Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week starts out with El Rob Hubbard considering a great weird director who has been somewhat neglected around here, ; he’ll provide a Director Retrospective followed by a review of his first film, the WWII drama The Third Part of the Night (1971). Next, G. Smalley dives into the reader-suggested review queue and comes up with the classic disturbing thriller Blue Velvet (1986), while Alfred Eaker brushes for summer blockbuster season by taking a look at The Road Warrior (1981) in preparation for the upcoming Mad Max reboot. That should hold you guys for another week!

Now it’s time for our weekly look at the weirdest search terms we saw that brought traffic to 366 Weird Movies: a little feature we like to call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” First, long-time readers will be happy to know that the vacuuming searches continue with both “vacuuming moms sucking up” and “sucked up vacuuming fetish” (a fetish? Really? We had no idea!) Next, “3d cgi animal octopus porn sex” is a search term whose weirdness (we hope) needs no explanation. Since we saw “vitaly rules google ☆*:.。.゚゚・*ヽ(^ᴗ^)丿*・゚゚.。.:*☆ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯(•ิ_•ิ)(ಠ益ಠ)(ಥ‿ಥ)(ʘ‿ʘ)ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ヽ(゚д゚)ノʕ•̫͡•ʔᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ(=^. .^=)oo,” we obviously have to mention it. There is a story behind this which makes it less strange: “Vitaly” is Vitaly A. Popov, an idiot spammer from Samara, Russia, who believes that he is taunting Google with this fake referral spam. So, he’s more annoying than weird, which is why his artisinal search term only rates an honorable mention in our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest. Instead, we’ll give the award to “dragon close down down everything should down out with the bank robber was the one i can’t tell what jacarah brothers,” which looks like about four or five weird search terms stuck together in one gooey string of oddness.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Blue Velvet (next week); Society (DVD re-release expected soon!); The Fox Family; Angelus; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week’s review slate includes Giles Edwards on ‘s historical fever-dream Aguirre, the Wrath of God, while G. Smalley looks at ‘s surreal 1983 mystery La Belle Captive and takes another swipe at the silent dystopian classic Metropolis (for what may be the last time, barring more rediscovered footage).

Alfred Eaker will bring us something, but we’re not sure what just yet. We can announce the lineup (as voted by readers) for this year’s edition of “Alfred Eaker vs. the Summer Blockbusters”: you opted to send our curmudgeonly critic to Mad Max, Pitch Perfect 2 (ouch!), Terminator: Genisys, and The Fantastic Four. Alfred is a cinema masochist, so there’s no need to feel bad for him.

Once again, we’re scrambling for weird search terms to fill up a few inches of space in our “Weirdest Search Term of the Week” contest. But the vacuuming searches keep rolling in: this week we saw both “mommy blog vacuuming up toys” and “vacuuming mom sucked up.” Wish we knew what these were all about, though maybe we’re better off not knowing. In other weird search news, we noticed “what is the animated film about people who walk into a room, do something, then leave”; we would argue that that description is just a little too vague to be helpful. For our official Weirdest Search Term of the week, we’ll go with “claymation umbrellas are people too.” That makes a great slogan, but at the risk of being labelled bigots, we are going to have to disagree; claymation umbrellas aren’t people, and should not be granted the right to vote or marry.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Aguirre, the Wrath of God (next week!); Society (DVD re-release expected soon!); The Fox Family; Angelus; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, El Rob Hubbard (anyone notice the slight change in spelling?) starts us off with his review of 1969’s hippie musical oddity Cult of the Damned [originally Angel, Angel, Down We Go], which was recently released for the first time on DVD. G. Smalley follows with coverage of the recent horror mindbender The House of Last Things and the reader-suggested surreal anime Cat Soup. While nervously waiting to see what summer blockbuster atrocities 366 readers plan to send him to see, Alfred Eaker plans on passing the time by watching a good sic-fi blockbuster of years past: A.I., the abandoned Stanley Kubrick project completed by Stephen Spielberg in (oddly enough) 2001.

Last week was one of those weeks that we like to complain about. Where are all the people typing bizarre, disjointed search terms into Google? The lack of such folks makes our search to find the Weirdest Search Term of the Week a challenge. So light was the flow this week we’re forced to look at “rocky ho” as one of our weird highlights (surely the searcher just accidentally hit “enter” too early, though we like to imagine he was actually looking for a prostitute made of stone). Our other candidates are “scarlett johansson fake butt” (not sure if they’re wondering if the actress has one, or they want to order one) and “th farm owner was a fat woman amd she’d ring a bell” (and…?) For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week we’ll go back to the vacuuming well for “vacuuming mom sucked up.” We need to keep highlighting these or we will lose all our “vacuuming mom” traffic, which currently makes up about 16% of all visits to the site.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long nd ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Cat Soup (next week!); Society (DVD re-release expected soon!); The Fox Family; Angelus; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; Innocence; Blue Velvet; ID (2005); Master of the Flying Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week we start off with a theme: it’s mini-Lucio Fulci week, as Giles Edwards takes on City of the Living Dead while G. Smalley goes into The Beyond (1981). The latter makes for a perfect transition into the reader-selection Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010). Meanwhile, we note that the Summer Blockbuster season is creeping up upon us, and so Alfred Eaker will be looking at what’s coming up—and asking you to choose which bombastic cinematic atrocity he should be forced to endure! What a week, what a week!

It’s time again for our rundown of the strangest search terms we spotted in our referral logs last week—a little feature we like to call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” First up is  “orange rensy jappanes sex vedio,” which would probably be weird even without the obvious misspellings (what could “orange rensy” possibly be?) Still, it’s not quite as weird as the search for “movie where guyruns up stairs and starts singing brrrrrrrrrr.” Yet both of these pale in peculiarity next to this week’s official Weirdest Search Term:  “two sexy nuns sucking each others huge – duck movie下午3:33http://duckmovie.” To make the search even weirder, if you put  that insanely-phrased query into Google, you will notice that the assiduous search engine returns (as you would expect) exactly zero hits. So how in the world did the searcher end up on our site? Accept the mystery!

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: The Beyond (next week!); Society (DVD re-release expected soon!); The Fox Family; Angelus; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; Innocence; Blue Velvet; ID (2005); Master of the Flying Guillotine; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Happy Easter, weirdophiles!

Next week, intrepid correspondent Caleb Moss will introduce 366 readers to a hard-to-classify little project going by the (accurate) name, “Aleister Crowley’s The Rite of Mars: A Rock Opera.” G. Smalley will follow up with the equally odd An American Hippie in Israel, and we’ll also cover a pair of recent Criterion Collection releases of films that have received attention on these pages before: ‘s shadowy 1932 horror classic Vampyr, and the Certified Weird Fellini Satyricon.

We’ll also announce the winner of the March Madness Mad Movie List Candidate tournament on Tuesday: you will have today and tomorrow to cast your vote for the winner of the championship match between the two surreal science fiction-y finalists, Beyond the Black Rainbow and The Congress.

When you don’t speak English very well, and/or you’re drunk, and you have foggy half-memories of a movie that was probably pretty strange to start with, you’re headed for a spot in our weekly survey of Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. That’s the case with the people searching for “love crazzy boy that they tied up girls nacked” and “cartoon film where old man had robots in a tree elivaror.” The strangest of these queries, and therefore the official winner of our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest, is “what is the name of the movie when teo girls are sitting in a roller coaster seat and they get stick and then a guy gets a while in his stomach.” I can’t even think of a single movie where a guy gets a while in his stomach, much less one that meets all those bizarre criteria.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: An American Hippie in Israel (next week!); Society (DVD re-release expected soon!); The Fox Family; Angelus; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; InnocenceBlue Velvet; ID (2005); Master of the Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

PRESS RELEASE: WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

366 Weird Movies, the premier site for coverage of the cinematically surreal, bizarre, cult, oddball, fantastique, psychedelic, and the just plain weird, has released its slate of reviews for the week of March 20-April 4. “We’re very excited about this week’s lineup, which we believe creates multiple paradigmatic synergies and added value for the brand-engaged weird movie consumer,” said G. Smalley, 366 Weird Movies’ CWO (Chief Weird Officer). The week’s reviews begin with exciting new reviewing discovery Giles Edwards analyzing Alain Resnais’ rare 1968 time travel tale Je T’aime, Je T’aime. The CWO himself will assay Jake Squared, the self-indulgent new release about a self-indulgent filmmaker who finds multiple copies of himself at different ages running around as he tries to film his life story. Fringe Cinema expert Alfred Eaker promises us something from the canon of the esteemed . Plus, Smalley promises a surprise movie review, which he will only describe as “a little film that many of readers know and have been silently clamoring for, but which is new to me. When I saw it for the first time, I was blown away, wondering how I had managed to miss this bizarro classic for so long.” All this, plus popular running features like “Weird Horizon” and “Saturday Short” make 366 Weird Movies your premier destination for weird movie coverage in the last week of March/first week of April.

In further 366 Weird Movies news, the website has released its weekly list of the weirdest search terms used to locate the site. This week’s runners-up include “accidental sexchange from (fiction)” and “carolina crash barbarella porno,” while the official winner of the Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest was “3d tall giant big guy tall mini small gay video porn gay.” “We are thrilled and excited at the weirdness of the search terms used to locate the site this week, which we believe enhances the richly integrated media experience today’s socially-conscious millennials demand, while simultaneously demonstrating cross-viral appeal to our key demographics,” said Smalley. “The searches suggest that we appeal equally to tall giant big guys and mini small gays.”

Finally, the website would like to release an updated version of its “ridiculously-long and ever growing” [TM] reader-suggested review queue: Society (DVD re-release expected soon!); The Fox Family; Angelus; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; InnocenceBlue Velvet; Continue reading PRESS RELEASE: WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Here’s our review lineup next week: Alex Kittle will scope out ‘s Hollywood satire Maps to the Stars; Caleb Moss will look at the low-budget home invasion drama A Killer Conversation for 366 Underground (and also get it out of the reader-suggested review queue); G. Smalley will go beyond the stars, and take 2001: A Space Odyssey out of the reader-suggested review queue; and Alfred Eaker plans to turn his attention from Federico Fellini to Werner Herzog. Yep, , and Herzog all in the same week!

There are some real sickos out there searching for bizarre things that even we can’t print, but we will nonetheless bring you the (printable) weirdest search terms used to locate the site this week in our weekly feature we call Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. First off, “vacuuming mom” searches have become so common that they are no longer eligible to be named Weirdest Search Term of the Week. This week we saw “vacuuming sucks up mom,” “vacuuming sucks up,” and “vacuuming moms sucking up.” OK, you vacuum freaks can quit now. On to searches that do have a chance to be named weirdest of the week, starting with “5th e3e0ent,” which we will give an honorary “worst use of numerals to substitute for letters award” (why not “5th 313m3nt”?) Next up, in the “so mundane it’s weird” category, it’s “movie were man remembers to bring a towel.” That would make for one anticlimactic beach movie. Our official winner of the Weirdest Search term of the Week contest, however, is “erotic man eating plant horror movie.”  A horror movie revolving around a man eating a plant is a little odd (although it’s been done), but when it’s an erotic man munching on the gardenias, then it turns weird.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands:  A Killer Conversation (next week!); 2001: A Space Odyssey (next week!); Society (DVD re-release expected soon!); The Fox Family; Angelus; This Filthy Earth; Conspirators of Pleasure; InnocenceBlue Velvet; ID (2005); Master  of the Flying Guillotine; Yesterday Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE