WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 33 movies left to Certify Weird

While still awaiting his next summer blockbuster assignment, Alfred Eaker kicks off next week with a “KAPOW!” with the second installment of his “Batman” series (read the first here). While we’re waiting for Al to kick at tentpoles, G. Smalley is planning to check out the non-blockbuster, wannabe cult film How to Talk to Girls at Parties this week. Shane Wilson checks in with a review of ‘s 1989 occultist romp Moon Child (which recently debuted on Blu-ray). Smalley returns later in the week for a second look at ‘s Phantom of Liberty (and experienced readers can probably figure out why that is).

It’s time again for our survey of the weirdest search terms that brought users to the site this week, with our usual caveat that this feature seems doomed due to increased use of privacy filters that prevent us from seeing over 95% of searches. But as long as we can, we’ll continue to spotlight the strangest queries from the 5% we do see. Stuff like “movie where kid shrimks and hangs on vagina hair80s” (a query we actually know the answer to: do you?) There’s also “the life of warrior prostitutes,” which sounds weird, sure, but refers to an actual media property (though one we’d prefer not to promote). For our weirdest search term of the week, we’ll go with one we don’t recognize and don’t want to recognize: “the movie in which girls do party and one fat girl climb on a boy and the boy died then they find to keep him somewhere.” Bad grammar, rambling syntax, and an enigmatic conclusion; just enough bizarre elements for us to declare it our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-still-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability);Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); The Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Sangre (depending on availability); Buddy Boy (1999); Bliss (1985); La cicatrice intérieure; Chronopolis; Metropia; Zachariah; Battle in Heaven; The Taste of Tea; Cafe Flesh; Buffet Froid; Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam [AKA Turkish Star Wars]; The Signal; Felidae; Decasia (2002); Killdozer; Electric Dragon 80,000 V; Strange Circus; Mad Detective; Revolver; Litan (1982) (depending on availability); La Razon de Mi Vida (pending English language DVD release); The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea; Bernie (1996) (depending on availability); Things (1989); Hair Extensions; Haggard; Svidd neger (depending on availability); RoboGeisha; Executive Koala; Coonskin; Time Masters; Crash (1996); La Cravate; Spirits of the Air, Gremlins of the Clouds (depending on availability); Alphaville; Savages; Big River Man; Little Deaths; L’Ange; La Teta y La Luna; Finisterrae; Vase de Noces; Lucky; Ichi the Killer; La antena; Mystics in Bali; Feherlofia; Versus; Birth of the Overfiend; A Dog Called Pain; Memento Mori; That Deadwood Feeling; Happiness; Porcile [AKA Pigpen]; Underground; Hotel (2004); Hardgore; The Last Movie; Lord Love a Duck; I Married a Strange Person; Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale; “The Canadian Films of Paul Driessen”; And The Ship Sails On; Mondo Trasho; Marat/Sade; Space Thang; Drunken Wu Tang [AKA Taoism Drunkard]; Insidious (2010); The Earl Sessions (2011); Sitcom; They Came Back; Prometheus’ Garden, “Harpya”; Bruce Lee vs. Gay Power; Dumplings; Return to Oz; “Star Maidens”; “The Mighty Boosh”; The Element of Crime; Lo; Roller Blade; Mind Game (2004); Dante’s Inferno; Calamari Wrestler; Death Powder (1986); Big Man Japan (official review); Angel in the Flesh: The Confidential Report on Mr. Dennis Duggan aka The King of Super 8 (if it’s released; the director says it might be); Static; “The Big Shave”; Marebito; The Appointment (1981); The Cement Garden; Visions of Suffering; Singapore Sling (re-review); Koyaanisqatsi; Uzumaki [AKA Spiral] (official re review); Hanger (2009); “Analog”; Daymaker; Nails; Monobloc (2005); Big Time; “Slow Bob in the Lower Dimensions”; Vakvagany; Momo (1986); Organ; Dance with the Devil; Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster; “Alicia”; Space Is the Place (official review); Killer Nun; The Nine Lives of Thomas Katz; Ascension; Mind Game; Brick; Creatures of Destiny; Goodbye 20th Century; Boxing Helena; Chappaqua; The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai; Man Facing Southeast; City of Pirates; Pink Narcissus; Teknolust; Dark Side of the Heart; Period Piece; “One Soldier”; Thriller: A Cruel Picture; The Million Dollar Hotel; Diamond Flash; Green Snake; The 10th Victim; Anatomy of Hell; Christ the Movie; Pola X; Phase IV; Welcome to the Dollhouse; Berberian Sound Studio; L’Inferno (1911); Heartbeeps; Bibliotheque Pascal; Marutirtha Hinglaj; A Pure Formality; The Mysterians; Rock n’ Roll High School; Johnny Aquarius; Confessions of a Dangerous Mind; Citizen Dog; Criminal Lovers; The Cat in the Hat; The Sea That Thinks; In Search of the Titanic; Creating Rem Lezar; I Think We’re Alone Now; Edward II (Jarman); Wild Tigers I Have Known; I Never Left the White Room; Faust: Love of the Damned; King Lear (1987); Alien Alibi; La Cabina; Kung Pow: Way of the Fist; Four Rooms; The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari; “Afraid So,”; Bhoner: The MovieThe Passion of Darkly NoonRiki-Oh: The Story of RikiSomething WeirdGorod ZeroSnow White and Russian RedSphereTout Va Bien; Flaming CreaturesA Woman’s Face (1941), 8 1/2 WomenNick the Feature FilmOnly God Forgives; Nitwit; Homebodies; Celestial Wives Of Meadow MariFiend Without a FaceFear XWe Are the Strange; Confessions; Monday (depending on availability); Vigasiosexploitation (Vol. 1)The SlitTasher DeshWombThe SpiritSurviving Life: Theory and PracticeGalaxy of TerrorPríncipe Azul (depending on availability); Samgeori Geukjang (AKA Midnight Ballad for Ghost Theater); Andy Warhol’s Dracula [AKA Blood for Dracula]; Death PowderAs Filhas do FogoThe Killing RoomFiend(1980); Strangers in Paradise (1984); Vinyan; Suddenly Last SummerThe TwonkyEmperor Tomato KetchupFrontierWhere the Dead Go to DieKárate a muerte en Torremolinos (depending on availability); DetentionThe Fifth Season; Junkie (2012); The End of Evangelion (1997); Gandu; Felini’s Casanova; Overdrawn at the Memory BankDead Mountaineer’s Hotel; ExcisionThree… Extremes; Lemora: A Child’s Tale of the SupernaturalA Spell to Ward Off the Darkness; Takeshis’Om Dar-B-DarLive Freaky! Die Freaky!; Mécanix; Lucia (2013); “Wild Palms”; Che strano chiamarsi Federico [How Strange to be Named Frederico] (2013); Cannibal! the MusicalA Quiet Place in the CountryMarketa Lazarova; House (1986); The Living and the Dead; In the Realm of the SensesShinbone AlleyJourney to the West [Xi you] (2013); Hitler: A Film from Germany; Never Belongs To Me; The Keep, Marebito;Theodore Rex; Pastoral Hide and Seek; Without Warning; Grimm Love; Alucarda; ImpolexPost Tenebras LuxTammy and the T-RexWaltz with BashirLe Orme [AKA Footprints on the Moon]; The Manipulator; CasshernThe Magic Toyshop; “The Fool and the Flying Ship”; Memoirs of a SurvivorThe Giant ClawMr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium; The Midnight AfterThe Last Wave; “Mouse Soup”; Encounters at the End of the World; World; Wave TwistersDr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam;That DaySpookies; “God Hates Cartoons”; Perfect Sense; “Hansel and Gretel” (Tim Burton); The Devil’s Chair; “Rabbits”; Little Murders; Allegro(2005); Messiah of Evil; Frankehooker; Throw Away Your Books Rally in the Streets; I’m Not There; Quicksilver Highway; “Hospital Brut”; Neji-Shiki; Dandy Dust; Palindromes (official review); Felix the Cat: The Movie; Freeway (1996); Totò che visse due volte; The Acid House (re-review); Hands of God (2005, d. Alyson Levy); Lakki… The Boy Who Could Fly [AKA Lakki… The Boy Who Grew Wings]; Tomorrow Night; PoultrygeistThe Tracey FragmentsJigoku no Banken: Akai Megane [The Red Spectacles]; Tierra; Operation: Endgame; Kafka; Terror 2000; You Never Can Tell (1951); The Hunger (1983); Endgame (2000); Dreams That Money Can Buy12 Monkeys; Hotel (2001); Passages From Finnegans Wake; MazeppaVegas in SpaceThe MagusThe Assignment: The Witches Talisman; White Tiger; Mickey OneToysWise Blood; Ghosts Before BreakfastSilver HeadsCool World; Village of the Damned (1960); The 4th ManThe Plague Dogs;  Electric DreamsWizard of Speed and TimeMotel Hell; Youth Without Youth; FollowingCalimari Union; LFO; Helter Skelter (2012); Golem (1980); Sonatine; Gwen le Livre de SableThe Outskirts (1998); IzoThe End of August at the Hotel OzoneWerckmeister Harmonies; I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle; Brothers of the HeadMystery MenA Writer of Ghost Stories; Next Door [Naboer]; The Loved OneThe MirrorUntil the End of the World; Overturn: Awakening of the WarriorThe Mysterious Castle in the CarpathiansOnibabaEinstein’s Brain; The Beguiled; Fateful Findings; Bad Lieutenant; Magdalena ViragaLe MétéoreFish StoryComing ApartFatty Drives the Bus; Anna and the WolvesMidori; Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice; Rows (2015); Horror (2002); HysteriaI Married a Strange PersonHentai KamenFuture War; Decoder; The HoleHuman Nature; Andy Warhol’s Bad; The Great McGonagallBone, “Hen, His Wife”; A Journey Into Bliss;  Subway (1985); Cheap SmokesGory Gory Hallelujah; The Adolescence of Utena; “Red, White and Zero”; Orlando; Tokyo DecadenceWho Can Kill a ChildShakespeare’s Plan 12 from Outer Space; The TuneThe Virgin PsychicsSiesta; The Thingy: Confessions of a Teenage Placenta; Newsboys: Down Under the Big Top; Onirica: Field of DogsLa Distancia; L’intrus (2004) [The Intruder]; Jacky in the Kingdom of Women; Ex-Drummer (re-review); Earth Minus Zero; Shakes the Clown; SpermicideThe Fabulous Baron Munchausen; The Ring Finger; Sauna (2008); Adam’s Apples; Fight Club; Dark StarThe Infernal Comedy: Confessions of a Serial Killer; Cast a Deadly Spell; “Bobby Yeah,” Cat Sick Blues; “Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story”; The Last of UsDie Fighting; Dead BillyHail the New Puritan; Deathgasm; Kamikaze Girls; The Eternity ManPistol OperaDeafulaBoXedVelvet GoldmineTurbo KidThe Cannibals (de Oliveira); Los Parecidos [The Similars]; Darktown StruttersUnderwater LoveTales of Hoffman; Remainder; Deep Dark; Aaaaah!; Devil’s RainJubileeWelcome Home Brother Charles; Kung Fu from Beyond the Grave; Tough Guys Don’t Dance; Straight to HellLove, Honor and ObeyGeorge Washington; Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?; “Flowers and Bottoms”; Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-YakEGG.; The Complaint of an Empress; Makkhi; The Dog’s Night SongBig Meat EaterEnd of the Road; Prayer of the Rollerboys; Cool Cat Saves the Kids; “Penda’s Fen”; Imprint; Kultur Shock!Melancholie der Engel; The Aimed School; The Mask (1961); Shackled; Hukkle; Beg!; Juliet of the SpiritsThe Lickerish Quartet; Gothic & Lolita Psycho; The Wild World of Batwoman; Carnival Magic; “Am I Normal? A Film About Male Puberty”; “The Flood” (TV, 1987); The Mouse and His Child; Walker; It Couldn’t Happen Here; SporkMr. Blot’s Academy; Track 29; Speed Racer; From Morn to Midnight; Human Animals; U-Turn; Blood for DraculaBlood, Bullets, BuffoonsMishima: Life in Four Chapters; ¡Vivan las antípodas!; The Woman in the Fifth; Slipstream; Malatesta’s Carnival of Blood; Izo (2004); Essex Spacebin;  Funny BonesThe Vagrant; “Factory Witch”; Dante 01; The Legend of 1900; Blak MamaArtemis 81Dancer in the DarkBrotherhood of the WolfBody TroopersJawbreakerRocks in My Pocket;Samurai Rauni Reposaarelainen; The Golem; Blood-Spattered BrideTrapped in the Closet; Penitentiary III; Aachi & Ssipak; Cosmos; Pig;  Kung Fury; Whatever Happened to Vileness Fats; Roots of EvilCombat Shock; Dream-Quest of Unknown KadathLes garcons sauavges [The Wild Boys]; Helen Keller vs. Nightwolves; The Housemaid (1960); Space JamGyo: Tokyo Fish Attack; Tribulation 99; Shackled; “Devilman Crybaby”; The Last Winter; and Entr’acte.

OUT OF PRINT/NOT YET ON REGION 1 DVD HOLDING PEN: We’re holding off on reviewing these in case they get an official release down the line: Liquid Sky (re-review); Celine and Julie Go BoatingThe Real McCoy (we’re now of the opinion that this portrait of “Hanoi Rocks” singer Andy McCoy is unlikely to be released in any form); ThemrocHappy EndHabfürdő [Bubble Bath] (Hungarian), Angel’s Egg (reviewed, but still awaiting release), ArrebatoThe Last Days of Planet EarthJack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); The Drifting ClassroomUncle Meat1 DayVermilion Souls; The Annunciation (1984); Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya].

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