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IT CAME FROM THE READER-SUGGESTED QUEUE: THE GREAT MCGONAGALL (1975)

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DIRECTED BY:

FEATURING: , , Julia Foster, John Bluthal, Victor Spinetti, Valentine Dyall, Julian Chagrin, Clifton Jones

PLOT: William Topaz McGonagall, renowned by history as one of the worst-ever practitioners of the art of poetry, recounts his eventful life and demonstrates his inability to distinguish fact from both faulty perception and flights of imagination.

Still from The Great McGonagall (1975)

COMMENTS: Scotsman William McGonagall, poet and self-declared “Knight of the White Elephant of Burmah,” has a sterling reputation as a butcher of words without peer. Works such as his bathetic salute to “The Tay Bridge Disaster” have survived over the decades because of their fierce dedication to repetitiveness, disdain for meter, and tendency toward rambling distraction. He is an avatar for the so-bad-it’s-wonderful crowd, on the shelf alongside Florence Foster Jenkins and Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Spike Milligan is also a British hero, although more intentionally, known as a destroyer of comedic conventions. (His spontaneous takedown of an intended tribute from Prince Charles brought down the house in a room full of Britain’s leading comic lights.) His work on “The Goon Show” is deeply influential, with professed fans ranging from the members of to Eddie Izzard to all four . Despite this, Milligan was never a bona fide star on the level of his old pal Peter Sellers, and his ingrained outsider status (born in India to an Irish father) ensured that he could never attain his country’s highest honors. So perhaps it’s not surprising that this serial puncturer of British pomposity would find some affinity with an artist who made the very upper echelons he hoped to enter look foolish .

And that right there is me putting approximately the same amount of effort into researching this review as Spike Milligan did into prepping for the film. It’s not as though anyone would think Milligan was attempting to perpetrate a proper biography on the public; the goal is obviously jokes and nothing but. Nevertheless, The Great McGonagall is a notably slapdash affair, feeling more like someone gave the improv suggestion “William McGonagall” to a troupe at the Edinburgh Fringe, rather than any real attempt to mine the man’s life for material. Most of the acting company takes on multiple roles throughout the film, and Milligan frequently literalizes the staginess of the production like scenes from a music hall revue, complete with an easel advertising the next act. One has to marvel at the laziness of the enterprise, given that this is an actual motion picture featuring two authentic British comedy legends. They could, you know, try a little.

Milligan offers two modes of joke-telling: non sequiturs, and extensive riffs on the trope of the penny-pinching Scotsman. The former gives the film some of its air of oddness; whenever logic dares to show up, it is quickly stomped out. For example, Prince Albert is notably German, but in Milligan’s hands, he becomes a flat-out pastiche of Adolf Hitler, and so naturally a dance scene is accompanied by an orchestra made up entirely of Hitlers. Or consider the curious case of Alfred, Lord Tennyson, who first appears after McGonagall haughtily compares himself to the acclaimed poet; Tennyson pops in to say that he really can’t be bothered right now, as he’s in the middle of a vigorous session of lovemaking. He’ll show up later (initially alongside five Tennyson impostors) to extol the virtues of McGonagall’s poetry while simultaneously stripping down and climbing into the dying Scotsman’s bed alongside a Zulu chieftain. It is unequivocally strange. It’s not especially funny.

Milligan and McGrath’s wandering tale goes furthest off the reservation when appealing to the softcore porn producer who pumped some conditional cash into the film’s budget. Why else would a totally nude dancing woman pop up in McGonagall’s cell in debtors prison? Why intercut McGonagall’s imagined courting of Victoria as a benefactor with a naughty threesome? Of course it doesn’t make sense. The disconnect is the joke. By that standard, it’s a great success, but not an especially edifying viewing experience.

The film has a laudable and unwavering dedication to deadpan performances. Sellers plays it completely straight as Queen Victoria, quietly assuring all who don’t recognize her that “I’m very big in England.” As McGonagall’s long-suffering wife Foster hits all the notes for a sweet, silent, and supportive spouse, even while her husband’s deathbed doctor keeps propositioning her. Perhaps the surest sign of the cast’s commitment is the uproarious mocking laughter that greets McGonagall’s poetry recitals. The sheer cruelty of the response produces the last thing one would expect, and the most dangerous to this kind of comedy: pity for Milligan and his otherwise blissfully ignorant hero.

That points to what gets horribly lost in this ersatz biopic of William McGonagall: McGonagall himself. Milligan uses some of the man’s actual poetry, but it’s so scattered and mixed in with all his other pretensions that you never get a sense of why anyone, McGonagall included, thought he could write, other than blinkered delusion. The most interesting joke–the poetry—was handed to the filmmakers on a silver platter, and they divest themselves of it whenever possible, depriving Milligan of a guaranteed platform for extended silliness. Instead, he’s just a master of ceremonies overseeing a parade of weirdos who are weird for weirdness’ sake. It’s a real waste. No McGonagall. No Milligan. Just a mess.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:

“Obviously low budget, it’s like a bizarre vanity project for Milligan, and includes many of the obsessions that would appear on his Q television series, such as Scotsmen in kilts, Adolf Hitler, custard pies in the face and false noses. Is it funny? It’s certainly strange.” – Graeme Clark, The Spinning Image

ADDITIONAL LINK OF INTEREST: 

Socioeconomics journalist Tim Harford examines the life and career of the real William McGonagall on his Cautionary Tales podcast, floating the theory that the poet was in on the bit, and that the terrible poetry was actually an elaborate ruse to keep his career afloat.

(This movie was nominated for review by Mike B. Suggest a weird movie of your own here.)

The Great McGonagall

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    15*. CASINO ROYALE (1967)

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    DIRECTED BY: , , , , , (uncredited)

    FEATURING: , David Niven, Ursula Andress, , , , Joanna Pettet, Deborah Kerr

    PLOT: The “real” James Bond is recalled from retirement to fight agents of SMERSH. To help his cover, MI6 decides to re-name all their agents “James Bond.” The story loosely follows the maneuvers and misadventures of these various Bonds.

    Still from Casino Royale (1967)

    BACKGROUND:

    • This movie is based on author Ian Fleming’s first Bond novel of the same title. The rights were originally sold to producer Gregory Ratoff, then resold to agent/producer Charles K. Feldman upon Ratoff’s passing.
    • Eon Productions was the chief source of the James Bond franchise, but deals between Eon and Feldman to adapt Casino Royale fell through. After several false starts at producing a straight version of the Bond story (with both Cary Grant and Sean Connery considered for the starring role), Feldman struck a deal with Columbia Pictures, opting to make his Bond movie a spoof of the genre instead.
    • Amid an already-troubled production, Peter Sellers and Orson Welles famously quarreled, resulting in the former storming off the set, which required some re-shoots using body doubles.
    • It is alleged that Peter Sellers was eager to play James Bond for real and was disappointed to find out this was a spoof.
    • Dusty Springfield’s rendition of “The Look of Love” got an Oscar nomination. Later versions of the song made the Billboard Hot 100 at #22 in November of 1967, and cover versions have since appeared in everything from Catch Me If You Can (2002) to Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) (which was partly inspired by Casino Royale).
    • Despite this movie’s reputation as a flop, it still made $41.7 million back on a $12 million budget.

    INDELIBLE IMAGE: Eenie meenie miney moe: we’ll pick the scene where Jimmy Bond (Woody Allen) has taken Vesper Lynd (Ursula Andress) hostage, Bond-villain style. As Andress is restrained naked under barely-concealing metal bands, Allen menaces her in his groovy ’60s dungeon by playing a piano, socking a punching bag with the “real” James Bond’s face on it, and riding on a mechanical bull.

    TWO WEIRD THINGS: Duck decoy missiles; bagpipe machine gun

    WHAT MAKES IT WEIRD: In the same vein as Skidoo (1968) and North (1994), Casino Royale is a star-studded parable teaching us that shoveling big-name talent and money into a movie won’t necessarily make it any better. Before you even approach the jaw-dropping cast, you already have too many cooks (six directors and a veritable army of writers) spoiling the stew. The 131 minute run-time is overstuffed with everything the producers could cram in, whether it works or not. Saturated with weirdness, viewers will be burned out from the endless blathering nonsense long before this silly excess ends.

    Original trailer for Casino Royale (1967)

    COMMENTS: “What were they thinking?” That’s a query repeated Continue reading 15*. CASINO ROYALE (1967)

    LIST CANDIDATE: THE MAGIC CHRISTIAN (1969)

    DIRECTED BY:

    FEATURING: ,

    PLOT: A billionaire adopts a bum, then uses his fortune to pull outrageous pranks designed to show how far people will debase themselves for money.

    Still from The Magic Christian (1969)

    WHY IT MIGHT MAKE THE LIST: The spirit of 1969 lives on in this wild and wicked kitchen sink satire that owes a lot to easy access to fine Moroccan hashish. While it’s uneven and at times repetitive, when it’s at its best it’s got a reckless, swinging psychedelic sensibility that’s intoxicating.

    COMMENTS: You may notice that there are five different writers listed in the credits of The Magic Christian, including director McGrath,  (who write the original novel), star Peter Sellers, and and  of (which was just kicking off its first year on television in 1969—both actors also play small roles in the film). This may help explain why the ramshackle satire on display here has a little bit of a “too-many-cooks”/revue show feel. The story arc is flat; it’s a series of pranks/sketches that don’t build on each other. They could be reshuffled in almost any order. In the first segment, billionaire Guy Grand (Sellers) adopts a hobo hippie (Starr), but Starr has no real character; he’s only there to lend an ear so that Sellers doesn’t have to explain his bizarre behavior via monologues. The sketches are sometimes satirical, but just as often, they’re plain goofy, as when Grand takes a tank brigade with him on a pheasant hunt. It’s not clear whether we should admire Grand for exposing the hypocrisy of money-grubbing society, or revile him for exploiting people’s weaknesses for his own amusement. “Some days it’s not enough merely to teach,” he muses, “you must punish as well.” That sounds fine when he’s trolling the upper-crust, using a suitcase full of money to fix the Oxford/Cambridge rowing race, but when he abuses a hotdog vendor or bribes a lowly beat cop to eat a parking ticket, he’s acting like a bully. And when he destroys a Rembrandt, he’s a straight-up sadistic Philistine. The first hour is uneven, but things get manic in the last half hour, when Grand pitches a cruise aboard the “Magic Christian” as the event of the season for the stiff-upper-lip crowd. Once aboard, the dandies find the trip a bourgeois nightmare populated by male exotic dancers, pot-puffing ship physicians, transvestites, a galley full of slave girls, a guy running around in a monkey suit, and a vampire. The Badfinger soundtrack, featuring the Beatlesesque hit “Come and Get It” (composed by Paul McCartney), is a major asset, and cameos by Raquel Welch, , and Yul Brynner (among others) liven things up considerably. Christian arrives as a little bit of a disappointment, partially because this prodigious an assembly of talent—seriously, Terry Southern, Peter Sellers, and a third of Monty Python working together on one project?—promises more comedy goodness than any single movie could possibly deliver. But it’s still a time capsule of psychedelic gags from an age in which satirists viewed restraint and good taste as the enemy, but without making stupidity and vulgarity their allies.

    Much of the cast and crew of The Magic Christian overlaps with that of 1967’s Casino Royale: director McGraff, writer Southern, and star Sellers all worked together on the shambolic 60s spy spoof. In a further similarity, where Frankenstein’s monster made an appearance in Royale, Dracula shows up in Christian.

    WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:

    “This gaudy bauble from the paisley era just drips with low-gloss British Mod Pop style and a would-be Richard Lester vibe, but with no clue about how to put its abundant British talent, chiefly Peter Sellers, to any worthy purpose beyond playing at adolescent cynicism.”–Mark Bourne, DVD Journal (DVD)

    (This movie was nominated for review by Kengo, who suggested it’s “not really that weird a movie by late sixties/early seventies standards, with all the disjointed dreamlike narrative, broad satire and surreal imagery that seemed to be standard at the time, but has some good bits.” Suggest a weird movie of your own here.)

    CAPSULE: CASINO ROYALE (1967)

    DIRECTORS: John Huston, Ken Hughes, Joseph McGrath, Robert Parrish, Val Guest, Richard Talmadge (uncredited)

    CAST: David Niven, , Ursula Andress, , , , Joanna Pettet, Terence Cooper, Daliah Lavi, Deborah Kerr, Jacqueline Bisset, Bernard Cribbins, Ronnie Corbett, Anna Quayle, John Huston, William Holden, Charles Boyer, Vladek Sheybal, Burt Kwouk, Peter O’Toole, Jean-Paul Belmondo, George Raft, David Prowse

    PLOT: There really isn’t one, but here goes: Sir James Bond (Niven) is called out of retirement by M (Huston) when the new head of SMERSH is revealed to be Bond’s nephew, Jimmy (Allen).

    Still from Casino Royale (1967)

    WHY IT WON’T MAKE THE LIST: It’s not weird in the way a film by  or  is; nevertheless, it’s another one of those out-of-control, all-star, over-budget fiascoes that leaves you wondering “What were they thinking?” If this website were called 366Self-IndulgentMovies.com, Casino Royale would definitely make the list.

    COMMENTS: Not to be confused, ever, with the marvelous 2006 Daniel Craig film (which might well be the finest Bond movie yet), this 1967 boondoggle is based very loosely on the same source material: Ian Fleming’s first James Bond novel. The product of six different directors, including John Huston (The African Queen) and Ken Hughes (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang), and six writers, among them Ben Hecht (Notorious), Billy Wilder (Ninotchka) and  (Candy, Barbarella), the 007 spoof Casino Royale is a classic case of too many cooks spoiling the soup. Clocking in at an excessive 137 minutes, it’s a completely incoherent psychedelic mess, which, if you’re in the right frame of mind, can come off as intermittently hilarious.  Reportedly, the film was as chaotic to make as it is to watch, with Sellers and Welles warring on the set, and the former finally walking off the movie before it was finished. The final result, however, comes off as so utterly insane that the abrupt departure of Seller’s character (“Evelyn Tremble”)–who is (SPOILER ALERT!) murdered offscreen–fits right in with the freewheeling, anything goes “storyline” of everything else in the film. This version of Casino Royale is probably best remembered for the two hit singles spawned from the soundtrack: the bouncy, jaunty title song played unmistakably by Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass, and the languid, Oscar-nominated Dusty Springfield ballad, “The Look of Love.” Burt Bacharach’s score is a true relic of the Swinging Sixties, and large chunks of it show up in the third Austin Powers film. In fact, Austin Powers probably wouldn’t exist at all without Casino Royale. If one pays very close attention, it is striking that parts of this movie actually do bear a resemblance to the Daniel Craig “remake.” Bond falls in love with Vesper Lynd (Andress) who is kidnapped and then betrays him. He also plays cards with Le Chiffre (Welles), who later straps him to a chair and tortures him (although not in the notorious way that he does in the 2006 film). When Bond escapes, Le Chiffre –(SPOILER!) is shot in the head by SMERSH. Of course, these plot strands go back to the original novel, but that’s all that is left of Fleming.

    By the end of Casino Royale, matters have gotten so out of hand that there are appearances by the Frankenstein monster (Prowse, who later played Darth Vader), a performing seal, a clapping chimp, and a troupe of stereotypical tomahawk-wielding “Indians” dancing the Frug. Since the film opened right before the Summer of Love, one has to wonder; what were the cast and crew smoking?

    WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:

    “A hideous, zany disaster… a psychedelic, absurd masterpiece.”-Andrea LeVasseur, The All-Movie Review

    141. ALICE IN WONDERLAND (1966)

    “There was a time when meadow, grove, and stream,
    The earth, and every common sight
    To me did seem
    Apparelled in celestial light,
    The glory and the freshness of a dream.
    It is not now as it hath been of yore;–
    Turn wheresoe’er I may,
    By night or day,
    The things which I have seen I now can see no more.”

    –William Wordsworth, “Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood” (Alice’s first words and last words in this rendition of “Alice in Wonderland”)

    Recommended

    DIRECTED BY: Jonathan Miller

    FEATURING: Anne-Marie Mallik, , Leo McKern, Michael Redgrave, Alison Leggatt, Peter Sellers,

    PLOT: Young Alice has her hair roughly brushed by a nurse before she heads out to sit by a riverbank with her sister; as her sister reads she falls asleep. She wakes to see a man in formal Victorian dress walking through the woods and follows him into a strange deserted building where she discovers potions that shrink her and cakes that maker her grow larger. As she continues wandering about she meets many odd characters, including a Duchess in drag and three men caught at an endless tea party, and eventually a King and Queen who put her on trial.

    Still from Alice in Wonderland (1966)

    BACKGROUND:

    • This version of Alice was produced for the BBC and first aired on December 28, 1966.
    • The BBC scheduled Alice in Wonderland to play only after 9 PM, the slot usually slated for “adult” content, leading to some minor public controversy about whether the film was appropriate for children. (There’s nothing inappropriate in Miller’s adaptation of “Alice,” but this treatment is aimed at adults and kids would probably find it boring).
    • 30 minutes of the film that were cut by the producers appear to have been lost permanently.
    • Director Jonathan Miller was a founding member of the stage comedy troupe “Beyond the Fringe,” which also included Dudley Moore, Alan Bennet (who appears in a small role here as the mouse), and Peter Cook (who appears in a large role as the Mad Hatter).
    • Alice in Wonderland was the only film appearance for star Anne-Marie Mallik.
    • This was future Monty Python mainstay Eric Idle’s first appearance on film (he has a small, uncredited part as a guard).
    • Ravi Shankar provided the lovely, meditative sitar score; it has never been released separately.

    INDELIBLE IMAGE: There are many quietly sublime moments in Johnathan Miller’s Alice in Wonderland: Alice chasing the White Rabbit through a corridor lined with billowing white curtains, a shot of the overgrown girl dominating the foreground with the bedroom behind her subtly bent by the wide-angle lens, the Mock Turtle and Gryphon capering silhouetted against the sunrise on a rocky beach at low tide. We chose to highlight the instnat when the Cheshire Cat appears in the sky above the croquet game. This is the movie’s only special effect and one of the few moments when something overtly magical actually happens in Wonderland; such a moment sets off the minimalistic strangeness of the rest of the production. (Alice’s indifferent, emotionless reaction to the apparition only adds to the oddness).

    WHAT MAKES IT WEIRD: Jonathan Miller exhumes a Wonderland without magical beings: the White Rabbit is just a stuffed shirt in a waistcoat, the Cheshire Cat is an ordinary house cat, the drowned animals by the pool of tears are a soggy band of Victorian citizens. By unmasking the story’s anthropomorphic animals, he de-cutifies the fairy tale; the result is, unexpectedly, one of the weirdest and most dreamlike Alices ever put on film.

    [fvplayer id=”1″]
    Short clip from Alice in Wonderland

    COMMENTS: There are layers and layers to Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland”: the original book was simultaneously a children’s fantasia, a Continue reading 141. ALICE IN WONDERLAND (1966)