DIRECTED BY: Tom Six
FEATURING: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura
PLOT: A mad doctor turns three people into a human centipede.
WHY IT WON’T MAKE THE LIST: Not weird, just gross.
COMMENTS: There’s something in Hollywood that’s called a “high concept.” It doesn’t mean what you probably think it means. It refers to a plot hook that is so simple it can be compellingly summarized in a single sentence, like “a mad doctor turns three people into a human centipede.” People will buy tickets to see the picture based on that easily digestible premise, so filmmakers can fill the remainder of the movie with whatever supporting crap they need to, just so long as it pads the film out to feature length. The Human Centipede is a perfect example of a high concept horror film. People are seduced into buying a ticket by the idea of seeing a human centipede, never minding the fact that they won’t see anything in the movie they didn’t already imagine when they heard the one sentence summary. After watching the two minute trailer, it seemed like I knew everything that was going to happen in the film, so I was curious to see how director Tom Six would fill up the remaining 88 minutes. The results of my study follow. (Note: there aren’t really any spoilers in the following description, as there’s not enough plot to spoil).
- HORROR MOVIE SETUP WE’VE SEEN 1,000 TIMES BEFORE: Two hot, ditzy American tourists in Holland put on too much eye makeup, sensing that it will make them look cool, sexy and vulnerable when it smears in the rain after they’re caught in a downpour when their car breaks down late at night in a spooky woods and they have to walk to an isolated ranch-style home where a doctor who looks like a Dutch Christopher Walken with acne scars serves them a drugged drink. There is actually one valuable lesson to be learned in this segment: if you’re on a deserted road and find you have to rush into the woods to use the bathroom, don’t do your business right in front of the parked car of the only homicidal maniac to be found in a twenty five kilometer radius. 20 minutes.
- RECOGNITION OF THE HORROR THAT’S ABOUT TO BEFALL THEM: The dastardly villain proves he’s willing to go to any lengths in his villainy. Recapitulating the trailer in case the girls didn’t see it on YouTube, he then shows his helpless victims a helpful Continue reading CAPSULE: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FIRST SEQUENCE) (2009)