A look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Kill List: A psychologically scarred hit man agrees to the proverbial “one last mission” and finds it ironically horrifying.  This off-the-radar British horror-thriller is drawing a lot of comparisons to The Wicker Man (something that didn’t happen for the “official sequel,” The Wicker Tree).  Kill List official site.

IN DEVELOPMENT:

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter (June 2012 release):  The title tells all: this is a movie about the Great Emancipator freeing the undead from the curse of living death.  A silly concept, but the talent behind it makes it of some interest: Timur Bekmambetov (Nightwatch) is directing and Tim Burton is producing.  It’s being filmed in 3D, unfortunately.  No official site (yet).

NEW ON DVD:

Blubberella (2011): Another exercise in tasteful restraint from the inimitable Uwe Boll: a comedy about a fat, half-vampire superheroine who fights Nazis in WWII.  Boll gives himself a cameo as Hitler. Buy Blubberella.

Dream House (2011): Psychological thriller about a man who relocates his family to a suburban house where a murder once took place and starts seeing strange things, etc.  A troubled production which was virtually shelved by the Universal despite the presence of box office draws Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, and Naomi Watts in the cast.  The director tried to have his name removed. Buy Dream House.

The Mill and the Cross (2011):  Artist/director Lech Majewski brings Pieter Brueghel’s sprawling canvas “The Way to Calvary”—which set the Crucifixion in the painter’s own 16th century Flanders—to life, using CGI to overlap real actors with the artwork.  Maybe it’s not all that weird, but it’s certainly not normal.  Rutger Hauer stars as Brueghel and becomes the first actor ever to portray a Flemish painter and a hobo with a shotgun in the same year. Buy The Mill & The Cross.

NEW ON BLU-RAY:

Adaptation (2002):  Read our capsule review.  Nicolas Cage stars as twin screenwriters Donald and Charlie Kaufman in this seminal metamovie scripted by Charlie Kaufman.  From bargain label Image Entertainment, so there are no special features. Buy Adaptation [Blu-ray].

Dream House (2011): See description in DVD above. Buy Dream House [Blu-ray].

The Mill and the Cross (2011): See description in DVD above. Buy The Mill & The Cross [Blu-ray].

Monkeybone (2001):  Brendan Fraser plays an underground cartoonist who meets his libidinal alter-ego, Monkeybone, in a coma in this Roger Rabbit-style feature mixing animated and real life characters.  It’s from Henry Selick, co-stars Whoopi Goldberg as Death, and is actually pretty nasty for a PG-13 movie. Buy Monkeybone [Blu-ray].

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

My Beautiful Girl, Mari (2002): Korean animation about a boy’s first love, with a girl who may be a spirit of some sort.  Critic were divided but it looks mildly weird (though audiences and critics used the word “confusing” instead).  Watch My Beautiful Girl, Mari free on YouTube.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

Here’s what we got next week: we’ll report on the high-octane sci-fi racing anime Redline (2009), struggle with the question of whether every boomer’s favorite psychedelic nightmare kiddie movie Willa Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) is “weird” or not, and Alfred will down the second in his”Boris Karloff’s Final Six Pack” series with House of Evil (1968).  We’ll also be revealing the nominess for 2011’s Weirdcademy Awards (including a new category, “Weirdest Short Films”), so get your index finger ready to vote for its favorites (if you’re not already a member of the Weirdcademy, we’ll provide instructions for joining).

It was a pretty great week for weird search terms, though we’re still having difficulty plowing through about 1,000 queries a day (!)  Soon, we’ll have to hire an intern just to read Google Analytics reports.  First off, we are proud to announce that, according to search engines, 366 Weird Movies remains your number one source of information about “haunted by an apple” (the exact phrase).  We have no advice for you if you’re coming here because you’re actually being haunted by an apple, but we appreciate the traffic anyway.  But that’s not the only bizarre information Google believes we can supply you with!  Tired of all those inferior guides and looking for “better pillow maturation videos”?  Apparently, we can help!  Looking for “dinosaur bras”?  Us again!  Of course, we specialize in weird movies, so it doesn’t surprise us that someone would think of us when looking for “movie where a lactating man drinking beer.”  But our favorite Weird Search Term of the week is the poetically sleazy “naked massage with its relished mysteries.”  Why just accept the mystery, when you can get naked and relish it?

Here’s the ridiculously long reader-suggested review queue: Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (next week!); The Bride of Frank; La Grande Bouffe; Hedwig and the Angry Inch; Even Dwarves Started Small;  “My Wrongs 8245-8249 and 117″; Freaked;  Schizopolis; Strings; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →

A look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

The Theater Bizarre:  A six-film horror anthology from directors Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Jeremy Kasten, Tom Savini, and Richard Stanley.  Apparently Hussain’s segment is surreal.  The Theater Bizarre official Facebook page.

The Wicker Tree:  Two missionaries travel to a remote Scottish town where the villagers still worship the old pagan gods in this re-make/boot/hash of the Certified Weird The Wicker Man (1973).  It’s from original director Robin Hardy and brings back star Christopher Lee for a cameo, but early reviews suggest Hardy should have left the old gods sleeping.  We’ll probably check it out anyway: could it be worse than the infamous 2006 remake with Nicolas Cage?  The Wicker Tree official site.

VIDEO-ON-DEMAND:

Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie:  The Cartoon Network cult comics get their own billion dollar extravaganza, but blow the entire budget on celebrity cameos by Jeff Goldblum, Zach Galifianakis, and Will Ferrell, among others.  The plot has something to do with shrim [sic].  This will be released to theaters in early March, but you can rent the movie now. Rent Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie on Video-on-Demand.

The Wholly Family:  Terry Gilliam‘s much anticipated short film is set in Naples and involves Fellini-esque clowns and the director’s typically visionary visuals.  It was commissioned by a pasta company and is believed to run around 15 minutes; it’s available for a $3 rental from Gilliam’s official site.  Rent The Wholly Family at Terry Gilliam’s official site.

NEW ON DVD:

Fascination (1979):  This week, Redemption Video is remastering and re-releasing five of the seldom-seen, dreamlike erotic vampire films of the infamous Jean Rollin (a box set would have been nice, but we’ll take what we can get).  Fascination, the most recent of this bunch, features ex-porn star Brigitte Lahaie as a bisexual vampire aristocrat with a scythe, and is one of the director’s most popular and well-received movies.  Buy Fascination.

The Iron Rose [AKA Rose of Iron] (1973):  A couple wander into a cemetery and can’t find their way out.  There’s a vampire, Gothic atmosphere, and a clown delivering flowers to a grave. Buy The Iron Rose.

Lips of Blood (1975):  An amnesiac man is reminded of his life as a vampire after seeing a his family castle on a poster. Rollins was nearly killed making this film when he dived into the sea to try to save a coffin prop and was struck on the head and knocked unconscious. Buy Lips of Blood.

The Nude Vampire (1970): This is the immediate followup to Rollin’s Rape of the Vampire (1968), the movie that kicked off the director’s mildly surrealistic, exploitative erotic vampire fetish formula.  This one throws in interdimensional portals and a stag-headed man alongside the marquee vampire(s).  Buy The Nude Vampire.

Shiver of the Vampires [AKA Strange Things Happen at Night] (1971):  A honeymooning couple stay in a castle run by vampires.  The usual nonsensical atmosphere and nude women Rollin fans crave. Buy Shiver of the Vampires.

Sister Mary (2011): We’re going entirely off the plot synopsis here, but this does sound weird: a homophobic cop teams up with a flamboyantly gay partner to stop a serial killing nun, and they end up uncovering a conspiracy by the Catholic Church.  So it’s a homoerotic blasphemous comedy thriller; oh, and it’s listed as a musical, too.  Starring Judy Tenuda (remember her?) as the serial Sister. Buy Sister Mary.

NEW ON BLU-RAY:

Annie Hall (1977): Read our capsule review.  Not a weird movie per se, but a classic fourth wall breaker. Buy Annie Hall [Blu-ray].

Fascination (1979):  See description in DVD above.  Buy Fascination [Blu-ray].

The Iron Rose [AKA Rose of Iron] (1973): See description in DVD above. Buy The Iron Rose [Blu-ray].

Lips of Blood (1975): See description in DVD above. Buy Lips of Blood [Blu-ray].

The Nude Vampire (1970): See description in DVD above. Buy The Nude Vampire [Blu-ray].

Restless (2011):  In Gus van Sant’s latest, a boy obsessed with funerals (a la Harold in Harold and Maude) romances a girl with terminal cancer.  Also, his best friend is the ghost of a Japanese kamikaze pilot.  We chose to skip this bit of sentimental quirky magical realism when it briefly played in theaters, but it might make for an OK rental.  This offering is a DVD/Blu-ray combo pack. Buy Restless (Two-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo).

Shiver of the Vampires [Strange Things Happen at Night] (1971): See description in DVD above. Buy Shiver of the Vampires [Blu-ray].

Spellbound (1945):  The new psychiatrist (Gregory Peck) at a mental hospital has amnesia and may actually be crazier then any of the patients; a glacial female doctor (Ingrid Bergman) helps him work though his repressed memories to discover a horrifying secret.  So may of Hitchcock’s great movies tease us with near-weirdness; this flirtation is the director’s most serious, as Hitch actually hired Salvador Dalí to prepare the dream sequences. Buy Spellbound [Blu-ray].

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

Star Wars Uncut (2012): You may remember this project.  Hundreds of amateurs and semi-professionals were invited to recreate scenes from Star Wars: A New Hope (1977).  The resulting pastiche switches styles from one submission to another every 15 seconds, turning the completed movie into a disorientingly hilarious experience.  Contributions range from relatively sophisticated animations to textspeak iPhone transcripts to people acting out the scenes using their pets, and it features more hairy guys playing Princess Leia in drag than you’d ever want to see in one lifetime. Worth a watch.  Watch Star Wars Uncut on YouTube.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.