CAPSULE: TWISTER (1989)

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DIRECTED BY:

FEATURING: , Suzy Amis, ,

PLOT: A man seeks to reconnect with his daughter and her alcoholic mother, who rarely leave the mansion they share with the family patriarch and a weirdo artist brother/uncle.Twister (1989)

WHY IT WON’T MAKE THE LIST: This shambolic mass of quivering quirk is for fans of the cast only—specifically, for fans of Crispin Glover, who, bullwhip in hand, is acting somewhere near the acme of his Crispin Glover-ishness here as a fey would-be artist.

COMMENTS: Harry Dean Stanton is mini-golf mogul and patriarch of the crumbling Cleveland clan in Twister, Michael Almereyda’s odd but mostly unsuccessful debut film. Stanton, who is romancing a local Christian kids’ show host (Lois Chiles), is mildly eccentric, but his children have gone around the bend. Howdy (Crispin Glover) is an effete, sensitive artist in a shaggy Prince Valiant haircut. He plays guitar and sings (badly) and looks constipated most of the time. Sister Maureen (Suzy Amis) is a mess: constantly drinking beer, passing out on the lawn, and imagining helicopters are watching her. According to the story’s plan she’s supposed to be quirky and charming, but her behavior is too unpredictable and dangerously immature to be endearing. She’s an unfit mother, guilty of child endangerment just by being herself. Observing all the crazy are a trio of somewhat normal outsiders: live-in nanny Lola (Charlaine Woodard), whose underdeveloped part seems to be on back-order; victim kid Violet (Lindsay Christman), who is currently normal (against all odds) but in desperate need of rescue; and decent-guy protagonist Chris (Dylan McDermott), who just wants to put his family back together and get his daughter out of the Cleveland’s madhouse.

The title implies a cataclysmic upheaval that never comes. The Cleveland men get and lose girlfriends, the maturity-challenged siblings make plans to visit their absentee mother that don’t get very far, and Chris tries to woo the mother of his child despite increasing evidence that she’s too far gone into alcoholism and mental illness to make a commitment that lasts more than five minutes. By the end, despite the script’s hopeful protestations, we don’t believe that anyone has learned anything, or that anything is going to change for the core family, no matter what new living arrangements they propose. Twister is a character-driven story without genuine character development; things continue to happen, it keeps teasing us that it’s about to turn interesting, and then suddenly it ends, in a light breeze rather than a tornado.

Twister‘s main asset is its cast, and one of its coups was getting beat novelist to show up and deliver a few lines of dialogue. Watching Glover’s performance alongside Burroughs, you sense that the actor based his laborious, over-enunciating schtick on the junkie icon’s odd cadence. Seeing these two cult figures exchange carefully-crafted but halting lines of dialogue is one of Twister’s only small pleasures.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:

“Almereyda finds exactly the right tone: a loopy, understated deadpan that invites empathy rather than ridicule.”–Nathan Rabin, The A.V. Club (DVD)

(This movie was nominated for review by dthoren, who said it “stars Harry Dean Stanton as patriarch of an insane family, including a bullwhip-wielding Crispin Glover in one of his trademark terrible wigs. I love it, and I hope you will too.” Suggest a weird movie of your own here.)

THE 2013 EDITION OF THE 366 WEIRD MOVIES YEARBOOK IS HERE!

We’re late again… so sue us.

366 Weird Movies 2013 Yearbook Cover ImageWe’ve been publishing the Yearbook since 2009, but the cover design of this 2013 edition counts by far as the most professional-looking wrapper we’ve ever sent to print. While I have of necessity improved my sense of graphic design, the main credit for this stunning improvement goes to , who not only let us use his drawing for the cover art, but also spit-shined my original concept so that he could show it to his artist friends without embarrassment.

Speaking of G.B., you will find an interview with him as a Yearbook exclusive bonus, along with a director’s statement from  on his latest film (Gallino: The Chicken System) that was not previously published online.

This year’s page count is down to a slim 120. This is a deliberate choice; there was too much filler in previous episodes. The current edition will take up less real estate on your bookshelf while providing the same amount of insight as previous Yearbooks. You do not have to pay any extra for the more concentrated film criticism you’ll find in the latest edition; we’re keeping the price at a weirdly affordable $6.99.

We think the ad copy speaks for itself:

Covering everything bizarre in cinema, from art house surrealism to next-generation cult movies to so-bad-they’re-weird B-movie atrocities, 366 Weird Movies has been meeting all of your weird movie needs since 2009 with a combination of sly humor and serious insight. This is our annual Yearbook covering all the weird movies released and re-released in 2013, from “The ABC’s of Death” to “Zeta One”, with over 45 full-length reviews, extensive supplemental listings, and exclusive interviews and director’s statements. If it’s weird, and it’s a movie, and it’s from 2013, and 366 Weird Movies covered it, you’ll find it here.

You can buy the 366 Weird Movies 2013 Yearbook from Createspace (our preference due to higher royalties) or from Amazon (where it can often be found on sale). Don’t forget that it’s also available (for a mere $2.99!) in a Kindle version (although the content differs slightly, as two reviews appear in the print version that are not in the e-book).

All profits derived from your kind purchase will go towards paying our hosting costs. Any leftover monies will be used to fly the 366 Weird Movies staff out to Cannes (but not for the film festival; we just want to hit the beach).

366 UNDERGROUND: WAY DOWN IN CHINATOWN (2013)

Way Down in Chinatown 1

DIRECTED BY: Eric Michael Kochmer

FEATURING: Justin Dray, Stephanie Sanditz, Lisa Loring, Nancy Wolfe, Ashli Haynes

PLOT: Playwright Victor Mitchum (Dray) and his director/wife Jessica Mitchum (Sanditz) receive funding to produce their new play, “Apocalypse Tomorrow.” As they start auditions for the play, the real Apocalypse begins, involving worms taking human form and the song ‘Goodnight, Irene’.

Click to purchase the Way Down in Chinatown DVD

WHY IT WON’T MAKE THE LIST: It takes more than avant-garde pretensions to make a good weird film. This is strictly a ‘love it or hate it’ movie, and I completely hated it within the first 10 minutes.

COMMENTS: One of the worst P.O.S. that I’ve had occasion to watch; yet another project to give the term ‘avant-garde’ a bad reputation. Essentially a play adapted for film, it takes all the worst aspects of experimental cinema/theater and throws it in your lap. If you’re a fan of German Expressionism, you’re better off finding the real thing to watch instead of half-baked ‘tributes’ like this that cheapen and taint the term.

One could watch the film ironically, and see it as a parody of self-absorbed, pseudo-intellectual tripe that tries to pass itself off as deep and meaningful; but the film is so serious that even watching it ironically is exhausting and unsatisfying. Not even the presence of Lisa Loring (Wednesday Addams from “The Addams Family” television show) elevates this to camp value.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:

“Surreal, impressionistic, and irrevocably bizarre, Kochmer’s artistic approach to the eccentric is reminiscent of a David Lynch expose.”–Dave Gammon, Horrornews.net (contemporaneous)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

On Memorial Day (this Monday) here in the States, we’ll start off with a review of the avant-garde indie Way Down in Chinatown, and follow that up with a “big” announcement. As we move into the meat of the week we’ll take a crack at whittling down that reader-suggested review queue with a look at ‘s quirky dysfunctional family comedy Twister (1989), and also take a second look at ‘s earnest 1953 pro-transvestism documentary Glen or Glenda? Meanwhile, flattered by the attention his Godzilla review drew, Alfred considers dumping his excursions into fringe cinema for the summer so he can focus on more of those disappointing mass-produced blockbusters people love so much. What will he skewer next? You’ll have to tune in Thursday to find out.

Our theme for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest itself comes from a search term: “this movie is weird” (which is itself a somewhat strange search, since it seems premised on the notion that Google knows what movie the searcher is watching at the time). This week’s runners-up: “a western where a man kicks steel balls at his enemies.” “What is the title of the movie about a man and his catsmust figure out what happened to the laser pointer”?  “Schizo film gay fetish planet.” All movies we’d like to see, but the official winner of our Weirdest Search Term of the Week is “movie mad man bites vagina addicted.”

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue currently stands: Twister (1989) (next week!); Glen or Glenda? (next week!); Celine and Julie Go Boating; Abnormal: The Sinema of Nick Zedd; Rubin & Ed; The Real McCoy; Themroc; Candy (1968); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →

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