Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

We’re down to only 20 movies left to Certify Weird…

Some of you may have noticed that the site has been having periodic downtime lately. Please bear with this as we try to get things sorted out behind the scenes. (It may be a consequence of having a giant site full of almost ten years worth of material, and a concomitantly large database to serve all that weird and wonderful content up). We have no full-time professional webmaster on staff to debug these kinds of issues, so it may take a while to gete verything sorted out. If you find the site down, check back in an hour and you’ll usually find everything peachy.

As for next week: Alfred Eaker is still recovering from the trauma inflicted by Slender Man and The Meg, and demanded a week off. We’ll re-run one of his old columns on Monday. In new stuff, Shane Wilson will bring you Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story, the banned biopic starring anorexic Barbie dolls, while Giles Edwards covers the 1966 antiwar cult film King of Hearts (about a schlub who finds himself “king” of a WWI village taken over by madmen), and G. Smalley revisits Goodbye Uncle Tom, and ‘s bizarre and exploitative shock-mockumentary about time-traveling Italian documentarians visiting the antebellum Confederacy to investigate the slave trade. As always, a stranger slate of weekly weirdness would be hard to find.

Weird search terms are getting harder and harder for us to find. You know the reasons why (damnable privacy settings, incognito tabs, and Deep State censorship). We have only two mildly strange queries to report to you this week: “boss is blacmale &sax videos,” and the somewhat stranger “hollywood movies a girls is roboat type and kill people with his breast nipple with a sharp pointed things.” The latter becomes our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week by default. Oh, and we should also mention the search for “oqgmsvp5vvf3hgskz6wvsjy-irvkexoajfjkdsu9zvkdfwr_nrdx3uhxaxnftap9oihyfmpfffkw7gmhg-fvnlcqrdq-4hdkdglszwauoj1_1csk17fdu9i6ttxzsryhpygk9aiwumel5vcmfs7f2y,” but we’re not sure is that’s a weird search term or just an attempt to guess our admin password (nice try, but you’re two characters off, guys). Here’s hoping for weirder next week.

Time for our weekly disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (though we will pick out the occasional title, as you’ll see this week), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-still-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: “Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story” (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 21 movies left to Certify Weird!

Next week Alfred Eaker completes his humiliating obligation to review summer blockbusters by allowing The Meg to chew on his tender artistic sensibilities for a while. How often do you get a read a first-hand report from someone who survived a shark movie attack? Then, Pete Trbovich takes on another microbudget underground movie in The God in My Ear, Shane Wilson dives into the reader-suggested review queue and fish out an 80s beauty in the experimental documentary Koyaanisqatsi, while G. Smalley revisits another favorite from the age of Reagan: the New Wave alien orgasm-hunting oddity, Liquid Sky, finally on Blu-ray! We’re all over the map, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.

It’s time once again for our survey of the Weirdest Search Terms that brought visitors to the site (with the usual disclaimer that privacy settings make 95% of all searches invisible to us). First we’ll mention “movie where actor speaks to his arm,” which sounds as dull as it is strange (unless that arm is one great conversationalist). Next up is a query proving that word order matters: “skinemax movie where old man tries to have sex with a girl with a huge erection she runs away.” I’d say the old man dodged a bullet there. Meanwhile, our official Weirdest Search term of the week would probably be offensive if it wasn’t so incoherent: ‘internacials banging at the border area where frida got poundent hard torrent.” That’s it, and remember to disable those privacy settings when you’re searching for weird movies!

Time for our weekly disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (though we will pick out the occasional title, as you’ll see this week), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Koyaanisqatsi (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 22 more movies to Certify Weird!

With in the books, we get back to what passes for “normal” around here. First up it’s Alfred Eaker, who finds two movies forced upon him in the sadistic “send Alfred Eaker to a summer blockbuster” contest opening in the same week. Will he choose to suffer through the big shark movie The Meg or the Internet-meme horror The Slender Man first? And will he ever forgive readers for forcing these indignities on him? You’ll have to tune in Monday to find out. On a more positive note, Pete Trbovich check’s out YouTube cinephile celebrity Rob Ager‘s sole directorial effort, 2012’s Turn in Your Grave. Then we clean two arty titles out of the reader-suggested review queue: Rafael Moreira will discuss Paul Schrader’s Expressionist biopic Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, while G. Smalley tackles ‘s mysterious parable, Werckmeister Harmonies.

As usual of late, there’s not much in the way of weird search terms to report this week (privacy settings, yada yada). Nevertheless, we soldier on by bringing the somewhat unusual “fat lady blows up basement movie” to your attention. There’s also “charisma yarn,” which, it turns out, is a real brand of yarn—but why would someone searching for it end up here? (Knitters accidentally ending up on 366 Weird Movies may want to check out this, though.) And finally, although we’re loath to give it an official Weirdest Search Term of the Week designation—we think this is another “no award” week—we’ll mention “movie wsre girl disappears from motel and everything is still there.” What’s weird about this one is the searcher’s insistence on clarifying that “everything is still there,” to distinguish it, I guess, from a movie where a girl disappears from a motel and everything else in existence does, too.

Time for our weekly disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will definitely not be getting to all of these (though we will pick out a few, as you’ll see this week), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Mishima: Life in Four Chapters (next week!); Werckmeister Harmonies (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 23 more titles to Certify Weird!

Next week, Alfred Eaker continues your cinematic education with the third part of his series on ‘s Gothic serials with Fantômas (1913). Then, Giles Edwards delivers his eulogy on the just-concluded , with another slice of mini-reviews and coverage of the Fest’s big closer, -fueled revenger Mandy. And Pete Trbovich wraps us up with one from the reader-suggested review queue: Terry Gilliam‘s time-traveling brain twister Twelve Monkeys.

As far as weird search terms go, we’re once again frustrated by privacy filters. Basically, we saw no—none, nada—Google (or other engine) searches this week that would merit consideration as Weirdest Search Term of the Week. The closest we could come up with was “coco shop under the bed at end of shop is a large secret room thats driving me crazy what is in there?” That one’s more badly phrased than weird—we have no idea what the questioner is asking about. We guess is it’s a video game for which they neglected to share the title, assuming Google is omniscient and would know what the hell they are talking about. It’s a good reminder never to assume that everyone’s frame of reference is the same as yours; but, sadly, not that weird of a search term. Well, on to next week, when we hope stranger spirits will move our searchers.

Time for our weekly disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will probably not be getting to many of these (though we will pick out a few, as you’ll see this week), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-once-again-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: 12 Monkeys (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 24 more movies to Certify Weird, and that’s not counting the one that will be unofficially named at midnight EST tonight when the final reader’s choice poll closes. (Right now, it looks like it will be ‘s psychedelic anime Mind Game, with ‘s perverse Singapore Sling in long-shot striking distance.)

As far as next week’s business goes, Alfred Eaker starts us off, as always, with the next installment of his series on ‘s trilogy of strange silent serials (will it be Judex or Fantomas? You’ll have to check in to find out.) Then it’s back to Giles Edwards‘ coverage of the final week of : look for writeups of the animated oddity Violence Voyager, an interview with Drew Barnhardt of the PSTD-themed indie Rondo, along with his third slice of mini-capsules of everything else. Finally, G. Smalley caps things off with a selection from the reader-suggested review queue: the surreal 2004 Japanese family dramedy The Taste of Tea. No summer vacations for chroniclers of the weird, it seems.

Despite the privacy filters blocking about 95% of all search queries used to locate the site from our prying eyes, we still saw some remarkably weird ones this week. What wondrously strange queries would we uncover if we could see them all? We can at least be thankful that we were able to espy “movie where frogs go under a car off a cliff,” which is a pretty odd conceit. Stranger still, however, was the slightly ominous “weird movie prime leather mouth spreader prison feeding” (why is “prime leather” important to the searcher? Best not to wonder.) Still, for surreal Googling, nothing we saw compared to this week’s official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, “full sin’s hops by woman’s 1 child another man full story movie.” “Full Sin’s Hops” sounds like a great name for an IPA, doesn’t it?

Time for our weekly disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below: since we will probably not be getting to many of these (though we will pick out a few, as you’ll see this week), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: The Taste of Tea (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

With only 25 movies left to Certify Weird, we’re entering the final stretch. Please stay tuned for your final chance to directly effect the shape of the List, following very soon after this post.

It’s another busy week here at 366 (though perhaps not as busy as last week). Alfred Eaker starts us off with a look at Louis Feuillade’s seminal 1915 silent serial Les Vampires. Giles Edwards takes us into the present day with his continuing coverage of , including reviews of Aaron Schimberg’s Freaks update Chained for Life, David Robert Mitchell‘s weirdo noir Under the Silver Lake, a full slate of mini-reviews, a couple of interviews, and who knows? Maybe even more. Finally, G. Smalley takes a second look at Neil Jordan‘s shcizophrenic child-murderer comedy The Butcher Boy (remember that one?) And, don’t forget to vote every day in the upcoming Final Reader’s Choice poll—we expect to see those traffic numbers up, up, up!

Once again, we don’t have very many queries to share with you for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest. (Privacy settings, yada yada…) There was “cartoon where boy is sleeping in car going through flowers movie,” which sounds kind of cool, but is it really weird? Fortunately, we did find one phrase meriting the title “Weirdest Search Term of the Week”: “mobile · … early 1990’s or late 80’s. it was a cartoon. the movie began with … 80’s, it’s a cartoon where there was a young boy that was … world through mirror …” The advanced use of random ellipses turns what might have been a perfectly normal search for a 1980s animated film into a legitimately bizarre mess!

The suggestions page is temporarily shut down while we focus on the final reader-suggested contest. And now, it’s tme for our weekly disclaimer regarding the reader-suggested review queue below. Since we will probably not be getting to many of these (though we will pick out a few), you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long and temporarily-paused reader-suggested review queue now stands: Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 26 more movies to Certify Weird…

It’s a busy summer week here at 366. First off, our final reader-selected contest is on, your last chance to directly vote a film onto the List of 366 (and possibly win a prize!) Nominations are open here until Friday.

Alfred Eaker has a couple more pre-code films on tap in Safe in Hell (1931) and Murder at the Vanities (1934). Giles Edwards is busy catching two films a day at the Fantasia Festival, and plans to drop off a number of things—both a page of mini-capsules and some full length reviews. We’re keeping the titles secret for now, but he’s already found a couple of surprises. And amidst all the hubbub we’re also going to try to find time to post a review of Kino’s recent video release of ‘s chaotic and epic ode to vanished Yugoslavia, Underground, and maybe even a report on the now-in-theaters hit (be weird movie standards) Sorry to Bother You. Check in daily!

Bucking recent trends, we actually had a few genuinely weird search terms to highlight this week. First up, we think it goes without saying that this entry has to be some kind of error: “[[[“xjs.sav.id.a3p-uiv9jxk.o”,5]],[[“id”,”type”,”created_timestamp”,”last_modified_timestamp”,”signed_redirect_url”,”dominant_color_rgb”,”tag_info”,”url”,”title”,”comment”,”snippet”,”image”,”thumbnail”,”num_ratings”,”avg_rating”,”page”,”job”]],[[“dt_fav_images”]],10000].” Back on planet earth, so to speak, was the search for “alien in woman’stomach and blew up by drinking water movie.” But for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week (and given the way things have been going, likely of the Month) we’ll pick “scary movie where girl throws up on guy but ge imagines colora.” Even fixing the misspellings results in a search for a scary movie where a girl throws up on a guy, but he imagines colors—and if that’s not a weird term to search for, we’re not sure what would qualify.

The suggestions page is temporarily shut down while we focus on the final reader-suggested contest, but it nevertheless continued to grow. Usual disclaimer: we will probably not be getting to all of these (though we will pick out a few), and you can consider this a list of “honorable mentions” for your own perusal and amusement. That out of the way, here’s how the ridiculously-long and temporarily-paused reader-suggested review queue now stands: Underground (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE