Category Archives: Free Online Weird Movies

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 9/13/2019

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Chained for Life (2018): Read Giles Edwards’ review. At the time of this writing, this comedy about “freaks” making their own movie during off-hours on another movie set currently holds an impressive 100% positive rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Ridiculous trivia: Freaks (see below) and Chained for Life both share names with movies starring conjoined twins the Hilton Sisters. Chained for Life official site.

Freaks (2018): Read Giles Edwards’ review. As promised in our (possibly spoilery) interview, the festival hit about a 10-year-old girl whose father keeps her locked inside and warns her never to leave the house receives a Friday the 13th release. Freaks official site.

Monos (2019): Enigmatic Colombian film about a purposeless group of soldiers camped in a fog-shrouded jungle. It’s receiving excellent reviews (with optimistic comparisons to Apocalypse Now). Monos official site.

NEW ON HOME VIDEO:

Bloodsucker’s Planet (2019): A spaceship crew responding to a planetary distress signal encounter talking alien cockroaches, a gynobot with romantic delusions, and space vampires. An ultra-low budget 60s retro space opera, and a prequel to a 2012 movie (Bloodsucker’s Handbook) we never heard of, but looks weird. Blu-ray, DVD or VOD. Buy Bloodsucker’s Planet.

The Dead Don’t Die (2019): Residents of a small town endure a plague of zombies caused when polar fracking knocks the earth off its axis in this self-aware zombie parody. Features clunky satire and inconsistently deployed self-referential humor, but it is fun to see the amazing cast (led by a weary ) get picked off by the undead. On Blu-ray, DVD and VOD. Buy The Dead Don’t Die.

“Undone” (2019): A new Amazon Prime series about a young woman whose dead father teaches her to time-travel. If that’s not enough oddity for you, we’ll add that it’s rotoscoped and from the makers of “Bojack Horseman.” The season debuts 9/13. “Undone” on Amazon Prime.

STREAMING SERVICES:

Spamflix: Questionable name, interesting service. Founded by a couple of international film festival programmers, spamflix specializes in rare films they describe as “absurd, fantastical and bizarre” and promises a platform “where genre enthusiasts can become ensorcelled with cinematic oddities from around the world.” The catalogue differs by country. The available-in-U.S. roster is currently small, but impressive, headlined (in our estimation) by the canonically weird Der Samurai (2014) (which is available on other platforms) and ‘s abstract Symbol (which is not). Other interesting, underseen films include Gandu, Liza the Fox Fairy, and the UFO musical The Legend of Kaspar Hauser. Spamflix.com.

CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

K-12 (2019): Pop singer Melanie Martinez released a movie (a real musical, not just a “visual album”) in conjunction with her latest release, and put it up on YouTube for free. It’s a fantasy about a girl who is sent to a strict and surreal boarding school, and rebels; the aesthetic is almost oppressively pink. No word on how long it will remain up, so we assume indefinitely. Watch K-12 free on YouTube.

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE: Last week was weird sex week; next week, we’ll go back to our regular format of just throwing whatever we feel like up on the page. Therefore, you can expect another eclectic slate of weird movie writing, starting off with G. Smalley‘s report on ‘s 15-hour classic, Berlin Alexanderplatz; Giles Edwards on Netflix’s Dark Crystal prequel  “The Age of Resistance”; and Pete Trbovich getting philosophical with his essay “Questions Are Beautiful.” Onward and weirdward!

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

360. COME AND SEE (1985)

Idi i smotri

“And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. “–Revelation 6:7-8

Must See

DIRECTED BY: Elem Klimov

FEATURING: Aleksey Kravechenko, Olga Mironova, Liubomiras Laucevicius

PLOT: Florya, a boy of about 14, digs in a field with a playmate, hoping to find a buried rifle so he can join the Belorussian partisans fighting against occupying Nazis. He finds one, and is soon roughly whisked away by soldiers to the forest campground, leaving his sobbing mother behind. When the troops go on patrol he is left alone to guard the camp, but after the Luftwaffe bomb the area he and a female companion return to Florya’s village, where he finds the war has devastated everything his once knew.

Still from Come and See (1985)

BACKGROUND:

  • Based on a memoir of a teenage Belarussian partisan, Come and See was commissioned to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Soviet Union’s victory over the Nazis.
  • Director Elem Klimov, still a relatively young man at 52 when he completed Come and See, chose to retire from filmmaking after its release, saying that he could not top this achievement.
  • Come and See is included in Steven Schneider’s “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die” and tied for 30th (among directors) and 154th (among critics) in “Sight and Sound”‘s 2012 Greatest Movie poll, among other accolades and honors.

INDELIBLE IMAGE: It could be the closeup of Aleksey Kravechenko’s prematurely aged face at the end. Or the S.S. skull-on-a-stick the refugees turn into an effigy of Hitler. For me, however, the most surprising and unforgettable image was the nightmare of Florya and Glasha sloshing through a muddy bog in desperation, fleeing from a horror they will never be able to outrun.

THREE WEIRD THINGS: Forest Charleston; cow in a firefight; kill baby Hitler?

WHAT MAKES IT WEIRD: Come and See’s flirtations with surrealism nudge it into the “weird” category, and then its sheer grueling intensity carries it to “must see” status. That recommendation should perhaps come with a warning that, despite containing nothing particularly graphic, this movie’s sheer aura of evil is likely to disturb you on a deep level. This is not a shock-for-shock’s-sake experience, however, but an honest, unflinching dip into the subconscious of an adolescent boy thrust into a horrific situation initially beyond his comprehension—one which he tragically comes to understand all too well.


DVD trailer for Come and See

COMMENTS: Come and See is war movie as horror movie. It is notable for its immersive intensity. It unrelentingly assaults your sensibilities, as sadistically eager to strip away your innocence as it is to Continue reading 360. COME AND SEE (1985)

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 5/25/2018

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece (2018): An ex-porn star becomes a kickboxing avenger in this 80s action throwback. The trailer makes it look desperately over-camped, but check out the cameos: , kickboxer Cynthia Rothrock, kickboxer offspring Bianca Brigitte VanDamme, wrestlers Bill Goldberg and Tiny Lister, Last Dragon Taimak, and of course, Ron Jeremy. Fury of the First and the Golden Fleece official site.

The Misandrists (2017): A fugitive male hides out at a lesbian separatist boarding school. This is the widest release we’ve ever seen for a Bruce LaBruce movie (the director started out making underground gay porn movies and has gradually moved into slightly more mainstream transgressions). The Misandrists official site.

NEW ON HOME VIDEO:

Death Smiles on a Murderer (1973): An ancient Incan ritual turns a dead woman into an avenging angel. Arrow Video is pitching this supernatural giallo as “surreal,” but just the fact that it’s sleazemaestro directing and would make it worth our notice. On Blu-ray only. Buy Death Smiles on a Murderer.

Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters (1985): An expressionistic portrait of the life of the Japanese author, told in flashbacks and stylized recreations of his fiction. This Criterion Collection Blu-ray upgrade may give us an excuse to knock this one out of our reader-suggested queue. Buy Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters.

Sequence Break (2017): Read Giles Edwards’ review. The Cronenbeg-ish story of a young man absorbed (literally) by a mysterious video game. Streaming exclusively (for the time being, at least) on Shudder beginning on May 24.

CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON TUBI.TV:

A Boy and His Dog (1975): Read the Certified Weird entry! Don Johnson roams a post-apocalyptic wasteland with his telepathic dog, looking for women to rape. Upstart Tubi has a surprising number of weird (Certified and otherwise) titles in its catalog. Watch A Boy and His Dog free on Tubi.tv.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 4/27/2018

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

NEW ON HOME VIDEO:

Dead Man (1995): Read the Certified Weird review! Jim Jarmusch‘s moody western about Nobody and William Blake gets the Criterion Collection treatment, with a host of new interviews, features, behind the scenes performances, and deleted scenes for uberfans. On DVD and Blu-ray. Buy Dead Man.

Moon Child (1989): A parapsychological cult believes they may have found the prophesied “moon child” in a 12-year old orphan. From , with a score by Dead Can Dance.  Blu-ray/DVD combo pack from Cult Epics. Review coming soon. Buy Moon Child.

CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

FREE WEIRD MOVIES ON TUBI.TV:

The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made: A glorified YouTube upload posing as a one-hour feature film, but an interesting set of clips, nevertheless. At least three of these selections are Certified Weird, many others are reviewed here, and, as is usually the case with these kinds of lists, not all of them are actually bad—just beyond the curator’s expectations of what a movie “should” be. Watch The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made free on Tubi.TV.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 4/11/2018

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

Sign Gene (2017): Like the X-Men, but all the mutants are deaf and get their superpowers through using sign language. A Deafula for our times? No word if it comes with subtitles for the hearing. Sign Gene official site.

CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

FREE MOVIES ON TUBI.TV:

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002): Read the Certified Weird review. Elvis and the black JFK fight a mummy who’s infiltrated their retirement home. You read that right. Watch Bubba Ho-Tep free on Tubi.TV.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

WEIRD HORIZON FOR THE WEEK OF 4/6/2018

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs and Blu-rays (and hot off the server VODs), and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available at the official site links.

IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):

The Endless (2017): Read Giles Edwards’ review and ‘s festival hit about brothers returning to a UFO cult gets a limited release from Well Go. The Endless official Facebook page.

Lowlife (2017): Read Giles Edwards’ review. Giles described this interlocking story about Los Angeles lowlifes (including a luchador) as “Pulp Fiction with cajones” and hyped it early enough that IFC Midnight mentioned us in their Twitter promos. Lowlife at IFC Films.

FILM FESTIVALS – Pittsburgh Japanese Film Festival (Pittsburgh, PA, Apr. 6-19):

There aren’t a lot of new releases debuting here, but you can catch at least one film of recent interest: ‘s deconstructed pink movie, Antiporno. Other cool viewings include the rock and roll zombie apaocalypse cult movie Wild Zero, the intriguing sub-weird anime Your Name, and a pair of classic samurai flicks: Yojimbo (1961) (the basis for Sergio Leone’s A Fistful of Dollars) and its sequel Sanjuro (1961). Add a screening of the original Godzilla and cap it all off with  tentacle-porn pioneer Urotsukidoji: The Legend of the Overfiend and you can scrape together quite a week of Japanese oddness.

Pittsburgh Japanese Film Festival home page.

FILM FESTIVALS – San Francisco International Film Festival (Sam Francisco, ,CPA, Apr. 4-17):

The much-anticipated Sorry to Bother You is the “centerpiece” film in a festival that also features a  lecture (though he’s not bringing along his latest film, The Velvet Fog, unless it’s the “secret screening”), There are also a few familiar fest names, like the African-set magical realism of I Am Not a Witch, Denmark’s bleak Winter Brothers, and the Cannes alien comedy flop How to Talk to Girls at Parties (with director and writer dropping by to explain it). Here are some newbies we spotted:

  • Cacrcasse – Without context, people are seen puttering around ruins raising livestock; it’s possibly a post-apocalyptic scenario… From Iceland and screening Apr. 15,
  • “A Celebration of Oddball Films with Marc Capelle’s Red Rook Orchestra” – An avant-garde orchestra plays danceable tunes to accompany a series of industrial shorts and other odd ephemeral films. Happening Apr. 9.
  • “Deep Astronomy and the Romantic Sciences” – ‘s one-man show and performance art piece where he pretends to be a singing motivational speaker touting New Age philosophies. See it Friday, Apr. 13.
  • Godard, Mon Amour– Bopic of ‘s tempestuous affair with hi leading actress while filming La Chinoise. Not weird, but of interest to Godardists (who might be offended, or not, by the aurteur’s portrayal as an egotist.) Screens Arp 14-15.

IN DEVELOPMENT (post-production):

The Man Who Killed Don Qioxite (2018?): An advertising executive (Adam Driver) is cast back in time and meets a man claiming to be Don Quixoite (, taking over the role from the late). ‘s 20-year struggle to bring this story to the big screen has been the stiff of Quixotic legend, even inspiring the 2002 documentary Lost in La Mancha, and the journey may not even be over yet: an investor (who never provided any funds) is suing to stop the release, according the the Playlist. Sometimes it seems like Gilliam’s Quixote must be the longest running publicity stunt in the history of film. But we do finally have a trailer, so the majority of windmills have been tilted.

NEW ON HOME VIDEO:

Like Me (2017): A teen girl sets out on a crime spree which she broadcasts on social media. Produced by indie horror champion (who also co-stars); Variety calls it “a uniquely weird take on loneliness and lunacy.” On Blu-ray, DVD or VOD. Buy Like Me.

CERTIFIED WEIRD (AND OTHER) REPERTORY SCREENINGS:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). We won’t list all the screenings of this audience-participation classic separately. You can use this page to find a screening near you.

MISCELLANEOUS (Summer Camp):

is hosting his second annual summer camp for adults at Camp Getaway in Kent, CT. Besides screenings of his puke classicks, attendees can expect to participate in sports, outdoor activities, yoga, massages, Improv, beer pong, and scotch and cigar sessions. Camp counselors? and Traci Lords, of course. Unfortunately, it soens’t look like registration is open yet for the Sep. 14-6 date on the Club Getaway site, but we expect it to sell out fast.

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

Romance Bizzaro (2018): This twenty-minute two-hander comes from the twisted mind of , so you know it’ll be weird. A wheelchair-bound man and a younger woman meet for a secret tryst, but a revelation puts their affair into a context that makes it seem less sleazy—or perhaps much, much sleazier. Contains adult situations and brief bad language. Watch Romance Bizarro free on YouTube.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

326. THE BLOOD OF A POET (1930)

Le sang d’un poète

“The purpose of literature is to turn blood into ink.”–T.S. Eliot

RecommendedWeirdest!

DIRECTED BY:

FEATURING: Enrique Rivero, Elizabeth Lee Miller

PLOT: A man sketches a face on a canvas; when he sees the mouth he has drawn beginning to move, he smudges it out, but finds that the orifice has affixed itself to his hand. He eventually gets rid of it by wiping it onto the face of a statue; the statue comes to life and sends him through a mirror into a strange hotel where he spies on surreal scenarios through keyholes. Returning through the mirror, he smashes the statue, is transformed into one himself, then finds himself playing a card game and shoots himself in the head when he realizes he cannot win.

Blood of a Poet (1930)

BACKGROUND:

  • Jean Cocteau was already an established playwright, artist and novelist before creating this, his first film.
  • Le sang d’un poète was financed by Vicomte Charles de Noailles, who also produced L’Age d’Or. They were both filmed in 1930, but first public screening of Blood of a Poet was delayed for over a year until the scandal caused by ‘s sacrilegious film had died down. (This history explains why the Blood of a Poet‘s date is sometimes given as 1930, its date of production, and sometimes 1932, based on when it was first screened.)
  • De Noailles and his wife and friends originally appeared in the film as members of the audience, but they did not know what they were supposed to be reacting to. When the Vicomte discovered they were applauding a suicide he demanded the scene be cut. Cocteau re-shot it with a different audience composed of his friends, among whom was the female impersonator and acrobat Barbette, an underground Parisian celebrity.
  • Elizabeth Lee Miller, who plays the statue, was the student and lover of Surrealist artist Man Ray. She later became a successful photographer in her own right and never again appeared onscreen.
  • Blood of a Poet is the first in Cocteau’s loose “Orphic” trilogy, followed by Orpheus (1950) and concluding with The Testament of Orpheus (1960).

INDELIBLE IMAGE: Cocteau recommended that we view his movie as if it were an enigmatic painting, which leaves us with a plethora of surrealistic frames to consider. We picked a particularly bizarre composition: the “desperate hermaphrodite” in Room 23. The scene begins with a chaise lounge with a spinning hypno-wheel, and with a periodic drum roll new elements are added: a pancake makeup face, line-drawn breasts, a white fright wig, stars and various pieces of clothing strewn about the scene. In a final gesture he/she pulls off a black cloth to reveal the words “danger de mort” (“danger of death”) labeling his/her crotch region.

THREE WEIRD THINGS: Collapsing tower; hand mouth; desperate hermaphrodite

WHAT MAKES IT WEIRD: Blood of a Poet is Jean Cocteau’s initial attempt to translate poetry—or rather to place one inside the trancelike state enjoyed and suffered by the poet—on film. Simultaneously quaint and avant-garde, it’s raw, primitive opium-dream weirdness; pioneering in its day, but still capable of startling today’s viewers with its irrational exhuberances.


Trailer for The Blood of a Poet made for a 2010 screening with a new score by DJ Spooky

COMMENTS: Jean Cocteau denied making a Surrealist film as vehemently as René Magritte denied painting a pipe. (“It is often said that Continue reading 326. THE BLOOD OF A POET (1930)