In just a few hours, the telecast of the Oscars (or, as we refer to them, the “Weirdcademy Awards for squares”) will begin. We are happy to steal the Academy’s thunder by announcing cinema’s weirdest winners of 2022 now.

In the category of “Weirdest Short Film,” the winner is The Backrooms (Found Footage)… soon to be a major motion picture! (Seventeen-year-old director Kane Parsons will be filming it over his summer break [that’s not a joke]).

In the category of “Weirdest Scene,” the Weirdcademy Award goes to Men for the scene where a man gives birth to a man who gives birth to a man.

In the category of “Weirdest Actress,” the Award goes to Everything Everywhere All at Once‘s Michelle Yeoh (who will also likely take home the Academy’s Most Conventional Actress award, joining Natalie Portman as the only actress to complete this impressive feat).

(WARNING: NSFW clip)

In the category of “Weirdest Actor,” the award goes to Rory Kinnear for playing the title characters in Men.

And finally, the award for Weirdest Picture of 2022 goes to… drum roll… Mad God!

Thanks to all voting members of the Weirdcademy, and see you again next year!