AND THE WINNER IS…

The results of the 2011/2012 Weirdcademy Awards are in, and you, the weird movie voting public, have selected the following honorees as your favorites:

Weirdest Short Film: “Snowballs,” dir. Harmony Korine.

Weirdest Scene: The “rainbow pee” sequence from The Oregonian

Weirdest Actor: Steve Little, The Catechism Cataclysm

Weirdest Actress: Amy Groening, Father’s Day

And… drum roll…

Weirdest Picture: Father’s Day

A full breakdown of all the votes can be found here. Thanks to all members of the Weirdcademy who participated, and be sure to stick around; the 2012 races are just heating up. Winners, your Cesare statuettes may, or may not, be in the mail…

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Don’t forget that this Wednesday is Leap Day, the weirdest day on the calendar and the reason why this project is called 366 Weird Movies rather than 365 Weird Movies.  Why not take a day off work and celebrate by watching Eraserhead? (We have ballot initiatives out there trying to get Leap Day declared a municipal holiday, but so far we have only been successful in the Northwest Territories of Canada.  In four years, however, we feel pretty confident that the festivities will be universally recognized, so you can start making your travel plans for Feb. 29, 2016 now).

Here’s what’s on tap for next week: we’ll look at Wim Wenders 3-D avant-garde dance documentary Pina (2011), take a stroll through Steven Sorderbergh’s Schizopolis (1996), and Alfred will remind himself why he hates mainstream Hollywood films when he treks to the theater to see Nic Cage ham it up in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. We’re down to two possibilities for a bonus review: either the Japanese B-import Yakuza Weapon (2011) or 1972’s The Iron Rose [La Rose de Fer], another from Redemption Films’ 2012 dump.

It wasn’t a great week for weird search terms, but as always there’s some scary craziness out there to pass along to you. We start with “litl people traped in boobis,” which we’re assuming is shorthand for the far more sensible “little people trapped in boobies.” Sticking with the boobie theme, we note the strangeness of  search for a “freaky kid who loved the taste of his mother’s boobies in a certain italian zombie film,” despite the fact that this query almost certainly refers to a real movie. More suspect is the question of whether there really is a “beach jesus midget horror” movie (if there were, we’d like to think we knew about it). But nothing we saw this week beats the bemusement generated by our Weirdest Search Term of the Week, “why is festive golden hyperbolic occurrence of black male rapist”? Don’t try to answer that, it’s a rhetorical question.

We’ve cut the reader-suggested review queue down by one more entry (yay!); we noticed we’ve been listing The Quiet as an upcoming review for months when we actually reviewed it way back in May of last year. That subtraction makes things look a little more manageable, doesn’t it? Here’s the corrected queue: Schizopolis (next week!); Hedwig and the Angry Inch; Even Dwarves Started Small;  “My Wrongs 8245-8249 and 117″; Freaked;  Strings; Dellamorte Dellamore [AKA Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 2/24/2012

A look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

DOGGIEWOGGIEZ! POOCHIEWOOCHIEZ! (2012): A found-footage feature film montage from the guys at Everything is Terrible, consisting entirely of clips featuring dogs (more than 2,000 of them, apparently). According to the advertising, it’s also–in some sense we can’t quite wrap our heads around—a remake of The Holy Mountain. Not really appearing in theaters, but rather on tour screening for one night only in various seedy bars and disreputable nightclubs across the US and Canada, through April.  Check the Everything is Terrible website for dates near you, or you can purchase the DVD from them directly.

FILM FESTIVALS: FANTASPORTO (Oporto, Portugal, Feb 24 – Mar 3):

Fantasporto has become one of our favorite film festivals, since three of their grand prize winners (Toto the Hero, Pan’s Labyrinth and Idiots and Angels) have gone on to be Certified Weird (with more to come). With that track record, we consider Fantasporto an excellent predictor of what we’ll be focusing on in the coming months; of all the world’s major festivals, these guys take the offbeat most seriously. Heck, this year’s featured retrospectives are the films of Alain Robbe Grillet, shown alongside the oeuvre of Ed Wood; how much more simpatico with our tastes could they get? Here are some of the flicks we’d make it a point to check out, if we could only get out to Portugal:

  • The Bunny Game – B&W experimental shocksploitation about a prostitute named “Bunny” picked up and ritualistically tortured and humiliated by a trucker named “Hog.”
  • Chinese Take-Away [Un Cuento Chino] – Quirky culture clash dramedy about an irritable Argentinian who reluctantly takes a Chinese immigrant under his wing; features a cow falling from the sky.
  • Gandu – The life of a young man who lives with his mother—a kept woman—becomes increasingly hallucinatory as he experiments with drugs, pornography and rap music in an attempt to find meaning in his life. A rare slice of surrealism from the Indian subcontinent, decidedly un-Bollywood.
  • Guilty of Romance – Provocateur is back with another might-be-weird transgression: a “true crime” policier that involves three middle-class women playing dangerous sadomasochistic games.
  • Keyhole – The latest Guy Maddin film stars Jason Patric as Ulysses, a gangster on the run, journeying through his labyrinthine house trying to find his wife ().
  • Kill List – A psychologically scarred hit man agrees to the proverbial “one last mission” and finds it ironically horrifying.
  • Meat – Surreal/absurd Dutch black comedy revolving around a perverted butcher.
  • The Theater Bizarre –  A six-film horror anthology from directors Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, , Tom Savini, and .  Apparently Hussain’s segment is surreal.
  • This Must Be the Place – Here’s a truly odd premise for a comedy: a retired goth-rock star hunts the Nazi who persecuted his father at Auschwitz.  Starring Sean Penn, of all people, as the laconic, androgynous angel of vengeance.
  • Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead – We’d probably skip this scatological zom-com, except that, since it’s from the director of The Machine Girl and RoboGeisha, our readers would demand we report on it.

NEW ON DVD:

Bad Actress (2011): Black satire about a has-been TV actress who finds that personal tragedy leads to career success. It took director Robert Lee King a dozen years to make this follow-up to his minor cult hit Psycho Beach Party. Buy Bad Actress.

Blank City (2011):  Documentary on the “no wave” Super-8 experimental film movement in New York City in the late 1970s/early 1980s exemplified by Nick Zedd, Richard Kern, Lydia Lunch, etc., along with a couple of characters who emerged from the underground into the (relative) mainstream: Jim Jarmusch and Steve Buscemi.  With lots of archival footage and the inevitable commentary from John Waters. Buy Blank City.

Track 29 (1988): A woman whose husband is obsessed with model trains starts a relationship with hitchhiker claiming to be her long-lost son. Image Entertainment quietly re-releases this Nicolas Roeg surrealist flop: the star power of Teresa Russell, Christopher Lloyd and a young Gary Oldman couldn’t help something this weird thrive at the box office. Buy Track 29.

Where The Dead Go To Die (2012): A talking dog takes neighborhood children on what’s described as a “surreal hell-ride.”  The box cover is surreally appealing, but we have our doubts about any film released by a director working under a ridiculous pseudonym (Jimmy ScreamerClauz?), and Unearthed Films does not exactly have the greatest track record (can we forgive them for Slaughtered Vomit Dolls yet)? Buy Where The Dead Go To Die.

World on a Wire (1973): Originally made for German television, this dystopian Rainer Werner Fassbinder story scooped the virtual reality storyline more than twenty-five years before The Matrix.  According to the press release, it’s a “satiric and surreal look at the weird world of tomorrow from one of cinema’s kinkiest geniuses.” A Criterion release. Buy World on a Wire (Criterion Collection).

NEW ON BLU-RAY:

Alien vs. Ninja (2012): Read our capsule review. A silly but entertaining little B-movie that delivers exactly what the title promises. This is a DVD/Blu-ray combo pack. Buy Alien vs. Ninja [Blu-ray/DVD Combo].

Blank City (2011): See description in DVD above. It’s a bit strange to consider a hi-def release detailing a movement with such lo-fi aspirations. Buy Blank City [Blu-ray].

Where The Dead Go To Die (2012): See description in DVD above. Buy Where The Dead Go To Die [Blu-ray].

World on a Wire (1973): See description in DVD above. Buy World on a Wire (Criterion Collection) [Blu-ray].

FREE ONLINE WEIRD MOVIES:

Race War: The Remake (2011): Read our capsule review. DWN productions, known more as mask-makers than filmmakers, are offering their politically incorrect Tromaesque blaxploitation comedy as a free download. Buy a DVD (or one of their masks) if you like it, won’t you? Download Race War: The Remake free from DWN productions.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

CAULDRON OF BLOOD (1970)

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* This is the fourth installment in the series “Karloff’s Bizarre and Final Six Pack.”

Santos Alcocer’s Cauldron of Blood (1970) (AKA Blind Man’s Bluff) was filmed in 1967, but languished on the shelf until its release three years later (to little fanfare, despite its potential marketing as one of horror icon ‘s last films). Where Curse of the Crimson Altar (1968) was a low-rent knock off of Black Sunday (1960), Cauldron is an equally low-rent rip of Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933) and House of Wax (1953).

Karloff co-stars with veteran (who is possibly best know as the queen who aroused Errol Flynn in 1948’s The Adventures of Don Juan). Cauldron was shot almost entirely in Spain, and is remembered only as an accidental idiosyncrasy from late in Karloff’s career.

Cauldron of Blood is not a good film, but it is a queer film, quite unlike anything else in the Karloff cannon, which may be explained by the fact that Karloff was not even the preferred choice for the role of the blind sculptor Badulescu. Producer Robert D. Weinbach had wanted Claude Rains, but Karloff was brought into the project after Rains was found to be terminally ill (Rains died during the pre-production stage of the film). Karloff is not even top-billed, which was an extreme and curious rarity.

The opening title sequence is a stylish hoot. A blonde bathing beauty is transformed into an animated skeleton, which then breaks up, forming the title (as in 1948’s Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein). This is followed by the bizarre jazz score of Ray Ellis (a sax player and prolific television composer) and psychedelic graphics, which lead into a beachside murder. The killer, wearing overcoat and gloves, erotically stalks his prey, making Cauldron of Blood a clear example of the giallo pulp genre films so influential during the period.

French sex symbol Jean-Pierre Aumont, as Claude, is in Spain to do a photo shoot of the famous blind sculptor Badulescu (Karloff, doing most of his scenes under a blanket, stuck in a wheelchair, wearing opaque goggles). Badulescu is cared for by his wife, Tania (Lindfors). Badulescu’s sculptures utilize the skeletons of animals as armatures, or so he believes. Actually, Tania and one of her male lovers are supplying the skeletons of young girls, which comes as no surprise at all to the viewer. Karloff makes the most of his brief screen time, judiciously delivering his sarcastic dialogue to his sadistic wife: “‘Till death do us part, I suppose.” Lindfors, as the crazed, bisexual S & M murderess, puts her ham meter into overdrive, stealing everything but the kitchen sink.

Still from Cauldron of Blood (1970)Spliced into this rehash of the wax museum plots are swinging party vignettes, unconvincing red herrings, and pop culture references galore. It’s much more subdued, and consequently duller, than it sounds. However, an out-of-synch diversion comes in the way of a surreal nightmare vignette with Lindfors haunted by psychedelic images of her hubby transformed into a shrunken head (replete with equally psychedelic scoring). Tania undergoes a transformation herself, as a whip-cracking femme Nazi leering after and stalking female victims. Among Tania’s obsessions is Claude’s gal pal Elga (Euro sex kitten Dyanik Zurakowska), and her stalking concludes with a near fatal encounter with a vat of acid (Lindfors and Zurakowska standing in for Lionel Atwill/Fay Wray.)

A masked ball (don’t ask) leads to exposure and a 60s fight scene straight out of Adam West’s “Batman” (only lacking a KA-POW!) The inevitable full-moon showdown between Boris and Viveca is anti-climatic.

Despite an overly familiar plot and noticeably low budget, Cauldron of Blood nearly shows potential through sheer style alone, and as a period curio with weird performances by Lindfors and Karloff. Inevitably, it’s too much of a mess to hit the mark, but it gets some credit for an honest attempt to create its own flavor. It is certainly preferable to some of the recent big budget, assembly-line Hollywood garbage (e.g. Ghost Rider, Spirit of Vengeance).

Cauldron Of Blood is out of print and has never been released on DVD in Region 1. It is available on a Region 0 DVD (buy) if you have a PAL or multisystem DVD player.

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