Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

First off, just in case you’re one of those visitors who never checks anything beyond the top post, you should know that we announced the long-delayed release of the 366 Weird Movies 2016 Yearbook today. Check it out, won’t you?

Next week we put the past behind us and focus on the present as Alfred Eaker delivers the first of his contracted Summer Blockbuster series with a look at Alien: Covenant (which he concludes “contains some of Scott’s most assured filmmaking, along with his roughest”). Immediately after that one drops, we’ll forget about the present and focus on the past as Giles Edwards considers 1999’s bleak incest drama The War Zone, and G. Smalley looks at the early K-horror Suddenly in the Dark (a offering that did at least debut on home video in North America for the first time this year) and ‘s startling 1999 J-horror Audition. 2016 may be technically over, but we’ll always soldier on through all eras of weirdness in search of the strangest that cinema has to offer.

This week’s suite of featured searches in our Weirdest Search Term of the Week series all have little stories to tell. Of course, their all told by perverts. We’ll start with “1990’s old comedy movie where a black man is given fat women to sleep with instead of the small beautiful ones”: a clear case of racial discrimination if we’ve ever seen one. Next up is “johnny has been a bad boy so he ended up in prison, a prison were the warden is a woman, and movies.com,”; a sort of mixed blessing for Johnny, we assume, and for movies.com. But our favorite bizarre vignette of the week was undoubtedly “seeing a old sex horse art museum she stopped in nude movie.” Read it as “seeing an old sex-horse art museum, she stopped in, nude” to get the full weird impact.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: The War Zone (next week!); Audition (next week!); Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Those of you who’ve been waiting for the 2016 edition of the 366 Weird Movies Yearbook will be happy to know that we’re in the final stags of proofing. Look for an announcement as soon as the end of this upcoming week. As far as this week’s new online content goes: Alfred Eaker will give us part 2 of his 1978 exploitation movie survey (highlighted by ‘s “vampire” movie Martin) and Alex Kittle brings you your first look at the psychological drama/thriller Buster’s Mal Heart, while G. Smalley checks in with a Japanese double feature of the 1985 “noodle Western” Tampopo and a second look at the berserk prison-break anime Dead Leaves (2004).

Now it’s time for our survey of weird search terms that brought visitors to the site, a feature we like to call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” First up we have to mention “what is the name of an old movie where a man wasnt able to make a woman pregnant and he was told to eat balls which would make him make his wife pregnant,” a search term weird indeed, but one that we will disqualify from consideration as weirdest of the week simply because we believe it probably refers to a real movie. Speaking of real movies, we have to give it to the guy looking for “a fat man try to sex with a sexy girl in a zombie movie”: sometimes simple cinematic pleasures are the best. Slightly stranger than these is the search for an “all english hot adult father in low movie list.” (Gotta like the idea of specifying “low” movies; don’t want the search to accidentally come up with waste-of-time highbrow hot adult father movies). There’s not that much strangeness out there in Googleland this week, so we’re going to go a different direction and select “friends boring strangers” as our Weirdest Search Term of the Week. While we can’t think of any logical reason to search for that particular phrase, perhaps the weirdest thing about it is it seems to have nothing to do with sex.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Tampopo (next week!); Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil Doll; Vermilion Souls Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week Alfred Eaker starts on part 1 of his survey of exploitation films (he’s up to 1978, the year of Boys from Brazil and The Fury). In other entries in an eclectic week, Terri McSorley gives us the lowdown on the new edition of Multiple Maniacs, while Shane Wilson provides a capsule on Season 11 of . And G. Smalley brings us a second look at ‘s “superhero burlesque,” Batman Returns.

(Speaking of G., he’ll also be working quietly in the background putting the finishing touches on the print version of the 2016 Yearbook—the Kindle version is already out, don’t you know?)

We’re noticing that weird search terms now showing up in our server logs—in fact, almost all of our search terms—are porn/fetish related. A sign of the times, we suppose, although why 2017 should be so much more perverted than 2016, we can’t say. What we can say is that “japanese sex 🎥 in hindi,” was among the weirder search terms we saw (though only because the searcher managed to include a camera icon in their query, which is as rare as it is pointless). Besides that, we also caught “teen milking himself” (himself?), “mom affair boos porn moves.com” (boo!), and “cave man turist kidnnap sex videos.” (See what we mean about the pr0n?) We’ll cap off this sexy week with a pair of vagina-themed items: “mad vagina 3gp” and our official winner of the unofficial Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest, “black guy safes vagina hair movie.” Doesn’t anyone go on Google anymore when they’re not stoned and horny?

Here’s how our ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil Doll; Vermilion Souls Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, after Alfred Eaker finishes up his survey of 1977’s exploitation movie scene with a look at ‘s  breakthrough body horror Rabid (and many others), Giles Edwards will fulfill all your Phantasm desires with a look at both the series’ putative finale—Phantasm: Ravager—and the recently-released  box set “The Phantasm Collection: Special Edition.” You can also catch Shane Wilson update his old review for The Tingler. While all this is going on, G. Smalley will not be simply sunbathing and drinking imperial stout: he’ll be hard at work on putting the final touches on the long-overdue 366 Weird Movies 2016 Yearbook—so hopefully, we’ll soon have some news to report on that project, as well.

It’s another slim week for weird search terms used to locate the site. Thank goodness for semi-literate perverts, otherwise we would have nothing to feature in our contest for Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Probably the least salacious search we saw this week was the one for “horror. sex. aliens. port. movies.” (Nice use of periods). Going with obvious misspellings always seems like cheating on the list, but nonetheless we couldn’t pass up either “english aunty duck on boy servant” or “hat butful milf full movie.” For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll pick “sex orgy in valentains day of vaginas full length movie s.com.” Is “Valentine’s Day of Vaginas” an actual holiday somewhere?

Here’s how our ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil Doll; Vermilion Souls Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll start off with Alfred Eaker (now on Mondays!) and his continuing survey of the 1970s exploitation landscape with a first look at 1977: the year that brought us Star Wars, yes, but also the aquatic zombie shocker Shock Waves and the self-explanatory Satan’s Cheerleaders. Speaking of shlock, er, shock, Pete Trbovich digs into the reader-suggested queue and drags out a little “Penthouse”-backed epic called Caligula. And G. Smalley will knock a couple more out of the queue with reviews of ‘s 1980 psychological romance Bad Timing and 1955’s silent horror experiment Dementia [Daughter of Horror]. And no, we haven’t forgotten about the 2016 Yearbook—editing continues in our spare time…

It was an awful week for weird search terms, making our survey of the most bizarre queries that brought people to the site—that beloved feature we call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week”—a bit of a sad exercise. Where are the web weirdos? We know you’re out there. Things were so bad we were forced to consider “‘her lower half’ horror movie” as one of the weirder search terms we saw. Maybe that was the same searcher who was looking for another one of our contestants, “3gp vagina warts.” We’ll throw up our hands and pick the simple “teen vomit” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Things have to get weirder next week, they just have to…

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Caligula (next week!); Bad Timing (AKA Bad Timing: A Sensual Obsession) (next week!); Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia] (next week!); Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, Shane Wilson gives you his take on the new live-action Ghost in the Shell extravaganza—not a List contender, for sure, but a flick that will be of interest to a lot of you. Getting weirder, Giles Edwards looks back at ‘ 1967 Coffin Joe sequel This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse (with its memorable trip to Technicolor hell), while G. Smalley knocks one out of the reader-suggested queue with a look at Fernando Arrabal’s surreal and bromantic 1973 jewel-thief-meets-mystical-dwarf surrealist oddity I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse. And, returning to the mainstream for a moment, we’ll have our poll for you to send Alfred (and Aja) Eaker on their yearly pilgrimage to the multiplex for our annual exercise in sadism, “Alfred Eaker vs. the s.” Any spare time G. gets, he’ll be working on finalizing that long overdue 2016 print yearbook…

Now is the time when we survey the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site this week, a feature we sensibly call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” Strange cinematic diets made a mini-theme this week, as we noted both “commercial in movie shows other white meat snake movie” and “movie were girl gets cut up puppy and eats it.” We have to give an incomplete—but a weird incomplete—to the person who told Google “we ied about in the wa.” For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, let’s go with “all cebelit seks.” We like to imagine that this is a misspelling for “all celibate sex,” because that’s how our weird searchers minds work (we think; frankly, we can’t figure them out at all half the time).

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and -ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse (next week!); Grendel Grendel Grendel; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

G. Smalley is still off on his mysterious project—which we would again like to stress has nothing to do with the Polish ambassador—but will be back tomorrow to start the week relatively fresh. In the meantime, Giles Edwards helps out with a review of the classic black comedy Parents, and Shane Wilson pitches in with a report on the traumatizing Claymation feature The Adventures of Mark Twain (both from the 1980s, and both in the reader-suggested review queue). G. will be back on Wednesday with coverage of ‘s odd roughie Indecent Desires (also in the reader-suggested queue), with an assist from Terri McSorley. And of course Alfred Eaker chips in his ongoing year-by-year survey of exploitation films; he’s up to 1974, the year that brought us Blood for Dracula [AKA Andy Warhol’s Dracula], It’s Alive, and the Hammer-Shaw Brothers kung fu/horror crossover Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires. And no, we haven’t forgotten about the 2016 Yearbook, which is not too far off…

Time for a quick survey of the weirdest search terms that brought people to the site. Not much to report on this week; we’re reduced to mentioning “amputeefreak” as one of the very oddest terms we saw. A little bit stranger is “holywood film in wich policeman reached with family at a area in wich people suck and eat people.” For our official weirdest search term of the week, we’ll go for “+movie about an ld lady who buries her hand and comes back to life.” Let’s hope those Googlers get lot weirder next week!

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Parents (next week!); The Adventures of Mark Twain (next week!); Indecent Desires (next week!); Grendel Grendel Grendel; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, for reasons that don’t directly concern our readers, head honcho G. Smalley will be away from his desk (and no, sadly he won’t be working on the overdue 2016 Weird Movies Yearbook). Hopefully the only slight hiccup you may notice is comments being slow to be approved, and all of the upcoming content will autopost smoothly. What is that upcoming content, though? Well, Pete Trbovich brings us a look at the rare bug-apocalypse anime Twilight of the Cockroaches (1989); Scott Sentinella gapes at the disco-musical disaster Xanadu (1980); Giles Edwards buys the new 2015 Blu-ray of David Bowie in The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976) as an excuse to cover that one again; and Alfred Eaker marches ahead in his chronological exploitation survey to 1973, the year that brought us Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein, The Satanic Rites of Dracula, and Brian De Palma‘s Sisters. That should be enough to keep you kids busy until G. gets back from his secret mission.

For reasons hinted at above, today’s trip through the weirdest search terms of the week will have to be rushed. In fact, we’re only going to spotlight two terms this week: the hopefully-misspelled runner-up “sexy black putty movie.com” and this week’s truly deserving winner of the weirdest search term of the week, “and i cannot feel the palace where his car is in the a** nailed it till 1 or little one i am searching everywhere hindi.” That bizarre string of verbiage, complete with unnecessary self-censoring, would have dominated a more competitive week.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Twilight of the Cockroaches (next week!); Grendel Grendel Grendel; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; Beauty Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, Rafael Moreira takes a look at ‘s 1992 update/sequel to Tetsuo: The Iron Man, Tetsuo II: Body Hammer. Can it live up to the weirdness of the original? Also, last week’s DVD/Blu-ray release gives G. Smalley the opportunity for our first official look at The Love Witch (a movie that we already ranked #10 on 2016’s Weirdest Movies, and that also earned the enchanting Samantha Robinson a “Weirdest Actress” nod). And even more erotic (sort of) is El Rob Hubbard‘s review of the legendary 1975 underground horror parody/hardcore sex absurdist comedy Thundercrack! And Alfred Eaker takes a break from his yearly exploitation survey to look at another pair of horror anthologies: 1973’s Tales That Witness Madness and 1987’s From a Whisper to a Scream. We usher in Spring in the usual way: with another slate of crazy under-the-radar movies.

Even in otherwise slack weeks for weird search terms, the porn searchers never let us down, giving us something to survey in our weekly look at the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. We’ll start out with the horndog who impressively managed to misspell every single word in his four-term search: “comade cartun groop sax.” Hot blonde cave women bally stob porn,” starts out promisingly, but quickly goes downhill. Normally, “her odd testes film” would be the strangest search term we saw all week, but this week we have to give the award for Weirdest Search Term of the Week to “bırovniyan movement incest.” It superficially looks like “Brownian movement incest,” which wouldn’t make any sense, but what’s even weirder is that “bırovniyan” isn’t a word in any recognized Earth language (and also, “ı” isn’t a letter).

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Thundercrack! (next week!); Grendel Grendel Grendel; Twilight of the Cockroaches; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); Parents; Aqua Teen Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll bring you a look at two new(ish) releases as Shane Wilson covers the latest in the now-sprawling Death Race franchise, Death Race 2050, and G. Smalley peeks at the slightly-surreal coming-out story Closet Monster. We’ll also dig into the reader-suggested review queue for Nuit Noire, an almost indescribable film set in a nocturnal world where the sun only shines for 15 seconds per day. Meanwhile, Alfred Eaker has reached the year of 1972 in his survey of the golden age of the exploitation picture: expect to see Dracula A.D. 1972, Vampire Circus, and The Thing with Two Heads featured.

It wasn’t a prosperous week in terms of weird search terms used to locate the site, which is why we are sharing the simplest amusing spelling errors possible with you: “adult insects movies online” and “banned insect movies” (although if those aren’t misspellings, then they really are some of the weirdest search terms we’ve ever seen). Sticking with examples of hopeless spelling, we’ll bring you “alian woves hooliybood hot sex full movish.” But the official Weirdest Search Term of the Week doesn’t rely on misspelling at all: “threesome with crestfallen manga sluts.” Of all the sexy words in the English language, “crestfallen” may well come in dead last.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands (note: we moved Frank Zappa’s unfinished Uncle Meat to the “currently unavailable” holding pen): Nuit Noire (next week!); Grendel Grendel Grendel; Twilight of the Cockroaches; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE