WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

You the people have spoken, and we heard your voices: look for the promised ascension of ‘s gangsters-in-a-haunted-house melodrama Keyhole to the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies ever made next week. Along with that much-anticipated entry, we’ll throw in less-expected reviews of ‘s surreal supernatural sequel Phantasm IV and the classic drama Wild Strawberries. All that and more await you as the summer heats up (here in the Northern Hemisphere, at least).

The Internet’s porn searchers are the meat that keeps 366 Weird Movie’s famous “Weirdest Search Term of the Week” contest alive. So many of their searches are unprintable in a family publication such as this, but fortunately poor spelling frequently transforms the perverse into the puzzling, as is the case with our first contestant: “weird girls who have 3titiy free movies pron.” Also, we’re pretty sure “hairy netload” refers to something dirty, though we can’t figure out what it is to save our lives. Finally, “i can’t find a porn movie where her neighbour is having sex” strikes us as frankly unbelievable; you, sir, are the worst porn searcher in history. Still, despite all that would-be filth, we’ll name the remarkably clean “quote from movie full of grace! full of grace!! weird movie about boy and a talking nun statue full of grace full of grace” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, more because of the formulation—-the needless repetition and the excited punctuation—than the content (BTW, we think the movie they’re looking for is probably Pecker.)

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” The Magic Christian; Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T; Abnormal: The Sinema of Nick Zedd; Robot Monster; Nightdreams; 3 Women; “To Oblivion”; Rubin & Ed; Teeth; Vera; Garden State; The Real McCoy; Rat Pfink a Boo Boo; Themroc; Candy (1968); Run Lola Run; Pink Flamingos; Buffalo ’66Northfork; The Room; Glen or Glenda?; Night of the Hunter; The Fox FamilyMidnight Skater; Angelus; Cloudy with a Chance of  Meatballs; Twister (1989); Yokai Monsters, Vol. 1: Spook Warfare [AKA Big Monster War]; Britannia Hospital; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; Piano Tuner of Earthquakes; Clean, Shaven; Bubba Ho-TepInnocenceLéolo; 2001: A Space Odyssey; Blue Velvet; ID (2005); Master of the Flying Guillotine; Yesterday Was a Lie; The Ninth Configuration; Love Me If You Dare; The Cell; My Dinner with Andre; The Illustrated Man; Fando y Lis; Rampo Noir; Head; Christmas on Mars; “Broken Glass”; Videodrome; Air Doll; The Ossuary and Other Tales; Arrebato; Symbol; Wicked City (1992  live action); Picnic at Hanging Rock; The Cars that Ate Paris; The Boxer’s Omen [aka Mo];  Portrait of Jennie; Salo, the 120 Days of  Sodom; The Last Sunset (1961); Orpheus (1950); A Scanner Darkly; Safe; The Atrocity Exhibition; Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell; Color of Pomegranates; Noroi; Cutie Honey; The Shape of Things; On the Silver Globe; Monty Python and the Holy Grail; 2012 Aficionado DVD Zine Issue #0; The Last Days of Planet Earth;  “Charleston Parade”; Tales from the Quadead Zone; A Snake of  June; The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover; The Neverending Story; Cat Soup; Jack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); Drowning by Numbers; Fudge 44; From Beyond; The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Meet the Hollowheads; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Grendel GrendelEyes Wide Shut; Twilight of the Cockroaches; The Ruling Class; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia];  The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie; Daisies; Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); Parents; Dark City; Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters; 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil DollMultiple Maniacs; Phantasm IV; and Vermilion Souls (2007) (depending on availability); Lovers on the Bridge; No Smoking (2007); Reflections of Evil; The War Zone; Gahjini; Natural Born Killers; The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb; One Eyed Monster; Reflections of Evil; Natural Born Killers; The Fountain; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); Wool 100%; Murder Party; The Annunciation (1984); Funeral Parade of Roses; Stroszek; Bad Taste; Aguirre, the Wrath of God; Audition; The Fall; Me and You and Everyone We Know; Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; “Serial Experiments: Lain” (TV show); Darc Arc; Russian Ark; Genius Party; Watership Down; Tampopo; Goodbye Uncle Tom; The Idiots; Repo Man; Der Todersking [The Death King]; Titicut Follies; Mr. Nobody; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability); Sleepaway Camp; The Pit (1981); Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams; The Falls; Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; Perfect Blue; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; The Bothersome Man; Moebius; Skeletons; Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song; The Brave Little Toaster; The Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Meet the Feebles; The Adventures of Mark Twain; Tourist Trap (1979); Thundercrack!; SLC Punk; Anguish (1987); Buddy Boy (1999); Bliss (1986); La cicatrice intérieure; Avida (2006); Brain Damage; Amazon Women on the Moon; Chronopolis; Blue (1993); Metropia; Zachariah; Labyrinth; Battle in Heaven; The Taste of Tea; Evil Ed; I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse; Cafe Flesh; Buffet Froid; Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam [AKA Turkish Star Wars]; The Signal; “Alma” (short); The Double Life of Veronique;  “Chick”, Felidae; Spirited Away; Decasia (2002); Killdozer; I (heart) HuckabeesElectric Dragon 80,000 VSanta Claus (1959); Strange Circus; Mad Detective; Wild at Heart; Revolver; The Tenant; A Zed and Two Noughts; Litan (1982) (depending on availability); Dark Waters; La Razon de Mi Vida (pending English language DVD release); The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea; Bernie (1996) ( depending on availability); The Ruling Class; Tank Girl; Things (1989); Hair Extensions; Haggard; Svidd neger (depending on availability); RoboGeisha; Schramm; Executive KoalaCoonskin; Time Masters; Hard Candy; Waiting for Godot (2001); Crash (1996); La Dolce Vita; La Cravate; Spirits of the Air, Gremlins of the Clouds (depending on availability); Last Year in Marienbad; Alphaville; Savages; Big River Man; Heart of Glass; Little Deaths; Akira; L’Ange; La Teta y La Luna; Finisterrae; L’Âge d’or; Breakfast of Champions; Heavenly Creatures; Vase de Noces; Lucky; Ichi the Killer; La antena; Mystics in Bali; Feherlofia; Versus; Birth of the Overfiend; A Dog Called Pain; Memento Mori; That Deadwood Feeling; Happiness; Let the Right One In; Porcile [AKA Pigpen]; Underground; Caligula; Hotel (2004); Hardgore; Survive Style 5+; Fantasia; Philosophy of a Knife; The Last Movie; Lord Love a Duck; Amarcord; The Swimmer (official re-review); I Married a Strange Person; Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale; The Canadian Films of Paul Driessen; And The Ship Sails On; Mondo Trasho; Marat/Sade; Darjeeling LimitedSpace Thang; Drunken Wu Tang; Insidious (2010); The Earl Sessions (2011); Sitcom; They Came Back, Prometheus’ Garden, “Harpya”; Bruce Lee vs. Gay Power; DumplingsReturn to Oz; “Star Maidens”; “The Mighty Boosh”; The Element of Crime; Lo; Roller Blade; “The Act of Seeing With One’s Own Eyes”; Mind Game (2004); Down and Dirty Duck; Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure; Dante’s Inferno; Bad Timing (AKA Bad Timing: A Sensual Obsession); Troll 2; Calamari Wrestler; Death Powder (1986); Big Man Japan (official review); Angel in the Flesh: The Confidential Report on Mr. Dennis Duggan aka The King of Super 8 (if it’s released; the director says it might be); Static; “The Big Shave”; Incubus; W.R.-Mysteries of the Organism; Marebito; The Appointment (1981); “The Big Shave,” Pierrot Le Fou; The Cement Garden; Visions of Suffering; Singapore Sling (re-review); Koyaanisqatsi; In the Mouth of Madness; Uzumaki [AKA Spiral] (official re-review); All That Jazz; Hanger (2009); “Analog”; Daymaker; Nails; Monobloc (2005); Big Time; “Slow Bob in the Lower Dimensions”; Vakvagany; Momo (1986); Organ; Dance with the Devil; Frankestein Meets the Space Monster; “Alicia”; Space Is the Place (official review); Killer Nun; The Beyond; The Nine Lives of Thomas Katz; Ascension; Mind Last Life in the Universe; Street Trash; Brick; Rubber (official re-review); Wax, or The Discovery of Television Among the Bees; Bliss (1985); Creatures of Destiny; Strange Circus; Goodbye 20th Century; Conspirators of Pleasure; Boxing Helena; Chappaqua; The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai; Man Facing Southeast; Night Across the Street; City of Pirates; Pink Narcissus; 11:14; Teknolust; Dark Side of the Heart; Period Piece; “One Soldier”; Thriller: A Cruel Picture; Phantom of the Paradise; The Million Dollar Hotel; Killer Joe, Peeping Tom; Diamond Flash; Green Snake; The 10th Victim, City of Women, Anatomy of Hell, Christ the Movie, Pola X, Phase IV; Welcome to the Dollhouse; No Smoking; “Next Floor”; Berberian Sound Studio; L’Inferno (1911); Heartbeeps; Bibliotheque Pascal; Marutirtha Hinglaj; A Pure Formality; The Mysterians; Branded; Rock n’ Roll High School; Possession (re-review); Johnny Aquarius; Confessions of a Dangerous Mind; If…; Citizen Dog; Of Freaks and Men; “The Brothers Quay Collection”; Criminal Lovers; The Cat in the Hat; The Sea That Thinks; Angst; In Search of the Titanic; Creating Rem Lezar; I Think We’re Alone Now; Hugo the Hippo; Edward II (Jarman); Wild Tigers I Have Known; I Never Left the White Room; Faust: Love of the Damned; King Lear (1987); Daughter of Horror; Alien Alibi; The Pornographers; Paperhouse; La Cabina; Kung Pow: Way of the Fist; Four Rooms; Point Blank (1967); The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari; The Shining; “Afraid So,” Bhoner: The Movie; Wrong; Mood Indigo; The Passion of Darkly Noon; Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki; Something Weird; Gorod Zero; Death by Hanging; Snow White and Russian Red; Sphere; Tout Va Bien; and Flaming Creatures, The Singing Ringing Tree, A Woman’s Face (1941), and 8 1/2 Women.

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