Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Well, apparently its that time of year again: while we weren’t paying attention, someone went and announced the Academy Awards nominations for Most Conventional Movie of the year. That spurs us to once again announce our (popularity-driven, tongue-in-cheek, purely for fun, no wagering please) Weirdcademy Awards nominations, which we will debut tomorrow. Later in the week, we’ll dig into the reader-suggested review queue for a look at the ‘ dark fairy tale Piano Tuner of Earthquakes, and then take a second crack at Peter O’Toole’s insane performance in the black 1972 satire The Ruling Class. We also expect to throw another new theatrical release review in the mix, too.

Now that those announcements are done with, we can give you what you really came here for today: our weekly rundown of the weirdest search terms used to locate the site in the past seven days.  As you might expect, we see lots of queries regarding  movies in which things eat other things. A typical example would be “the movie where a witch turns a boy into a gingerbread man and he tries eating himself and falls into a well,” a description which I know we all recognize. A little weirder is “alien eats guy after trampoline sex movie.” Is the searcher looking for a sex movie where an alien eats a trampoline, then a guy, or for a movie where an alien eats a guy after he has sex on a trampoline? The world may never know. We award neither of these our official “Weirdest Search Term of the Week” award, however, not in a week where someone out there searched for “vacuuming sucks up blog.” There is no real explanation for that one.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands (note: we are slowly researching and moving more titles into the “out of print/not yet on Region1 DVD” holding pen we print at the end of the list, so if you think something’s missing you might check there): Piano Tuner of Earthquakes (next week!); Candy (1968); The Fox Family; AngelusThis Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll take a couple out of the reader-suggested review queue, starting with the crazy social satire Britannia Hospital, the third entry in  /‘s “Mick Travis” trilogy (we certified the second one weird). Next up comes ‘s hard-to-classify debut oddity, The Cars That Ate Paris (it’s kind of a psychological horror/satire/black comedy/demolition derby thing). We’ll also venture to the theater to initiate coverage on 2015’s first big weird movie event, ‘s stoned adaptation of ‘s Inherent Vice. Finally, we plan on bringing you Alfred Eaker‘s “evolution of the sexploitation picture” piece that got bumped last week for behind-the-scenes reasons.

Each week, our featurette “Weirdest Search Term of the Week” examines the strangest searches that brought traffic to the site this week. Often, the searchers we feature are looking for the names of movies which they have garbled memories of (the rest of them are looking for porn). We’ll focus on the first group, whom we can’t help much this week, except for our first entry, “lesbians picknicking in corsets,” which we believe might refer to this film (although that’s not how we’d describe the main thrust). Far more mangled is the search for “the show where girl drops of rob something with her boyfriend but the boy doesn’t because he girl gets caught movie.” But our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week turned out to be “movie or tv show with female looking digital music players that mutilate boys penis,” which manages to weird-up digital music players in two different directions: “female-looking digital music players,” and “digital music players that mutilate boys penis.” I’ll be sticking with my iPod, thanks!

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Britannia Hospital (next week!); The Cars that Ate Paris (next week!); Themroc; Candy (1968); The Fox Family; AngelusThis Filthy Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

With 2014 finally in the can, we can return to plowing through that reader-suggested (before new 2015 releases start piling up on the desk). First, however, our low-budget series 366 Underground takes time out to look at the 2014 paranoid sci-fi flick Battle at Beaver Creek, about post-apocalyptic militias fighting government mind control in the Yukon. We’ll also be finishing up an important 2014 Blu-ray release as we tackle Eden and After, ‘s 1970 fusion of surrealism, psychedelia and sadomasochism. Finally, we’ll turn our attention to the aforementioned reader-suggested queue for as we sit down for My Dinner with Andre (1981). As always, Alfred Eaker heads in a different direction altogether as he examines the evolution of America’s puritanical attitudes about sex through a look at a trio exploitation films produced between 1948 and 1970.

Here’s our weekly rundown of the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site this week—a little feature we call, quite logically, Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. Inexplicable punctuation can sometimes cause an otherwise only slightly odd search to show up in this space, to wit, this week’s unique use of the forward slash: “”what film is this? man is/space hit by a/beam from the/sun 1980.” Misspellings occasionally will qualify as well, but they also need to incorporate some strange slant to the query, as is the case with “film titlrs with litersl meaning. pot mender suit maker militant double agent.” (Yeah, we get it, sort of. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy—but how is that a “litersl” meaning?) But for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with one that’s written in perfect grammatical English—“movie where teen females are sacrificed to ghost pirates”—just because we really want to see this one. (We’re certain a reader will recognize this description and tell us the title in the comments).

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: My Dinner with Andre (next week!); The Real McCoy; Themroc; Candy (1968); The Fox Family; Angelus; Britannia Hospital; This Filthy Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

It’s that time of year again–time for movie review websites to start trotting out “top 10 of the year” lists, as critics rest up to prepare for next year. At 366, we’re no better or worse than the others, but at least we’ll double the lists as we unveil separate picks for our top “mainstream” and “weird” movies. It won’t be all recycled content next week, however, as we’ll also take time out to review Oliver Stone’s ode-to-slaughter Natural Born Killers from the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue.

We saw a lot of strange queries this week for our periodic review of the weirdest search terms used to locate the site. We’ll start things out with the long-ish search for “do you mean the drill party who drilled a hole to hell? if so no demon was let out. they put a microphone down there and heard the sounds of hell. of people screaming..i heard it. pretty creepy. i know alot of people try to debunk it. but theres alot out to prove it also. of course theres”. We have no idea how this half of a conversation ended up in Google, how the incredibly gullible speaker’s thought process ends, or how this led someone to our site. Another strange one was “movie where the girl pretends to be nine but is like 30 so she gets adopted so she can sleep with your husband and nurder your children.” So she’s 30, but can pass for nine, and wants to sleep with my husband? Before unveiling this week’s champion, we’ll throw out one more: “transvestite ‘jazz singers'”. A search for transvestite jazz singers would be strange enough, we suppose, but why put “jazz singers” apart in quotes—like transvestites can’t be “real” jazz singers? For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with the innocently disturbing “movie with a man makes some goo for kids and says drip.” We can’t even.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Natural Born Killers (next week!); The Real McCoy; Themroc; Candy (1968); The Fox Family; Angelus; Britannia Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll get some more 2014 reviews out of the way in time for a little holiday indulgence with our office Saturnalia party. (Sadly, this year the health department forced us to shelve the 366 Weird Suckling Pig Sacrifice. We’re having ham sandwiches instead). We’ll check out two very good but only slightly weird movies—the Cambodian genocide diorama doc The Missing Picture and the Studio Ghibli animated fairy tale The Tale of Princess Kaguya—and one very weird but not so good movie, the brilliantly named absurdist indie Buttwhistle. Staff gets Christmas Day off, but we’ll still post a little something for all you weirdophiles out there.

It was a light week for weird search terms used to locate the site, but we’ll spotlight what we saw for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest. First up is “spanish film about a kid that’s trying to get some boobs,” which could be read a couple of different ways. Next we have the tautological search, “what movie is there a person where they lost there mind because they r crazy.” And finally, although we don’t like to encourage this kind of searcher, we have to award our Weirdest Search Term of the Week to “nude teengirl in odd clothes”; a search made by a pervert who is somehow completely unacquainted with the concept of “nudity.”

Here’s how the ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: The Real McCoy; Themroc; Candy (1968); The Fox Family; Angelus; Britannia Hospital; This Filthy Earth; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week we’ll continue our year-end coverage of 2014’s weird releases with looks at Germany’s arthouse grossout effort Wetlands and France’s manically surreal Mood Indigo. Sandwiched in between those reviews we’ll regress to the mainstream to discuss the Online Film Critics Awards, along with our votes (spoiler: eligible Certified Weird movies The Dance of Reality, The Double and Enemy combined for a grand total of zero award nominations). Alfred will cap the week by popping in the latest Bu-ray release of “Pee Wee’s Playhouse.”

Proving that the door-pounding fetish is more pervasive than we ever guessed, this week “movies with video footage of pretty girls pounding on doors” once more appears on our rundown of the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week (although this week’s searcher was not particular about the pretty girl’s name). “Was joe, the fartiste, black?,” asks our second searcher (bonus points for using the grammatically correct appositive even though Google could care less—but what prompted that bizarre question?) Our winner for Weirdest Search Term of the Week is  the odd question “what is it called getting stuck in mountains near trees when you drop in soft snow,” an incredibly unusual and specific situation that probably cannot be summed up in fewer words than the asker actually used.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Mood Indigo (next week!); The Real McCoy; Themroc; Candy (1968); The Fox Family; Angelus; Britannia Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, Scott Sentinella digs into the reader-suggested pile for a look at Monty Python and the Holy Grail. G. Smalley checks out The Frame, ‘ mindbending followup to his certified weird Ink, and will also honor the 5th Irregularly Scheduled Readers’ Choice Poll‘s controversial selection of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Thursday, Alfred Eaker returns from his hiatus with coverage of the Criterion Collection’s release of ‘s existential western Ride in the Whirlwind (which they pair with pardner The Shooting-already covered here—as a natural double feature).

As is tradition in our second paragraph of our Pipeline column, we once again scrape together some of the oddest searches we caught in our server logs for a little contest we like to call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” Our first contestant, “scary movie albino creature walks like a table,” embeds a logical issue in its simile—that is, tables don’t walk. Our next featured search is sort of brilliantly stupid: “does actress have fake vagina install for explicit sex scenes”? We don’t think so, but wouldn’t “vagina installer” be a great line to include on a résumé? Our winner is one of those rare examples of the ‘absurdist anecdote’ style of Google searching: “glen has my mixer but glen does not know he has my mixer. glen also does not know that he has my clothes”. This searcher won the Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest, but this searcher does not know  he won the Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest. This searcher also does not know he has a mental illness.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (next week!); The Real McCoy; Themroc; Candy (1968); The Fox Family; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE