Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

As December comes, we’ll be focusing on covering 2017’s new releases. Of course Alfred Eaker will be going his own weird way, choosing instead to reports on two “jaw-dropping” late 60s trifles. Also, “new” releases don’t always mean “2017” movies, as we’ll review a couple of Blu-rays fresh from the Land of the Rising Sun: ‘s cybernetic 2004 sequel Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence and Funeral Parade of Roses, the 1969 psychedelic experiment starring real drag queens in a melodrama of betrayed love, shocking violence, and pot-fueled orgies. In fact, the only movie we’ll mention next week that technically bears a 2017 label is ‘s metaphysical mystery Slack Bay, courtesy of the on-point Shane Wilson. Expect a similarly eclectic schedule throughout the month, with a holiday-themed surprise or two.

We always find surprises in our stats, which is why every week we bring you our list of the Weirdest Search Terms used to locate the site. We’ll start with the insistent “horror explicit hard core porn xxx xxx xxx xxx.” Triple-X flicks just aren’t hardcore enough for this jaded fellow, who needs dodecal-X rated porn just to get a rise these days. Maybe he would like some “asian skul garl fadar affair porn movies”? But enough of perverts with poor grammar; our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week was “movie where guy steals a girl to marry her jesus.” Props for making us wonder—why does the girl have her own personal Jesus? And why didn’t the guy just steal Jesus directly?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-still-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Funeral Parade of Roses (next week!); One Eyed Monster; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

What we’re thankful for next week: Alfred Eaker is thankful for the mirrored climax of The Lady from Shanghai; Giles Edwards is thankful he’s not a character in ‘s rape-centered morality play The Baby of Mâcon; G. Smalley is thankful for the nearly incomprehensible plot (and title) of the subirban teen satire The Chumscrubber; and Pete Trbovich is thankful for a second chance to listen to The Abominable Dr. Phibes‘ Clockwork Orchestra.

Normally, we’d be thankful for all the strange searches that we see in our weekly quest to find the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week, but we have to admit we’re a bit offended by registering a hit for “disgusting movie list the holy mountain” (neither the List nor Mountain are “disgusting,” fella). We are thankful, we suppose, to still be registering hits for our old friend “friends boring strangers” after all these years (and we’re not the only ones…) Although this week was light in terms of genuinely bizarre searches, we’re still thankful that we can name “www.lola boy an girl iwank.com” as our Weirdest Search Term of the Week. (That domain is still unregistered, by the way).

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-still-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Baby of Macon (next week!); The Chumscrubber (next week!); One Eyed Monster; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); The Annunciation (1984); Funeral Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week begins with Alfred Eaker bringing the downbeat, underssen BBC biopic Love is the Devil: Study for a Portrait of Francis Bacon to your attention. Pete Trbovich then dives into the reader-suggested review queue for a look at a lighter, dumber offering: Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies. Finally, G. Smalley finishes off the week coverage of Kiki’s Delivery Service (for completists) and our first look at ‘ highly-anticipated The Killing of a Sacred Deer (now in select theaters). That should keep you occupied, as we prepare the holidays and the year-end critics’ crunch…

Now it’s time for our weekly survey of weird search terms that brought visitors to the site, a feature we quite logically call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” First up is the request for “the movie where its narrated by a cat who is a person who lives with awoman with afringe”—sorry, no clue on that one. Next we noted “drawing palace bestiality” (yuck, probably) and “russian teens low bird” (???). For our official choice for Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with the Shakespearean voyeurism of “watcheth the mother from the under table.” It’s sort of sounds like an episode of “if 17th century Puritans had Google…”

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-still-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (next week!); One Eyed Monster; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); The Annunciation (1984); Funeral Parade of Roses; Bad Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week starts with Alfred Eaker on the Blade Runner series, discussing both s 1982 cult original and Certified Weird director s atmospheric 2017 sequel, Blade Runner 2049. Next up, we dive into the reader-suggested review queue  as Simon Hyslop looks at the 1988 fever-fantasy Paperhouse and G. Smalley tackles the arthouse doppelganger drama The Double Life of Veronique. We’ll end the week’s reviews with a look at the new Love Witch disc.

Ah, the weird searches that bring people to the site! They are so odd that we collect the weirdest for you each week and feature them in this column, which we refer to as “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” Sometimes, they are short and obvious, but still strange: e.g., “mutated vagina.” Sometimes they are short, and obscure: “old man 2102” (what information could the searcher possibly be looking for?) And oftentimes, they only appear weird because of punctuation/spelling/grammar, a prime example being “race horse porn film or rock band”: it makes us think the searcher is looking for pages describing either an adult film featuring racehorses, or something about any rock band, and isn’t particular which set of results come up.  For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with the incomprehensible “college girl inherts a madison from lady gravage movie.” We could have overlooked the madison/mansion typo, but who in the world is Lady Gravage?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-still-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Paperhouse (next week!); The Double Life of Veronique (next week!); One Eyed Monster; Save the Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

We’re gonna make it kind of spooky next week as Halloween dawns, starting with Alfred Eaker‘s take on the Puritan horror of The Witch (plus maybe a bonus film). G. Smalley chips in with reviews of Dario Argento‘s psychic insect horror Phenomena (1985), then breaks the tension with ‘s 2007 quirkfest The Darjeeling Limited. Alex Kittle brings us back on point with a look at the Criterion Collection’s release of the mermaid horror-musical The Lure. Be sure to take all your meds before reading these pages next week, things will get weird.

Things were weird last week, too—heck, things are weird here every week. To prove it, we bring you a weekly survey of Weirdest Search Terms that brought visitors to the site. This week we noticed “barazil sax dabal move donlowd.” The guy probably meant to search for “Brazil sex devil movies,” which is only a little less weird than the nonsense he actually ended up typing. More coherent, but no less weird, was the search for “alien movie spits mother head.” For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week we selected “wife anotherman sex not husband canvas sex videos.” We like the fact that the searcher decided “wife anotherman sex” might not be clear enough so he added “not husband” for clarification, then gave it an additional wrapping of weirdness by further specifying he wanted “canvas sex” (?) videos.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Darjeeling Limited (next week!); One Eyed Monster; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); The Annunciation (1984); Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, Alfred Eaker will bring you something Halloween-y and as yet undetermined. In other mildly-appropriate to the season news, Giles Edwards looks at the experimental documentary Mansfield 66/67 (about blonde bombshell Jayne Mansfield’s flirtation with Anton La Vey’s Church of Satan). Then it’s on to two arthouse classics, as G. Smalley tackles Wim Wenders’ angels-on-Earth experiment Wings of Desire (from the reader-suggested queue) and busy Giles returns to enshrine readers’ choice winner Last Year at Marienbad.

Google was uncharacteristically subdued and normal this week, making it hard for us to pick a Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Nonetheless, we’ll share with you the very slightly bizarre searches we did encounter. First up is “1990s man eats people in his room” (sorry, but we did warn you these queries weren’t going to be that weird). We do wonder whether the searcher was able to come up with ten titles for “top ten italian vintage mature womens sex with mens in animal farm house movies” (he should be happy with one result, we think). In a very slim week for the weird, it’s the noun-salad “womans feet sticking out,morgue, sheet,blob, sand, images” that takes the award for Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Acceptable, but the Googlers out there really need to step up their “crazy” game.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Wings of Desire (next week!); Last Year in Marienbad (next week!); One Eyed Monster; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, Alfred Eaker will bring you an early Halloween surprise (treat, not trick, we promise). Then we’ll tackle a couple of new releases with a dive into “Martin Scorsese’s World Cinema Project, Vol. 2” set (featuring ‘ s debut film, the “exquisite corpse” documentary Mysterious Object at Noon, along with a number of rarities). Also up for review: ‘s Tag (not the prolific genre auteur’s latest, but his most recent work you can catch on Netflix). Finally, we’ll begin to honor readers’ demands with a writeup of the recent poll winner Under the Skin (previously candidated by Alex Kittle).

It’s time once more for our survey of the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site last week. First up is a classic example of what’s quickly becoming our favorite misspelled word leading to unintentionally strange queries: “what is name of movie young boy hide under table and see virgina”? On the other hand, “blood in the drinks machine woman in wheelchair eyes cut out with scissors” is a more macabre species of search. For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with “suggest movie name where a girl walking between the big mouth shaped boobs body women.” Our suggestion? A Nympho in the Valley of the Giant Busty Mutant-Mouth Vixens. (Guys can dream, can’t they?)

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue now stands: Tag (next week!); One Eyed Monster; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); The Annunciation (1984); Funeral Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

The Penultimate Readers’ Choice Poll is complete, and the winners you voted to put onto the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies Ever Made are… Last Night at Marienbad (1961) and Under the Skin (2013). These two choices led from wire to wire, with only ‘s It’s Such a Beautiful Day (2012) threatening to crack the top two. We’ll get to writing these two up in October (early November at the latest), and we’ll give you one more chance for input, near the very end of the List…

And as long as we’re discussing interactive activities, you still have until Thursday to enter our Red Christmas Blu-ray giveaway contest. Details here

So, on to next week’s business. First up, Alfred Eaker wraps up his overview of “The Adventures of Superman” (start the adventure here), touching on the mysterious circumstances of ‘ untimely death. Giles Edwards holds down the new release front with a look at ‘s post-apocalyptic sophomore effort, The Bad Batch. And we’ll tackle a couple of suggestions from the reader-suggested review queue, as Pete Trbovich takes in Murder Party and G. Smalley explores WR: Mysteries of the Organism.

Now it’s time for our weekly survey of weird search terms that brought visitors to the site this week, a feature we unweirdly call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” Our first entry actually makes sense, but the wording makes it read strangely: “korean movies chain the temptation of two women.” (They do?) This search also turns out to be a thing: “swedish pimple” (it sure would be weird if they were literally searching for Scandinavian acne, though). Poor word choice once again makes what should probably be a simple search into a fairly bizarre one with “friend named ugly man in jail movie” (it seems unlikely the searcher is really interested in a film about someone named “ugly man” who goes to jail). But our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, “porn video cartoons wemans virginas infested with eel,” wins the award because it works on two (maybe more) weird levels. We’ll take it at face value, and suggest that all women who own Virginia should be wary of the eel infestation issue.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-still-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Murder Party (next week!); W.R.-Mysteries of the Organism (next week!); One Eyed Monster; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave (d. Sam Raimi); The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

First off, you still have about a week to vote in the Penultimate Readers’ Choice Poll to place two movies on the final list of 366. Right now, Last Year at Marienbad and Under the Skin look like fairly safe bets, with ‘s stick-figure animation It’s Such a Beautiful Day the only serious spoiler contender. But a lot can change in these last few days…

Next week’s lineup begins with Alfred Eaker‘s continuing episode guide for “The Adventures of Superman,” now up to seasons three and four. Then, Giles Edwards examines the new Blu-ray of ‘s overlooked 1991 erotic fantasy The Flesh, while G. Smalley handles a couple of items from the reader-suggestion review queue with Bollywood’s (second!) unauthorized Memento remake, Ghajini, and the weird-kid budget horror The Pit (1981). We may throw in a surprise as well… so stay tuned.

Due to the increased use of privacy settings, it’s becoming harder and harder to find items to highlight for our “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week” column. We’re left sifting through stuff like “older sister and younger brother naked in the bathroom. also movie name” (notable only for the searcher asking for the movie’s name as an afterthought), or relying on the occasional typo to transform a sick search into a mildly weird one, e.g. “list movie with theme raoe/kidnaping/homo invasion”. For our Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with the relatively normal (by our standards) query for a list of “vampire nun 1970s sex videos”. Hey, Halloween’s coming soon, it’s not too early for vampire nuns!

Here’s how the ridiculously-long-and-still-growing reader-suggested review queue now stands: Ghajini (2008) (next week!); The Pit (1981) (next week!); One Eyed Monster; Save the Green Planet; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

First up, don’t neglect the chance to help shape the List by voting in the just-released Penultimate Readers’ Choice Poll. Early favorites are Last Year at Marienbad and Under the Skin. With only 66 more titles to elevate, you’ll want to be sure your favorite makes the List. You may vote once per day until October 7.

Next week begins with Alfred Eaker‘s continuing episode guide for “The Adventures of Superman.” Next, Pete Trbovich gets down and dirty with the obscene 1970s animation Down and Dirty Duck. Then, it’s into the reader-suggested queue for a review of Czechoslovakia’s 1978 take on Beauty and the Beast (Panna a Nevtor), and finally we strike out on our own with Fantasy Mission Force, the 1983 kung-fu comedy about a ragtag team of martial misfits (including a then unknown Jackie Chan) rescuing Allied prisoners from a Japanese prison camp in Canada.

It’s time again for our weekly survey of weird search terms that brought visitors to the site, a feature we sensibly call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” First up is a search that’s not quite weird—“movie 70s sci fi people eating themselves unknowingly as new food soul and green”—but comes so close. We were also amused by “name of movie in which girl becomes nude to stop car” and “wierd little alien guy that walks on his hands.” But for a search truly deserving of the title “Weirdest Search Term of the Week,” we have to go with “zoophilia vintage with flies tube.” We suspect that people who are “into” flies are a tiny minority even within the already marginal zoophilia community, but maybe things were different in the vintage era.

Here’s how the ridiculously long reader-suggested review queue now stands, after moving 1 Day and Vermilion Souls to the “out-of-print holding pen”: Down and Dirty Duck (next week!); Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978) (next week!); Gahjini; One Eyed Monster; Save the Green Planet; Crimewave Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE