CAPSULE: ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK (1972)

Recommended

DIRECTED BY: Sergio Martino

FEATURING: , George Hilton, Ivan Rassimov, Nieves Navarro, Dominique Boschero, Carla Mancini

PLOT: Jane, a young lady haunted by her mother’s murder and her own traumatic miscarriage, seeks solace but ends up being sucked into a local Satanic cult; her problems then worsen.

Still from All the Colors of the Dark (1972)

WHY IT WON’T MAKE THE LIST: While All the Colors of the Dark is a tasty ham of a thriller and peer to the top films in that genre, it doesn’t get any weirder than it has to be to tell its story—which is actually a straightforward story, right down to its dream sequences and some comparatively tame Satanic rituals. Other reviews of this movie confuse “psychedelic” with “using a diffraction camera filter for a couple scenes.” If anything, Colors apes Alfred Hitchcock at his most spartan. A great thriller, but we watch weirder Italian movies around here before our first Chianti of the day.

COMMENTS: Hi, I’m Giallo Man! I saw the Giallo Signal in the sky and got here as soon as I could. Gotta tell you, I am so heavy into the giallo, I mainline it off the nightstand. If one of those Twilight Zone episodes came along where a character gets to wish themselves into a movie forever, I’d probably pick a giallo. And what a choice plum we have here! All the Colors of the Dark comes with a keen pedigree, directed by Sergio Martino, whose name you may recognize from The Mountain of the Cannibal God (1978) or perhaps Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key (1972)(#WhatATitle). That latter movie also shares the lead actress Edwige Fenech, whom you might recognize from Strip Nude for Your Killer (1975). That’s before we get to garlic-bread-and-spaghetti western star George Hilton, a supporting cast which reads like a compilation of names from the best of Italian genre films, and filmed-in-England cinematography that could make the cover of an early Black Sabbath album. But best of all is the vintage year of 1972. The Exorcist came out in 1973, so that makes this one occult Euro-horror movie that’s guaranteed not to be a cheap Exorcist knockoff—because it wasn’t even released yet! It doesn’t even kiss much of the dirt that Rosemary’s Baby (1968) trod. I’m almost too excited to watch this.

After a lurid opening nightmare sequence with a blue-eyed stabbing killer in a beige trenchcoat—what, no black gloves?—we meet Jane, who has recently suffered a prematurely terminated pregnancy in a car crash. She lives in a London flat with her boyfriend Richard, who fusses over her while she is plagued by trauma from both this event and nightmares of her mother’s death when she was a child. Jane’s sister Barbara urges her to see a shrink, who is, you guessed it, not much help. The blue-eyed stabber from her nightmares stalks her every waking moment—but is she hallucinating? Jane, towing this head full of psychological baggage, meets her new neighbor, Mary, and the two become fast friends, while Richard and Barbara meet Continue reading CAPSULE: ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK (1972) →

MARCH MAD MOVIE MADNESS TOURNAMENT, ROUND OF 128 (PART 2)

The grand March Mad Movie Madness tournament marches on, with another 32 contests starting today. This round will cut the field down from 128 to 64.

There will be hard choices, but remember: the losers in this round will still finish in the top half of all the 366 Canonically Weird movies.

The big news in this round are vs. Charlie Kaufman (as Being John Malkovich faces Synecdoche, New York) and Buñuel vs. Buñuel (for weird nerds, Un Chien Andalou vs. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie is a Surrealism vs. Neosurrealism grudge match). If you’re looking for even more drama, there’s a classic early vs. vs battle as Eraserhead squares off against A Clockwork Orange (!) WIll Alex du Large be able to muster some of the old ultraviolence against “Heavenly” Henry Spencer?

You can see the results and progress of the tournament here: https://challonge.com/tsut4018 (note that this link is just for viewing results. You must vote using the forms below.)

Vote on part 1 of the round of  128 here. (Closes March 22).

You may vote once every 24 hours. This round closes at midnight, EST March 23.

Get to voting below!

Continue reading MARCH MAD MOVIE MADNESS TOURNAMENT, ROUND OF 128 (PART 2) →

MARCH MAD MOVIE MADNESS TOURNAMENT, ROUND OF 128 (PART 1)

And we’re back! The grand March Mad Movie Madness tournament marches on, with another 32 contests starting today. This round will cut the field down from 128 to 64.

There will be hard choices, but remember: the losers in this round will still finish in the top half of all the 366 Canonically Weird movies.

Spotlighted matches in this round: Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (1983) vs. Spirited Away (2001) (two very well-known movies that are not “traditionally” weird; could set up a with Howl’s Moving Castle grudge match in the next round); Repulsion vs. Last Year at Marienbad (this could be a 1960s black and white art movie championship game); It’s Such a Beautiful Day vs. The Hourglass Sanatorium (two very different, but equally obscure, movies; we have no idea whether stick-figure animation will beat Polish Surrealism).

You can see the results and progress of the tournament here: https://challonge.com/tsut4018 (note that this link is just for viewing results. You must vote using the forms below.)

You may vote once every 24 hours. This round closes at midnight, EST March 22.

We’ll start the second part of the round of 128 tomorrow. March 19, and close voting on the 23rd.

Get to voting below!

Continue reading MARCH MAD MOVIE MADNESS TOURNAMENT, ROUND OF 128 (PART 1) →

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 3/15/2019

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Knife + Heart (2018): A producer of gay porn films becomes obsessed with recreating a series of murders in hopes of winning back her lesbian lover. From , this queer slasher/giallo pic sounds fairly unclassifiable, with strong hints of weirdness. Knife + Heart U.S. distributor site.

Starfish (2019): Read our review! A slow rollout for this metaphorical psychological horror about a woman facing the apocalypse alone begins this week with a couple of dates in NYC, with scattered screenings across the country. Starfish official site.

NEW ON HOME VIDEO:

Piercing (2018): A man plots to thrill-kill an escort, but she turns the tables as things turn surreal. Starring Christopher Abbot and and directed by Nicolas “Eyes of My Mother” Pesce, (adapting a Ryû “Audition” Murakami novel), this one almost escaped our notice, but we’re planning on nabbing a review. On DVD, Blu-ray and VOD. Buy Piercing

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CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

FREE MOVIES ON TUBI.TV:

Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010): Read the Canonically Weird entry! Explore the mysteries of the sinister, New Age-y Arboria Institute in ‘ psychedelic debut film. Watch Beyond the Black Rainbow free on Tubi.tv.

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE: The March Mad Movie Madness tournament will kick into another round next week as we will winnow the field from 128 weird movies all the way down to a manageable 64 contestants, and even start to take it down to 32. In the midst of all that voting and tallying, we’ll continue bringing you reviews: Pete Trbovich goes giallo for All the Colors of the Dark (1972), Shane Wilson raids the old reader-suggested review queue for the 80s campfest The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak, and Giles Edwards looks at the “other” weird movie of 2018, the overlooked Between Worlds. Onward and weirdward!

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

Celebrating the cinematically surreal, bizarre, cult, oddball, fantastique, strange, psychedelic, and the just plain WEIRD!