Category Archives: Miscellanea

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 5/4/2017

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Altered Perception (2018): Volunteers for a trial medication that promises to cure false perceptions find themselves instead addicted to a psychedelic drug that causes psychosis. With a title like that, it better have some great hallucination scenes. Altered Perception official site.

The Cleanse (2018): An unemployed man lands at a retreat where he undergoes a “cleanse” therapy, which involves drinking foul brews and vomiting up min-monsters. The L.A. Times‘ Gary Goldstein called it “one short, strange trip…” The Cleanse official site.

Jeanette: The Childhood of Joan of Arc (2017): ‘s rock opera about young Joan D’Arc finally arrives in limited release in the U.S. Who doesn’t want to see medieval nuns voguing? Jeanette: The Childhood of Joan of Arc U.S. distributor site.

FILM FESTIVALS – Cannes Film Festival (Cannes. France, 5/8-5/19):

Cannes is an odd duck. Not known as a “weird-friendly” festival—movies like ‘s Crash and Antichrist have been famously hooted at by Cannes crowds who were having none of that—it aims to flatter the mainstream arthouse crowd with middle-of-the-road dramas (and, rarely, dramadies, so long as they are not too funny to be taken seriously). Cannes programmers revel in the dry, the conventional, and the pompous; Cannes’ juries’ tastes resemble those of Academy Awards voters, but with an even higher premium placed on boringness. Still, one or two movies worth looking at always seem to find their way onto the card, and 2018 is particularly rich. Many years, a Cannes debut will end up Certified Weird: three films in the past six years, including, most recently, 2012’s Holy Motors. Movies at Cannes may either be screened “in competition” for the big prize, the Palm D’or; screen out-of-competition; or be entered in the “Un Certain Regard” section (a sort of also-ran competition for films that are either from first time directors, or are considered too daring or different to have a shot at the Palme d’Or). Recently, many filmmakers have been debuting their films in the parallel festival called Directors’ Fortnight, which runs contemporaneous to Cannes proper but does not hand out awards for individual films. (‘ surreal supernatural revenge drama Mandy, which debuted at Sundance, will play there).

Here’s what we would be keeping tabs on if we were in France next week:

  • The House That Jack Built – We question how weird it will be, but ‘s serial killer pic is one of the most buzzed-about titles at Cannes, and does feature a mysterious entity called “the Verge” who dialogues with a murderous Matt Dillon. Out of competition.
  • Lazzaro Felice [Happy as Lazzaro] – Hard to figure out what this Italian movie is about, but the synopsis suggests intriguing characters like a time-traveler and a ruler known as the “Queen of Cigarettes.” In competition.
  • Le Livre du Image [Image Book] – We haven’t been the biggest fans of his late work, but always demands attention; he describes this one as “like a bad dream written on a stormy night.” In competition.
  • The Man Who Killed Don Quixote – ‘s ill-fated Quixote variation, 20 years in the making and still under a legal cloud, is possibly the most anticipated debut at Cannes. Out of competition.
  • Muere, Monstruo, Muere [Murder Me, Monster] – A beheading leads an investigator to develop a strange conspiracy theory. Un Certain Regard.
  • Under the Silver Lake – A young man goes on a “surreal quest” through Los Angeles to find a mysterious missing girl; from the director of the indie horror it It Follows. In competition.

Cannes Film Festival official site.

NEW ON HOME VIDEO:

The Cleanse (2018): See description in “Limited Release” above. Like many indies nowadays, this film is also available for VOD purchase the day it hits theaters. Buy The Cleanse on-demand.

Kaleidoscope (2016): Psychological thriller in which a recently-released prisoner finds his domineering mother is interfering with his ability to reintegrate into society. The second feature from Rupert Jones (brother of Kaleidoscope‘s star, veteran character actor Toby Jones); his first was an opera (2013’s The Answer to Everything) cast with homeless people. On DVD, Blu-ray, and VOD. Buy Kaleidoscope.

CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 4/27/2018

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

NEW ON HOME VIDEO:

Dead Man (1995): Read the Certified Weird review! Jim Jarmusch‘s moody western about Nobody and William Blake gets the Criterion Collection treatment, with a host of new interviews, features, behind the scenes performances, and deleted scenes for uberfans. On DVD and Blu-ray. Buy Dead Man.

Moon Child (1989): A parapsychological cult believes they may have found the prophesied “moon child” in a 12-year old orphan. From , with a score by Dead Can Dance.  Blu-ray/DVD combo pack from Cult Epics. Review coming soon. Buy Moon Child.

CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

FREE WEIRD MOVIES ON TUBI.TV:

The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made: A glorified YouTube upload posing as a one-hour feature film, but an interesting set of clips, nevertheless. At least three of these selections are Certified Weird, many others are reviewed here, and, as is usually the case with these kinds of lists, not all of them are actually bad—just beyond the curator’s expectations of what a movie “should” be. Watch The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made free on Tubi.TV.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 38 more movies to Certify Weird!

Next week, Alfred Eaker continues his series on the great (and sometimes weird) with 1968’s existential war parable Shame. Pete Trbovich and Shane Wilson will address some of the items lingering in that massive reader-suggested queue with reviews of the hypnotic horror Anguish and the sketchy B-movie spoof Amazon Women on the Moon, respectively (both clicks are from 1987, by coincidence). Finally, G. Smalley will complete our coverage of ‘s “Orphic” trilogy with a look at the cinematic poet’s final effort, The Testament of Orpheus (1960).

We’re sure you’re tired of hearing us tell you about how Google’s damnable privacy settings are preventing us from seeing 95% of the search terms people use to find this site, thereby impeding our review of the weirdest search terms of the week. Everybody’s a fan of privacy in principle, but no one thinks of the unintended impacts to weird search term research. At any rate, we had so few strange candidates to report this week that we’re reduced to reporting on a repeat of an exceptionally odd one: “peeping 40 animals porn movie.com” (that’s right, this searcher somehow failed to find an acceptable peeping 40 animals porn movie site last week, so he continued his search this week). Other than that, what have we got? Well, there’s someone’s quest to find “poleshsex” (?) Good luck. Fortunately, we did see one fresh candidate that merited the title of Weirdest Search Term of the Week: “the man came down from the mountain and saw a man with a sword this mans name was terry he had a giant sqord he called the king.” Nice story, bro. Remember, turn those privacy filters off when searching for weird movies!

Here’s how the aforementioned ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Anguish (1987) (next week!); Amazon Women on the Moon (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; I Am Here Now; Sir Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 4/20/2018

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Imitation Girl (2018): An alien () takes the form of an adult film star. We’ve been waiting for the talented Carter to have a breakout performance, and this one’s been getting good reviews and appears to have echoes of Under the Skin. Imitation Girl official site.

Vampire Clay (2017): Haunted modeling clay sculpts itself into vampires that prey on Japanese art school students. The ad copy asks the question, “can art be so bad that it kills?” Scattered screenings over the next few weeks in large cities and college towns. Vampire Clay official site.

FILM FESTIVALS – Tribeca Film Festival (New York City, Apr. 18-29):

Modern film festivals are trending towards more virtual reality exhibits and TV show premieres, and, in the race to stay relevant, no one has embraced this trend more than Tribeca. Unfortunately, that means less space for actual movies. There’s at least one Sundance repeat of interest (We the Animals) but here’s the new stuff we’ll be tracking in the future:

  • 7 Stages to Achieve Eternal Bliss by Passing Through the Gateway Chosen by the Holy Storsh – Black comedy about a couple whose bargain apartment comes with a catch: cultists continually break in to commit suicide in their bathtub. Screens 4/20-22, 28.
  • Braid – Drug-dealers on the lam stay at the mansion of an eccentric friend who forces them to play along with her make-believe world. 4/22-24, 28-29.
  • You Shall Not Sleep – An aspiring actress joins an experimental sleep deprivation program and begins to hallucinate. 4/20-21, 28.

Tribeca Film Festival home page.

NEW ON HOME VIDEO:

“Mystery Science Theater 3000: Season Eleven”: Read Shane Wilson’s season recap.  Even if you’re not a fan of the show, if you like (bad) weird movies you may want to know about the existence of the Bigfoot buddy flick Cry Wilderness and the talking chimp of the dreary Carnival Magic. On DVD or Blu-ray. Buy “Mystery Science Theater 3000: Season Eleven”

Vampire Clay: See description in “Limited Release” above. If you can’t find this on the big screen (and you probably can’t), it’s simultaneously available on demand.

CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 4/11/2018

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Sign Gene (2017): Like the X-Men, but all the mutants are deaf and get their superpowers through using sign language. A Deafula for our times? No word if it comes with subtitles for the hearing. Sign Gene official site.

CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

FREE MOVIES ON TUBI.TV:

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002): Read the Certified Weird review. Elvis and the black JFK fight a mummy who’s infiltrated their retirement home. You read that right. Watch Bubba Ho-Tep free on Tubi.TV.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.