We’re well aware that we’ve been neglecting our primary purpose, and that it’s been a good while since we’ve officially elevated a movie onto the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies ever made. All that changes next week as we add movie #96. Well it be Bellflower (2011), the mumblecore drama about contemporary slackers who build Mad Max machines in preparation for the coming Apocalypse? Or could it be Elena (2011), the morally ambiguous story of an older Russian woman and a coveted inheritance that won a special jury prize in the “Un Certain Regard” category at Cannes? Perhaps it’s reader-suggestion The Saddest Music in the World (2003), starring Isabella Rossellini as a legless Canadian beer baroness who sponsors a global search for the titular music during the Great Depression? If you’ve guessed which one it is don’t tell the others, let them be shocked and surprised!
After a few weeks of surprisingly ordinary search terms, this week the abnormal returned to Google with a vengeance, keying in multitude of distorted entries we can use in our weekly quest to find the Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Our first honorable mention comes from the searcher we’d most like to meet: “i am weird movies.” As usual, the twi1sted pr0n searchers brought us disquieting gold with “boys first sex with his dog;” not the weirdest, but certainly the most disturbing, search of the week. On a more innocent smut note, we noticed a developing kink pattern in this sequence of searches: “dwarf breastfeeding movies,” “women breastfeeding horse videos,” and our favorite in the series, “films featuring the dead breastfeeding” (we wonder if the last refers to some extremely rare Jerry Garcia bootlegs?) Despite the fun afforded by the previous queries, our vote for Weirdest Search Term of the Week goes to the simple “japanese stewadess constipated,” simply because we can not imagine one possible scenario where we’d type that particular combination of words into the Google search box. Not one. Really, try to think of one yourself. You’ll see.
Here’s the ridiculously long and ever-growing reader suggested review queue for your perusal: Saddest Music in the World (next week!); Kairo [AKA Pulse]; Mulholland Drive; The American Astronaut; Blood Tea and Red Strings; The Films of Kenneth Anger, Vol. II (for Lucifer Rising, among others); Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; The Bride of Frank; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE→
Glitch in the Grid (2011): An artist suffers a spiritual crisis in this film mixing live action and stop-motion animation. The director calls the style “spiritual surrealism.” Opening in New York City with scattered single-night screenings across the country through the fall. Glitch in the Grid official site.
Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011): Psychological thriller about the mental struggles of woman who has escaped from a cult trying to adjust to “real” society. Reviews are excellent, making us think it’s weirdness must be fairly mild. Martha Marcy May Marlene official site.
FILM FESTIVALS: FETISCH FILM FESTIVAL (Oct. 25-29, Kiel, Germany):
If you’re into S&M and outré erotica, Kiel, Germany is the place to be in October. Amongst the dominatrix documentaries and soft porn bondage features, the Fetish Film Festival will also be screening a few very weird films:
Maximum Shame – Read our capsule review. The world’s only “apocalyptic fetish horror musical chess sci-fi weird feature movie.” Oct. 26.
Planet Diva – Self-aware mock-grindhouse movies are the latest fad for low-budget producers; this short looks to be the weirdest of the genre screening here. Oct. 26.
Sleeping Beauty – From Australia comes this modern folktale that sounds like it has more to do with The House of Sleeping Beauties than with the classic fairy tale. Julia Leigh’s feminist “Wonder Cinema” film has been making a name by playing every festival that will book it. Oct. 29.
VigasioSexploitation -The synopsis begins, “an egg from outer space infects the villagers of Vigasio…” and only gets weirder from there. Starring a man-pig and a naked woman with a soapbox covering her head. The movie is available for free download from the official site (adults only, obviously). There’s also a VigasioSexploitation, Vol. 2 (not downloadable, but will be shown at the festival). Oct. 26.
Untitled Snow WhiteFeature (est. 2012): It promises to bring a “dark twist” to the Snow White legend. The presence of icons of conventionality Julia Roberts (as the Evil Queen) and Nathan Lane in the cast gives up pause, but director Tarsem Singh has gone weird in the past (The Cell, The Fall). Untitled Snow White on IMDB.
Upstream Color (est. 2012): After making a splash with the microbudgeted mindbender Primer, engineer-turned-filmmaker Shane Carruth disappeared off the radar, but word has it he’s back with a new project (one that’s described, partly, as a romance). Chud.com appears to have broken the news, though they don’t have many details. Even more interesting than the Color confirmation is the news that his script A Topiary (which concerns a “mysterious box” and may be a sequel of sorts to Primer) is still alive, with an estimated release date of 2013. (Assist to Pussy Goes Grrr for bringing this story to our attention).
NEW ON DVD:
The Bulgarian Prophet (2011?): Unpretentiously animated satire about a Bulgarian immigrant who becomes an unlikely prophet after being struck by a meteor during the hippie era. Creator Yavor Batchev calls it “an amalgam of Eugene Ionesco, Boris Vian and Kafka” and from the trailer it appears to take (equal?) shots at both the East and the West. Apparently a one-man show, thanks to the marvels of modern technology; it’s being sold via the author’s website for $14.95 + shipping for a DVD or a $5.95 download. The Bulgarian Prophet official site.
The Last Circus [Balada Triste de Trompeta] (2010): Read our capsule review. We declared this tale of warring clowns in Franco’s Spain not weird, but we won’t blame you if you want to check it out anyway. Buy The Last Circus.
Satan Hates You (2009): Read our capsule review. We were one of the very first outlets to review this film, and it seems like we’ve been waiting forever for this Jack-Chick-tract-come-to-life to finally come out so we can prove we didn’t dream it. Buy Satan Hates You.
NEW ON BLU-RAY:
The Clowns (1970): The seldom-seen Federico Fellini “documentary,” made for Italian television, exploring the weird director’s obsession with clowns. Parts are scripted (thus the quotes around “documentary”). Buy The Clowns [Blu-ray].
The Crow (1994): A rock musician returns from the dead as a goth spirit to wreak vengeance on the street gang that killed him and his fiancée. A simple, but extremely atmospheric, graphic novel adaptation, the movie is unfortunately best known for the death of rising star Brandon (son of Bruce) Lee, who was tragically killed when a prop gun was accidentally left loaded. Buy The Crow [Blu-ray].
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (Ultimate Collectors Edition) (1971): This psychedelic and very frightening children’s story sees foppish candyman Wonka (a brilliant Gene Wilder) and his gang of moralizing orange dwarfs knock off disobedient children one by one. The set comes in a commemorative tin box and (natch) contains a replica of a Golden Ticket along with a 144 page (!) booklet, a Blu-ray copy of the movie with hi-def extras, and a DVD copy of the movie with (different) standard-def extras. Buy Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (Ultimate Collector’s Edition).
FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:
We’re not linking any YouTube movies this week, but we’re using this space to remind you of the VigasioSexploitation free download (IPod or torrent) mentioned above in the Fetisch Film Festival rundown. If you do download and watch it, be sure to tell us what you think!
What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.
We’re not the hugest Halloween promoters around these parts (Paul Lynde specials aside). We cover more than our share of scary stuff year round in the normal course of duty, so, while we’ll acknowledge the celebration on the day in question, but we generally prefer to go about our regular business without bending to seasonal themes. Still, largely by chance, we do have a horrific slate of movies upcoming next week. First off, though, we’ll mention the one article that has nothing whatsoever to do with the upcoming holiday: a distinguished guest will drop in with a review of Andrei Zvyagintsev’s Tarkovsky-esque drama The Banishment (2007), which will set the record for the longest and most in-depth movie analysis ever published on 366. On a more terrifying note, we’ll have coverage of drug-abusing med students who find themselves raped to death whenever they find Someone’s Knocking on the Door (2009), we’ll visit a sleazy boardinghouse dripping with pyschosexual anxiety in Paul Bartel‘s Private Parts (1972), and we’ll throw in an annotated filmography of the great Bela Lugosi as a companion piece to our similar examination of the great Boris Karloff.
How can we be getting more and more Google hits every day, but encountering fewer and fewer truly deranged search terms? It make the search for a Weirdest Search Term of the Week a true challenge. We’re sometimes forced to nominate strings that are only odd if you read them the way they’re written rather than the way they’re intended: stuff like “burgess meredith threatening penguin.” Then there are the seemingly simple searches like “weird pink teenage girl” that make you wonder just slightly what the searcher was actually hoping to find. And of course, you can always count on the kinky searchers to come up with something unexpectedly bizarre, like the guy looking for “TRAMPS AND HOBOS PORN” (mild bonus points granted due to the urgency implied by his all-caps demand). We’ll dip again into the pervert basket to bring us our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week: “she has to breastfeed monster video.” Yeah, we know it’s not that strange, but do you see what we have to work with here?
Here’s the ridiculously long and continually growing reader-suggested review queue: Private Parts (1972) (next week!); Kairo [AKA Pulse]; Saddest Music in the World; Mulholland Drive; The American Astronaut; Blood Tea and Red Strings; The Films of Kenneth Anger, Vol. II (for Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE→
A look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…
Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.
IN THEATERS (LIMITED RELEASE):
Bombay Beach: Footage of three residents of the decaying Salton Sea region—a bipolar boy, a high school athlete fleeing gang violence, and a retired oil-rig worker—is mixed with musical montages from Beirut and Bob Dylan to create what the makers describe as a “slightly surreal documentary experience.” The screening order goes like this: New York this week, L.A. next week, DVD afterwards. Bombay Beach official site.
The Skin I Live In [La piel que habito]: Pedro Almodovar (who has never gone fully weird, but is always off-center) delivers a mad scientist revenge movie with significant superficial similarities to the Certified Weird Eyes Without a Face. The power of Antonio Banderas got this released in New York and L.A. this week, with scattered showings through the middle of the country in the months to follow. The Skin I Live In official site.
FILM FESTIVALS: TORONTO AFTER DARK (Toronto, Canada, Oct. 20-27)
One of the worlds most important horror-themed film festivals. This year’s lineup didn’t blow us away with its audacity or weirdness, but here are a few interesting titles:
Love – a man alone on a spaceship orbiting earth slowly loses his mind; there are Civil War battle scenes. The producers are proud of the score by Angels & Airwaves. Screens Oct. 23.
Monster Brawl – horror comedy featuring a werewolf, vampire, zombie, etc. fighting it out in a wrestling ring. Almost a guaranteed crowd-pleaser. Screens Oct. 20.
The Theatre Bizarre – A six-film horror anthology from directors Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Jeremy Kasten, Tom Savini, and Richard Stanley. Apparently Hussain’s segment is surreal. Screens Oct. 23
Night of the Demon (Maria’s B-Movie Mayhem) (1980): Not to be confused with Jacques Tourner’s 1957 witchcraft classic, this Night of the Demon is an almost unreleased 1980 oddity mixing Bigfoot and black magic, with some of the most laughably inept gore effects ever seen onscreen. Or, as the Amazon “Editorial Review” inspiringly puts it, it’s a movie about “a psychodic [sic] Bigfoot on a killing rampage” that “has some of the goriest death scene!” Hosted by WWE Diva and Playboy Playmate Maria Kanellis. A true horror for Halloween. Buy Maria’s B-Movie Mayhem–Night of the Demon.
Night Patrol (1984)/The Wrong Guys (1988): Night Patrol is an spectacularly, unbelievably unfunny attempt by the uber-untalented Jackie Kong to make an Airplane! style spoof set in a police station. But what a weird cast: Pat Paulsen, Linda Blair, Billy Barty, Pat Morita and “The Gong Show”‘s Unknown Comic! The Wrong Guys, on the other hand, stars Louie Anderson, Richard Belzer, Richard Lewis, and John Goodman—and yet, you’ve never heard of it. What does that tell you? From Image Entertainment, it’s the perfect double feature for anyone who hates comedy and longs to see it spat upon and defiled. Buy Night Patrol/The Wrong Guys.
No Reason (2010): A woman wakes up from a bath in a pile of severed limbs with a mysterious figure promising to lead her to the white light; nudity and graphic gore follow. There are no English language reviews of this yet but from what I can tell from the Germans and the trailer, its brutal, confusing, and probably not very good. Buy No Reason.
“Snuff Box: The Complete Series” (2006): This dark and bizarre BBC Comedy about two executioners who travel through time meeting prostitutes of various eras and breaking into random songs lasted one season (six episodes) before the censors had enough. Fans of Chris Morris’ “Jam” may be interested in this one. Co-creator Rich Fulcher went on to write and perform the similarly absurd series “The Mighty Boosh,” while his partner Matt Berry worked on “The IT Crowd. “Buy “Snuff Box: The Complete Series”.
NEW ON BLU-RAY:
Boccaccio ’70 (1962): An Italian short film anthology wherein Vittorio De Sica, Luchino Visconti, and Federico Fellini direct Sophia Loren, Romy Schneider, and Anita Eckberg in naughty (for the time) vignettes. It’s of some interest to weirdophiles because of Fellini’s segment featuring Eckberg as a milk-selling billboard temptress mocking a moralist. A fourth story by Mario Monicelli was originally cut for reasons of running time but has been restored for this release. Buy Boccaccio ’70 [Blu-ray].
“Tales from Beyond the Pale, Season 1”: Ten thirty minute horror stories spread across 5 CDs, recalling the old days of radio plays (this writer is old enough to have actually been glued to the radio, terrified, while hearing a rendition of Poe’s “The Black Cat” read on CBS Mystery Theater). The likes of Larry Fessenden and Graham Reznick direct the voice talents of Ron Perlman, Doug Jones, Angus Scrimm, James Le Gros and more. A singularly spooky way to celebrate the season. Buy “Tales From Beyond The Pale, Season One”.
FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:
Dracula [Bram Stoker’s Dracula] (1992): Read our capsule review. Francis Ford Coppola‘s visually overheated Dracula adaptation is a fun fever dream, and could have been a real classic—if not for Keanu! This was one of the first major films the studios offered for free on YouTube; when it was quickly withdrawn, we thought the experiment of offering quality entertainment for free had been scrapped. But now Dracula‘s back, and free YouTube seems like it’s here to stay… Watch Dracula free on YouTube.
What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.
Here’s what the lineup looks like for next week: we’ll take a look at the odd, recently re-released adult-infant thriller The Baby (1973) and the experimental Portuguese drag queen drama To Die Like a Man (2010). And, what would October be without a nostalgic look back at that 70s favorite, “The Paul Lynde Halloween Special”? (Normal?) We’ll throw another review in there too, but we’re not 100% sure what it will be—possibilities include the (relatively) star-studded post-apocalyptic fantasy Bunraku (2010) or the star-less (and bodiless) sleazy grindhouse favorite The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (1962).
Either it’s a weak season for weird search terms, or we’re just becoming jaded to the flood of odd Google searches that flood our servers every week. We suspect a search strings like “psychotronic fascism – the reality of our time” or “366 black pharaonic stones” would stun most webmasters with their otherworldliness, but they barely cause us to raise a collective eyebrow. We do wonder about the stories behind some of these weird queries, though. Did the guy searching for “contrasting monologues – creepy cannibal monologues” have an audition coming up for the lead role in a cannibal movie? Also noteworthy: “the happy hooker meets rex the wonder horse” (we’re pretty sure this one was never made, and we’re afraid its too late now) and “no no no weird movie.” Still, the fact that it was a lean week for weird search terms gives us the opportunity to finally award the coveted title of “Weirdest Search Term of the Week” to that old chestnut, horse,” “wierd lumpy movie short,” which has received an honorable mention a record seven weeks in a row. Congratulations to horse,” “wierd lumpy movie short,” which now moves into the Weird Search Terms Hall of Fame and is hereby retired from future competition.
Here’s the absurdly long list of absurd movies suggested for review by our crazy readers: The Baby (jumping ahead in line); Kairo [AKA Pulse]; Private Parts (1972); Saddest Music in the World; Mulholland Drive; The American Astronaut; Blood Tea and Red Strings; The Films of Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE→
Celebrating the cinematically surreal, bizarre, cult, oddball, fantastique, strange, psychedelic, and the just plain WEIRD!
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