In just a few hours, the telecast of the Oscars (or, as we refer to them, the “Weirdcademy Awards for squares”) will begin. We are happy to steal the Academy’s thunder by announcing cinema’s weirdest winners of 2019 now.

In the category of “Weirdest Short Film,” the winner is Nadia Lee Cohen for “Future Beach.”

In the category of “Weirdest Scene,” the Weirdcademy Award goes to The Lighthouse, for the final shot. Those who have seen it know that the scene elicited a lot of loud “WTF”s from the audience—even from those with a background in classical mythology. So we won’t spoil it for those who have yet to see the film. (The still below comes from the second-to-last-scene.)

In the category of “Weirdest Actress,” the Award goes to Aleksandra Cwen (below, left) in Hagazussa, as the creepy gal on the mountain who keeps mom’s skull on the mantle and masturbates around goats.

In the category of “Weirdest Actor,” the Award goes to Willem Dafoe, in The Lighthouse, for introducing himself with a fart and for starting his monologues with “Hark, Triton!”

https://youtu.be/C8yeo32thiI

And finally, the award for Weirdest Picture of 2019 goes to… drum roll… The Lighthouse, in a cakewalk.

Thanks to all voting members of the Weirdcademy, and see you again next year!