Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, for reasons that don’t directly concern our readers, head honcho G. Smalley will be away from his desk (and no, sadly he won’t be working on the overdue 2016 Weird Movies Yearbook). Hopefully the only slight hiccup you may notice is comments being slow to be approved, and all of the upcoming content will autopost smoothly. What is that upcoming content, though? Well, Pete Trbovich brings us a look at the rare bug-apocalypse anime Twilight of the Cockroaches (1989); Scott Sentinella gapes at the disco-musical disaster Xanadu (1980); Giles Edwards buys the new 2015 Blu-ray of David Bowie in The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976) as an excuse to cover that one again; and Alfred Eaker marches ahead in his chronological exploitation survey to 1973, the year that brought us Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein, The Satanic Rites of Dracula, and Brian De Palma‘s Sisters. That should be enough to keep you kids busy until G. gets back from his secret mission.

For reasons hinted at above, today’s trip through the weirdest search terms of the week will have to be rushed. In fact, we’re only going to spotlight two terms this week: the hopefully-misspelled runner-up “sexy black putty movie.com” and this week’s truly deserving winner of the weirdest search term of the week, “and i cannot feel the palace where his car is in the a** nailed it till 1 or little one i am searching everywhere hindi.” That bizarre string of verbiage, complete with unnecessary self-censoring, would have dominated a more competitive week.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Twilight of the Cockroaches (next week!); Grendel Grendel Grendel; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; Beauty Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, Rafael Moreira takes a look at ‘s 1992 update/sequel to Tetsuo: The Iron Man, Tetsuo II: Body Hammer. Can it live up to the weirdness of the original? Also, last week’s DVD/Blu-ray release gives G. Smalley the opportunity for our first official look at The Love Witch (a movie that we already ranked #10 on 2016’s Weirdest Movies, and that also earned the enchanting Samantha Robinson a “Weirdest Actress” nod). And even more erotic (sort of) is El Rob Hubbard‘s review of the legendary 1975 underground horror parody/hardcore sex absurdist comedy Thundercrack! And Alfred Eaker takes a break from his yearly exploitation survey to look at another pair of horror anthologies: 1973’s Tales That Witness Madness and 1987’s From a Whisper to a Scream. We usher in Spring in the usual way: with another slate of crazy under-the-radar movies.

Even in otherwise slack weeks for weird search terms, the porn searchers never let us down, giving us something to survey in our weekly look at the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. We’ll start out with the horndog who impressively managed to misspell every single word in his four-term search: “comade cartun groop sax.” Hot blonde cave women bally stob porn,” starts out promisingly, but quickly goes downhill. Normally, “her odd testes film” would be the strangest search term we saw all week, but this week we have to give the award for Weirdest Search Term of the Week to “bırovniyan movement incest.” It superficially looks like “Brownian movement incest,” which wouldn’t make any sense, but what’s even weirder is that “bırovniyan” isn’t a word in any recognized Earth language (and also, “ı” isn’t a letter).

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Thundercrack! (next week!); Grendel Grendel Grendel; Twilight of the Cockroaches; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); Parents; Aqua Teen Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll bring you a look at two new(ish) releases as Shane Wilson covers the latest in the now-sprawling Death Race franchise, Death Race 2050, and G. Smalley peeks at the slightly-surreal coming-out story Closet Monster. We’ll also dig into the reader-suggested review queue for Nuit Noire, an almost indescribable film set in a nocturnal world where the sun only shines for 15 seconds per day. Meanwhile, Alfred Eaker has reached the year of 1972 in his survey of the golden age of the exploitation picture: expect to see Dracula A.D. 1972, Vampire Circus, and The Thing with Two Heads featured.

It wasn’t a prosperous week in terms of weird search terms used to locate the site, which is why we are sharing the simplest amusing spelling errors possible with you: “adult insects movies online” and “banned insect movies” (although if those aren’t misspellings, then they really are some of the weirdest search terms we’ve ever seen). Sticking with examples of hopeless spelling, we’ll bring you “alian woves hooliybood hot sex full movish.” But the official Weirdest Search Term of the Week doesn’t rely on misspelling at all: “threesome with crestfallen manga sluts.” Of all the sexy words in the English language, “crestfallen” may well come in dead last.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands (note: we moved Frank Zappa’s unfinished Uncle Meat to the “currently unavailable” holding pen): Nuit Noire (next week!); Grendel Grendel Grendel; Twilight of the Cockroaches; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

With the 2016 Weirdcademy Awards completed and the 2017 movie season not yet in full swing, we have some free time to dig into that reader-suggested review queue. To that end, look for Simon Hyslop to give you the low-down on Rodrigoi Blass’ short fantasy Alma (2009), El Rob Hubbard to try out the bad acid trip horror Blue Sunshine (1977), and G. Smalley to give a second (and final) opinion on ‘s dry comedy The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeousie (1972). Also, Alfred Eaker will explore the year in exploitation film circa 1971 with a triple feature of Tombs of the Blind Dead, Werewolves on Wheels, and Willard. That should hold you guys over for a week, while we devote our rare bits of spare time to finalizing the print version of the 2016 Weird Movies Yearbook.

It’s time once again for our survey of the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site this week, a feature we descriptively call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” All of this week’s contestants revolve around mangled movie memories, so let’s get right to them. First off is “movie where a guy bands his head and says dummy!” (OK) and “movie with girl eyeball falling out of head and then gets hit by ay train” (ouch!) In the next strata of weirdness is “2011 movies in which female actor wears a vagina face mask,” which we appreciate because the searcher seems to think there was more than one movie released in 2011 where an actress wore a vagina face mask. Even stranger is the rambling request for “alien beautiful girl meet cowboy and love with her get knowledge of how to drive car and horse ridings only by touching also a animal with her running like tyre movie english name.” There’s such a thing as too much detail in a Google search, dear. Our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, however, is “dr’s was seman transfer in buffalo 3d videos,” which is completely bizarre in at least three different ways (can you find them all)?

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: “Alma” (next week!); Blue Sunshine (next week!); The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (next week!); Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Grendel Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Coming later today: results of the 2016 Weirdcademy Awards. You have until 1:00 PM EST time to get in your final votes.

Coming next week: our (slightly late) review of A Cure for Wellness. Bottom line: something this weird is not going to stay in theaters for very long, so if you have any interest in seeing a strange, eel-infused Hollywood-financed horror/psychothriller/surrealist hybrid on the big screen, you better make plans to get out there quickly. We’ll also look back at older movies, as Scott Sentinella reflects on Apocalypse Now Redux and Giles Edwards spends time in ‘s City of Women (both of those titles come from out of the reader-suggested review queue). And of course, Alfred Eaker will finish off his miniseries on Amicus horror anthologies with a look at the last three entries in that cycle.

We’re in a bit of a hurry to get to counting those Weirdcademy ballots, so we’re going to rush through the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week (we did not see much that was spectacularly strange this week, anyway).  Also-ran “howard the doc” amused us for some reason, but it’s not that weird of a search. Runners-up this week include “film with a man and a woman with a moustache fight mutated pigs” and “movie where everyone in a room qith laswers.” From a weak field we’ll take the torturously-phrased “give the names and penis lenth of male porn stars in alphabetical way” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Do better next week, weirdos!

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Apocalypse Now (Redux version) (next week!); City of Women (next week!); Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Grendel Grendel Grendel; Twilight Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

First up, the deadlines: tomorrow is your last day to enter our latest free DVD giveaway. You also have exactly one week left to vote for the Weirdest Picture, Actor, Actress, and Scene in the 2016 Weirdcademy Awards (also, Weirdest Short, which is the only runaway race at the moment).

Next week, “GoregirlTerri McSorley checks in with a review of ‘s Eurosleazy mindbender Night Has a Thousand Desires, while G. Smalley takes a second look at ‘ Polish Surrealist epic, The Hourglass Sanatorium (‘s original review is here). Alfred Eaker takes a break from his chronological survey of exploitation films to bring us the first part of a two-part series on Amicus horror anthologies of the Sixties and Seventies. We’ll also have an unusual roundtable feature about 366 problem child : five different writers each give their mini-take on a Burton film that should make the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies. Reader input is highly encouraged as we struggle with what we’re dubbing “the Burton Conundrum.”

Speaking of conundrums, it’s time once again for our survey of the Weirdest Search Terms that brought visitors to the site. We saw someone looking for “what would a movie weirdo,” which, while being an incomplete sentence, somehow describes this whole feature (i.e., “what would a movie weirdo” type into a search engine?)  Apparently, a lot of them type “www sax com 2012”—which makes no sense, yet brought three different people to 366 Weird Movies this week (it helps that we rank 10th on Google for that search term). While a surprising number people search for sax on the Internet, others eagerly search for sex. When you have, um, unique fetishes and only a passing familiarity with the English language, you often end up on 366 Weird Movies rather than the porn site you seek, as did the guys searching for “sex malf turkey teenagers girls x master” and “black nude comedy movie about girl with hairy laps before sex.”  We also have to give a special mention to “egg sex pasta porn movie,” which apparently is what comes out when you hit up Google while you’re simultaneously hungry and horny. We’ll go in a completely different direction for our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, however, and select “hollywood movie in which 1 chip made for free internet and 1 woman with fake legs.” A movie revolving around free Internet and fake legs (exactly 1 of each)? Count us in!

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Grendel Grendel Grendel; Twilight of the Cockroaches; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie; Beauty and Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

The first votes from the 2016 edition of the Weirdcademy Awards are in. The Lobster is the early favorite in the Weirdest Movie race, although Swiss Army Man is coming up fast from behind. ‘s corpse-like performance (for once, that’s a compliment) easily leads the Weirdest Actor category, as his performance as a jet ski is even more dominant in the Weirdest Scene contest. The most competitive race is for Weirdest Actress; ‘s Lobster psycho currently leads but the prize is anyone’s to grab. So too with the Weirdest Short category—which always receives the fewest overall votes despite the fact that it’s the only category where everyone can see every nominee. There, it would take only four votes to unseat Adult Swim’s latest 4 A.M. experiment, “This House Has People in It.” The good news is you can vote once per day throughout most of February, meaning there’s plenty of time for things to change.

Next week, we’ll continue dining on 2016 leftovers as Giles Edwards wrestles with and ‘ latest underground experimental feature, The Kingdom of Shadows. Then we’ll return to the long-neglected reader-suggestion queue with a pair of horrific reviews: one of the 1985 expressionistic horror homage Screamplay followed by Bryan Pike‘s take on ‘s 1992 gore-o-rama Dead-Alive [known as Brain Dead outside the U.S.A.]. And Alfred Eaker is up to 1969 (the year that brought us Scream and Scream Again, It’s Alive and Satan’s Sadists) in his exploitation film survey.

Our weekly survey of the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site suggests that there are a lot of weird movies lurking out there that we’ve never even heard of—although most of them seem to be ephemeral porn. Take, for example, “vampiress hypno doctor/nurses suck then dry,” an intriguingly strange mix of hypno-vampires and a medical setting.  There’s also “girl fell own sperm by rubber spanish movie play” (why did the girl have her own sperm in this movie adaptation of a Spanish play?) On a more conventional note, there’s the search for an “animated movie with robot seletons who invade their host’s navel.” For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with “chinese film un which girl is made to sit on horse where metal flower get into her vagina.” Unlike some of the others, we suspect this movie actually exists, but that doesn’t stop it from being weird.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Screamplay (next week)!; Brain Dead [AKA Dead Alive] (next week!); Brain Dead (d. Adam Simon); Uncle Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Here’s what we’ve got for you weirdophiles next week: El Rob Hubbard sweeps up one of the last remnants of 2016 with a look at Kino Lorber’s massive release of Jacques Rivette’s Out 1 (covering both the fourteen-hour serialization and the four-hour theatrical cut), while G. Smalley gives you the scoop on the first genuinely weird movie of 2017, the transgressive pornographic horror We Are the Flesh (which is one Mexican import that Donald Trump is letting into the country). We’ll also return to Centerville for a second look at Frank Zappa’s psychedelic musical comedy 200 Motels, while Alfred Eaker advances his exploitation triple feature series to 1967, the year that brought us Corruption, Quatermass and the Pit, and The Fearless Vampire Killers. If you got the inauguration blues, we got the cure!

And if you’ve got the haven’t-seen-enough-reprinted-weird-search-term blues, our Weirdest Search Term of the Week is riding in to the rescue! How does “chinese movie where a guy punches a vagina” grab you? If that’s not odd enough, then you can puzzle over the search for “hollyud online pronunciation.” There’s also “a movie about a guy who changed into a monster then their friends must go to heaven”—it doesn’t seem like a logical consequence of monsterization, but it is a happy one for the friends. Our official selection for Weirdest Search Term of the Week is “hollywood oldman drawings in ladies boobs sex movie list.” If there’s anything Hollywood producers love, it’s sexy scripts that include topless scenes where the actress has an old man’s drawings inside her breasts. Someday there will be a website collecting 366 examples of this type of movie.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Grendel Grendel; Twilight of the Cockroaches; Indecent Desires; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; The Discreet Charm Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Here’s what’s on our plates next week: continuing our 2016 leftovers, El Rob Hubbard looks at 1966’s campy comic-book/spy thriller Modesty Blaise (Blu-rayed in 2016), while G. Smalley brings you your official first look at ‘s blasphemous satire The Brand New Testament (which placed 9th on our Weirdest Movies of 2016 list). And we’ll finally get back to that long neglected reader-suggested review queue with our second take on Poland’s epic 1965 fantasia The Saragossa Manuscript. Alfred Eaker keeps us in the Sixties as he continues his year-by-year survey of exploitation and horror films with 1966’s shameful trilogy of Rasputin, the Mad Monk, The Reptile, and Plague of the Zombies. It’s a swinging start to 2017!

Speaking of the new year, we already have people searching Google for “top most weirdest searches of 2017,” and coming here to check out our list of Weirdest Search Terms of the Week. It is a promising start to the year, beginning with the guy looking for “www.pushy muviyes.com.” We wonder if  “movies similar to a clockwork orange, threatened to shoot eating a big mac” would count—threatening someone with a gun while eating a hamburger does seem kind of pushy. Or maybe he was looking for something more along the lines of  “movie with the girl who climbs out of a vagina for her birthday”? “Why there is a movie called begottem” seems like kind of a pushy question, but it’s not really in the pushy muviy spirit.  “What the movie called with the guy made of plants that falls in love with a women” isn’t pushy at all, but it is weird. Our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week starts out strange and gets stranger as it goes along: “x*** video driver affair wife and husband p*** video full movie servant affair acid has been com” (asterisks in original). We wonder if that query was posted by an actual acid has-been?

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands (note: we moved The Drifting Classroom into the “not available” holding pen this week): The Saragossa Manuscript (next week!); Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

2017 is finally here, which means it’s time for us to start officially wrapping up the year that was, starting with our official 10 Weirdest Movies of 2016 on Monday (we’ll also toss out our top 10 mainstream movies just for comparison’s sake). In the next few weeks we’ll be picking at leftovers from the year past, starting with Pete Trbovich‘s review of 1991’s would-be cult comedy Highway to Hell (which got a Blu-ray release in 2016). We’ll also circle back even further for a second look at 1971’s bizarre obscene-phone-caller experimental sex-comedy The Telephone Book, while Alfred Eaker resumes his chronological “exploitation triple feature” series, picking back up at 1965, the year that brought us Die Monster Die, Monster a Go-Go and Incubus. We’ve got big things coming from 366 Weird Movies in 2017… not next week, especially, but stick with us…

We ended 2016 on a weak note in terms of weird search terms that brought visitors to our site. We did see a worm mini-theme with  “film where a boy gets a worm stuffed up his nose” and “worm in vagina hollywood movies” (we can assure the second searcher, this is not a genre Hollywood has exploited). The slate was so thin that we’re even going to mention “uncle b weird movie” before we settle on the oddly-phrased and disturbing “alien,creature (rape,bird,preggo) woman-full movies” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Message to you maladjusted Googlers out there: let’s pick up these weird searches in 2017, shall we?

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: The Saragossa Manuscript; The Drifting Classroom; Brain Dead; Uncle Meat; Nuit Noire; Screamplay; Grendel Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE