Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 68 movies left to Certify Weird! (That number is right, we didn’t miscount: see the explanation below).

Alfred Eaker kicks us off next week with a review of Flicker Alley’s new Blu-ray release of the short that birthed the fantastique, “A Trip to the Moon.” Then,  Bryan Pike updates you on the new existential  indie release It Takes from Within, Pete Trbovich knocks one out of the review queue with a shout-out to Britain’s The Shout (1978), and G. Smalley goes classic and retro with an examination of ‘s surrealistic debut, Blood of a Poet (1930).

No fooling here: the quotes below are actual search terms weirdos used to find 366 Weird Movies this past week. First, the search for a “movie where man says etcettera” goes into our “can you narrow that down for me?” file. We would be remiss if we did not note the search for “lesbian girls and doll pul movies.com” (it was making sense until the “doll pul” arrived). Then we have a pair of perhaps related searches: a jazz cinema fan’s search for “sax films of 2012,” which might possibly be better found on the site “sax bandits.com”. Simple misspellings can sometimes lead to ambiguity: is the guy looking for “twin leaks 366 weird movies” actually looking for the television series, or the pee fetish porn parody? A similar searching error led to our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, “link floyd thé wool”. The misspellings are bad enough, but going out of your way to add an accent aigu to the “thé” that makes the search acutely weird.

On to the bit of business hinted at above: many of you have expressed dismay that the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies ever made is nearing its end, and are afraid that your worthy favorites will not fit into the few remaining slots. If you fall into that category, we have good news: we’re removing some of the dead wood to make way for better choices. Obviously, when we started this List ten years ago, we were very different people than now. As you may have noticed with Alfred’s series on spirituality themed movies, we are (a little!) more mature than the crazy live-for-today 40somethings who started this List. We recognize that we made mistakes in the early days (and even in the later days), and canonized a few movies of questionable intent that didn’t deserve to be honored. What better day than Easter Day, 2018 to announce a culling of the List and the rebirth of a new one? We’re going to free up twenty-seven movie slots by canceling several of our rasher and more questionable choices. These entries have already disappeared from the sidebar list; we’ll detail them below, with an explanation for each film’s removal.

REMOVED FROM THE LIST:

3-Iron (2004) – With the sexual assault allegations against director , we can no longer in good conscience allow him to be honored on our List.

Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 42 more titles left to Certify Weird…

Next week, Alfred Eaker is scheduled to finish up his mini-series on ‘s “Silence of God” trilogy with the final entry in the triptych, 1963’s The Silence. Then Terri McSorley gives you the lowdown on Scream Factory’s 2017 set—a big improvement in quality for fans of 70s Eurohorror in general and the Spanish wolfman in particular. Next, it’s a art criticism double feature, as Shane Wilson tackles Dan Zukovic’s angry, punkish 2004 black art-world comedy Darc Arc, while G. Smalley enters the painted world of for an examination of his mysterious Hypothesis of the Stolen Painting.

Privacy filters are becoming so prevalent that we can now only see less than 5% of the search terms used to access the site. This gives us so few candidates to consider for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest that we may have to consider retiring the feature. A victory for the consumer, perhaps, but a loss for weirdness. We promise to soldier on as long as we can, showing you the weirdest searches of the under 5% we can see, such as this week’s “teen age romance &sax.com.” “blue planet loses to banzai” reads a bit weirder (although there is a logical explanation for this one). Fortunately for us, the person searching for “milf lesbian seducing small girls aliens devils shemales xxx rated” chose not to hide his or her search from our prying eyes. And why should they? Nothing suspicious or sick about that search, is there?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Darc Arc (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 43 more movies to Certify Weird…

Next week’s review slate: Alfred Eaker braves the second entry of ‘s “Silence of God” trilogy with the chilly Winter Light (1963). Meanwhile, Shane Wilson investigates the absurd kidnapping farce Avida (2006), G. Smalley fills you in on W.C. Fields’ historical wartime oddity Never Give a Sucker an Even Break (1941), and Bryan Pike reviews…. a coloring book?

Once again, it’s time for our weekly survey of the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site. We’ll begin with the search for an “old movie stars a boy looks like rat who attends college”—maybe the unproduced sequel Ratboy: The College Years? Our next runner-up is the oddly phrased “killed her brother let her eat movie.” (Two obvious questions: did she eat her brother, and if so, who let her?) Our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week is the very specific “whores shooting up meth and getting freaky in macon mo.” Trivia: Wikipedia lists the population of Macon, Mo. as only 5,500 people, so that’s one freaky slice of small town America.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Avida (2006) (next week!); Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability);  Spermula; Killer Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, Alfred Eaker branches off from his “spirituality” mini-series with a mini-mini-series as he begins a discussion of ‘s “Silence of God” trilogy with a look at the first entry, Through a Glass Darkly. Then,

Last week was not that weird a week in weird search terms, which makes for a weak week in our search for the Weirdest Search Term of the Week. We’re down to “weird film where angels kiss etc” for our honorable mentions (and but for the superfluous “etc,” that wouldn’t even have caught our notice). “vampie hunler caphuled” is only worth a mention due to the outstandingly drunken spelling. Fortunately, we have one legit weird search term in “sex scene lays on a sack rejected” to salvage the week.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Catch-22 (next week!); Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability);  Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); The Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only forty-five more titles to Certify Weird.

Check back later today for the official unveiling of the winners of this year’s Weirdcademy Awards.

Here’s what’s on tap next week: Alfred Eaker‘s contribution will be a mystery, wrapped in a (?) enigma. G. Smalley goes to the movies to report on Annihilation (hint: you should see it while you can). El Rob Hubbard catches us up on 2017’s Satanic A Dark Song. And Giles Edwards braves the reader-suggested queue for ‘s obsessive, 3+ hour experimental mockumentary, The Falls.

The increasing use of privacy settings continues to impede our quest to bring you, the faithful reader, a list of the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week, but here’s what we saw. “girl gets dress bitten off by snake and says how expensive it was then gets eaten” probably describes a real movie; yet somehow, the query comes across as a little weird to us. A bit stranger is “want a penis long enough to pumpin a vagina .com”. Kind of sad, really, but it’s the addition of the “.com” that tips it from “pathetic” to “weird” for us.  For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we will go with “spitting impalement from old horror movie (unknown)” (not sure what extra value the parenthesized “unknown” is supposed to add, but it does add extra oddness).

We’re moving Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya] into the out-of-print holding pen. With that adjustment, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: The Falls (next week!); Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability);  Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Remember, this week you’ll be voting for the Weirdest Movie, Actor, Actress, Scene and of 2017 in the 8th Annual Weirdcademy Awards. Your ballot is here, and the shorts program is available here.

Next week, Alfred Eaker continues his “spirituality” series with ‘s The Mirror. In honor of the upcoming Academy Awards we’ll look at the one movie worthy of weird notice: ‘s Cold War bestiality fantasy, The Shape of Water. Then, we’ll look at two items from the reader-suggested queue: the recent-ish British indie memory-recovery thingee Skeletons, and Japan’s silent Expressionist relic, 1926’s A Page of Madness.

We’ve complained before that the increasing use of privacy filters is destroying our weekly survey of Weirdest Search Terms of the Week, making it so only searches from poor countries where they can’t afford privacy get through. That’s why this week we’re reduced to featuring such searches as “movie kids brother died. his hero fighter named animal has shock collar on gets killed” in this column. (Yeah, that’s probably just a badly-phrased search for a real movie, but what are you gonna do?) Only slightly stranger is the search for “free pure black and white 1950s beastiality movie with shower scene.” Things are so bad that something like “sister show her pantis of her braxer erktik movi” can win our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest purely due to atrocious spelling and grammar. Let’s turn those privacy filters off and do better next week, shall we, guys?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Skeletons (next week!); A Page of Madness (next week!); Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability); The Falls; Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; I Am Here Now; Sir Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 47 movies left to Certify Weird…

Next week Alfred Eaker continues his unofficial spiritual movie quest by meditating on Andrei Rublev, ‘s early, controversial (in the Soviet Union) biography of the titular icon painter. Next up, Giles Edwards dives into the reader-suggested queue for a look at ‘s gory 1987 debut, Bad Taste. Giles will also take a second look at ‘s shroomy historical saga A Field in England, while G. Smalley looks at the chilly new Estonian fairy tale fantasy November (briefly mentioned by the aforementioned Giles in his 2017 Fantasia Festival coverage). We’re filling in holes and patching up oversights as we continue to build to the magical 366.

This week’s weirdest search terms come with an alien theme. The least strange of these is the search for “hungarian alien porn,” a genre we did not realize Hungarians specialized in. A bit stranger in “alien stealing white blood”; who knew there were alien KKK sympathizers? Our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, “dial are sick also monkey movie since our own a sitter,” stretches the theme to its breaking point. We contend that only an alien completely unfamiliar with Earth movies could have submitted such an outlandish and incoherent request. Or perhaps a monkey.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Bad Taste (next week!); Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability); The Falls; Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

As of this week, there are only 48 Weird Movies left to Certify.

We’ll start next week’s journey as Alfred Eaker continued his sidebar on legitimately spiritual films with Robert Bresson’s 1951 drama Diary of a Country Priest. Shane Wilson follows up with an arguably spiritual film (though from an atheist): ‘s experimental deathbed confession, Blue (1993). Then Giles Edwards will tackle the last year’s less spiritual, but probably weirder, Australian micro-budget black comedy Hitler Lives!, before we end the week with a second look at the Little-Red-Riding-Hood-meets-TheHowling horror, The Company of Wolves (1984).

The movies above (at least some of them) are weird, but what about the dubious films we saw asked about in search queries, queries that we will now feature in our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest? For example, someone was looking for a “movie eels in stomach long life raped daughter.” Equally strange is the possibility that “a beast eat human organ and swing them and hang on wall movie” exists. We decided the weirdest search was for “list of 80s movie natives compiet with giant egg on there head race with subtitles,” because the searcher thinks that movies about natives racing with giant eggs on their heads is an entire subgenre of films (and wants to see only the subtitled ones, thank you very much).

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Blue (next week!); Bad Taste; Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Here’s what we got coming next week: after having written a savage expose on s, Alfred Eaker does penance by bringing some legitimately spiritual films to your attention, beginning with Carl Theodor Dreyer‘s Day of Wrath. The, new writer John Francis Klingle introduces us to a new form of odd cinema, the fan film, using the Star Trek Time Warp Trilogy as his text. And things get existential at the end of the week as Shane Wilson reaches into the reader-suggested queue for a look at the 2001 adaptation of Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot, while Pete Trbovich spearheads a second look at 1997’s puzzler Cube. We continue our march to 366 titles…

It’s time once again for our weekly survey of weird search terms that brought people to the site, a feature we like to call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” First up: “lonely maid deflowered in tricky arranged party,” which almost makes sense but is just too bizarrely worded (“tricky arranged party”?) to pass up. We then turn our attention to a search for a “film where a big oil looking puddle eats people in a lake” (we can almost picture this one…) But our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week has to be “2x indion ten rape virgen father.” Aside from the incoherently disturbing premise of the query, there are multiple levels of strangeness at work here: the unconventional spelling, the mysterious “2x,” and the fact that the searcher seems to believe a man can be both a virgin and a father.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands:  Waiting for Godot (2001) (next week!); Bad Taste; Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Quick note: with movie #316 Certified Weird, that officially means we’re down to the last 50. What a milestone!

So with that in mind, for next week Alfred Eaker plans to return from vacation with another pick (this time, it’s Welles’ Falstaff adaptation, Chimes at Midnight). Then Bryan Pike looks at two recent releases: Manos: The Rise of Torgo (you may recall Bryan interviewing director about his Manos prequel while the project was in the works) and ‘s quiet sequel to his “” short “World of Tomorrow” (“World of Tomorrow 2: The Burden of Other People’s Dreams”). Finally, G. Smalley will go outside of the new release/reader suggestion box for our third venture into the weird world of , 2001’s Millennium Actress.

It’s time once again for our weekly survey of the weirdest search terms that brought people to the site this week, a feature we quite sensibly call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” First we’ll mention one of the more printable of the incest porn searches we constantly see, “incest scene from mainstream movies the mad son doing strange things.” (For some reason, the Internet thinks 366 Weird Movies is an incest and bestiality based porn site. I blame ). Next up is “girl yells is he dead then walks away man floats”: we certainly hope this Googler was describing a scene from a movie and not a real life experience. Finally, our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week is “3d alien p*** woman gets impregnated video.” The use of wildcards in your dirty search terms is rarely a good idea, guys. Is it “3d alien pets woman, gets impregnated”? Maybe “3d alien, part woman, gets impregnated”? We’ll never know what your actual alien impregnation kink is if you don’t spell it out for us.

Here’s the ridiculously-long-and-still-growing reader-suggested review queue. A few notes: you guys understand that, given the incredible length of this queue and the fact that we only have 50 slots remaining, the majority of these will never get reviewed, right? (We will continue to review items out of this queue, selectively). Also, in housekeeping news, we’ll be moving The Annunciation (1984) into the “out of print” holding pen. We suspect that the liberal amount of (non-pornographic) child nudity in that film, combined with noncommercial weirdness, makes it an unappealing choice for any distributor. Anyway, here’s what we have, in order of submission: Bad Taste; Visitor of a Museum [Posetitel muzeya]; Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability); The Falls; Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; I Am Here Now; Sir Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE