked and surprised!
After a few weeks of surprisingly ordinary search terms, this week the abnormal returned to Google with a vengeance, keying in multitude of distorted entries we can use in our weekly quest to find the Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Our first honorable mention comes from the searcher we’d most like to meet: “i am weird movies.” As usual, the twi1sted pr0n searchers brought us disquieting gold with “boys first sex with his dog;” not the weirdest, but certainly the most disturbing, search of the week. On a more innocent smut note, we noticed a developing kink pattern in this sequence of searches: “dwarf breastfeeding movies,” “women breastfeeding horse videos,” and our favorite in the series, “films featuring the dead breastfeeding” (we wonder if the last refers to some extremely rare Jerry Garcia bootlegs?) Despite the fun afforded by the previous queries, our vote for Weirdest Search Term of the Week goes to the simple “japanese stewadess constipated,” simply because we can not imagine one possible scenario where we’d type that particular combination of words into the Google search box. Not one. Really, try to think of one yourself. You’ll see.
Here’s the ridiculously long and ever-growing reader suggested review queue for your perusal: Saddest Music in the World (next week!); Kairo [AKA Pulse]; Mulholland Drive; The American Astronaut; Blood Tea and Red Strings; The Films of Kenneth Anger, Vol. II (for Lucifer Rising, among others); Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; The Bride of Frank; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE→
Glitch in the Grid (2011): An artist suffers a spiritual crisis in this film mixing live action and stop-motion animation. The director calls the style “spiritual surrealism.” Opening in New York City with scattered single-night screenings across the country through the fall. Glitch in the Grid official site.
Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011): Psychological thriller about the mental struggles of woman who has escaped from a cult trying to adjust to “real” society. Reviews are excellent, making us think it’s weirdness must be fairly mild. Martha Marcy May Marlene official site.
FILM FESTIVALS: FETISCH FILM FESTIVAL (Oct. 25-29, Kiel, Germany):
If you’re into S&M and outré erotica, Kiel, Germany is the place to be in October. Amongst the dominatrix documentaries and soft porn bondage features, the Fetish Film Festival will also be screening a few very weird films:
Maximum Shame – Read our capsule review. The world’s only “apocalyptic fetish horror musical chess sci-fi weird feature movie.” Oct. 26.
Planet Diva – Self-aware mock-grindhouse movies are the latest fad for low-budget producers; this short looks to be the weirdest of the genre screening here. Oct. 26.
Sleeping Beauty – From Australia comes this modern folktale that sounds like it has more to do with The House of Sleeping Beauties than with the classic fairy tale. Julia Leigh’s feminist “Wonder Cinema” film has been making a name by playing every festival that will book it. Oct. 29.
VigasioSexploitation -The synopsis begins, “an egg from outer space infects the villagers of Vigasio…” and only gets weirder from there. Starring a man-pig and a naked woman with a soapbox covering her head. The movie is available for free download from the official site (adults only, obviously). There’s also a VigasioSexploitation, Vol. 2 (not downloadable, but will be shown at the festival). Oct. 26.
Untitled Snow WhiteFeature (est. 2012): It promises to bring a “dark twist” to the Snow White legend. The presence of icons of conventionality Julia Roberts (as the Evil Queen) and Nathan Lane in the cast gives up pause, but director Tarsem Singh has gone weird in the past (The Cell, The Fall). Untitled Snow White on IMDB.
Upstream Color (est. 2012): After making a splash with the microbudgeted mindbender Primer, engineer-turned-filmmaker Shane Carruth disappeared off the radar, but word has it he’s back with a new project (one that’s described, partly, as a romance). Chud.com appears to have broken the news, though they don’t have many details. Even more interesting than the Color confirmation is the news that his script A Topiary (which concerns a “mysterious box” and may be a sequel of sorts to Primer) is still alive, with an estimated release date of 2013. (Assist to Pussy Goes Grrr for bringing this story to our attention).
NEW ON DVD:
The Bulgarian Prophet (2011?): Unpretentiously animated satire about a Bulgarian immigrant who becomes an unlikely prophet after being struck by a meteor during the hippie era. Creator Yavor Batchev calls it “an amalgam of Eugene Ionesco, Boris Vian and Kafka” and from the trailer it appears to take (equal?) shots at both the East and the West. Apparently a one-man show, thanks to the marvels of modern technology; it’s being sold via the author’s website for $14.95 + shipping for a DVD or a $5.95 download. The Bulgarian Prophet official site.
The Last Circus [Balada Triste de Trompeta] (2010): Read our capsule review. We declared this tale of warring clowns in Franco’s Spain not weird, but we won’t blame you if you want to check it out anyway. Buy The Last Circus.
Satan Hates You (2009): Read our capsule review. We were one of the very first outlets to review this film, and it seems like we’ve been waiting forever for this Jack-Chick-tract-come-to-life to finally come out so we can prove we didn’t dream it. Buy Satan Hates You.
NEW ON BLU-RAY:
The Clowns (1970): The seldom-seen Federico Fellini “documentary,” made for Italian television, exploring the weird director’s obsession with clowns. Parts are scripted (thus the quotes around “documentary”). Buy The Clowns [Blu-ray].
The Crow (1994): A rock musician returns from the dead as a goth spirit to wreak vengeance on the street gang that killed him and his fiancée. A simple, but extremely atmospheric, graphic novel adaptation, the movie is unfortunately best known for the death of rising star Brandon (son of Bruce) Lee, who was tragically killed when a prop gun was accidentally left loaded. Buy The Crow [Blu-ray].
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (Ultimate Collectors Edition) (1971): This psychedelic and very frightening children’s story sees foppish candyman Wonka (a brilliant Gene Wilder) and his gang of moralizing orange dwarfs knock off disobedient children one by one. The set comes in a commemorative tin box and (natch) contains a replica of a Golden Ticket along with a 144 page (!) booklet, a Blu-ray copy of the movie with hi-def extras, and a DVD copy of the movie with (different) standard-def extras. Buy Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (Ultimate Collector’s Edition).
FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:
We’re not linking any YouTube movies this week, but we’re using this space to remind you of the VigasioSexploitation free download (IPod or torrent) mentioned above in the Fetisch Film Festival rundown. If you do download and watch it, be sure to tell us what you think!
What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.
According to Bela Lugosi‘s official bio, before coming to America he had been a star on the Hungarian stage, appearing in major Shakespeare productions. Several biographers, however, have disputed Lugosi’s “star” ranking during that period. It seems most of his roles had actually been small ones. Regardless, Lugosi enlisted in the Hungarian army during the First World War, was wounded several times, and later had to flee Hungary during a tumultuous political climate which was unfriendly to his leftist leanings. After a stay in Germany, Lugosi arrived penniless in the States. Eventually, he made his way to the New York stage and began appearing in plays and silent films. In 1927, Lugosi was cast in the role of Dracula in Hamilton Dean’s famous stage play. With that, Lugosi became a major star of the stage, and stardom brought him numerous female fans, including Clara Bow, with whom he had a brief affair.
In 1929, director Tod Browning, shopping around for the lead of the film version of Dracula, cast Lugosi as a vampire-like inspector in The Thirteenth Chair(1929). Although Lugosi was not a great actor in the conventional sense, he did have an undeniably magnetic screen presence, and he brought an air of European mystery to the most rudimentary melodramas. Browning capitalized on this as few directors could and it worked, leading to Lugosi landing the career-making role of Bram Stoker’s Count in Browning’s 1931 film, Dracula. The 49 year old Lugosi was perfect for the part. His idiosyncratic mannerisms, unique mangling of the English language (which, despite rumor, he did not deliver phonetically), and otherworldly persona made for a compelling figure, a point made all the more obvious when compared to Carlos Villarias’ laughable performance in the Spanish language Continue reading LUGOSI→
FEATURING: Ayn Ruymen, Lucille Benson, John Ventantonio
PLOT: A sexually curious teenage runaway negotiates the deviant scumbags in her crazy aunt’s creaky boarding house.
WHY IT MIGHT MAKE THE LIST: It might make the List thanks to the atmosphere of sleazy psychosexual depravity that’s slathered on thicker than the blue eye shadow teenage Cheryl cakes on to try to make herself look like a woman.
COMMENTS: Private Parts is a haunted house movie, except that the ghosts bedeviling the heroine are the bizarre, boozy boarders at her aunt’s decrepit hotel, and she’s not nearly as wary of them as she needs to be. This is a movie full of creaking floorboards, turning doorknobs, and unseen men peeping through knotholes in a dusty old hotel. Adding to the atmosphere is a wonderfully overwrought Bernard Hermann-inspired soundtrack that’s with us so constantly that it actually creates tension when it disappears for a moment to allow the characters to speak. Not that what this collection of skid-row oddballs has to say would be particularly reassuring. We have the Reverend, who at one point suggests he should slip out of his clerical vestments into something more comfortable; the spooky old hag who calls young Cheryl “Alice” after a resident who disappeared a long time ago under suspicious circumstances; and there’s the hotelier herself, Aunt Martha, who loves funerals, hates painted women and believes “the body is a prison.” There’s also George, the silent young photographer with the darkroom in the basement and the creepy stare that focuses on pubescent Cheryl whenever she’s in the room. Each of these weirdos has deeper secrets in their closets, which Cheryl will uncover when she starts snooping around their rooms against her Aunt’s orders (hint to future runaways: you should never trust a guy who owns a customized carrying case for his personal syringe). Obviously, this is no place for a naïf like Cheryl, but she’s not oblivious to the degeneracy—she’s actively drawn to it. Curious about sex but totally inexperienced, she enjoys the feel of a grown man’s eyes on her developing body, without understanding the difference between healthy lust and sick perversion. All she knows is, after receiving presents of erotica and spiderweb lingerie from a secret admirer, boys her own age suddenly seem boring. Although the movie sports a body count, the tension comes from hoping Cheryl will somehow escape what seems to be her inevitable seduction and corruption. If IMDB is to be believed, Ayn Ruymen was 25 years old when she played the part, but you may have a hard time believing the actress is a day over 16. Not only does she have an adolescent build, she plays the part with a wonderful mix of innocent naughtiness; she mischievously snoops and pranks the boarders, but still sleeps with a teddy bear and isn’t half as sophisticated as she thinks. The bits with a bizarre, customizable “blow up” doll are unforgettably creepy. After playing as straight psychohorror through most of the running time, Private Parts takes a strange detour into black comedy territory for the conclusion with the arrival of a couple of ludicrously blasé cops, and throws out a couple of scarcely believable twists at the very end as the weird capper. All told, Private Parts a deliciously depraved debut from oddball Paul Bartel.
Private Parts is a should-be cult movie that’s still searching for its cult forty years after release. For some reason, MGM picked the movie up for distribution, then apparently balked at the pseudo-pedophiliac subject matter and buried the movie. The flick has been consistently overlooked since; those who caught it in its brief theatrical run or stumbled upon its unheralded VHS or DVD releases remember it, but word of mouth has never made it a hit, despite its midnight movie feel and pleasing perversity. Ironically, director Paul Bartel received more exposure making films like Death Race 2000 for Roger Corman (Roger’s brother Gene was producer on Private Parts) than he with this Hollywood debut.
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