Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Here’s what’s on our plates next week: continuing our 2016 leftovers, El Rob Hubbard looks at 1966’s campy comic-book/spy thriller Modesty Blaise (Blu-rayed in 2016), while G. Smalley brings you your official first look at ‘s blasphemous satire The Brand New Testament (which placed 9th on our Weirdest Movies of 2016 list). And we’ll finally get back to that long neglected reader-suggested review queue with our second take on Poland’s epic 1965 fantasia The Saragossa Manuscript. Alfred Eaker keeps us in the Sixties as he continues his year-by-year survey of exploitation and horror films with 1966’s shameful trilogy of Rasputin, the Mad Monk, The Reptile, and Plague of the Zombies. It’s a swinging start to 2017!

Speaking of the new year, we already have people searching Google for “top most weirdest searches of 2017,” and coming here to check out our list of Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. It is a promising start to the year, beginning with the guy looking for “www.pushy muviyes.com.” We wonder if  “movies similar to a clockwork orange, threatened to shoot eating a big mac” would count—threatening someone with a gun while eating a hamburger does seem kind of pushy. Or maybe he was looking for something more along the lines of  “movie with the girl who climbs out of a vagina for her birthday”? “Why there is a movie called begottem” seems like kind of a pushy question, but it’s not really in the pushy muviy spirit.  “What the movie called with the guy made of plants that falls in love with a women” isn’t pushy at all, but it is weird. Our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week starts out strange and gets stranger as it goes along: “x*** video driver affair wife and husband p*** video full movie servant affair acid has been com” (asterisks in original). We wonder if that query was posted by an actual acid has-been?

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands (note: we moved The Drifting Classroom into the “not available” holding pen this week): The Saragossa Manuscript (next week!); Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

2017 is finally here, which means it’s time for us to start officially wrapping up the year that was, starting with our official 10 Weirdest Movies of 2016 on Monday (we’ll also toss out our top 10 mainstream movies just for comparison’s sake). In the next few weeks we’ll be picking at leftovers from the year past, starting with Pete Trbovich‘s review of 1991’s would-be cult comedy Highway to Hell (which got a Blu-ray release in 2016). We’ll also circle back even further for a second look at 1971’s bizarre obscene-phone-caller experimental sex-comedy The Telephone Book, while Alfred Eaker resumes his chronological “exploitation triple feature” series, picking back up at 1965, the year that brought us Die Monster Die, Monster a Go-Go and Incubus. We’ve got big things coming from 366 Weird Movies in 2017… not next week, especially, but stick with us…

We ended 2016 on a weak note in terms of weird search terms that brought visitors to our site. We did see a worm mini-theme with  “film where a boy gets a worm stuffed up his nose” and “worm in vagina hollywood movies” (we can assure the second searcher, this is not a genre Hollywood has exploited). The slate was so thin that we’re even going to mention “uncle b weird movie” before we settle on the oddly-phrased and disturbing “alien,creature (rape,bird,preggo) woman-full movies” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Message to you maladjusted Googlers out there: let’s pick up these weird searches in 2017, shall we?

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

With the year’s end fast approaching, next week we focus on new movies, with Shane Wilson tackling the minimalist indie horror Darling, while G. Smalley brings you reviews of the quirky Australian indie Girl Asleep and (finally) an official review of the astoundingly tasteless The Greasy Strangler (previewed here). Alfred Eaker, of course, breaks form to continue his survey of the career of Italian horror pioneer (you can read part one of the retrospective here).

Now is the time at 366 Weird Movies where we run down the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site this week. We’ll start with the long-ish “this other time, i saw a commercial for this movie about a man who was accused of murder, but he didn’t commit the murder. a guy from m*a*s*h was the star of the movie. that’s probably why i remember it. the commercial said that the whole movie was about him trying to prove that he was innocent and how he could go to jail anyway. that scared me a lot. it scared me how much it scared me. being punished for something you did not do. or being an innocent victim. it’s just something that i never want to experience. i don’t know if it is important to tell you all this, but at the time, it felt like a ‘breakthrough.’” We don’t know why the searcher wanted to tell Google this either, but suggest he or she might want to get some real people in their lives to talk to. In a week that was somewhat light in strange searches, we did see a mini-theme of bad fathers, starting with “boob suck in cage by her father in hollywood movie clips” (we can tell the searcher that this is not a common motif in Hollywood films). And we return to this paternal theme for our official selection for Weirdest Search Term of the Week: “movie where dad puts his kid in the oven and drinks rotten milk.” This query would have been more appropriate for the Fathers Day season rather than Christmas, but we’ll take what we can get.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

First, a heads up: look for a new free DVD contest announcement later tonight/tomorrow morning. It’s your chance to score a strange and random stocking-stuffer at the last moment.

We continue our countdown to 2017 as we catch up on 2016’s releases, which weirdly includes mostly films made prior to 1963. We will bring one release from this year for you when Shane Wilson covers the hipster draman Birds of Neptune. Then G. Smalley jumps way back in time to look at the Blu-ray release of Marcel L’Herbier’s overlooked avant-garde silent classic L’Inhumaine, while Giles Edwards brings us the site’s first look at ‘s 1963 Surrealist satire The Exterminating Angel (it was scheduled for earlier, but Giles found himself inexplicably unable to stop writing the review for weeks on end). Alfred Eaker continues the look backwards as he embarks on part one of a two-part retrospective on Italian horror icon . Stay tuned…

…for our rundown of the very weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site this week. We’ll start with the inexplicable “czechoslovakia-made incest-made hereford” (Hereford is a city in England and a breed of cattle; the connection to Czechoslovakia and incest is as mysterious as the repeated use of the “-made” suffix). As weird as that one was, we thought the search for “big worm only eating for humman brain and then army to destroy the animal is hollywood movie” was even stranger. But neither top our Weirdest Search Term of the Week, “movies last seen girl jesus looked blood drink and spit the dracula head and dracula end movies.” As far as we can make out, the searcher is looking for a movie where Jesus (or maybe a girl Jesus) spits out Dracula’s head? Weird.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands. Note: we’re moving the Japanese version of Jack and the Beanstalk into the “Currently Unavailable” holding pen. The rest of the list follows: The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

As we approach the end of 2016, we try to play catch-up on all the year’s video releases, as we do every year. That doesn’t mean we’ll only 2016 movies, however, as this week proves. Shane Wilson starts us off with a look at the wacky 1965 yakuza comedy Murder Unincorporated (the weirdest choice on Arrow Videos 2016 “Nikkatsu Diamond Guys Vol. 2” set). G. Smalley kills two birds with one stone (technically four birds with two stones) as he knocks out both new releases and reader-suggestions with a look at the DVDs for 1982’s Neil Young-directed absurdity Human Highway and the Criterion Collection release of Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams (1990). Alfred Eaker, meanwhile, does his own thing as he continues his exploitation film series with a look at 1964, the year that brought us 2000 Maniacs, The Creeping Terror, Straight-Jacket, and of course the immortal The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. Check out 366 all week in between trips to the mall (or to amazon.com).

It’s time once again for the beloved feature where we survey the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site this week: a feature that, as always, we are calling “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” We start with the remarkably simple but still incomprehensible search for “head 22.” Our next highlight, “80s porn guy with necklace fell in girl,” is easier to understand, but perhaps even harder to imagine. And we’d also kind of like to know the answer to “whose the bad actor who, rode a bike, and laughed stpidly, & pervert.” But our official choice for Weirdest Search Term of the Week blows them all away with its oddity: “older films that woman is forced by men dressed as ancient romans the hats sex is a big cow horn.” I was almost with them until they claimed sex is a big cow horn… it’s not, it’s really not.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Human Highway (next week!); Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams (next week!); Jack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); The Saragossa Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Thanksgiving is over, and so we’re no longer thankful—instead, we’re getting down to the nitty-gritty as the year nears its end. Next week, Ryan Aarset has a Delusion (a low budget thriller from 2016) and G. Smalley has Gas-s-s-s (the 1970 counterculture comedy about a gas that wipes out everyone over the age of 25). G. will also quietly return to the asylum to reconsider The Ninth Configuration. Meanwhile, Alfred Eaker returns to his irregularly scheduled exploitation triple feature series, masochistically looking at the year 1963 (which brought us The Sadist, Blood Feast, and The Body and the Whip). It hurts so good!

It’s a slight week for weird search terms that brought visitors to the site, but as always we’ll bring you a survey of what we saw. First off, this is probably a description of a scene in real movie (probably a Japanese one), so it can’t be considered as one of the very weirdest of all searches, but in a slow week we couldn’t resist bringing “movie where guy takes looks of.blue pills and beats people with the erection” to your attention. The search for “69 whererites” is stranger (“69” we get, but what about “where rites”? Are there rites of 69 we haven’t been informed of?) We’ll accept the confused “a woman upskirt show aman his bodie” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, though you guys out there in Googleland will need to play it weirder next week. If you don’t, we may have to show you your bodie.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Jack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Last week we quietly rolled out our Twitter presence—after getting our feet wet and learning our #’s from our @’s, we’re ready to officially announce ourselves to the Twittersphere. Follow us at https://twitter.com/366weirdmovies (that’s @366weirdmovies, logically).

Next week, Pete Trbovich is thankful for the opportunity to review the microbudget sci-fi spoof First Man on Mars (if not for the movie itself); G. Smalley is thankful for elliptical Taiwanese arthouse dramas like Kaili Blues; 366 Weird Movies is thankful for its readers pitching in on a holiday, as we’ll publish another Reader Recommendation, and we’re also thankful for The Plutonian‘s Scott Dwyer helping out with his list of his ten favorite weird movies; and Alfred Eaker, naturally, is thankful for Christian anti-drug movies about pot laced with experimental drugs that turn motorcycle delinquents into turkey-headed killing machines. Aren’t we all?

Other things we’re thankful for include the scores of entertainingly odd search terms that bring visitors to our site each week, items we collect and publish for you in a feature we call Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. It was a very full week, so we’ll just jump right into our survey with “watcheth the mother from under full movi,” a search we like to imagine was made by a time-traveling 19th century English fop drunk on laudanum. Next up is the disturbing yet absurd “3women raping an attached boy”—just how does the geometry work on that? And what red-blooded male or randy lesbian wouldn’t like to find a “list of tv series with more vagina nudity than lifebon top”? For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with “top worrier in hollywood solder emipairs witch.” Even guessing at the spelling errors and changing it to “top warrior in Hollywood soldier empowers witch” yields no clue as to what strangeness that searcher was seeking.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands. [Note: we’re moving The Last Days of Planet Earth to the holding pen (see bottom of this post) because of lack of current availability (VHS release only, now collector’s items)]. Jack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Grendel Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Here’s what we got for you next week: Giles Edwards watches eat a sea monster heart in the modern dark fairytale Tale of Tales, G. Smalley leers at lovely Ewa Aulin as she’s pawed by Marlon Brando and other slumming stars in Candy, Alex Kittle expands on her thoughts about farting corpses in Swiss Army Man, and Alfred Eaker hits the bookshelf for a literary review of Phil Hall’s recent tome “In Search of Lost Films.” Get thankful early as we bring you another weekly cinematic feast!

Now is the time when we look at the weirdest search terms that brought people to the site this week, a feature we quite sensibly call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” It was indeed a strange seven days, as Googlers out there came here looking for both “weliwd movies” and examples of the “strngee.ssuraal.” Those two searchers were probably happier with their results than was the gentleman who mistakenly visited us looking for “israel classic boobs films.” We don’t feature any classic Israeli boob films here, though we certainly have nothing against them! And although we did see this movie, we don’t remember the scene this guy was looking for in quite the same way: “in silence of the lambs the red dragon was dancing to an old 60 psychedelic tongue in the mirror.” With all that, we think the very Weirdest Search Term of the Week was the impressively detailed “whose are hollywood movie which fearness minded scientist mechanical engineering research sex for long time but sex is very long and movie are also long and movie is type of in made forest.” Whose are, indeed!

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Candy (next week!); The Last Days of Planet EarthJack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); The Saragossa Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

It’s Halloween week, so we’ll dig into that bag of reader-suggested reviews for a couple of cinematic treats (and tricks?). First off, in the spirit of the All Hallow’s Eve we’ll take a gander at 1985’s influential zombie-fest Return of the Living Dead, which just came out in a massive special edition Blu-ray this year. Next up is a horror of a very different kind as Shane Wilson tackles 1967’s provocative Titicut Follies, set in a Massachusetts “hospital” for the criminally insane, one of he most depressing documentaries on man’s inhumanity to man ever put on film. We’ll lighten the mood with a reappraisal of Rubin & Ed, arguably weirdo ‘s finest moment, before Alfred Eaker returns to the dark side finish off his “Boris Karloff’s Thriller” series. It’s another bipolar week in store here at 366 Weird Movies!

Oddly, our search traffic was up this week, but the weirdness quotient of said visitors was down, making it a tough to pick a winner in our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest. We don’t know what this says about our readership, but we note an unhealthy misogynistic streak in the oddball traffic, with people (OK, men) looking for “execution women artnetwork movies” and “naked women dead in the pool movies.” By those standards, “horror old movie in which a girl dance with cutted head & a boy sees her” is a normal, healthy thing to search for. We had to delete our first choice for this week’s winner because following the Google query led to some very disturbing internet neighborhoods we would prefer not to promote, so instead we’re granting the weirdly conversational “i’m in the movie man not a cop and got the cult gates please come home” official Weirdest Search Term of the Week status. We’ll take our lumps and hope for better (and weirder) next week.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Titicut Follies (next week!); Return of the Living Dead (next week!); Candy; The Last Days of Planet EarthJack and the Beanstalk Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

You have until midnight tonight to join in 366’s virtual costume party for a chance to win a two-DVD prize package. So far the party’s got Merde, Alex de Large, the actual Wicker Man (with Edward Woodward inside) and more weirdos milling about. Pick a Certified Weird costume and join us, won’t you? Your chances of winning the prize currently stand at just under 10%.

After you’re done with that, you can consider next week’s slate of reviews, starting with new writer Pete Trbovich considering ‘s finest drag performance, 1989’s Sonny Boy; G. Smalley wondering if he could review ‘s latest adventure in dreamy narcolepsy, Cemetery of Splendor, in his sleep; Giles Edwards facing another of ‘s existential identity crisis movies in 1966’s The Face of Another; and fourth installment of his October series on “Boris Karloff’s Thriller” as Halloween closes in.

We’re way past the fourth installment in our long-running “Weirdest Search Term of the Week” contest—more like the four-hundredth installment, with no sign of stopping until Google get embarrassed by all this drastic weirdness and starts masking every single search request. Until then, we’ll keep wondering in amazement at searches like “the boy, nude cleaning octopus movie” or the curious (perhaps related?) “high mood beastiality.” Then there are the incomprehensible, yet disturbing, searches, like “fish cuck men com.” This week, a combination of unfocused perverted ideas, senseless repetition, and terrible spelling wins the prize for Weirdest Search Term of the Week, which we award to the bizarre “idian brest fidding big boobes gore gore.” ‘Nuff said—although we don’t really know exactly what was said?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: The Face of Another (next week!); Candy; The Last Days of Planet EarthJack and the Beanstalk (1974, Japan); The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE