WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll be taking a look at Amos Gitai’s somewhat weird, but more tedious autobiographical film Carmel (2009); we’ll knock another one off our reader-suggested review queue with an elementary introduction to the incredibly complicated Primer (2004);  and to fill things out we’ll examine at the silly-as-it-sounds The Manster (1959).  Of course, Alfred will tackle more mad Mozart with coverage of Joachim Schlömer’s Odysseys, a pastiche trilogy created from fragments of the composer’s unfinished works.

It was a strange, grab-bag week for bizarre search terms, making it quite a challenge to pick a Weirdest Search Term of the Week.  First off, we have to encourage the “wierd lumpy movie short” search guy to keep trying: you’re fast becoming the unofficial mascot of 366 Weird Movies’ Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest.  Alas, once again your search for lumpy short movies rates no weirder than an honorable mention.  Speaking of honorable mentions, the query “mila kunis shave down there” scores bonus points  because we (oddly) turn up in the #1 spot for this search term on Google (you have to omit the quotation marks, though).  We also liked the weird challenge of trying to literally visualize “drop your mouth.”  But our weirdest search term of the week comes from the indecisive searcher who wasn’t too particular whether he received results relating to “italian movie or film tomato ‘jerk off’ or masturbate pregnant.”  Hey, “film tomato ‘jerk off'” alone would have been good enough for us to make it our Weirdest Search Term of the Week; the rest is just gravy.

For those who follow such things, here’s the intimidatingly massive reader suggested review queue: Primer (next week!); Kairo [AKA Pulse]; 200 Motels; Private Parts (1972); Saddest Music in the World; Mulholland  Drive; The American Astronaut; Blood Tea and Red StringsThe Films of Kenneth Anger, Vol. II (for Lucifer Rising, among  others); Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; The Bride of  Frank; La Grande Bouffe; Hedwig and the Angry InchEven Dwarves Started Small; Bunny & the Bull; “I Killed My  Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at  Disney” (assuming I can find  it);  Cinema 16: European Short FilmsFreaked; Session 9; Schizopolis; Strings; Dellamorte Dellamore [AKA Cemetery Man]; The Hour-glass  Sanatorium [Saanatorium pod klepsidra]; Liquid SkyThe Quiet; Shock Treatment; Tuvalu; “Zombie Jesus”  (if we can locate it); The Bed-Sitting Room; 3 Dev AdamFantastic Planet; “Twin Peaks” (TV series); SocietyMay; The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th  Dimension; Little Otik; Final ProgrammeCareful; Sweet Movie; The Triplets of Belleville;  “Foutaises” (short); Johnny Suede; The Tale  of the Floating World, Un Chien Andalou, Bloodsucking  Freaks; Fellini Satyricon; Three Crowns of the Sailor8 1/2; Dororo; Lost Highway; Valerie and Her Week  of Wonders; Dogville; Julien Donkey-boy; AmelieThe Ten; The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; 1; Fast, Cheap and Out of Control; Tokyo Gore Police; At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul; The Trial [Le procès) (1962); MarquisHell Comes to FrogtownSeom [The  Isle]; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Lust in the Dust; Celine and Julie Go Boating;  “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” The Magic Christian; Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T; Abnormal: The Sinema of Nick Zedd; Robot Monster; Nightdreams; 3  Women; “To Oblivion”; Rubin & Ed; TeethVera; Weirdsville; Prospero’s BooksInferno; Garden State; Persona; The Real McCoy; Rat Pfink a Boo Boo; Themroc; Candy (1968); Run Lola Run; Pink Flamingos; Buffalo ’66Northfork; Weekend; The Room; Glen or Glenda?; Night of the Hunter; The Fox FamilyMidnight Skater; Angelus; Cloudy with a Chance of  Meatballs; Twister (1989); Yokai Monsters, Vol. 1: Spook Warfare [AKA Big Monster War]; Britannia Hospital; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; Piano Tuner of Earthquakes; Clean, Shaven; Bubba Ho-Tep; Sheitan; Innocence; “Chingsao the Clown”; Léolo; 2001: A Space Odyssey; Blue VelvetID (2005); Master of the Flying Guillotine; Yesterday Was a Lie; The Ninth Configuration; Love Me If You DareForbidden Zone; The Cell; My Dinner with AndreThe Illustrated ManFando y Lis; Rampo Noir; Head; Christmas on Mars; “Broken Glass”; Videodrome; Air Doll; The Ossuary and Other Tales; Arrebato; Symbol; Wicked City (1992  live action); Barbarella; Picnic at Hanging Rock; The Cars that Ate Paris; The Boxer’s Omen [aka Mo];  Portrait of Jennie; Salo, the 120 Days of  Sodom; The Last Sunset (1961); Orpheus (1950); A Scanner Darkly; Safe; The Atrocity Exhibition; Gainsbourg (Vie héroïque); Slacker; Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell; Color of Pomegranates; Horror Express; Noroi; A Serbian Film (if ever released on DVD, which seems questionable at this point); Cutie Honey; The Shape of Things; On the Silver Globe; Monty Python and the Holy Grail; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; 2012 Aficionado DVD Zine Issue #0; The Last Days of Planet Earth;  “Charleston Parade”; Tales from the Quadead Zone; A Snake of  June; The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover; The Neverending Story; Cat Soup; Jack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); Drowning by Numbers; Fudge 44; From Beyond; The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle MeatMeet the Hollowheads; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Grendel GrendelEyes Wide Shut; Twilight of the Cockroaches; The Ruling Class; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia];  The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie; Daisies; Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); Parents; Dark City; Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters; 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil DollMultiple Maniacs; Phantasm IV; and Vermilion Souls (2007) (depending on availability); Lovers on the Bridge; No Smoking (2007); Reflections of Evil; The War Zone; Gahjini; Natural Born Killers; The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb; One Eyed Monster; Reflections of Evil; Natural Born Killers; The Fountain; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); Wool 100%; Murder Party; The Annunciation (1984); Funeral Parade of Roses; Stroszek; Primer; Bad Taste; Aguirre, the Wrath of God; Audition; The Fall; Me and You and Everyone We Know; Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; “Serial Experiments: Lain” (TV show); Darc Arc; Russian Ark; Genius Party; Watership Down; Tampopo; Goodbye Uncle Tom; The Idiots; Repo Man; Der Todersking [The Death King]; Titicut Follies; Mr. Nobody; The Shout; Rubber (this will probably jump in line and be reviewed early as a new release); “Premium” (depending on availability); Sleepaway Camp; The Pit (1981); Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams; The Falls; Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; Perfect Blue; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; The Bothersome Man; Moebius; Skeletons; Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song; The Brave Little Toaster; The Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Meet the Feebles; The Adventures of Mark Twain; Tourist Trap (1979); Thundercrack!; SLC Punk; Anguish (1987); Buddy Boy (1999); Bliss (1986); La cicatrice intérieure; Avida (2006); Brain Damage; Amazon Women on the Moon; Chronopolis; Blue (1993); Metropia; Zachariah; Labyrinth; Battle in Heaven; The Taste of Tea; Evil Ed; I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse; Cafe Flesh; Buffet Froid; Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam [AKA Turkish Star Wars]; Rubber’s Lover; The Signal; The Baby; “Alma” (short); The Double Life of Veronique;  “Chick”, Felidae; Spirited Away; Decasia (2002); Killdozer; Tommy; I (heart) HuckabeesElectric Dragon 80,000 VSanta Claus (1959); Strange Circus; Mad Detective; Wild at Heart; Revolver; The Tenant; A Zed and Two Noughts; Litan (1982) (depending on availability); Dark Waters; La Razon de Mi Vida (pending English language DVD release); The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea; Bernie (1996) ( depending on availability); The Ruling Class; Tank Girl; Things (1989); Hair Extensions; Haggard; Svidd neger (depending on availability); RoboGeisha; Schramm; Executive KoalaCoonskin; Time Masters; Hard Candy; Waiting for Godot (2001); Crash (1996); La Dolce Vita; La Cravate; Spirits of the Air, Gremlins of the Clouds (depending on availability); Last Year in Marienbad; Alphaville; Savages; Big River Man; This Must Be the Place; Heart of Glass; Little Deaths; and  Akira.  Wow!

3 thoughts on “WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE”

  1. I think this week’s weirdest search term is referring to “Leolo” a French-Canadian film from 1992. This has the requisite jerking off, pregnancy and tomatoes.

    1. i have to admit, it’s slightly disappointing to me personally to hear that. I hate to think there’s a perfectly logical explanation for every apparently inscrutable search term out there! I like the mystery and the wondering, “why, God, why?”…

  2. I too like the mystery, sorry to have peed on your bonfire. However, I like to imagine that the searcher has never heard of “Leolo” and genuinely does have a tomato fetish. Those damn veg always look so shiny and ripe!

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