ZORG AND ANDY (2009) IS A FILM I JUST SAW AND SUBSEQUENTLY ENJOYED

Still from Zorg & Andy (2009)

If you were at Tromadance a couple weeks back, you probably heard about this little comedy pearl (and, while we’re on the subject, did you see me there? I was the guy in the yellow shirt with the melting, pulsating face). It was a modest success at the festival, and hopefully that appearance leads to a bright future for this film, because I stand before you today a man who, on his first assignment for the amazing 366 Weird Movies, has struck pay-dirt. Zorg and Andy is a low-budget feature with a lot of what makes independent movies so intriguing; the glorious smacking of ambition. I appreciate anything that tries harder than it needs to, and this little movie, made for less than $25,000, truly breaks from its ilk and strives for some really good stuff here. Is it weird? A little. But as long as it’s enjoyable and a tad bit more off-the-beaten-trail than, say, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, isn’t that what counts?

So the movie revolves around the wacky, ZANY antics of our soon-to-be best pal Andy. Andy is a loser who sucks at just about everything, and this is just the way things are for him, and probably will be for the rest of his life. Fortunately, before his loser status gets him kicked out of college, he lands a work-study job at the local museum cleaning artifacts. When he arrives, he meets his overworked handler Jen and she puts him to the task of cleaning a very important artifact rushed to them by the museum director herself. It’s a fertility statue of unknown origin with a strange, let’s call it “protrusion”, sticking out of its forehead. Andy does an almost perfect job of cleaning it and relaxes for a second to congratulate himself, when suddenly a strange and mysterious MILF appears and seduces poor Andy. She asks him for the statue, calling it “Zorg” and saying that she’s been waiting to pick it up. He buys this line, obviously in the throes of her charms, and, in a flash, she leaves with statue in hand. Afterward, he tells Jen all the good work he did with cleaning “Zorg” and giving it to the mysterious lady, and she naturally flips her lid. In a rage, she demands that Andy use what little intelligence he possesses to find the statue and bring it back before the museum director notices what has happened. So it becomes a scramble to find this “Zorg”, unearth why this woman wants it so badly, and do it under the nose of museum staff. Hopefully Andy can show the world that he’s not a total waste of space before it’s too late!

Director Guy Davis gets a thumbs-up from yours truly for making a film of surprising quality with so few resources. Everything about this film belies its cost. The music, mostly composed by a gent named Kevin MacLeod, is very good and exceptionally fitting. It’s flirty, fun, and peppy, marking the bubbly mood of this b-movie comedy. The special effects, almost entirely digital, are passable, using the ol’ standby, day-for-night, like it was about to be outlawed and making the use of some quirky CG for various menaces standing in Andy’s way. The shots are all textbook, and first-time director Davis must be commended for his utilitarian framing and shooting the first-time around, not botching a single scene.

At a light and breezy 62 minutes, Zorg and Andy is the comic equivalent of Binaca; the effects wear off pretty fast and the sensation isn’t as refreshing as you’d like it to be, but it packs a bit of a bite for what its worth. There are some pretty effective gags here for such a budgeted affair. I mean, the statue alone gets me a little bit; it’s so penis-y! Andy himself is played to quite a few laughs, his stupidity spreading thick over the movie like a peanut butter and idiot sandwich.

But one of my favorite gags is one of the things that makes this film on the verge of being weird, and that is the presence of Stuart and The Pig. They’re the two students featured in the picture above, and they’re the gurus of all the goings-on in University news. You might be wondering why The Pig has a papier-mâché pig’s head on. Well, it’s never explained, and he never takes it off; all we know is that he’s a benefactor of Andy and seems to be highly respected around the campus for his rarely-dispensed wisdom. And Stuart is Stuart. ‘Nuff said.

The acting by Andy, played by Scott Ganyo, is fair, verging on good, and I especially enjoyed his confused-but-happy attitude that carries that film on an “aww-garsh” Goofy-like sentiment. Even though he’s a feeb, and a vague jerk, you’ll somehow still like him enough to not want him to die. But not enough for him to get away scot-free, of course. That’s where Jen comes in, played by Kate Rudd. She’s the workaholic boss of Andy who has the distinction of yelling at him for about 3/4 of the film. She’s also passable, but I found her to be a little flat, and I felt like she wasn’t as into it as she could’ve been. I’d definitely give her another chance, but if you end up watching this, you’ll know what I mean when I say, “Eh.”

So run, don’t walk! to the internet to catch this light and fast b-movie surprise. It’s cute, it’s fast, and it’s somewhat odd as far as the plot goes. You won’t find much better for $25,000, and I mean that in the sincerest way possible. I would check this out for Stuart and The Pig alone, though, so I might be insane! You can go to their website at www.zorgandandy.com, where DVDs will be arriving soon, if you’re interested.  [ED: DVDs are now available from Film Baby.] Out of a possible four, all things considered, I give Zorg and Andy 3 stars and a wink/nod from across cyberspace.

Thanks, 366 Weird Movies, for allowing me to get my hands on this. You’re the best, and I hope this will be the first of many more collaborations between you and I!

For more on Eric Young, check out his A Movie A Day review site at http://cinematronica.wordpress.com!

CAPSULE: EX DRUMMER (2007)

DIRECTED BY: Koen Mortier

FEATURING: Dries Van Hegen, Norman Baert, Gunter Lamoot,

PLOT: A writer agrees to become the drummer for a band formed by trio of handicapped lowlifes to win a Belgian battle of the bands; he ends up manipulating them into destruction.Still from Ex Drummer (2007)

WHY IT WON’T MAKE THE LIST:  With it’s inverted skinhead and brief tour of a ravaged vagina, Ex Drummer is definitely weird; the problem is, it’s so unpleasant, pretentious, tedious and nihilistic that the oppressive atmosphere makes the viewer desperate to escape the movie.

COMMENTS: There are many possible interpretations of Ex Drummer—for one, the script at times implies it is a vague meditation on “personal sadness”—but the most honest explanation of what the film is comes from writer Dries’ confession when he agrees to join “The Feminists” as their celebrity drummer: “I want to step outside my happy world. Descend into the depths of stupidity, ugliness, obtuseness, unfaithfulness… Latch onto the life of losers, but without belonging to that world and in the knowledge that I can always return to my own world.” In other words, it’s moral tourism among the disadvantaged: the underclasses do the craziest things, like constantly rape each other and neglect their children until the tykes chomp down on excrement from hunger. Who wouldn’t want to enter such a world for ninety minutes, aside from most film-goers? Besides the drummer, the blackguard band’s principals are an abusive deaf guitarist, a gay rhythm guitarist with a stiff arm from an accident incurred when he was caught masturbating as a teen, and a misogynist skinhead singer with a lisp. Upper-class, educated Dries’ turns out to be the worst scoundrel of all, callously manipulating and scripting these mooncalves into cruel ends for his own amusement. True, the film can be very weird (gravity works backwards in the skinhead’s flat, where toothpaste and blood flow towards the roof), but the weirdness sits uneasily: the director seems to view unreality as just another form of ugliness to be savored. As a black comedy, more comedy and less black would have been greatly appreciated. First time feature director Mortier has a few interesting ideas and shots, such as an extended early sequence where the film unspools in reverse as the band bicycles backwards from Dries’ flat into their own backstories. But the pity is that the main memories we take home from Ex Drummer aren’t these few moments of inspiration; rather, there’s an impression that most of the movie was full of endlessly padded scenes of the band squabbling among itself or fighting other bands or organizers, hurling epithets and fists whenever anyone perceives the slightest slight to their egos. Since there are no characters anywhere in the film to root for, we have no reason to care who wins the battle of the bands. After that contest’s decided, there’s really nothing left for the movie to accomplish, but it presses on for another distasteful fifteen minutes, because having nothing to say or do has never stopped it before. Ex Drummer‘s attempts to forge nihilistic poetry from the lives of pariahs has gained it critical comparisons to Trainspotting; these are off, because Danny Boyle’s movie was about real people, and never indulged in such undisguised contempt for its characters. A more apt comparison is that Ex Drummer is a Belgian Gummo, with Eurotrash substituting for poor white trash, and even more shameless and self-aware gawking at the freaky antics of the disadvantaged.

On the plus side, the aggressive punk/metal soundtrack (with a few mellower indie rock numbers strategically inserted for a much needed change of pace) is actually pretty good, and likely the real reason for the film’s cult following. If you’re a fan of this type of music you’ll probably be much more forgiving of this movie, which could at times be described as an extended, uncensored, and rather pretentious music video.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:

“…bizarre, horribly violent and frequently brilliant black comedy from Belgium: a melange of Irrevérsible, Clockwork Orange, Man Bites Dog and This Is Spinal Tap.”–Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian (contemporaneous)

(This movie was nominated for review by reader “Denny.” Suggest a weird movie of your own here.)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week you can expect to see our long delayed review of the reader-nominated Belgian film Ex Drummer.  Also, be sure to check in on Tuesday, when we debut a new writer!  He’ll be reviewing a little underground horror/comedy movie called Zorg & Andy, which was made for $25,000 and has cult aspirations (but don’t all movies made for $25,000 ?)  Did we scoop a future classic, or sniff out some amateur trash?

As for the weirdest search term used to locate the site this week, we’re going to eschew the usual slew of misguided fetishists looking for free porn and go with “eraserhead are you a vampire”?  We’ll remember to pass on that question the next time we see him.

In the reader-suggested review queue: Ex Drummer (next week), Cowards Bend the Knee (coming soon!), Greasers Palace (substituted for Institute Benjamenta), Pan’s LabyrinthWaking Life, Survive Style 5+, The Dark Backward, The Short Films of David Lynch, Santa Sangre, Dead Man, Inland Empire, Monday (assuming I can find an English language version), The Abominable Dr. Phibes, Barton Fink, What? (Diary of Forbidden Dreams), Meatball Machine, Xtro, Basket Case, and Suicide Club. Yeah, we know we need to start whittling this thing down!

SATURDAY SHORT: BIMBO’S INITIATION (1931)

I know we’ve already featured a Betty Boop cartoon in this space (Betty Boop in Snow White), but this one was so good, we had to share. In this episode Bimbo falls into a manhole, and finds himself in a hideout for a group of people in black face with melted candle hats. Determined not to join their group, Bimbo puts himself in a lot of danger.

This cartoon contains a wonderfully outdated music score along with some sound effects that are very unique by today’s standards. There is a short peek at what looks like a famous Disney character at the beginning, and, as you may expect, some very surreal imagery throughout.

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 10/16/09

A look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN THEATERS (WIDE RELEASE):

Where the Wild Things Are: Weird director Spike Jonze (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation) takes a crack at adopting the titular classic 1963 children’s book, with the blessing of author Maurice Sendack.  Unlikely to be weird, but the previews show Jonze has done a remarkable job of bringing Sendack’s fanciful illustrations to life, and it’s always interesting to see what Spike’s up to.  Is this a one-off moneymaking detour for Jonze, or will a big hit here make him renounce his weird proclivities?  His followup project, an adaptation of Shane Jones’ weird novel “Light Boxes” about a town that battles eternal February (projected for a 2011 release) suggests we haven’t lost him yet.  Where the Wild Things Are official site.

NEW ON DVD:

Drag Me To Hell (2009):  Read our capsule reviewSam Raimi‘s multiplex-friendly classic horror film isn’t weird, but it is an effective and well-made thrillride that has lots of in-jokes for Evil Dead II fans. Buy from Amazon.

Hardware (1990):  Fangoria calls this long-unavailable post-apocalyptic sci-fi horror film about a man who finds a robot head in the desert “gritty, trippy and frightening.. one of the best horror movies you’ve never seen!”  Sounds intriguing to us, particularly since director Richard Staley followed this up with Dust Devil (1992), another horror film with a reputation for surrealistic tendencies that’s been on our radar for a while. Buy from Amazon

Land of the Lost (2009):  Read our capsule review.  Juvenile Will Ferrel comedy that’s a bit weird, but only by summer blockbuster standards. Buy from Amazon.

Natural Born Killers (1994):  This week sees a new 2-disc “director’s cut” version Oliver Stone’s controversial, violent, hallucinogenic satire on America’s fascination with violence, which on release was way too weird for mainstream critics to swallow.  The movie’s not perfect, but it is quite trippy, well-intentioned, and much better than received critical opinion would lead you to believe.  Look to these pages for a full review in the future. Buy from Amazon

NEW ON BLU-RAY:

Drag Me To Hell (2009):  See DVD review above. Buy Blu-ray from Amazon.

Land of the Lost (2009): See DVD review above. Buy Blu-ray from Amazon

Natural Born Killers (1994): See DVD review above. Buy Blu-ray from Amazon

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999): After four cardboard cutout children see a Canadian R-rated movie, America declares war on their neighbors to the north; Saddam Hussein and Satan get worked into the plot as well. We haven’t seen it, but we can guess what you’ll get from watching the TV show: the usual blend of clever plotting, bits of pop-absurdity, spotty satire and crude, cruel humor, with the R-rating giving the creators an excuse to focus on the last element. This popular title is finally available on Blu-Ray. Buy Blu-ray from Amazon.

NEW FREE (LEGITIMATE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

Carnival of Souls (1998): NOT the creepy 1968 Herk Harvey/Candice Hilligoss classic (which can be seen for free here, among other places), but a remake-in-name-only with a horrible reputation, about a pedophile clown.  Interesting mainly because it’s almost universally reviled; watch only if you want to see how low filmmakers can sink in their quest for a buck.  Watch Carnival of Souls (1998) free on YouTube.

Salome’s Last Dance (1988):  One of Ken Russell‘s rarer films is now available for streaming.  By all accounts, the director plays this period piece about a staging of Oscar Wilde’s infamous banned play “Salome” in a brothel relatively straight, but it’s still Ken Russell, so expect ample baroque perversity.  Watch Salome’s Last Dance free on YouTube.

Taxi Driver (1979):  No, we’re not kidding: you can now watch the Martin Scorcese/Robert DeNiro urban alienation classic for free on YouTube, courtesy of Crackle.  Not very weird, at least up until the ambiguous ending, but a consistently fascinating character study of a decaying mind and a classic of 1970s filmmaking.  Watch Taxi Driver free on YouTube.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

Celebrating the cinematically surreal, bizarre, cult, oddball, fantastique, strange, psychedelic, and the just plain WEIRD!