Readers should never forget that, if you don’t like the movies we’re reviewing (or if we’re a little slow getting to your favorites), you can always submit your own reader recommendations. We’ll prove it next week by publishing a reader’s take on Paul Thomas Anderson‘s oddball romantic comedy Punch-Drunk Love (widely considered to be the only truly good movie that modern-day Jerry Lewis, Adam Sandler, has made). From the reader-suggested review queue, Scott Sentinella will take a stab at Edward Scissorhands, while G. Smalley feels an attack of Vertigo coming upon him. On the less weird side of cinema, Alfred Eaker returns to the cineplex to face off against another summer blockbuster: how will Edge of Tomorrow fare under his critical eye?
People sure have some weird memories of long-forgotten movies. Although we like to help people track these down at our sister site, irememberthismovie.com, we also can’t help but hijack some of the odder Google requests we see to highlight them in our long-running weekly series,”Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” We’ll start off with the merely ridiculous: ” “80s movie where something electric comes down from sky.” (It’s called “lightning”). Moving on, we come to awfully strange searches that we suspect may nonetheless refer to real movies, however badly expressed; stuff like “movie from 80’s where a man has sex with a woman at a bar while the other uses a leaf” or “a film where a man goes to find clues about his ancestors who lived underground with no legs and different colored eyes and he found his fat sister.” And then there are those special searches that are simultaneously bizarre, probably misremembered, and composed by people for whom the English language is a passing hobby rather than a feasible means of communication. Stuff like “vampire 5sisters and baboon in spanish 13th ceturionmideval,” which earns its place as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week (if anyone knows of an actual movie about a vampire and his five sisters and baboon in 13th century Spain, we’d be happy to review it).
Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue currently stands: Edward Scissorhands (next week!); Abnormal: The Sinema of Nick Zedd; Rubin & Ed; The Real McCoy; Themroc; Candy (1968); The Fox Family; Midnight Skater; Angelus; Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs; Yokai Monsters, Vol. 1: Spook Warfare [AKA Big Monster War]; Britannia Hospital; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; Piano Tuner of Earthquakes; Bubba Ho-Tep; Innocence; Léolo; 2001: A Space Odyssey; Blue Velvet; ID (2005); Master of the Flying Guillotine; Yesterday Was a Lie; The Ninth Configuration; Love Me If You Dare; The Cell; My Dinner with Andre; The Illustrated Man; Fando y Lis; Rampo Noir; Head; Christmas on Mars; “Broken Glass”; Air Doll; The Ossuary and Other Tales; Arrebato; Symbol; Wicked City (1992 live action); Picnic at Hanging Rock; The Cars that Ate Paris; The Boxer’s Omen [aka Mo]; Portrait of Jennie; Salo, the 120 Days of Sodom; The Last Sunset (1961); Orpheus (1950); A Scanner Darkly; Safe; The Atrocity Exhibition; Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell; Color of Pomegranates; Noroi; Cutie Honey; The Shape of Things; On the Silver Globe; Monty Python and the Holy Grail; 2012 Aficionado DVD Zine Issue #0; The Last Days of Planet Earth; “Charleston Parade”; A Snake of June; The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover; The Neverending Story; Cat Soup; Jack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); Drowning by Numbers; Fudge 44; The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Meet the Hollowheads; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Grendel Grendel; Eyes Wide Shut; Twilight of the Cockroaches; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie; Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); Parents; Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters; 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil Doll; Multiple Maniacs; Phantasm IV; Vermilion Souls (2007) (depending on availability); Lovers on the Bridge; No Smoking (2007); Reflections of Evil; The War Zone; Gahjini; Natural Born Killers; The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb; One Eyed Monster; Reflections of Evil; Natural Born Killers; The Fountain; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); Wool 100%; Murder Party; The Annunciation (1984); Funeral Parade of Roses; Stroszek; Bad Taste; Aguirre, the Wrath of God; Audition; The Fall; Me and You and Everyone We Know; Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; “Serial Experiments: Lain” (TV show); Darc Arc; Genius Party; Tampopo; The Idiots; Der Todersking [The Death King]; Titicut Follies; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability); Sleepaway Camp; The Pit (1981); Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams; The Falls; Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; Perfect Blue; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius; Skeletons; Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song; The Brave Little Toaster; The Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Meet the Feebles; The Adventures of Mark Twain; Tourist Trap (1979); Thundercrack!; SLC Punk; Anguish (1987); Buddy Boy (1999); Bliss (1985); La cicatrice intérieure; Avida (2006); Amazon Women on the Moon; Chronopolis; Blue (1993); Metropia; Zachariah; Labyrinth; Battle in Heaven; The Taste of Tea; Evil Ed; I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse; Cafe Flesh; Buffet Froid; Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam [AKA Turkish Star Wars]; The Signal; “Alma” (short); The Double Life of Veronique; “Chick”, Felidae; Spirited Away; Decasia (2002); Killdozer; I (heart) Huckabees; Electric Dragon 80,000 V; Santa Claus (1959); Strange Circus; Mad Detective; Wild at Heart; Revolver; The Tenant; A Zed and Two Noughts; Litan (1982) (depending on availability); Dark Waters; La Razon de Mi Vida (pending English language DVD release); The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea; Bernie (1996) ( depending on availability); The Ruling Class; Tank Girl; Things (1989); Hair Extensions; Haggard; Svidd neger (depending on availability); RoboGeisha; Schramm; Executive Koala; Coonskin; Time Masters; Hard Candy; Waiting for Godot (2001); Crash (1996); La Dolce Vita; La Cravate; Spirits of the Air, Gremlins of the Clouds (depending on availability); Last Year in Marienbad; Alphaville; Savages; Big River Man; Heart of Glass; Little Deaths; L’Ange; La Teta y La Luna; Finisterrae; L’Âge d’or; Breakfast of Champions; Heavenly Creatures; Vase de Noces; Lucky; Ichi the Killer; La antena; Mystics in Bali; Feherlofia; Versus; Birth of the Overfiend; A Dog Called Pain; Memento Mori; That Deadwood Feeling; Happiness; Let the Right One In; Porcile [AKA Pigpen]; Underground; Caligula; Hotel (2004); Hardgore; Survive Style 5+; Philosophy of a Knife; The Last Movie; Lord Love a Duck; Amarcord; The Swimmer (official re-review); I Married a Strange Person; Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale; The Canadian Films of Paul Driessen; And The Ship Sails On; Mondo Trasho; Marat/Sade; Darjeeling Limited; Space Thang; Drunken Wu Tang; Insidious (2010); The Earl Sessions (2011); Sitcom; They Came Back, Prometheus’ Garden, “Harpya”; Bruce Lee vs. Gay Power; Dumplings; Return to Oz; “Star Maidens”; “The Mighty Boosh”; The Element of Crime; Lo; Roller Blade; “The Act of Seeing With One’s Own Eyes”; Mind Game (2004); Down and Dirty Duck; Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure; Dante’s Inferno; Bad Timing (AKA Bad Timing: A Sensual Obsession); Troll 2; Calamari Wrestler; Death Powder (1986); Big Man Japan (official review); Angel in the Flesh: The Confidential Report on Mr. Dennis Duggan aka The King of Super 8 (if it’s released; the director says it might be); Static; “The Big Shave”; Incubus; W.R.-Mysteries of the Organism; Marebito; The Appointment (1981); “The Big Shave,” Pierrot Le Fou; The Cement Garden; Visions of Suffering; Singapore Sling (re-review); Koyaanisqatsi; Uzumaki [AKA Spiral] (official re-review); All That Jazz; Hanger (2009); “Analog”; Daymaker; Nails; Monobloc (2005); Big Time; “Slow Bob in the Lower Dimensions”; Vakvagany; Momo (1986); Organ; Dance with the Devil; Frankestein Meets the Space Monster; “Alicia”; Space Is the Place (official review); Killer Nun; The Beyond; The Nine Lives of Thomas Katz; Ascension; Mind Last Life in the Universe; Brick; Wax, or The Discovery of Television Among the Bees; Bliss (1985); Creatures of Destiny; Strange Circus; Goodbye 20th Century; Conspirators of Pleasure; Boxing Helena; Chappaqua; The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai; Man Facing Southeast;City of Pirates; Pink Narcissus; 11:14; Teknolust; Dark Side of the Heart; Period Piece; “One Soldier”; Thriller: A Cruel Picture; Phantom of the Paradise; The Million Dollar Hotel; Peeping Tom; Diamond Flash; Green Snake; The 10th Victim, City of Women, Anatomy of Hell, Christ the Movie; Pola X; Phase IV; Welcome to the Dollhouse; No Smoking; Berberian Sound Studio; L’Inferno (1911); Heartbeeps; Bibliotheque Pascal; Marutirtha Hinglaj; A Pure Formality; The Mysterians; Rock n’ Roll High School; Possession (re-review); Johnny Aquarius; Confessions of a Dangerous Mind; If…; Citizen Dog; Of Freaks and Men; “The Brothers Quay Collection”; Criminal Lovers; The Cat in the Hat; The Sea That Thinks; Angst; In Search of the Titanic; Creating Rem Lezar; I Think We’re Alone Now; Hugo the Hippo; Edward II (Jarman); Wild Tigers I Have Known; I Never Left the White Room; Faust: Love of the Damned; King Lear (1987); Daughter of Horror; Alien Alibi; The Pornographers; Paperhouse; La Cabina; Kung Pow: Way of the Fist; Four Rooms; Point Blank (1967); The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari; The Shining; “Afraid So,” Bhoner: The Movie; Mood Indigo; The Passion of Darkly Noon; Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki; Something Weird; Gorod Zero; Death by Hanging; Snow White and Russian Red; Sphere; Tout Va Bien; Flaming Creatures; A Woman’s Face (1941), 8 1/2 Women; Cube; Spirits of the Dead; Nick the Feature Film; In a Glass Cage; Only God Forgives; Nitwit; Homebodies; Celestial Wives Of Meadow Mari; Fiend Without a Face; Fear X; Brand Upon the Brain!; We Are the Strange; Confessions; Monday (depending on availability); Vigasiosexploitation (Vol. 1); The Slit; Tasher Desh; Womb; Burnt Offerings; The Spirit; Surviving Life: Theory and Practice; Galaxy of Terror; Blind Beast; Príncipe Azul (depending on availability); Samgeori Geukjang (AKA Midnight Ballad for Ghost Theater); Andy Warhol’s Dracula [AKA Blood for Dracula]; Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events; Death Powder; As Filhas do Fogo; An American Hippie in Israel; Brain Dead [AKA Dead Alive]; The Killing Room; Fiend (1980); Strangers in Paradise (1984); Night of the Lepus; Vinyan; Fellini’s Cassanova; Suddenly Last Summer; Idaho Transfer; The Twonky; Emperor Tomato Ketchup; eXistenZ; Frontier; Where the Dead Go to Die; Kárate a muerte en Torremolinos (depending on availability); Dentention; The Fifth Season; The Chumscrubber; Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things; Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou; Junkie (2012); The End of Evangelion; Gandu; Overdrawn at the Memory Bank; Dead Mountaineer’s Hotel; Excision; Lemora: A Child’s Tale of the Supernatural; A Spell to Ward Off the Darkness; Takeshis’; Om Dar-B-Dar; Nymphomaniac; Live Freaky! Die Freaky!; Mécanix; Lucia (2013); Che strano chiamarsi Federico [How Strange to be Named Frederico] (2013); Cannibal! the Musical; A Quiet Place in the Country; James and the Giant Peach; Marketa Lazarova; Wings of Desire; House (1986); and The Living and the Dead.
OUT OF PRINT/NOT YET ON REGION 1 DVD HOLDING PEN: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review), Celine and Julie Go Boating.