READER REVIEW: MY “THE DUNE” REVIEW

Reader recommendation (of sorts) by Daniel Ableev. Begins in medias res.

Apparently not, because Frank Heibert’s worm-building classic is somewhat of an epic, at least judging by the number of the pages involved (I haven’t actually read the scan template in question). Therefore it does not seem beneficial to wish for a reduction of such an extensive, grandiose, downright monstrous larger-than narrative to a three-minute flick. Of course this is a rather original artistic approach, but whether Villeneuve will be able to convince die-hard fans, as opposed to Davin Lynch‘s infamous attempt, remains to be seen (or doubted). In any case, there is not much room for strong storytelling or relationships in Dennis’s new work. After his already remarkably short thrillers “The Prisoner” and “The Sicario”, the undoubtedly talented Frenchman has now finally penetrated the heart of the avant-garde. Hectic cuts and cryptic off-screen dialogues turn the badly fragmented Deconstructor into an intensely dense deity in dire need of getting used to. Guest appearances by Dave Bautista and Jason Mamoa, both of whom seem to have stiffened their “-a”, and the fact that Oscar Isaacs is unwilling to leave the sci-fi genre would be even more commendable if he didn’t keep forgetting something (cf. shaving). As for the main character, the naive linnet’s Canadian-sounding surname provides a valuable clue—but what for? Viewers, severely maimed and crippled into question marks made of flesh and blood, have been for years in search of time to be lost, yet what they’ve managed to find is not more than three effing minutes of film material. Understandably they start pushing for answers without even having formulated the slightest of questions: Why does the crowd-pleasing worm twister at the end insists on being called The Big Lebowski? Why are those neo-Nazis, gracefully lowered on nylon threads, planning an eye-2-butter conversion intervention of sorts? And wouldn’t it be way more efficient to stretch the film so that the rather lavish CSI can finally come onto its own? Fun Fact: Hans Zimmer will undoubtedly go down as one of the most oven shots in film and cinema history, the simple reason for that being that Villeneuve had only time for one single song which wasn’t even composed, let alone Zimmer-ed.

We now realize: The spice melange lies in its brevity and the giant lies in its duneability, as does the perforated hoaxbox of sorts that has found more than one way into a fishnet. Uncanny Ville directs out of his hole, and a collection of grotesque vistas emerges: While Ed Wood himself keeps some of his favorite UFOs suspended, ambitious hyper-flies buzz along the sandtime continuum and animatronic sun rays accelerate the frementation process. Always dependent on artificial respiration, the indigenous Cyanos flee into Tremorpaul’s imperceptibly, yet all the more tightly pinched kneecap-jerking fantasies. Conclusion: “Independence Day” meets “Langoliers” with PS5 graphics and a threat extension of swords.

1 out of 5 stars

3 thoughts on “READER REVIEW: MY “THE DUNE” REVIEW”

  1. Agreed … i have no high expectations for this version … it is dark, gloomy as a funeral, oddly flat, has an emo lead kid, the stillsuits look lame and the worm’s mouth even looks like an anus!! WTF?

    Lynch gave us a surreal epic high renaissance visual film – ok it had 80’s elements with dated optical effects and yes it had a grotesque gay Baron but he was surrounded by just as perverted sycophants that grounded his character … so many people criticise the Lynch version(s) – but i still admire his film adaption after all these years – will they admire this 2020 version still in 25 years ???

    1. What we need is Robert Pattinson as young Atreides. (Then again, these days I want Pattinson in almost any young male lead role.)

      I actually liked some elements of the ’80s “Dune” effects. I think the box-y personal shields conveyed the feeling of the book’s description of them, even if only because it was the limits of the technology at the time of production.

  2. HA … Well i can’t agree with Robert Pattinson as Paul – that is just as bad as this emo kid … they both just look like dodgy underwear models to me!
    The other annoying thing about this 2020 Dune film is the gender swap of planetologist Dr Kynes who was revealed to be a Freman leader named “Liet” to whom all the Dune communities give allegiance to like a Deity … so how does a woman fill that role??? … i mean you don’t exactly see women leading Middle Eastern campaigns against ISIS do you? It all reeks of a Studio cashing in on a wider audience and to hell with the better story line … zzzz

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