Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

A little administrative note: With almost half of the traffic on this site bound for the “What Was That Weird Movie?” sections of the site, we’re strongly considering opening up a sister site dedicated entirely to solving mystery movies. We’ve started a thread on the current forum where you, the loyal reader, can comment on the idea if you wish.

Turning to weird movies we can identify, next week’s offerings will include the overlooked Eraserhead-esque Canadian nightmare Aegri Somnia (2008), the odd-toned indie comedy Somebody up There Likes Me (2008), the animated lesbian psychedelic science fiction musical (you read that right) Strange Frame: Love & Sax (2012), and Roger Corman‘s The Intruder (1962), a horror movie starring that most terrifying of actors—William Shatner.

The Great Google Privacy-Inspired Weird Search Term Drought of 2013 continues, but we bring you what we can. Fortunately for us, no privacy policy can completely stop the flood of bizarre perverts who flood Google’s servers every day, looking for weirdly nerdy porn like “5 female aliens for one naked men” and “topless asian wrapped by monster movies.” Even weirder is the guy looking for “movie where boyfriend has sex with girlfriends organs” (very disturbing, depending on which organs he’s romancing). For our weirdest search term of the week, we’ll go with “germany’s spinning upskirt wheel” (despite how Japanese this sounds, it’s apparently a real German thing).

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Celine and Julie Go Boating; Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T; Abnormal: The Sinema of Nick Zedd; Robot Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week we’ll take a look at a pair of recent (to Americans) French releases with the animated figures-in-an-Impressionist-painting fantasy The Painting alongside ‘s pterodactyls-n’-mummies period piece The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec. In other news, we’ll dip into the reader-suggested review queue for a look at the (non-French) short “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life,” while Alfred will get into the Halloween spirit with ‘s murderous black comedy A Bucket of Blood.

Although we’ve come up with another way to glean some extra search queries from the server, we’re continuing to struggle through the Great Search Term Famine of 2013. Although we fear the Golden Age of the Weird Search Term may well be past, we’ll continue to scrape together what strangeness we can for our weekly Weird Search Term of the Week contest. This week, we’ll lead with a search sentiment we disagree with: “prono>strange.” We definitely hold that strange>prono. Our weird search term runner up this week is “movies to drown blonde and brun to dvd,” which seems like it must be a bizarrely mangled hair color variation of “movies to download and burn to DVD.” For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we select the sage taboo “a man with a moustache shall not kiss his wife under a tree whilst holding an orange.” We couldn’t find any locality where the above prohibition was actually a statute, so maybe it’s merely in the proposal stages; nonetheless, we encourage you to vote “yes” on this proposition should it come before your local governing council.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life” (next week!); Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Celine and Julie Go Boating; Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll start off with a book review of Kelly Knight’s “Twistern: 50 Twisted Western Movie Reviews”; then, we’ll delve into something really twisted as we look at the British sci-fi sex horror Mindflesh (2008) (about an alien nymphomaniac from another dimension); and we’ll peek into the reader-suggested review queue for a look at the bizarre East German fairytale The Singing Ringing Tree (1957), released as a children’s show in Britain as part of a Communist plot to instill a deep-seated fear of clumsy mechanical goldfish among Capitalist children.

If you’ve been following this space, you’re well aware that we’ve been whining about Google’s new “privacy” policy that hides most search queries from webmasters, depriving all of us of opportunities for amusement as we search for the Weirdest Search Term of the Week. We’re hope we’ve discovered a way around this limitation, but you’ll have to suffer through one more week of us wading through a shallow search pool. We’re so desperate that we’re turning to the garden variety “string of random nouns” search for strange search candidates, to wit, this week’s “samurai evil cowboys movie clowns carnival.” Only slightly weirder is the search for “guy finds out girlfriend cheated on him with midget”—is the searcher looking for a support forum for similarly jilted guys? For our Weirdest Search Term of the Week (keeping in mind the diminished number of submissions we’re working with) we’ll go with “plot twist: his mom chopped off the dog’s leg for the inspiration,” which is a badly phrased punchline to a joke you haven’t heard.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: , Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T; Abnormal: Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week’s slate of reviews tackles some classics. We’ll start with John Frankenheimer’s recently Criterion-ized Seconds (1966), in which a middle-aged man turns into a young Rock Hudson. Next up (and also from 1966, coincidentally) is ‘s talking Marxist bird parable, The Hawks and the Sparrows. And from out of the reader-suggested review queue comes ‘s pirate video snuff-film classic Videodrome (1983). Plus, Alfred Eaker segues from his discussion of the experimental films of to Halloween horror film coverage by covering Spark of Being, Morrison’s take on Frankenstein.

Last week, we bitched about how Google’s new privacy settings, which now block about 5 out of 6 search queries from webmasters’ prying eyes, are giving us less and less material to work with in our “Weirdest Search Term of the Week” contest. Well, what’s missing in quantity of search terms is now being made up for in length of search terms. We’ve gotten used to snappy three-word word search terms like “hippy fetish fiction.” But now we’re starting to see longer queries, ones that start out relatively normal and get progressively stranger, like “three word children’s movie titles list of recent times with these jumbled letters three egg humans.” This trend culminates this week with this epic search (which is also our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week): “i killed a man and i liked it the colour of his blood on my windscreen i killed a man just to drive drunk i hope his wife don’t mind it it felt so wrong it felt so right don’t mean i’m a serial killer tonight i killed a man and i liked it i liked it.” We’re not sure whether that’s a search for British rap lyrics or if it’s an admissible confession of guilt, but if the authorities contact us about it we promise to cooperate.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Videodrome (next week!); Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” Black Cat, White Cat; The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week 366 Underground takes a look at the one-man animated satire The Bulgarian Prophet; we’ll examine The Act of Killing, this year’s bizarre documentary wherein now-elderly perpetrators of Indonesian genocide re-enact the killings they committed in their youths (with musical numbers); and, sticking with recent releases, we’ll cover Magic Magic, the psychological thriller with Juno Temple as a disturbed girl and Michael Cera as a disturbing cad.

In a move that may placate privacy advocates, but outrages those of us who love to laugh at the bizarre searches Google users make on a weekly basis, more and more user’s search terms are being masked by the #1 search engine. Of 7,351 Google visits to this site this week, 6,124 of them chose not to provide us access to their exact search strings. Soon, we are going to have to figure out how to tap into NSA databases to find weekly weird search terms. Of course, this new privacy option leaves us wondering why people looking for “sneak look at grandpas and grandmas sex organs” didn’t have the good sense to mask their search. There was also a mini-run on weird snake movie searches that evaded the privacy filter. People just love to see our scaly friends on film, whether it’s a “movie where dog is mixed a snake” or the more understandable “insane snake kills girl movies.” (Insane snakes are the worst, next to cancer-ridden snakes, of course). Given that we can’t see over 6,000 of this week’s search terms, we’ll accept “naked black girls carrying naked white men” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week. This fetish is so specific and unique to this particular searcher that Google actually comes up blank on it; quite an achievement, given the bizarre junk we see on a daily basis while compiling this contest.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T; Abnormal: Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll take a look at Matteo Garrone’s highly unusual vision of Reality (2012) (it’s a TV show that makes you go crazy); give you the lowdown on Welcome to Nowhere, a surreal independent feature film set in the Weird West that will be shown online for free for one month only; and take a trip to Garden State, a place where epileptic paralegals and over-medicated actors can find true love.

With that business out of the way, it’s time once more for our weekly survey of the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. First off, we’re probably as curious as the asker to find the answer to the question, “what is the name of the movie about a man who injects eggs with gases”? Our next entry comes from the “random series of nouns strung together” school of weird searching: “daughter booth witching father mom sleeping 3gp.” Of course, no Weirdest Search Term column would be complete without including at least one bizarre porn search; this week’s candidate is “www.narcotized lesbian.com.” But our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week is the simple yet unclassifiable query for information on “films about rubbery list.” (If they were looking for “films about rubbery lust,” we wouldn’t have batted an eye…)

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Garden State (next week!); Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week’s reviews will include Cinema Sewer’s exceedingly sick (and admittedly weird) mixtape of B-movie clips, public access embarrassments, and fetish porn, appropriately named Retard-O-Tron III. On a lighter note, we’ll cover Clean, Shaven, an agonizingly subjective immersion in the mind of a tormented schizophrenic who may (or may not) kill little girls when he’s not mutilating himself. We’ll also be picking out another amateur new release from our big stack of screeners—but, we haven’t officially decided which one yet, so you’ll just have to tune in and be surprised by the weirdness.

It’s been tough deciding which movies to review for next week, and it’s been equally hard picking out last week’s Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. We can say that people out there have some very strange movie memories, and if the actual films are half as strange as their mangled recollections, there are some terrifically weird movies out there waiting to be discovered. After all, “80s movie on boobs addiction” is one of the least weird searches, when compared to “zombie eat pregnant porn movie” and “horror film tail girl becomes man rapes forest.” But the one we really want to track down is our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week: “90s movie with teens sniffing blonde octopus legs.” This begs the question: do brunette and redheaded octopi get jealous when teens choose to sniff blonde tentacles?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long (and ever-growing) reader-suggested review queue now stands: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” Black Cat, White Cat; The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T; Abnormal: Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week’s reviews will ascend from the trashy to the classy. We’ll start out in the gutter with the melting-hobo epic Street Trash (1986), then take a step up to Takashi Shimizu’s psychological J-horror Tormented (2011) (a bunny-themed nightmare that should have been released under its more evocative. descriptive and original literal title, Rabbit Horror). We’ll finish up the week with a look at two animated classical music works: 1940’s amazing Fantasia; and Allegro Non Troppo, Italy’s 1976 answer to Disney (it’s sophisticated and European, so there are more boob-trees and guys running around in gorilla suits than the American version).

Once again, we’ve scraped together more strange search terms for your amusement for our weekly feature we like to call “weirdest search terms of the week.” As we frequently find, this week it’s the porn searchers with bad spelling who keep us in business. Just a couple of typos can change a perfectly fine dirty search into something ridiculous, like “spy gamera collage girl sex.” Of course, some searches appear sincere, but their subject matter is a little, er, off: into this category we throw “haunted penis movie on netflix” and “amatuer porn videos of margaret hamilton.” But if you want to earn the title of 366 Weird Movies’ Weirdest Search Term of the Week, you can always go with the tried and true strategy of simply throwing out as many incompatible nouns as you can think of… to wit, this week’s winner: “japanese bondage movie lesbian snake romance sex musician is held captive.”

Here’s how the ridiculously-long (and ever-growing) reader-suggested review queue now stands: Street Trash (next week!);  Allegro Non Troppo (next week!); Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll bring you the unexpected: some actual, honest-to-God film criticism, with Jesse Miksic‘s essay on the psychogeography of Phantasm. We’ll then return to our regularly scheduled assembly-line movie reviewing with looks at Brandon Cronenberg’s “sick” movie Antiviral (2012) and a microcbudgeted mock/doc-umentary called The Wick: Dispatches from the Isle of Wonder (which is available for viewing for free on YouTube, if you want to get a jump on us).

It’s time for our survey of the weirdest search terms that brought people to the site last week, a feature we like to call “Weirdest Search terms of the Week.” We’ll start off with “a weird movie about soap brain control,” which would be a very weird movie indeed (and one we’d like to see). But even stranger is the search for “cannibal movie hot women having baby,” which leaves a lot of questions unanswered. Like, are the women giving birth to babies, or having them for lunch? And are the women “hot” because they’re physically attractive, or because cannibals have roasted them in the oven at 450 degrees for 45 minutes, probably with a side of rosemary new potatoes? Odd as that was, we have to give our official vote Weirdest Search term of the Week to the persistent man looking for an “indian very very very very very very very vety xaxy gral movie.” Lesser men would have been satisfied with a “very very very xaxy gral movie,” but we admire the way this guy goes that extra mile to make sure he finds the absolute xaxiest Indian grals on the Internet.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week we’ll look at 2013 Blu-ray releases for weird inspiration. We’ll start with the most recent of the bunch— gore-comedy Deadball, pitched (hee hee) as a sort-of remake of his early-career Battlefield Baseball (2003). Next up, we welcome Ralph Bakshi to 366 Weird Movies with a look at his pimp-and-ho underground animation experiment Heavy Traffic (1973). Also on tap is Stuart Gordon’s From Beyond (1986), an R-rated Lovecraftian horror that we also found lying in wait in the reader-suggested review queue.

Last week the weird search terms were flying fast and furious through our server logs, making it easy to pick a Weirdest Search Term of the Week. This week, that isn’t so much the case. In fact, you non-weirdos out there were looking for such normal and obvious topics that something like “list of hollywood movie naked womens is battle for kingdom or land” was actually one of the stranger strings we saw. We wonder if that search might be at least tangentially related to the quest to find out about the “jane fonda nude gag report.” Maybe not, but we wouldn’t be surprised if the previous searcher would also be interested in finding “barbarella hairy videos.” Of course, even in the leanest weeks for bizarre searches, there’s always one deviant out there who comes up with some search no one in the history of humanity has ever thought of. This week, that searcher is the guy who decided it would be nice if he could find “pumpkin meat bikini in the sea sew beautiful goddess sucks pov.” You had us at “pumpkin meat bikini,” guy.

So, here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: From Beyond (next week!);  Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE