Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll bring you the unexpected: some actual, honest-to-God film criticism, with Jesse Miksic‘s essay on the psychogeography of Phantasm. We’ll then return to our regularly scheduled assembly-line movie reviewing with looks at Brandon Cronenberg’s “sick” movie Antiviral (2012) and a microcbudgeted mock/doc-umentary called The Wick: Dispatches from the Isle of Wonder (which is available for viewing for free on YouTube, if you want to get a jump on us).

It’s time for our survey of the weirdest search terms that brought people to the site last week, a feature we like to call “Weirdest Search terms of the Week.” We’ll start off with “a weird movie about soap brain control,” which would be a very weird movie indeed (and one we’d like to see). But even stranger is the search for “cannibal movie hot women having baby,” which leaves a lot of questions unanswered. Like, are the women giving birth to babies, or having them for lunch? And are the women “hot” because they’re physically attractive, or because cannibals have roasted them in the oven at 450 degrees for 45 minutes, probably with a side of rosemary new potatoes? Odd as that was, we have to give our official vote Weirdest Search term of the Week to the persistent man looking for an “indian very very very very very very very vety xaxy gral movie.” Lesser men would have been satisfied with a “very very very xaxy gral movie,” but we admire the way this guy goes that extra mile to make sure he finds the absolute xaxiest Indian grals on the Internet.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week we’ll look at 2013 Blu-ray releases for weird inspiration. We’ll start with the most recent of the bunch— gore-comedy Deadball, pitched (hee hee) as a sort-of remake of his early-career Battlefield Baseball (2003). Next up, we welcome Ralph Bakshi to 366 Weird Movies with a look at his pimp-and-ho underground animation experiment Heavy Traffic (1973). Also on tap is Stuart Gordon’s From Beyond (1986), an R-rated Lovecraftian horror that we also found lying in wait in the reader-suggested review queue.

Last week the weird search terms were flying fast and furious through our server logs, making it easy to pick a Weirdest Search Term of the Week. This week, that isn’t so much the case. In fact, you non-weirdos out there were looking for such normal and obvious topics that something like “list of hollywood movie naked womens is battle for kingdom or land” was actually one of the stranger strings we saw. We wonder if that search might be at least tangentially related to the quest to find out about the “jane fonda nude gag report.” Maybe not, but we wouldn’t be surprised if the previous searcher would also be interested in finding “barbarella hairy videos.” Of course, even in the leanest weeks for bizarre searches, there’s always one deviant out there who comes up with some search no one in the history of humanity has ever thought of. This week, that searcher is the guy who decided it would be nice if he could find “pumpkin meat bikini in the sea sew beautiful goddess sucks pov.” You had us at “pumpkin meat bikini,” guy.

So, here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: From Beyond (next week!);  Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll take a bite out of the reader-suggested review queue with the 1969 all-star satire The Magic Christian; gaze at ‘ latest “pornophilosophical” film, Gallino: The Chicken System; and we’ll retread our review of ‘ killer-tire opus, Rubber.

Of course, you’re not here to find out what movies we’ll be reviewing next week; you’re here to read our recap of the weirdest search terms used to locate the site last week. It’s a little featurette we like to call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” And it was a rich week in search terms, starting off with the guy looking for “james cameron’s 3d blockbuster dumb & hung” (we did find a movie called Dumb & Hung, but not surprisingly it was not a 3D blockbuster directed by James Cameron). “Dwarf killer ballerina pig swan dog horror movie” sounds like someone got Don’t Look Now, Black Swan and two or three other movies all mixed up in their mind, but if all those elements really show up in a single movie, we want to see it. Our next search—“lesbian snuff movies”—isn’t so bizarre, by our elevated standards, but what impressed us was the searcher’s persistence. Apparently unimpressed by his results, he went back to Google a few days later clarifying that what he really wanted to see were “sensual lesbian snuff movies.” If you’re going to make snuff movies, for goodness sake, remember the ladies like a little bit of foreplay first to put them in the mood! Finally, even though we suspect this is probably a real thing, we still have to vote “gay bath houses in winnipeg diaper night” our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Why do we think  has something to do with that event?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue looks: The Magic Christian (next week!); Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Here’s what we’ve got planned for next week: we’ll start with Alice Through the Looking Glass, a rare adaptation of the “other” Lewis Carroll classic done by BBC television in 1973.  Then we’ll look at Walk Away Renee, Jonathan Caouette’s experimental, occasionally psychedelic documentary tribute to his mentally ill mother of the same name. And we’ll take another hit of soy sauce as we once again dip into the sci-fi madness of ‘s John Dies at the End.

Last week, someone arrived here at 366 Weird Movies by typing “just weirdness” into a search engine. Although we certainly like to see that, that is not the strangest route Google has sent people on to arrive at this destination; in fact, we’ve built an entire mini-feature called “Weirdest Search Term of the Week” around the idea. We’ll begin with the guy who ended up here after originally looking for “blonde babe is blaster.com.” We don’t have blonde babes who are blasters here, but it’s equally true that we lack info on “movie – very handsome man with a mole on his penis” (although that search arguably would be closer to our mission).  But we have to say that the official Weirdest Search Term of the Week has put an idea in our heads for the next project we can tackle after 366 Weird Movies has added that 366th movie to the List: “366 weird lawyers.” We’ll start off that list with this Florida medical malpractice attorney. If you know of any weird lawyers, give us a tip in the comments section. We need 365 more for our next list project, and would like to get a head start!

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue looks: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week we’ll be focusing on new DVD releases, although two of those reviews will incidentally cover official reader suggestions. The “new discovery” is the backwoods folk horror Jug Face, while we’ll be thrilled to finally remove ‘s absurdist dognapping comedy Wrong and the bizarre anti-advertising sci-fi polemic Branded from that still-ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue (quoted below in full).

Here we go: it’s our weekly examination of the weirdest search terms that led readers to our humble site, a feature we like to call “Weirdest Search Term of the Week.” First off, in the “we’re not sure if this is dirty or just a random collection of words” category comes the search for “scoreland joung kits hary pussycat dolls i hate this part.” We wonder if we should get the guy who searched for “black wife with big breasts play chess” together with the guy looking for “weird naked moms;” we just think they’d hit off, for some reason. For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, though, we’ll go with “big fat girl crushing dwarf stories.” We make this selection despite the fact that the cynic in us is sure that big fat girls are a recognized subgenre of erotic dwarf crushing literature.

As promised above, here’s your look at our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue: Wrong (next week!); Branded (next week!); Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week we will knock out three titles from that ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue you see below. We’ll start with Alex Proyas’ 1998 sci-fi noir cult favorite Dark City, segue into ‘s recent, divisive, talky feature Cosmopolis, and move from that character study of a limo-cruising one-percenter to a portrait of junker-repossessing ninety-nine-percenters in the 1980s punk classic Repo Man.

We noticed only a few notably strange search terms for our weekly survey of the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week, but we did see enough deranged doozies to make a field. We’re not sure if “black celebrities locked in basement of white man dressed as a pig” is someone’s mangled movie memory or what, but it caught our eye as one weird bit of info to be looking up online. Our next highlighted search is even weirder: “dramatic midget isn.t sleepy film izle.” (Believe it or not, there is a YouTube clip with this title; now, can someone get a “dramatic midget isn’t sleepy” meme going?) For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, however, we’ll have to go with the search for this odd assemblage of characters: “hakk fishermen, taipei prostitutes & dysfunctional children.” Sounds like one hell of a family reunion!

Here’s how the ridiculously-long (but actually shrinking!) reader-suggested review queue stands: Dark City (next week!); Cosmopolis (next week!); Repo Man (next week!); Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

We’ll have a little mini-theme next week as we take a look at a couple of new horror anthologies: The Theatre Bizarre (2011) and The ABCs of Death (2012). We’ll break that pattern soon enough, though, as, due to reader demand, we add ‘s disgusting and political Sweet Movie (1974) to the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies ever made. On Thursday Alfred will give us his overview of the career of French poet/Surrealist/weird movie maker Jean Cocteau (possibly the biggest director in this genre that we’ve somehow managed to avoid talking about during 366’s years of existence). And of course on Friday, as always, we give you an update on what’s new and upcoming in the world of weird movies.

Can’t say it was the weirdest week in weird search terms, which makes our weekly search for the Weirdest Search Term of the Week weirdly weak. You guys out there need to step up the weirdness. Pickings are so slim that we’re forced to highlight relatively normal searches like “black and white cartoon beard chopping up man” just to fill out this column. A little bit weirder is the search for “www.matuer dantist movies.com.” The only thing we can make out of this is that the searcher is looking for a site that specializes in posting movies of amateur dentists (or possibly mature dentists, which is only slightly less bizarre). For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with “eating penise hips other parts movies names lists.” Penises, hips, and other parts, yum!

Here’s how the ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

You the people have spoken, and we heard your voices: look for the promised ascension of ‘s gangsters-in-a-haunted-house melodrama Keyhole to the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies ever made next week. Along with that much-anticipated entry, we’ll throw in less-expected reviews of ‘s surreal supernatural sequel Phantasm IV and the classic drama Wild Strawberries. All that and more await you as the summer heats up (here in the Northern Hemisphere, at least).

The Internet’s porn searchers are the meat that keeps 366 Weird Movie’s famous “Weirdest Search Term of the Week” contest alive. So many of their searches are unprintable in a family publication such as this, but fortunately poor spelling frequently transforms the perverse into the puzzling, as is the case with our first contestant: “weird girls who have 3titiy free movies pron.” Also, we’re pretty sure “hairy netload” refers to something dirty, though we can’t figure out what it is to save our lives. Finally, “i can’t find a porn movie where her neighbour is having sex” strikes us as frankly unbelievable; you, sir, are the worst porn searcher in history. Still, despite all that would-be filth, we’ll name the remarkably clean “quote from movie full of grace! full of grace!! weird movie about boy and a talking nun statue full of grace full of grace” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, more because of the formulation—-the needless repetition and the excited punctuation—than the content (BTW, we think the movie they’re looking for is probably Pecker.)

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only three more days left to vote in the 4th Readers’ Choice Poll, and at least one contest is still undecided. In Group A, Sweet Movie holds a commanding seventeen vote lead over its nearest competitor (Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie) as the pre-1990 movie 366 Weird Movies fans would most like to see make the List. Not as impressive, but still solid, is That Obscure Object of Desire‘s ten vote lead over The Adventures of Baron Munchausen in the “rescue” category. The interesting contest is in Group B, where Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, which once seemed the unassailable favorite to win, has suddenly fallen behind Keyhole. It seems appropriate that the post-1990 category would come down to a battle between and , who have been the twin standard bearers for weird cinema in the modern age; can’t go wrong with either of those guys, really. We’ll know the final results next Wednesday…

Besides seeing the results of the Readers’ Choice poll, here’s what else you’ll be getting at 366 Weird Movies next week: a look at ‘s latest microbudget opus, The Synthetic Man; a review of Sean Penn’s performance as a Nazi-hunting retired Goth rocker in This Must Be the Place (a reader-suggested review); and coverage of the creepy/charming stop motion animated ToyStory-meets-Jan-Svankamjer feature, Toys in the Attic. As a special bonus, Alfred Eaker will be reveal his latest short film, “Requiem for the Relentless Father,” the Biblical story of Saul retold in a Roaring Twenties gangster milieu.

Ah, the weird fetish porn searchers. Without you, we might not be able to host our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest at all. You guys look for the strangest things, sometimes with a ridiculous level of specificity. Take, for example, the search for  “hairy old sex 56yeas vide0 1940.” “Hairy old sex” would be a reasonable, if disgusting, fetish to search for; but why specifically “56 years old,” and what’s the significance of the year 1940 in the search query? Still, the hirsute pentagenarian fans have nothing on the diaper demographic, who were out in force this week searching for “pipelining diaper erotic.” The grown-up nappy crowd also supplied us with our official choice for Weirdest Search Term of the Week: “abdl diaper forced linear regression.” Whenever I hear that term, I picture adults sitting around in diapers while teachers force them to draw a “best fit” line through a graph of scatterplot data.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: This Must Be the Place (next week!); Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Don’t forget to vote in the fourth reader’s choice poll to select two movies to put on the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies of All Time. At this writing, Sweet Movie and The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie are fighting it out in Group A, while Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me has a substantial lead over Beyond the Black Rainbow in Group B. We’ve also seen That Obscure Object of Desire moving out ahead of early frontrunner The Adventures of Baron Munchausen in the “rescue” category. With a week to go things can change significantly, so keep voting! (You can vote once per day).

On to regularly scheduled business, i.e. the announcement of next week’s review slate. As lovers of everything Alice, we’ll start the week with a look at the BBC’s 1986 miniseries production of Alice in Wonderland. We’ll then treat you to an early peek at ‘s sophomore effort, the road movie/black comedy/horror feature The Rambler, then check out another fantasy in Howl’s Moving Castle (recently released on Blu-ray). There may be a surprise new release review thrown in there as well. You’ll just have to check in to find out.

We’ll start off our weekly countdown of the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week by mentioning the search for “weird porn mosquitos,” not because it’s bizarre enough to win the week, but because we’re proud to announce that we’re currently ranked #2 on Google for that search string! (We hope that you mosquito porn fetishists are finding something to interest you on this site). Weirder yet, however, is the search for “weirdwomentwobodyshavingsexstucktogether,” which would make for a very strange request even if the searcher’s space bar wasn’t broken. An extra point for the way the query is formed to reflect the desired “stucktogether” subject matter. Still, sometimes it’s the simplest searches that stand out as our favorites, and that’s the case with this week’s winner, “naked nypho lesbian sex slaves on acid.” Who here can honestly say that, at one time or another, they have not felt the need to search the internet for information on naked nympho lesbian sex slaves? This Googler’s particular weird genius is to seek out only such slaves who’ve taken the hallucinogen LSD.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Liquid Sky (re-review); Society (official review); The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao; Allegro Non Troppo; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Celine and Julie Go Boating; “Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life;” Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE