Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 5 more movies to Certify Weird! You may attempt to guess the remaining titles in the comments if you wish.

A chill is in the air, egg nog is in the glass, and weird movie reviewers are typing through the sneezes as they bang out columns under the influence of NyQuil. It’s that time of year again! Next week, Alfred Eaker begins his countdown to Christmas with Rankin/Bass‘ “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Then, we continue cleaning out last year’s releases to make room for 2019, as Shane Wilson tackles the hallucinatory social media satire Like Me and G. Smalley takes a deeper look at Masaaki Yuasa‘s whimsically weird anime Night Is Short, Walk on Girl. Finally, it wouldn’t feel like the holidays without a little pious blasphemy and nunsploitation, and so it’s time—finally—for  Ken Russell‘s The Devils.

And now it’s time for our weekly survey of the weirdest search terms that brought users to the site. We always see a lot of bland movie searches that aren’t worth commenting on, but “that weird movie with the weird creatures ” is so generic that it becomes a little bit weird. Then there’s “old animated movie of conceited man becoming a swan trapped in a spinning,” which would be slightly odd even if it didn’t cut off suddenly. But there’s no question what the official Weirdest Search Term of the Week is: “60 old hairy p*ssies idea dead body on the rubber to men.” There’s so much strangeness packed into those 45 characters, but we’ll only comment on the fact that when you’re searching for geriatric necrophilia, there’s probably no need to be coy about using dirty words—just spell ’em out next time.

And finally, it’s time for our weekly cut n’ paste disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (although we will pick out the occasional title), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 6 more movies to Certify Weird! You may attempt to guess the remaining titles in the comments if you wish.

Next week, Alfred Eaker will be taking care of some academic business, which means a reprint column from him. As far as new material goes, though, we’ll bring you new release coverage as 2018 winds down: G. Smalley looks at the romantic comedy Relationtrip and the cannibal documentary Caniba, while Alex Kittle gives you the scoop on the Criterion Collection edition of ‘s True Stories.

We’re back to the point where we’re seeing plenty of search engine results in our logs; and yet, they are not as strange as we would like, making our survey of Weirdest Search Terms of the Week a confounding exercise. Maybe our standards are just too high? For example, something like “name of the film about an asian girl killed by a cow from the sky” would be a weird search to show up on a different site, but for us, it seems like a completely reasonable question. And “world of tomorrow the burden of other popes thoughts watch online” would be completely unexceptional, save for a single weirding typo. Out of a pretty ordinary batch, we’ll take “girl puts red nail polish on pad to conceal pregnancy goes into labor in bathroom and taken to hospital” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Hint to girls trying to conceal a pregnancy: don’t follow the advice in this movie. Put nail polish on a pad and you’ll only end up in the hospital.

And finally, it’s time for our weekly cut n’ paste disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (although we will pick out the occasional title), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 7 more movies to Certify Weird! You may attempt to guess the remaining titles in the comments if you wish.

Next week Alfred Eaker plans to look at Dennis Potter’s 1969 teleplay Son of Man, a controversial (at the time) retelling of the Passion. Then, Giles Edwards goes Japanese with Vampire Clay, the eerie story of, well, vampiric clay. G. Smalley brings you Apocalypsis, the psychedelic Christian conspiracy theory thriller you did not see coming, as well as a second look at the 1985 Soviet antiwar nightmare Come and See. Come and see us all next week! The countdown is in full swing.

Now’s the time when we bring you our survey of the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site this week, a feature we like to call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” We’ll start off with the return of an old favorite: the ultra-mysterious “friends boring strangers,” which has been showing up on the list for years now (though it hadn’t been spotted for months). Next up, we’ll mention “movie with guy who cant take his glasses off because of eye lasers.” But for our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with “woman pretends to be pregnant and eats men through vagina movie.” Not sure why she would have to pretend to be pregnant—unless it’s to hide the evidence?

And finally, it’s time for our weekly cut n’ paste disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (although we will pick out the occasional title), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 8 more movies left to Certify Weird! Feel free to leave your guesses on the remaining choices in the comments.

Next week, Alfred Eaker goes back to the theater to check out the impressionistic Vincent Van Gogh flick, At Eternity’s Gate. In honor of the first snowfall of the season, Giles Edwards will preview the German meta-mindbender Snowflake (due out on home video in two weeks). And G. Smalley reviews the new release of Asia Argento’s nutty, trashy pseduo-autobiography Scarlet Diva (2001), then takes a second pass at ‘s swan song, That Obscure Object of Desire.

It’s time once more for our weekly survey of the weirdest search terms that brought people to the site this week. Weird search terms are pouring in once more, but we’re seeing more volume than bizarre quality. Weirdly conceived porn searches are always a fertile form of strange search, as we saw with “kinki bitch slap,” “sexy porn william balair phone number,” and “ok ru mom movie.com.” Among the searches for weird movies we’d like to track down and see someday were “movie where man starts growing grass on himself” and “weird movie about a depressed person and a glowing turtle.” This category is also where we saw our officially Weirdest Search Term of the Week, the disturbing “at end of the movie motorcycle bust into house and rapes lady.” We’ve heard of vehicular assault, but this is the first case of vehicular sexual assault we’ve encountered.

And finally, it’s time for our weekly cut n’ paste disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (although we will pick out the occasional title), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 9 (!) movies left to Certify Weird…

If you like, you can speculate on which movies will be in that final group in the comments. Even though things could technically change, we have a pretty firm idea of what the finalists will be. Hint: 6 have been covered on here previously, three are totally new.

Next week, we’ll pay a mini-tribute a true legend of gonzo cinema. But first, Alfred Eaker checks in with a release that’s so rare no one else here had even heard of it… Dracula in Pakistan (1967). Then: you know him as a sorta vampire… a pair of twin screenwriters… a small-time crook and would-be Elvis impersonator… that’s right, it’s , the man who makes scenery-chewing a gourmet experience. This week you can catch him as a bee-stung detective in 2006’s Wicker Man, a homicidal pop in 2017’s Mom and Dad, and a vengeful lumberjack-on-acid in Mandy. We couldn’t finish the List without devoting a tribute week to the screen’s living legend of weirdness!

That’s a pretty weird lineup of films. Can our Google searchers keep pace with equally strange search terms they used to locate 366 Weird Movies this week? Sadly, the answer is “no.” Instead, they come up with searches like “boy falls in love with girl and becomes aware of reality and can see color movie” (sure, Nic Cage could play that scenario crazy—“oh no, not the colors!”—but besides that, it’s pretty ordinary). Our next candidate, “alien women seduce men and kill them because it’s cold,” features an odd motivation for murder, but barely nudges the ol’ weirdometer. For an official Weirdest Search Term of the Week we’re forced to go with “braziers exxt… movies.com”. It gets points for spelling what we assume was meant to be “X” or “XXX” phonetically (“exxt”), and for throwing in an unnecessary ellipsis. But, we know you guys can do better next week. Maybe drink more cough syrup before you start searching?

And finally, it’s time for our weekly cut n’ paste disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (although we will pick out the occasional title), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only ten (!) more movies to Certify Weird!

With the dawn of November, we turn our attention to catching you up on what’s been going down in weirdness circa 2018. First, Alfred Eaker reports on film critic/author ‘s newest book, “The Weirdest Movie Ever Made” (we can guarantee you will not guess the subject beforehand). Then G. Smalley looks at a trio of new releases: Zama, which is sort of like “Waiting for Godot” in colonial South America; Luca Guadagnino‘s long-awaited Suspiria remake; and answers the call to view the home video release of ‘s strange telemarketing satire, Sorry to Bother You. It’s not too early to start making that X-mas list for the weirdos in your life…

It’s time once again to mine Google data for the weirdest searches that brought traffic to the site this week. We’ll start with “movie featuring a man with a gun that could skeletonize victims,” a search that’s only slightly odd, but gets bonus points for coining the very descriptive word “skeletonize.” And how about “old horror where girl gets burnt with iron and cloned with skipping rope,” which starts out fairly normal, then gets strange fast. But our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week comes from the string-random-nouns-together school of searching: “amazing stange rope police vice spider vegas.” We would love to see a Vegas-set vice squad procedural about a spider and an amazing strange (or even a stange) rope!

And finally, it’s time for our weekly cut n’ paste disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (although we will pick out the occasional title), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 11 more movies to Certify Weird!

For Halloween week, Alfred Eaker will give us a little history lesson on The Golem (1920) and Frankenstein (1931). Then, Pete Trbovich grits his teeth and takes on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994), while Shane Wilson draws a cushier assignment with ‘s “Tokyo Vampire Hotel” (TV miniseries version). And, as November dawns, why not take another look at November? It’s up to you to figure out what’s a treat and what’s a trick.

Now is the time when we highlight the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site this week, in a feature we call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” Our first contestant is the confusing “possessing all exclusive possessions image.” We just flat out can’t figure out what information that searcher is looking for. More amusing is “Bat boy bubby full movei”; just imagine this movie starring this guy. For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we picked “WEIRDEST DON’T LOOK NOWFILM ERASERHARD 1001.” “Eraserhard” gets our vote for least likely porn parody ever; bonus points for use of all caps and throwing in a meaningless number at the end.

And now, it’s time for our weekly cut n’ paste disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (although we will pick out the occasional title), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: The Golem (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE