WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Last week, we received a DVD from Netflix of a really, really weird flick.  Unfortunately, there was a large crack in it that made it unplayable—a flaw far too prominent to have gone unnoticed.  Is Netflix now deliberately sabotaging their more obscure and bizarre offerings to prop up rentals of the latest Transformers movie?  Or was it a single weird-movie-hating employee, acting alone?  Whatever the shadowy force behind this Conspiracy for Conventionality, the miscue forced us to adjust our lineup at the last moment.  But have no fear!  Next week you can still count on reports on weird and obscure movies, including the return of 366 Underground with coverage of the 2.5 hour B-movie opus Vixen Highway 2006: It Came from Uranus (2010).  We’ll also take looks at the Chinese marital ghost story Matrimony (2010) and the unusual (to say the least) hardcore porn documentary Aphrodisiac! The Sexual Secret of Marijuana (1971).   Throw in patr 1 of a two-part series on “Chaplin at Keystone,” and that should keep you busy until Netflix gets us replacement weirdness.

When we’re looking for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week, the bizarrely fetishistic porn searcher contingent always leads the way.  We’re not sure, however, whether the following contender fits into that group or not: “deaf asian bush in movie.”  Most of this week’s other entrants aren’t so ambiguous, such as the fellow who was looking for “sex porn italy between trees” (we tried the search ourselves and could only locate sex porn Italy between people—sorry).  Then there are the searchers that are obviously sexual in nature, but were clearly typed in by drunken non-English speakers of sub-normal intelligence.  In this category we include both “estonis a vagina bb movie movie” and  “best black ninjaz of brug porno.com.”  The clear winner Weirdest Search Term of the Week, however, was “hıgh black penısy sex.”  The crazed searcher gets bonus points for inventing the peculiar adjective “penisy,” and even more bonus points for somehow replacing the “i” key on his keyboard with the symbol “ı.”  That’s thinking outside the box in the field of weird searching!

Here’s the long-neglected reader-suggested review queue for your perusal (if not for the Netflix conspiracy mentioned above we would have knocked a title off this week): Kairo [AKA Pulse];The American Astronaut; Blood Tea and Red Strings; The Films of Kenneth Anger, Vol. II (for Lucifer Rising, among others); Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; The Bride of  Frank; La Grande Bouffe; Hedwig and the Angry InchEven Dwarves Started Small; Bunny & the Bull; “I Killed My  Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at  Disney” (assuming I can find  it);  Cinema 16: European Short FilmsFreaked; Session 9; Schizopolis; Strings; Dellamorte Dellamore [AKA Cemetery Man]; The Hour-glass  Sanatorium [Saanatorium pod klepsidra]; Liquid SkyThe Quiet; Shock Treatment; Tuvalu; “Zombie Jesus”  (if we can locate it); The Bed-Sitting Room; 3 Dev AdamFantastic Planet; “Twin Peaks” (TV series); SocietyMay; The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th  Dimension; Little Otik; Final ProgrammeCareful; Sweet Movie; The Triplets of Belleville;  “Foutaises” (short); Johnny Suede; The Tale  of the Floating World, Un Chien Andalou, Bloodsucking  Freaks; Fellini Satyricon; Three Crowns of the Sailor8 1/2; Dororo; Lost Highway; Valerie and Her Week  of Wonders; Dogville; Julien Donkey-boy; AmelieThe Ten; The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; 1; Fast, Cheap and Out of Control; Tokyo Gore Police; At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul; The Trial [Le procès) (1962); MarquisHell Comes to FrogtownSeom [The  Isle]; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Lust in the Dust; Celine and Julie Go Boating;  “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” The Magic Christian; Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T; Abnormal: The Sinema of Nick Zedd; Robot Monster; Nightdreams; 3  Women; “To Oblivion”; Rubin & Ed; TeethVera; Weirdsville; Prospero’s BooksInferno; Garden State; Persona; The Real McCoy; Rat Pfink a Boo Boo; Themroc; Candy (1968); Run Lola Run; Pink Flamingos; Buffalo ’66Northfork; Weekend; The Room; Glen or Glenda?; Night of the Hunter; The Fox FamilyMidnight Skater; Angelus; Cloudy with a Chance of  Meatballs; Twister (1989); Yokai Monsters, Vol. 1: Spook Warfare [AKA Big Monster War]; Britannia Hospital; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; Piano Tuner of Earthquakes; Clean, Shaven; Bubba Ho-Tep; Sheitan; Innocence; “Chingsao the Clown”; Léolo; 2001: A Space Odyssey; Blue VelvetID (2005); Master of the Flying Guillotine; Yesterday Was a Lie; The Ninth Configuration; Love Me If You DareForbidden Zone; The Cell; My Dinner with AndreThe Illustrated ManFando y Lis; Rampo Noir; Head; Christmas on Mars; “Broken Glass”; Videodrome; Air Doll; The Ossuary and Other Tales; Arrebato; Symbol; Wicked City (1992  live action); Barbarella; Picnic at Hanging Rock; The Cars that Ate Paris; The Boxer’s Omen [aka Mo];  Portrait of Jennie; Salo, the 120 Days of  Sodom; The Last Sunset (1961); Orpheus (1950); A Scanner Darkly; Safe; The Atrocity Exhibition; Gainsbourg (Vie héroïque); Slacker; Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell; Color of Pomegranates; Horror Express; Noroi; A Serbian Film (if ever released on DVD, which seems questionable at this point); Cutie Honey; The Shape of Things; On the Silver Globe; Monty Python and the Holy Grail; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; 2012 Aficionado DVD Zine Issue #0; The Last Days of Planet Earth;  “Charleston Parade”; Tales from the Quadead Zone; A Snake of  June; The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover; The Neverending Story; Cat Soup; Jack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); Drowning by Numbers; Fudge 44; From Beyond; The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle MeatMeet the Hollowheads; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Grendel GrendelEyes Wide Shut; Twilight of the Cockroaches; The Ruling Class; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia];  The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie; Daisies; Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); Parents; Dark City; Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters; 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil DollMultiple Maniacs; Phantasm IV; and Vermilion Souls (2007) (depending on availability); Lovers on the Bridge; No Smoking (2007); Reflections of Evil; The War Zone; Gahjini; Natural Born Killers; The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb; One Eyed Monster; Reflections of Evil; Natural Born Killers; The Fountain; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); Wool 100%; Murder Party; The Annunciation (1984); Funeral Parade of Roses; Stroszek; Primer; Bad Taste; Aguirre, the Wrath of God; Audition; The Fall; Me and You and Everyone We Know; Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; “Serial Experiments: Lain” (TV show); Darc Arc; Russian Ark; Genius Party; Watership Down; Tampopo; Goodbye Uncle Tom; The Idiots; Repo Man; Der Todersking [The Death King]; Titicut Follies; Mr. Nobody; The Shout; Rubber (this will probably jump in line and be reviewed early as a new release); “Premium” (depending on availability); Sleepaway Camp; The Pit (1981); Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams; The Falls; Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; Perfect Blue; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; The Bothersome Man; Moebius; Skeletons; Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song; The Brave Little Toaster; The Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Meet the Feebles; The Adventures of Mark Twain; Tourist Trap (1979); Thundercrack!; SLC Punk; Anguish (1987); Buddy Boy (1999); Bliss (1986); La cicatrice intérieure; Avida (2006); Brain Damage; Amazon Women on the Moon; Chronopolis; Blue (1993); Metropia; Zachariah; Labyrinth; Battle in Heaven; The Taste of Tea; Evil Ed; I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse; Cafe Flesh; Buffet Froid; Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam [AKA Turkish Star Wars]; Rubber’s Lover; The Signal; “Alma” (short); The Double Life of Veronique;  “Chick”, Felidae; Spirited Away; Decasia (2002); Killdozer; Tommy; I (heart) HuckabeesElectric Dragon 80,000 VSanta Claus (1959); Strange Circus; Mad Detective; Wild at Heart; Revolver; The Tenant; A Zed and Two Noughts; Litan (1982) (depending on availability); Dark Waters; La Razon de Mi Vida (pending English language DVD release); The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea; Bernie (1996) ( depending on availability); The Ruling Class; Tank Girl; Things (1989); Hair Extensions; Haggard; Svidd neger (depending on availability); RoboGeisha; Schramm; Executive KoalaCoonskin; Time Masters; Hard Candy; Waiting for Godot (2001); Crash (1996); La Dolce Vita; La Cravate; Spirits of the Air, Gremlins of the Clouds (depending on availability); Last Year in Marienbad; Alphaville; Savages; Big River Man; This Must Be the Place; Heart of Glass; Little Deaths; Akira; L’Ange; La Teta y La Luna; FinisterraeThe Adventures of Baron Muchausen; L’Âge d’or; Breakfast of Champions; Heavenly Creatures; Vase de Noces; Lucky; Ichi the Killer; La antena; Mystics in Bali; Feherlofia; Versus; “Meshes of the Afternoon”; Birth of the OverfiendA Dog Called PainThe Bed Sitting RoomMemento Mori; That Deadwood Feeling; Happiness; Let the Right One In; Porcile [AKA Pigpen]; Lisa and the Devil; Django, Kill!; Underground; Caligula; Hotel (2004); Hardgore; Survive Style 5+FantasiaPhilosophy of a KnifeThe Last Movie; Lord Love a Duck; and Amarcord.

2 thoughts on “WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE”

  1. The dotless letter i suggests a Turkish or maybe Azerbaijani user — both alphabets have both a dotted and an undotted i.

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