A look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Battle Royale 3D (2000): Read our capsule review. American distributor Anchor Bay already rereleased the 2D Japanese kid-death tournament thriller earlier this year to cash in on its similarity to the blockbuster The Hunger Games; they’re milking the cow further with this 3D conversion (which already screened in the US in 2010). No official site so we’re not sure exactly where it’s playing and when, except that we know it’s at the IFC Center in Manhattan.

FILM FESTIVALS: CANNES (Part 2) (Cannes, France May 16 – 27)

The Paperboy (2012): A reporter investigates a death row case; somehow, this causes Nicole Kidman and John Cusack to have psychic sex (?) We’re cautiously adding this one to our watchlist after Stephen Garrett of the New York Observer called it an “off the rails… nut-bar melodrama” in an article encouragingly called Cannes Gets Weird. Of course, Garret offers Walter Salles’ adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s On the Road as evidence of Cannes “getting weird,” which is actually evidence of why critics who aren’t licensed by the Weirdcademy shouldn’t go around declaring stuff weird. Here’s the rest of our 2012 Cannes watchlist.

IN DEVELOPMENT:

Frankenpimp’s Revenge: The Romeo and Juliet Massacre (est. 2014): Tony Watt returns to his Frankenpimp roots with this second entry in a planned trilogy; this script brings in both Romeo and Juliet and Dracula. The original Frankenpimp was an unwatchable three hours long; Watts’ next two movies each ran for two and a half hours. We’re praying this one will be edited down to under two hours, but we’re not sure there is a “cutting room floor” in a Tony Watt production. Frankenpimp’s Revenge: The Romeo and Juliet Massacre at IMDB.

NEW ON DVD:

Certified Copy (2010): A woman (Juliette Binoche) takes an author (William Shimell) out for a tour of Tuscany; both characters change personalities and become entirely different people by the film’s end. Mysterious but uninvolving arthouse hit. Buy Certified Copy (Criterion Collection).

Cowboy Bebop (2001)/American Pop (1981) Double Feature: Read our Cowboy Bebop review. What an odd pairing: a relatively recent sci-fi anime feature and a three-decades old pop-music historical drama that just happens to be rotoscoped. The only thing the two movies have in common is that they’re animated and end in “op,” but if you happen to like both, the disc is a good deal. Buy Cowboy Bebop / American Pop Double Feature.

Gums (1976): An XXX parody of Jaws wherein mermaid Terri Hall performs fatal fellatio on seafarers. The weird part is the movie “stars” insane performance artist and “stand-up tragedian” Brother Theodore as “Captain Carl Clitoris.” This is one of the strangest items we’ve ever seen offered on Amazon . We’re not sure if this is the uncut hardcore sex version—though ever since we bought Aphrodisiac! from them, we’re positive Amazon isn’t above selling hardcore porn—so buyer beware. Buy Gums.

Mutant Girls Squad (2010): On her 16th birthday a schoolgirl discovers she’s a mutant when she spontaneously spouts a knife from her hand; she gathers more of her kind to take over Japan. More post-Tetsuo machine-mutant madness from the usual splatterpunk suspects. Buy Mutant Girls Squad.

A Serbian Film (2010) (“Uncut”): Read our review. This notorious shock flick was previously unavailable in Region 1 (via legitimate channels) in uncut form; at this writing Amazon is showing it as “out of stock” (did fans buy up all the copies thinking it might be pulled, or was it pulled?) You can check availability through the “buy” link. Buy A Serbian Film (Uncut).

Surreal Sicko (2012?): We had to mention this movie with a vague plot description about a rapist who tries to blame his crimes on a schizophrenic just because of the title (‘s a real sicko—get it?) No director was credited in the product listing but research reveals that this is the work of unknown but somehow annoying microbudget auteur Bill Zebub. Because it’s from Zebub, we’re suspicious that this might be another retitled rerelease of one of his older movies: Skits-o-Phrenia (similar title strategy) or The Crucifier (shares at least two common cast members) seem like likely possibilities. Buy Surreal Sicko.

“Up All Night with Robert Downey Sr.” (Eclipse Series 33): Wow, is Criterion’s “Eclipse” series nailing the weird lately: first there was “Pearls of the Czech New Wave” (which we’re still sifting through), and hot on those bizarre heels comes this even stranger set from the underground auteur behind the Certified Weird Greaser’s Palace.  The set includes five counterculture provocations: Babo 73, Chafed Elbows, No More Excuses, the relatively famous Putney Swope, and the (never before seen?) Two Tons of Turquoise to Taos Tonight. We’re taking bets on how many of these will be certified weird (the over/under is 1.5). Buy “Eclipse Series 33: Up All Night with Robert Downey Sr.”

NEW ON BLU-RAY:

Castle in the Sky (1986): A boy and girl search for a floating castle in Hayao Miyazaki‘s third animated feature. This Disney upgrade to Blu-ray comes with a complementary DVD copy of the movie. Buy Castle in the Sky (Blu-ray/DVD Combo).

Certified Copy (2010): See description in DVD above. Buy Certified Copy (The Criterion Collection) [Blu-ray].

Mutant Girls Squad (2010): See description in DVD above. This is a Blu-ray/DVD combo pack and at the time of this writing the combo was only one penny more than the DVD itself (prices, of course, are subject to change). Buy Mutant Girls Squad [DVD/Blu-ray Combo].

Whisper of the Heart (1995):  A teenage girl finds that the stories she’s writing about a dapper cat named “the baron” are coming true; a Japanese rendition of John Denver’s “Country Roads” plays a part in the plot. A Studio Ghibli effort written and produced (but not directed) by Hayao Miyazaki; like Castle in the Sky, it comes in a DVD/Blu-ray combo pack. Buy Whisper of the Heart (Blu-ray/DVD Combo).

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

Moon (2009): Read our capsule review. Not so weird, but the 2001-style lunar loneliness may get under your skin as you watch space miner Sam Rockwell go insane on the moon. Watch Moon free on YouTube.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

We were so fearful of Dark Shadows, Tim Burton‘s latest Gothic comedy, that we farmed out the review assignment to poor sucker—I mean, trusted industry professional—James Mannan for comment. Meanwhile, our staff is staying away from Hollywood summer blockbusters and focusing our energy on weird world classics, starting with the 1966 Czech New Wave omnibus film Pearls of the Deep, which includes a couple of surreal segments and a couple of entries by directors whose work should end up represented on the List. We’ll also dig into the reader-suggested review queue for Cemetery Man [AKA Dellamorte Dellamore], the world’s only arthouse surrealist Italian zombie gore movie, and maybe even bring you coverage of some surprise deep-catalog vintage exploitation films.

It wasn’t a banner week for weird search terms—summer blockbuster malaise must be infecting Google—but we always see something strange in our server logs to pass along to you. We’ll start with the quest for info about a “thai movie she as hot boob and was killing his king” (Google suggests this searcher might have meant “thai movie she is hot boob and was killing his king,” which is really not as helpful as the Googlebot thinks). There’s also the mind-boggling request for “www.empty libido in alex movies.com” (turns out that domain name is still available!) It’s not weird enough to win, but we just can’t pass up passing along this search we thought we’d never see: “mullets for preteen girls.” For our Weirdest Search Term of the Week award, we’re going to go with the elegantly simple, but still incomprehensible search for “plasticity her panties.”

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Dellamorte Dellamore [AKA Cemetery Man] (next week!); “My Wrongs 8245-8249 and 117″; The Hour-glass Sanatorium [Saanatorium pod klepsidra] (out of print in Region 1, but we’ll keep looking); Liquid Sky (re-review); 3 Dev Adam; Fantastic Planet; “Twin Peaks” (TV series); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →

A look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

American Animal (2011): Jimmy and James, two twenty-something trust-fund babies, live together in relative luxury, but unbalanced Jimmy becomes increasingly deranged when bookish James explains that he’s decided to grow up and get a job. Over and over, reviewers have used the word “bizarre” to describe it. We prematurely announced this was opening back in March, but this time we really mean it—for New Yorkers, at least. American Animal official site.

Beyond the Black Rainbow (2011): Surrealist sci-fi supposedly in the 2001 vein about a mute woman trying to escape from a mysterious enclave. Despite being handicapped by weirdness, Black Rainbow survived the film festival gauntlet to get an actual theatrical release; we are excited! Debuting this week in Los Angeles and New York City, with scattered showings across the central U.S. to follow. Beyond the Black Rainbow official site.

Elena (2011): Read our capsule review. Distributor Zeitgeist describes this dramatic battle over inheritance of a valuable apartment in Moscow is as a “modern twist on the classic noir thriller.” Playing sporadically across the U.S. over the early summer. Elena US distributor site.

IN DEVELOPMENT:

Farewell to Language [Adieu au Langage]: What may possibly be 82-year old Jean-Luc Godard‘s final movie is reportedly in production. It’s about a husband and wife who no longer speak the same language, and therefore must have their dog translate for them. Oh, and it goes without saying that it’s going to be in 3-D. We really hope this will get the bad taste of Film Socialisme out of our mouths before the Old Wave icon retires for good. Story courtesy of Movieline.

NEW ON DVD:

Being John Malkovich (1999): Read the Certified Weird entry! The Criterion Collection has finally begun stalking the List for new release candidates. Look for a deluxe treatment of Skidoo coming next month. Despite not receiving our finders’ fee, we’re thrilled with this choice. Several of the special features were ported over from the Universal release, but new material includes selected scene commentaries by Michel Gondry, a behind-the-scenes mini-doc, and new interviews with director Spike Jonze and the man everyone wants to be, John Malkovich. Buy Being John Malkovich (Criterion Collection).

NEW ON BLU-RAY:

Being John Malkovich (1999): See description in DVD above. Buy Being John Malkovich [The Criterion Collection Blu-ray].

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (2009): Read our capsule review! This Terry Gilliam fable about an immortal carnival barker’s various bets with the Devil remains a candidate to make the List—this is a good chance for you to watch it and see what you think. Watch The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus free on YouTube.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that we have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

Here’s what we’ll be screening next week: every film geek’s favorite avant-garde propaganda documentary, The Man With a Movie Camera (1929); the minimalist Western Meek’s Cutoff (2011); Careful (1992), another Freudian/Expressionist stew from Guy Maddin, this one set in a repressed Alpine village plagued by avalanches; and more Busby Berkeley musical misogynist madness courtesy of Gold Diggers of 1933.

As we begin our review of the candidates for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest, we wish to highlight a surprisingly persistent fallacy: many searchers out there believe that Google is psychic. How else to explain searches for “weird movies that i like” and “what was this film about?” To get one more preliminary mention out of the way, we’d like to give special recognition to “onlion saxy grail and hores” for being the only search term we’ve ever seen that does not bring up a porn site in the first page of Google results. That’s some impressive mangling of the English language! On to our standard contestants: we really liked “free longpantys” (for some reason we like to imagine “Longpantys” is the pseudonym of some sort of feminist rabble rouser who’s been imprisoned in Iran, but that’s just us). The judges were also impressed with “hustler sad clown and his love nurse,” which might be the title of an abandoned Larry Flynt video project. But nothing caught our attention like “adult diaper rubber pants made in thailand burnout video,” which gave us a startling mental image while warning us about a potential geriatric health catastrophe, thus earning right to be named 366 Weird Movies’ Weirdest Search Term of the Week.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue looks at this moment in history: Careful (next week!); “My Wrongs 8245-8249 and 117″; Dellamorte Dellamore [AKA Cemetery Man]; The Hour-glass Sanatorium [Saanatorium pod klepsidra] (out of print in Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →

A look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN THEATERS (WIDE RELEASE):

Dark Shadows: The accursed vampire Barnabas Collins (from the cult Gothic soap opera “Dark Shadows”) is resurrected in the 1970s and has trouble fitting in to wacky disco culture.  No offense intended to the once-great Tim Burton, but lately, every time you make a movie, it causes a little piece of our collective soul to die. Dark Shadows official site.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

You Are Here (2010): This Canadian festival eye-opener concerns a woman who discovers various artifacts and disconnected clues hinting at some metaphysical mystery; it’s self-described as a “Borgesian fantasy” and a “meta-detective story.” Opening at ReRun Gastropub in NYC, with late summer dates in Toronto and Edmonton to follow. We’ll look for it on DVD. You Are Here official site.

FILM FESTIVALS: CANNES (Cannes, France May 16 – 27)

Unlike past years, Cannes didn’t sneak up on us in 2012. The slate is fairly manageable this year, with Leos Carax’s Holy Motors the only title we’re truly enamored with (it’s the only weirdish movie playing “in competition,” that is to say, eligible for the Palme D’or). The last two Palme D’or winners (The Tree of Life and Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives) went on to even greater honors (they were Certified Weird by 366 Weird Movies); we predict that unlikely trend will end this year (though we certainly hope not). We’ll be keeping an eye on a couple of possibly-weird films screening in the “Un Certain Regard” category and movies playing out-of-competition: check below to see what caught our eye this year.

• Antiviral – Here’s a bizarre premise: adventures in an underground trade supplying fans with viruses taken from their favorite celebrities. The debut of Brandon (son of David) Cronenberg. Cronenberg Sr. will also be at Cannes with Cosmopolis, a (non-weird) adaptation of a Don Delilo novel.  Antiviral is playing in the Un Certain Regard category (ironically, his father’s film Crash was the impetus for creating this category, which was invented to keep wickedly weird films from winning the big prize).
• Beasts of the Southern Wild – A six-year old girl named Hushpuppy contracts a fever, which ushers in the apocalypse and a plague of prehistoric creatures called aurochs. This one debuted at Sundance. Un Certain Regard.
• For Love’s Sake [Ai to Makoto] – Judging by the trailer (which is all we have to go on), the latest from extreme provocateur Takashi Miike appears to be a musical comedy based on “West Side Story.” Playing out of competition.

• Holy Motors – A mysterious man named Monsieur Oscar drives through Paris one night, cycling through various personas. From too-infrequently seen director Leos Carax, and with an exciting cast mixing fresh faces with weird movie vets: Denis Lavant, Edith Scob, Michel Piccoli, Eva Mendes… Playing in competition.
• Meekong Hotel – A surprise entry from “Joe” (Apichatpong Weerasethakul); this movie is still listed as “in production” by IMDB, but is showing up for a “special screening” at 61 minutes. The synopsis is not too much help, but the film “shuffles different realms, fact and fiction” and appears to deal with actors making another movie at the titular hotel.

Cannes Film Festival Official Site (English)

NEW ON DVD:

Ganja and Hess (1973): Professor Hess (Duane Jones of Night of the Living Dead) is stabbed by an African knife and becomes an immortal bloodsucker. Playwright Bill Gunn was hired to deliver a black horror movie a la Blacula, but instead created a surreal art film that thrilled French critics at Cannes and bombed in 42nd Street theaters. If nothing else, this seldom-seen film is a major curiosity and gets an appropriate remastering from Kino Classics. Buy Ganja & Hess.

Lady of the Dark: Genesis of the Serpent Vampire (2011): A woman (named “Eve Dark”) is bitten by a snake and turns into a vampire. The director is credited on IMBD with 35 titles in just six years of filmmaking, mostly conspiracy documentaries like Alien from Area 51 and The Murder of Mary Magdalene! We think this will be inevitably odd. Buy Lady of the Dark: Genesis of the Serpent Vampire.

Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie (2012): Read our capsule review. Reviews (including ours) were mediocre for this big-screen comedy version of the absurd TV sketch show, but true T & E completists surely will want to own it anyway. Right? Buy Tim & Erics Billion Dollar Movie.

NEW ON BLU-RAY:

Ganja and Hess (1973): See description in DVD above. Buy Ganja & Hess [Blu-ray].

Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie (2012): See description in DVD above. This release includes a DVD and digital copy of the film. Buy Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie [Blu-ray].

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

Metropolis [Osamu Tezuka’s Metropolis] (2001): A detective and his boy sidekick search for a cyborg girl created by a mad scientist in a future world where robot slaves live under a massive city. Not quite an uncredited anime remake of Fritz Lang‘s Metropolis, but pretty darn close to it. Watch Metropolis free on YouTube.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.