WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Don’t forget to vote for the Weirdcademy Awards!  Currently, surprise candidate Andy Lau (Detective Dee) is leading for Weirdest Actor; Leslie Pulsipher is rightfully running away with Weirdest Actress for being menaced by Muppets in The Oregonian; Melancholia‘s montage is barely beating The Oregonian‘s rainbow pee for Weirdest Scene; and The Tree of Life holds a slight edge for Weirdest Movie.  You can also watch all the candidates and vote for Weirdest Short Film of 2011; currently ‘s Snowballs leads, but it’s still anybody’s ballgame.

Next week we’ll dip into the reader-suggested review queue with a guest review of Ken Russell‘s shock-rock opera Tommy (1975); we’ll cover the Asian antiwar amputee sex flick Caterpillar (2010); and we’ll bring you a double-shot of Buñuel with the recently Criterionized Belle de Jour (1967) (Catherine Deneuve is a housewife with masochistic fantasies) and Simon of the Desert (1965) (about a saint who lives on a pillar).

We know why you’re reading this column.  It’s weird search terms you want, and it’s weird search terms you shall have.  We start off in porn corner, always a fertile source of deranged Google queries, with the search for “men licking awful porn.”  Speaking of awful porn, the following kink has to qualify as the least erotic fetish in all of sexuality: “sudicidal horse porn movie.”  We wonder if the first searcher would be satisfied seeing a picture of a man licking a DVD copy of the second movie.  Moving on to slightly less pornographic searches, we have to admit to being amused to see a quest to find that truly obscure film, “they saved hitler’s vagina.”  But this is a family website, and we can’t award our Weirdest Search Term of the Week to such perverted entries, however bizarre they might be.  Therefore, we award our weekly prize to the guy looking for info on “how do i use noir orangutan pills.”   Well played, sir!

Here’s the ridiculously long and ever growing reader-suggested review queue (as always, many more titles after the break): Tommy (next week!); The Bride of Frank; La Grande Bouffe; Hedwig and the Angry Inch; Even Dwarves Started Small;  “My Wrongs 8245-8249 and 117″; Freaked Schizopolis; Strings; Dellamorte Dellamore [AKA Cemetery Man]; The Hour-glass Sanatorium [Saanatorium pod klepsidra] (turns out this is out of print in north America, but we’ll keep looking); Liquid Sky (re-review);  The Quiet; Shock Treatment; Tuvalu; “Zombie Jesus”  (if we can locate it); The Bed-Sitting Room; 3 Dev AdamFantastic Planet; “Twin Peaks” (TV series); SocietyMay; The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th  Dimension; Little Otik; Final ProgrammeCareful; Sweet Movie; The Triplets of Belleville;  “Foutaises” (short); Johnny Suede; The Tale  of the Floating World, Un Chien Andalou, Bloodsucking  Freaks; Fellini Satyricon; Three Crowns of the Sailor8 1/2; Dororo; Lost Highway; Valerie and Her Week  of Wonders; Dogville; Julien Donkey-boy; AmelieThe Ten; The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; 1; Fast, Cheap and Out of Control; Tokyo Gore Police; At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul; The Trial [Le procès) (1962); MarquisHell Comes to FrogtownSeom [The  Isle]; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Lust in the Dust; Celine and Julie Go Boating;  “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” The Magic Christian; Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T; Abnormal: The Sinema of Nick Zedd; Robot Monster; Nightdreams; 3  Women; “To Oblivion”; Rubin & Ed; TeethVera; Weirdsville; Prospero’s BooksInferno; Garden State; Persona; The Real McCoy; Rat Pfink a Boo Boo; Themroc; Candy (1968); Run Lola Run; Pink Flamingos; Buffalo ’66Northfork; Weekend; The Room; Glen or Glenda?; Night of the Hunter; The Fox FamilyMidnight Skater; Angelus; Cloudy with a Chance of  Meatballs; Twister (1989); Yokai Monsters, Vol. 1: Spook Warfare [AKA Big Monster War]; Britannia Hospital; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; Piano Tuner of Earthquakes; Clean, Shaven; Bubba Ho-Tep; Sheitan; Innocence; “Chingsao the Clown”; Léolo; 2001: A Space Odyssey; Blue VelvetID (2005); Master of the Flying Guillotine; Yesterday Was a Lie; The Ninth Configuration; Love Me If You DareForbidden Zone; The Cell; My Dinner with AndreThe Illustrated ManFando y Lis; Rampo Noir; Head; Christmas on Mars; “Broken Glass”; Videodrome; Air Doll; The Ossuary and Other Tales; Arrebato; Symbol; Wicked City (1992  live action); Barbarella; Picnic at Hanging Rock; The Cars that Ate Paris; The Boxer’s Omen [aka Mo];  Portrait of Jennie; Salo, the 120 Days of  Sodom; The Last Sunset (1961); Orpheus (1950); A Scanner Darkly; Safe; The Atrocity Exhibition; Slacker; Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell; Color of Pomegranates; Horror Express; Noroi; Cutie Honey; The Shape of Things; On the Silver Globe; Monty Python and the Holy Grail; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; 2012 Aficionado DVD Zine Issue #0; The Last Days of Planet Earth;  “Charleston Parade”; Tales from the Quadead Zone; A Snake of  June; The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover; The Neverending Story; Cat Soup; Jack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); Drowning by Numbers; Fudge 44; From Beyond; The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle MeatMeet the Hollowheads; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Grendel GrendelEyes Wide Shut; Twilight of the Cockroaches; The Ruling Class; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia];  The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie; Daisies; Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); Parents; Dark City; Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters; 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil DollMultiple Maniacs; Phantasm IV; and Vermilion Souls (2007) (depending on availability); Lovers on the Bridge; No Smoking (2007); Reflections of Evil; The War Zone; Gahjini; Natural Born Killers; The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb; One Eyed Monster; Reflections of Evil; Natural Born Killers; The Fountain; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); Wool 100%; Murder Party; The Annunciation (1984); Funeral Parade of Roses; Stroszek; Primer; Bad Taste; Aguirre, the Wrath of God; Audition; The Fall; Me and You and Everyone We Know; Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; “Serial Experiments: Lain” (TV show); Darc Arc; Russian Ark; Genius Party; Watership Down; Tampopo; Goodbye Uncle Tom; The Idiots; Repo Man; Der Todersking [The Death King]; Titicut Follies; Mr. Nobody; The Shout; Rubber (this will probably jump in line and be reviewed early as a new release); “Premium” (depending on availability); Sleepaway Camp; The Pit (1981); Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams; The Falls; Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; Perfect Blue; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; The Bothersome Man; Moebius; Skeletons; Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song; The Brave Little Toaster; The Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Meet the Feebles; The Adventures of Mark Twain; Tourist Trap (1979); Thundercrack!; SLC Punk; Anguish (1987); Buddy Boy (1999); Bliss (1986); La cicatrice intérieure; Avida (2006); Brain Damage; Amazon Women on the Moon; Chronopolis; Blue (1993); Metropia; Zachariah; Labyrinth; Battle in Heaven; The Taste of Tea; Evil Ed; I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse; Cafe Flesh; Buffet Froid; Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam [AKA Turkish Star Wars]; Rubber’s Lover; The Signal; “Alma” (short); The Double Life of Veronique;  “Chick”, Felidae; Spirited Away; Decasia (2002); Killdozer I (heart) HuckabeesElectric Dragon 80,000 VSanta Claus (1959); Strange Circus; Mad Detective; Wild at Heart; Revolver; The Tenant; A Zed and Two Noughts; Litan (1982) (depending on availability); Dark Waters; La Razon de Mi Vida (pending English language DVD release); The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea; Bernie (1996) ( depending on availability); The Ruling Class; Tank Girl; Things (1989); Hair Extensions; Haggard; Svidd neger (depending on availability); RoboGeisha; Schramm; Executive KoalaCoonskin; Time Masters; Hard Candy; Waiting for Godot (2001); Crash (1996); La Dolce Vita; La Cravate; Spirits of the Air, Gremlins of the Clouds (depending on availability); Last Year in Marienbad; Alphaville; Savages; Big River Man; This Must Be the Place; Heart of Glass; Little Deaths; Akira; L’Ange; La Teta y La Luna; FinisterraeThe Adventures of Baron Muchausen; L’Âge d’or; Breakfast of Champions; Heavenly Creatures; Vase de Noces; Lucky; Ichi the Killer; La antena; Mystics in Bali; Feherlofia; Versus; “Meshes of the Afternoon”; Birth of the OverfiendA Dog Called PainThe Bed Sitting RoomMemento Mori; That Deadwood Feeling; Happiness; Let the Right One In; Porcile [AKA Pigpen]; Lisa and the Devil; Django, Kill!; Underground; Caligula; Hotel (2004); Hardgore; Survive Style 5+FantasiaPhilosophy of a KnifeThe Last Movie; Lord Love a Duck; Amarcord; The Swimmer (official re-review); I Married a Strange Person; Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale; The Canadian Films of Paul Driessen; And The Ship Sails On; Mondo Trasho; Teorema; Marat/SadeDarjeeling Limited; Casino Royale; The Phantom of Liberty; Space Thang; Institute Benjamenta, or This Dream People Call Human Life; Drunken Wu Tang; Insidious (2010); The Earl Sessions (2011); Sitcom; They Came Back, Prometheus’ Garden, “Harpya”; Bruce Lee vs. Gay Power; Dumplings; and Attenberg.

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