A look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…
Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.
IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):
Battle Royale 3D (2000): Read our capsule review. American distributor Anchor Bay already rereleased the 2D Japanese kid-death tournament thriller earlier this year to cash in on its similarity to the blockbuster The Hunger Games; they’re milking the cow further with this 3D conversion (which already screened in the US in 2010). No official site so we’re not sure exactly where it’s playing and when, except that we know it’s at the IFC Center in Manhattan.
FILM FESTIVALS: CANNES (Part 2) (Cannes, France May 16 – 27)
The Paperboy (2012): A reporter investigates a death row case; somehow, this causes Nicole Kidman and John Cusack to have psychic sex (?) We’re cautiously adding this one to our watchlist after Stephen Garrett of the New York Observer called it an “off the rails… nut-bar melodrama” in an article encouragingly called Cannes Gets Weird. Of course, Garret offers Walter Salles’ adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s On the Road as evidence of Cannes “getting weird,” which is actually evidence of why critics who aren’t licensed by the Weirdcademy shouldn’t go around declaring stuff weird. Here’s the rest of our 2012 Cannes watchlist.
IN DEVELOPMENT:
Frankenpimp’s Revenge: The Romeo and Juliet Massacre (est. 2014): Tony Watt returns to his Frankenpimp roots with this second entry in a planned trilogy; this script brings in both Romeo and Juliet and Dracula. The original Frankenpimp was an unwatchable three hours long; Watts’ next two movies each ran for two and a half hours. We’re praying this one will be edited down to under two hours, but we’re not sure there is a “cutting room floor” in a Tony Watt production. Frankenpimp’s Revenge: The Romeo and Juliet Massacre at IMDB.
NEW ON DVD:
Certified Copy (2010): A woman (Juliette Binoche) takes an author (William Shimell) out for a tour of Tuscany; both characters change personalities and become entirely different people by the film’s end. Mysterious but uninvolving arthouse hit. Buy Certified Copy (Criterion Collection)
Cowboy Bebop (2001)/American Pop (1981) Double Feature: Read our Cowboy Bebop review. What an odd pairing: a relatively recent sci-fi anime feature and a three-decades old pop-music historical drama that just happens to be rotoscoped. The only thing the two movies have in common is that they’re animated and end in “op,” but if you happen to like both, the disc is a good deal. Buy Cowboy Bebop / American Pop Double Feature
Gums (1976): An XXX parody of Jaws wherein mermaid Terri Hall performs fatal fellatio on seafarers. The weird part is the movie “stars” insane performance artist and “stand-up tragedian” Brother Theodore as “Captain Carl Clitoris.” This is one of the strangest items we’ve ever seen offered on Amazon . We’re not sure if this is the uncut hardcore sex version—though ever since we bought Aphrodisiac! from them, we’re positive Amazon isn’t above selling hardcore porn—so buyer beware. Buy Gums
Mutant Girls Squad (2010): On her 16th birthday a schoolgirl discovers she’s a mutant when she spontaneously spouts a knife from her hand; she gathers more of her kind to take over Japan. More post-Tetsuo machine-mutant madness from the usual splatterpunk suspects. Buy Mutant Girls Squad
A Serbian Film (2010) (“Uncut”): Read our review. This notorious shock flick was previously unavailable in Region 1 (via legitimate channels) in uncut form; at this writing Amazon is showing it as “out of stock” (did fans buy up all the copies thinking it might be pulled, or was it pulled?) You can check availability through the “buy” link. Buy A Serbian Film (Uncut)
Surreal Sicko (2012?): We had to mention this movie with a vague plot description about a rapist who tries to blame his crimes on a schizophrenic just because of the title (‘s a real sicko—get it?) No director was credited in the product listing but research reveals that this is the work of unknown but somehow annoying microbudget auteur Bill Zebub. Because it’s from Zebub, we’re suspicious that this might be another retitled rerelease of one of his older movies: Skits-o-Phrenia (similar title strategy) or The Crucifier (shares at least two common cast members) seem like likely possibilities. Buy Surreal Sicko
“Up All Night with Robert Downey Sr.” (Eclipse Series 33): Wow, is Criterion’s “Eclipse” series nailing the weird lately: first there was “Pearls of the Czech New Wave” (which we’re still sifting through), and hot on those bizarre heels comes this even stranger set from the underground auteur behind the Certified Weird Greaser’s Palace. The set includes five counterculture provocations: Babo 73, Chafed Elbows, No More Excuses, the relatively famous Putney Swope, and the (never before seen?) Two Tons of Turquoise to Taos Tonight. We’re taking bets on how many of these will be certified weird (the over/under is 1.5). Buy “Eclipse Series 33: Up All Night with Robert Downey Sr.”
NEW ON BLU-RAY:
Castle in the Sky (1986): A boy and girl search for a floating castle in Hayao Miyazaki‘s third animated feature. This Disney upgrade to Blu-ray comes with a complementary DVD copy of the movie. Buy Castle in the Sky (Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
Certified Copy (2010): See description in DVD above. Buy Certified Copy (The Criterion Collection) [Blu-ray]
Mutant Girls Squad (2010): See description in DVD above. This is a Blu-ray/DVD combo pack and at the time of this writing the combo was only one penny more than the DVD itself (prices, of course, are subject to change). Buy Mutant Girls Squad [DVD/Blu-ray Combo]
Whisper of the Heart (1995): A teenage girl finds that the stories she’s writing about a dapper cat named “the baron” are coming true; a Japanese rendition of John Denver’s “Country Roads” plays a part in the plot. A Studio Ghibli effort written and produced (but not directed) by Hayao Miyazaki; like Castle in the Sky, it comes in a DVD/Blu-ray combo pack. Buy Whisper of the Heart (Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:
Moon (2009): Read our capsule review. Not so weird, but the 2001-style lunar loneliness may get under your skin as you watch space miner Sam Rockwell go insane on the moon. Watch Moon free on YouTube.
What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.