Shameless plug time: 366’s own Alfred Eaker is a producer on this, the “world’s first comedy-horror soap opera!” Starring twins Camille and Kennerly Kitt as Creeporia. Due out this holiday season (more info when available).

Creeporia official site.

Pick out your weird movie Halloween costume and come join us for a virtual party in the forums.

So, what will we be reviewing next week? We don’t exactly know. We can say you’ll see coverage of It’s in the Blood, a new psychological horror starring Lance Henriksen, and more Val Lewton with the evocative I Walked With a Zombie (it’s “Jane Eyre” in Haiti with zombies—really!) You can also count on two out of three of the following: the in-theaters-now Silent Hill sequel Silent Hill: Revelations, Derek Jarman‘s way avant-garde collage film The Last of England (1988),  or the “lost” science fiction classic World on a Wire (1973), a paranoid German television movie that scooped The Matrix by a couple of decades.

We’ll start our review of the week’s weirdest search terms used to locate the site with a riddle: “to a birds eye i’m a snake to a child’s im a toy to a adults eyes im a machine.” Google has no idea what the answer is, do you? We don’t, so we more on to more conventionally weird searches like “big old man clocks old women smoll poses.” Hmm, we’ve go no answer for that one either… was there a question there? Moving on, we come to the portmanteau query “ads not by this site bombshells demystified – wild at heart porn.” “Bombshells demystified” would have been weird enough on its own, but flanked by “ads not by this site” and “wild at heart porn” it becomes the bizarre meat in a very odd sandwich. It came close to being our Weirdest Search Term of the Week, but we decided to go instead with “films for young people as they have sex on the buttocks ladies inside transport in europe.” What can we say—we’re suckers for buttocks-related weird search terms!

Here’s how the ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: The Hour-glass Sanatorium [Saanatorium pod klepsidra]; Liquid Sky (re-review); Society; Final Programme; “Foutaises”; Bloodsucking Freaks; Lost Highway; Valerie and Her Week of Wonders (official Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →

Our weekly look at what’s weird in theaters, on hot-off-the-presses DVDs, and on more distant horizons…

Trailers of new release movies are generally available on the official site links.

IN THEATERS (WIDE RELEASE):

Silent Hill: Revelation: Belated sequel to the unexpectedly weird 2006 video game adaptation; the unhelpful plot synopsis describes a trip into a “strange and terrifying alternate reality.” It’s in 3D and there were no advance screenings for critics; we’ll keep an open mind, but neither of those facts inspire a lot of confidence. Silent Hill: Revelation official site.

NEW ON DVD:

Dropping Evil (2012): A nerd massacres his friends when he sees their true nature after they dose him with LSD as a prank; a corporation and Christian fundamentalists also fit in somehow. With Troma scream queen Tiffany Shepis and Fred “the Hammer” Williamson in a small role. Buy Dropping Evil.

Shatter Dead (1994): Read our capsule review. From what we can tell, this SRS release is an exact duplicate of the out-of-print Sub Rosa release, including the three separate commentary tracks (!) on this low-budget zombie art movie. Buy Shatter Dead.

NEW ON BLU-RAY:

The Penalty (1920): Read our review. This silent amputee crime melodrama is an interesting choice for a Kino Blu-ray release; it shows how deep the format’s catalog is starting to get. Buy The Penalty [Blu-ray].

NEW ON INSTANT VIDEO:

The Devil’s Carnival (2012): Repo! The Genetic Opera fans will want to check out this followup rock musical, which is a sort of variation on Dante’s Inferno with Hell as a circus. This 56 minute episode with original songs is the first of a planned series of yet undetermined length. Rent The Devil’s Carnival.

FREE (LEGITIMATE RELEASE) MOVIES ON YOUTUBE:

The Horrors of Spider Island (1960): Read the Certified Weird entry. Just in time for Halloween! Horrors include an interminable dance audition sequence, bad dubbing, and buxom German women frolicking in homemade palm frond bikinis.

What are you looking forward to? If you have any weird movie leads that I have overlooked, feel free to leave them in the COMMENTS section.

On November 3, 2010, we originally published our 69th Certified Weird movie review: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. On November 4th, 2010, servers at our previous host crashed and we lost everything; we were able to restore almost everything from backups, but the Fear and Loathing review was lost. Now, almost two years later, we’ve recreated that entry from scratch, restoring Fear and Loathing to full standing in the Certified Weird universe. Please, read the new entry here, and thanks for your patience.

First, an announcement for those who don’t constantly keep tabs on the tabs menu at the top of the page: there’s a new tab we’ve tabbed “Forum.” If you follow that link you’ll find two new message boards: “What Was That Weird Movie?” (which we hope will be a better organized version of the page of the same name) and “General Chat.” These are places where you, the readers at home, can start your own discussion topics and meet up with like minded weirdos. Come and join early adopter Cameron Jorgensen in the General Chat forum, and when we’re as famous as 4chan you’ll be able to say you were there at the beginning. We consider this feature still in “beta,” but we haven’t noticed any bugs or serious problems with it yet (fingers crossed!)

Back to regular business: our review slate for next week begins with the budget-surrealism feature This Is Not a Movie (2011). Then, we’ll set out on the surreal seas with two weird nautical features: Raoul Ruiz’ Three Crowns of the Sailor (1983) (via the reader-suggested review queue) and the Beatles Yellow Submarine (1968). Alfred will return us to solid ground for his continuing Halloween-season coverage of the great Val Lewton with 1944’s Curse of the Cat People.

We’ll start off our survey of the weirdest search terms used to locate the site this week with one that proves that a single letter can make the difference between a pretty reasonable Google query and a startlingly strange one: “pie predicting stock market movie.” (In case you don’t get it, this is what the searcher was looking for). Our runner-up for Weirdest Search Term of the Week is the incomprehensible “the film of the woman remember her bast when take her bath” (Google helpfully suggests the searcher meant to type “the film of the woman remember her breast when take her bath,” which is only slightly more coherent). But the official winner makes even less sense: “1. who wrote the diary? 2. why did robin decide to write a diary? ответы.” “ответы” means “answers” in Russian, but it seems a bit odd that the second question appears to answer the first—and why ask the questions in English if the searcher is a Russian speaker? We may never know the ответы to these questions, which is what makes this our Weirdest Search Term of the Week.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Three Crowns of the Sailor (next week!); The Hour-glass Sanatorium [Saanatorium pod klepsidra]; Liquid Sky (re-review); Society; Final Programme; “Foutaises”; Bloodsucking Freaks; Lost Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE →