Just a reminder: feel free to join us in the new forums. There are a lot of folks there with mystery movies begging for solutions…

Next week’s slate of movies includes our long-anticipated take on the modern midnight movie Beyond the Black Rainbow; to get in the Halloween spirit we’ll take peeks at Mario Bava’s Lisa and the Devil (1974) and the Lugosi/Karloff teamup The Body Snatcher (1945); and we’ll take care of some old business by restoring the long-lost Certified Weird entry for Terry Gilliam‘s bizarre adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson‘s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (re-written from scratch!)

Every week there are a lot of really sick, perverted search queries we come across while combing server logs looking for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Many of them are unprintable and, frankly, make us weep for humanity. Our first runner-up this week is kind of sick (though nowhere near the worst), but it’s so bizarrely specific that we couldn’t resist bringing it to your attention: “beautiful girls wearing wrist watch in their hands sexually abusing young guys porn videos.” And while we’re in a dirty mood, we might as well mention the scarcely comprehensible search for “older movie guy puts work in vagina.” Not satisfied yet? Okay, one more naughty one: “anime monster blond girl and guy poop.” Despite all of this, our weirdest search term of the week wasn’t submitted by a registered sex offender, but just a garden variety, G0-rated weirdo: “….. in an aeroplane a beard man moves towards a washroom and someone in hat follows him…… (&*)#!@#&(!@$.” This marks the first time we’ve seen a searcher get so frustrated with a lack of relevant results for his query that he starts swearing before submitting it… and, who was polite enough about it to use grawlixes. Well done, weird sir!

Here’s the ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader suggested review queue: The Hour-glass Sanatorium [Saanatorium pod klepsidra]; Liquid Sky (re-review); Society; Final Programme; “Foutaises”; Bloodsucking Freaks; Lost Highway; Valerie and Her Week of Wonders (official review); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Holy Motors: A mysterious man named Monsieur Oscar drives through Paris one night, cycling through various personas. From too-infrequently seen director Leos Carax, and with an exciting cast mixing fresh faces with weird movie vets: Denis Lavant, Edith Scob, Michel Piccoli, Eva Mendes… Holy Motors Facebook page.

NEW ON DVD:

Excision (2012): Horror film about a spooky, morbid teen girl who decides to lose her virginity and then, per the synopsis, “the weirdness really begins.” Check out the cast list: Traci Lords, John Waters, Malcolm McDowell, Ray Wise… Buy Excision.

Nina Conti: Her Master’s Voice (2012): This strikes us as an odd documentary subject: a master British ventriloquist takes the dummy of her dead mentor to “Venthaven,” a “graveyard for puppets of dead ventriloquists” in Kentucky. Christopher Campbell of Movies.com thought it was “kind of weird.” Buy Nina Conti: Her Master’s Voice

Nobody Else But You [Poupoupido] (2011): A crime writer investigates the cold case death of a local model who believed herself to be the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe. This French thriller may be a stretch for “weird,” but we’re encouraged that The Hollywood Reporter described it as “A hint of Twin Peaks and a large helping of the Coen Brothers!” Buy Nobody Else But You .

Orlok the Vampire (1922): Somebody took F.W. Murnau’s silent vampire classic Nosfeatu and restored it—in 3D. Seriously, this is Nosferatu in 3D. Red-blue glasses included. Buy Orlok The Vampire.

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

Dark Places (2005): A drug-addicted prostitute accidentally kills a john and then seeks shelter in a house with two sadists. The reality bends, at least as much as the tiny budget will allow. Watch Dark Places free on YouTube.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

First, an announcement for those who don’t constantly keep tabs on the tabs menu at the top of the page: there’s a new tab we’ve tabbed “Forum.” If you follow that link you’ll find two new message boards: “What Was That Weird Movie?” (which we hope will be a better organized version of the page of the same name) and “General Chat.” These are places where you, the readers at home, can start your own discussion topics and meet up with like minded weirdos. Come and join early adopter Cameron Jorgensen in the General Chat forum, and when we’re as famous as 4chan you’ll be able to say you were there at the beginning. We consider this feature still in “beta,” but we haven’t noticed any bugs or serious problems with it yet (fingers crossed!)

Back to regular business: our review slate for next week begins with the budget-surrealism feature This Is Not a Movie (2011). Then, we’ll set out on the surreal seas with two weird nautical features: Raoul Ruiz’ Three Crowns of the Sailor (1983) (via the reader-suggested review queue) and the Beatles Yellow Submarine (1968). Alfred will return us to solid ground for his continuing Halloween-season coverage of the great Val Lewton with 1944’s Curse of the Cat People.

We’ll start off our survey of the weirdest search terms used to locate the site this week with one that proves that a single letter can make the difference between a pretty reasonable Google query and a startlingly strange one: “pie predicting stock market movie.” (In case you don’t get it, this is what the searcher was looking for). Our runner-up for Weirdest Search Term of the Week is the incomprehensible “the film of the woman remember her bast when take her bath” (Google helpfully suggests the searcher meant to type “the film of the woman remember her breast when take her bath,” which is only slightly more coherent). But the official winner makes even less sense: “1. who wrote the diary? 2. why did robin decide to write a diary? ответы.” “ответы” means “answers” in Russian, but it seems a bit odd that the second question appears to answer the first—and why ask the questions in English if the searcher is a Russian speaker? We may never know the ответы to these questions, which is what makes this our Weirdest Search Term of the Week.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Three Crowns of the Sailor (next week!); The Hour-glass Sanatorium [Saanatorium pod klepsidra]; Liquid Sky (re-review); Society; Final Programme; “Foutaises”; Bloodsucking Freaks; Lost Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN DEVELOPMENT:

I Am Divine (est. 2013): A documentary on the world’s favorite 300-pound copraphagiac transvestite, Harris Glenn Milstead, AKA Divine. With the support of John Waters and $25,000 of the requested $40,000 already pledged on Kickstarter, we suspect that this will get made, but if you’re concerned you may want to kick in a few bucks yourself. I Am Divine Kickstarter page.

Rocks in My Pockets (est. 2013): A feature length animated movie advertised as “a funny film about depression” from Bill Plympton protege Signe Baumane. The first trailer is out; apparently animation is complete and the film is going into post-production. Rocks in My Pockets official site.

NEW ON DVD:

Basket Case 3 (1992): In the third installment of the Basket Case series, mutated conjoined twin Belial procreates with another freak and goes on a splatter rampage when his monstrous brood is seized by the local sheriff. 1982’s Basket Case had a subtle black comedy strain but was horror at heart; the sequels became increasingly spoofy, gory, and focused around designing outrageously deformed puppets. Buy Basket Case 3: The Progeny.

Magical Mystery Tour (1967): The Beatles third movie was a one-hour television special that pioneered the idea of surreal music videos, and of taking psychedelic trips in buses. It’s a big year for fans of the Beatles’ weird years, since Yellow Submarine also saw its DVD release in 2012. Buy Magical Mystery Tour.

Prometheus (2012): Read our review. Ridley Scott’s grandiose Alien prequel reaches for the stars. Buy Prometheus.

“Tokyo Vengeance”: Tokyo Shock brings together three splatterpunk “classics”: The Machine Girl (2007), Tokyo Gore Police (2009), and Death Kappa (2010). WARNING: the Amazon page currently says this set takes 4-6 weeks to ship (!) Buy “Tokyo Vengeance”.

NEW ON BLU-RAY:

Magical Mystery Tour (1967): See description in DVD above. Buy Magical Mystery Tour [Blu-ray].

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

Superstarlet A.D. (2000): In a post-apocalyptic world where sexy girl gangs are segregated according to hair color, one starlet searches for her grandmother’s lost stag film. Thanks distribution by Troma, this is probably John Michael McCarthy’s best known work; his unique, self-aware sexplotiation movies are like a mix of Russ Meyer, Dwain Esper and David Lynch. Watch Superstarlet A.D. free on YouTube.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.