Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 73 more titles left to Certify Weird!

Next week we’ll give our Blu-ray players a rest and head out to the theaters for some summer flicks. Alfred Eaker kicks things off by fulfilling his 2017 Summer Blockbuster obligation with coverage of Dunkirk. What a trooper! Then, Shane Wilson tackles the movie readers probably should have sent Alfred to see— ‘s eye-candy sic-fi opus, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. G. Smalley resists the blockbuster trend with a trip to see Casey Affleck’s ghost-in-a-sheet indie A Ghost Story; and by that time, the Blu-ray player should be well-rested enough to handle Titus, ‘s psychedelic adaptation of William ‘s most cannibal-friendly play. Plus, Giles Edwards will be pitching in throughout the week with his coverage, including his find-of-the-fest (so far) and an interview with its makers. We’ll keep you up to date!

The combination of low seasonal traffic (summer always means decrease of readers) and ever-increasing use of privacy filters makes our logs a little bit thin this week as we search for the Weirdest Search Terms of the Week, but as always, we’ll bring you a peek at what we found. This week’s results are mostly strangely-phrased queries about movies that probably really exist (and which we’d probably want to check out): “flying killer hand that turns people to stone,” “alien movie with mud in the living room,” and “animated movie about pigs boiling other people for tea.” And what about the official Weirdest Search Term of all? We’ll go with “that’s pretty much all i remember,” which is a strange search because it’s pretty much guaranteed to bring up zero useful results about whatever it is the searcher is trying to remember!

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; Vermilion Souls (depending on availability); No Smoking (2007); Gahjini; One Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 77 more titles left to Certify Weird!

It’s a long Independence Day weekend here in the USA (USA! USA!), and what could be more American than the drive-in, which is where Alfred Eaker will be (in spirit) on Monday for a 1944 drive-in double feature (featuring that great naturalized American, !) The only thing more quintessentially Americany than that would be a 1970s proto-slasher film about teenagers whose car breaks down in a rural area where they are tormented by the local weirdo, as Pete Trbovich relates in his review of Tourist Trap. But by July 5 we’re done with all of that Americana crap, as G. Smalley takes us to Japan for ‘s 1966 pop-art yakuza masterpiece Tokyo Drifter, then off to Spain for Skins, Eduardo Casanova’s 2017 debut feature film about the love lives of the deformed (among other grotesque and unpatriotic topics).

Speaking of grotesque topics, it’s time for our weekly survey of weird search terms that brought people to the site. In case you’re new to this feature, these searches usually involve people looking for a “naked movie explanation,” or maybe looking to connect with “rubber lover loving people.” More on-theme for our site is the quest for “love-366 streaming”—we’ve been considering streaming our love, though current technology isn’t quite up to the task. We’ll award a runner-up weird search medal to “brother wear string satan sexy porno videos.com,” which would have been a fairly typical search term around these parts, until they decided to throw string Satan in there for no good reason. For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with “a movie where flying vagina things land on heads”—because we think this movie probably exists (and it’s probably Japanese), and we want to see it, too.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and-ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Tourist Trap (next week!): Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; Black Devil Doll; Vermilion Souls Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

79 more titles to Certify Weird!

Next week, Alfred Eaker takes a break from summer blockbusters to indulge in exploitation nostalgia, as he starts his survey of the 1979 scene with an article featuring Return of the Bionic Boy. Then we’ll look at a couple of recent reissues: Giles Edwards tackles the 1969 Euro-thriller Obsessions (out on Blu-ray for the first time ever) and G. Smalley unpacks Arrow’s recent 3-disc release of Takashi Miike‘s Dead or Alive trilogy. Finally, we’ll knock another one out of the reader-suggested queue with a review of the underground nastiness of 2002’s Reflections of Evil.

On to our weekly review of the weirdest search terms used to locate the site this week. A word of explanation is here: in older times, we used to see lots and lots of weird search terms every week, but due to the increasing use of privacy controls, we are privy to less data every week. For example, 7,056 of the 7,537 search terms that brought us hits this week are hidden from our prying eyes. That leaves us with few queries to consider, most of them coming from developing countries where masking Google porn searches isn’t at the top of the list of social priorities. We’ll continue to report what we see (when it’s publishable—you wouldn’t believe some of the truly sick perversions some of these people are looking for), but most weeks you should expect this column to be full of mostly weird, often misspelled kinky searches. That explains why “putting milk on boobs of curly hair women old movie scene” makes this list the week. The search for “gay@366” may or may not be part of this trend; we actually have no idea what was in the searchers mind. And “alaskan bed in why him movie” appears to buck the trend discussed above.  Fortunately, our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week,  “www.free man sleep with goat porn movies.com,” confirms our thesis. (A note to entrepreneurs out there: if you want to register the domain “www.freemansleepwithgoatpornmovies.com,” it’s currently available, and you’ll have at least one customer guaranteed).

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Reflections of Evil (next week!); Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; Black Devil Doll; Vermilion Souls (depending on Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

80 more titles to Certify Weird!

Next week, Alfred Eaker keeps his summer blockbuster commitment with a report on Wonder Woman (man, you guys took it easy on him—you could have voted to send him to The Mummy!) Then we’ll look at a couple of items in the reader-suggested queue, as Pete Trbovich handles ‘s pantsless-hippie time-travel oddity Idaho Transfer, and G. Smalley watches teens have sex and kill convenience store clerks in ‘s predictably grim The Dim Doom Generation. G. comes back later in the week for a second look at 1924’s Futurist experiment L’Inhumaine.

Speaking of the inhuman, it’s time once again for our survey of the weirdest search terms that brought traffic to the site this week. First, what’s up with the movies they’re choosing to dub into Hindi these days? We saw searches for both “star steak beyong hd movie hindi dubbing” and “horror sexy nude duck movie hindi dubbed” (the idea that Hindi speakers find nude ducks sexy is indeed horrifying). The person searching for “film classec dungeon girly saxexxx usa,” on the other hand, didn’t require Hindi translation (although an English translator might have helped). For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week we’ll go the random-string-of-nouns route: “movie dad was monkey boy rock star girl princess mom beard.” If there is a movie where a princess’ dad is a money boy rock star and her mom has a beard, we want to find it.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Idaho Transfer (next week!); The Doom Generation (next week!); Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; Black Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

First off, just in case you’re one of those visitors who never checks anything beyond the top post, you should know that we announced the long-delayed release of the 366 Weird Movies 2016 Yearbook today. Check it out, won’t you?

Next week we put the past behind us and focus on the present as Alfred Eaker delivers the first of his contracted Summer Blockbuster series with a look at Alien: Covenant (which he concludes “contains some of Scott’s most assured filmmaking, along with his roughest”). Immediately after that one drops, we’ll forget about the present and focus on the past as Giles Edwards considers 1999’s bleak incest drama The War Zone, and G. Smalley looks at the early K-horror Suddenly in the Dark (a offering that did at least debut on home video in North America for the first time this year) and ‘s startling 1999 J-horror Audition. 2016 may be technically over, but we’ll always soldier on through all eras of weirdness in search of the strangest that cinema has to offer.

This week’s suite of featured searches in our Weirdest Search Term of the Week series all have little stories to tell. Of course, their all told by perverts. We’ll start with “1990’s old comedy movie where a black man is given fat women to sleep with instead of the small beautiful ones”: a clear case of racial discrimination if we’ve ever seen one. Next up is “johnny has been a bad boy so he ended up in prison, a prison were the warden is a woman, and movies.com,”; a sort of mixed blessing for Johnny, we assume, and for movies.com. But our favorite bizarre vignette of the week was undoubtedly “seeing a old sex horse art museum she stopped in nude movie.” Read it as “seeing an old sex-horse art museum, she stopped in, nude” to get the full weird impact.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: The War Zone (next week!); Audition (next week!); Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Those of you who’ve been waiting for the 2016 edition of the 366 Weird Movies Yearbook will be happy to know that we’re in the final stags of proofing. Look for an announcement as soon as the end of this upcoming week. As far as this week’s new online content goes: Alfred Eaker will give us part 2 of his 1978 exploitation movie survey (highlighted by ‘s “vampire” movie Martin) and Alex Kittle brings you your first look at the psychological drama/thriller Buster’s Mal Heart, while G. Smalley checks in with a Japanese double feature of the 1985 “noodle Western” Tampopo and a second look at the berserk prison-break anime Dead Leaves (2004).

Now it’s time for our survey of weird search terms that brought visitors to the site, a feature we like to call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” First up we have to mention “what is the name of an old movie where a man wasnt able to make a woman pregnant and he was told to eat balls which would make him make his wife pregnant,” a search term weird indeed, but one that we will disqualify from consideration as weirdest of the week simply because we believe it probably refers to a real movie. Speaking of real movies, we have to give it to the guy looking for “a fat man try to sex with a sexy girl in a zombie movie”: sometimes simple cinematic pleasures are the best. Slightly stranger than these is the search for an “all english hot adult father in low movie list.” (Gotta like the idea of specifying “low” movies; don’t want the search to accidentally come up with waste-of-time highbrow hot adult father movies). There’s not that much strangeness out there in Googleland this week, so we’re going to go a different direction and select “friends boring strangers” as our Weirdest Search Term of the Week. While we can’t think of any logical reason to search for that particular phrase, perhaps the weirdest thing about it is it seems to have nothing to do with sex.

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Tampopo (next week!); Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil Doll; Vermilion Souls Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week Alfred Eaker starts on part 1 of his survey of exploitation films (he’s up to 1978, the year of Boys from Brazil and The Fury). In other entries in an eclectic week, Terri McSorley gives us the lowdown on the new edition of Multiple Maniacs, while Shane Wilson provides a capsule on Season 11 of . And G. Smalley brings us a second look at ‘s “superhero burlesque,” Batman Returns.

(Speaking of G., he’ll also be working quietly in the background putting the finishing touches on the print version of the 2016 Yearbook—the Kindle version is already out, don’t you know?)

We’re noticing that weird search terms now showing up in our server logs—in fact, almost all of our search terms—are porn/fetish related. A sign of the times, we suppose, although why 2017 should be so much more perverted than 2016, we can’t say. What we can say is that “japanese sex 🎥 in hindi,” was among the weirder search terms we saw (though only because the searcher managed to include a camera icon in their query, which is as rare as it is pointless). Besides that, we also caught “teen milking himself” (himself?), “mom affair boos porn moves.com” (boo!), and “cave man turist kidnnap sex videos.” (See what we mean about the pr0n?) We’ll cap off this sexy week with a pair of vagina-themed items: “mad vagina 3gp” and our official winner of the unofficial Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest, “black guy safes vagina hair movie.” Doesn’t anyone go on Google anymore when they’re not stoned and horny?

Here’s how our ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil Doll; Vermilion Souls Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, after Alfred Eaker finishes up his survey of 1977’s exploitation movie scene with a look at ‘s  breakthrough body horror Rabid (and many others), Giles Edwards will fulfill all your Phantasm desires with a look at both the series’ putative finale—Phantasm: Ravager—and the recently-released  box set “The Phantasm Collection: Special Edition.” You can also catch Shane Wilson update his old review for The Tingler. While all this is going on, G. Smalley will not be simply sunbathing and drinking imperial stout: he’ll be hard at work on putting the final touches on the long-overdue 366 Weird Movies 2016 Yearbook—so hopefully, we’ll soon have some news to report on that project, as well.

It’s another slim week for weird search terms used to locate the site. Thank goodness for semi-literate perverts, otherwise we would have nothing to feature in our contest for Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Probably the least salacious search we saw this week was the one for “horror. sex. aliens. port. movies.” (Nice use of periods). Going with obvious misspellings always seems like cheating on the list, but nonetheless we couldn’t pass up either “english aunty duck on boy servant” or “hat butful milf full movie.” For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll pick “sex orgy in valentains day of vaginas full length movie s.com.” Is “Valentine’s Day of Vaginas” an actual holiday somewhere?

Here’s how our ridiculously-long and ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Doom Generation; Black Devil Doll; Vermilion Souls Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, we’ll start off with Alfred Eaker (now on Mondays!) and his continuing survey of the 1970s exploitation landscape with a first look at 1977: the year that brought us Star Wars, yes, but also the aquatic zombie shocker Shock Waves and the self-explanatory Satan’s Cheerleaders. Speaking of shlock, er, shock, Pete Trbovich digs into the reader-suggested queue and drags out a little “Penthouse”-backed epic called Caligula. And G. Smalley will knock a couple more out of the queue with reviews of ‘s 1980 psychological romance Bad Timing and 1955’s silent horror experiment Dementia [Daughter of Horror]. And no, we haven’t forgotten about the 2016 Yearbook—editing continues in our spare time…

It was an awful week for weird search terms, making our survey of the most bizarre queries that brought people to the site—that beloved feature we call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week”—a bit of a sad exercise. Where are the web weirdos? We know you’re out there. Things were so bad we were forced to consider “‘her lower half’ horror movie” as one of the weirder search terms we saw. Maybe that was the same searcher who was looking for another one of our contestants, “3gp vagina warts.” We’ll throw up our hands and pick the simple “teen vomit” as our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week. Things have to get weirder next week, they just have to…

Here’s how our ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Caligula (next week!); Bad Timing (AKA Bad Timing: A Sensual Obsession) (next week!); Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia] (next week!); Beauty and the Beast [Panna a Netvor] (1978); 1 Day; The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, Shane Wilson gives you his take on the new live-action Ghost in the Shell extravaganza—not a List contender, for sure, but a flick that will be of interest to a lot of you. Getting weirder, Giles Edwards looks back at ‘ 1967 Coffin Joe sequel This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse (with its memorable trip to Technicolor hell), while G. Smalley knocks one out of the reader-suggested queue with a look at Fernando Arrabal’s surreal and bromantic 1973 jewel-thief-meets-mystical-dwarf surrealist oddity I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse. And, returning to the mainstream for a moment, we’ll have our poll for you to send Alfred (and Aja) Eaker on their yearly pilgrimage to the multiplex for our annual exercise in sadism, “Alfred Eaker vs. the s.” Any spare time G. gets, he’ll be working on finalizing that long overdue 2016 print yearbook…

Now is the time when we survey the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site this week, a feature we sensibly call “Weirdest Search Terms of the Week.” Strange cinematic diets made a mini-theme this week, as we noted both “commercial in movie shows other white meat snake movie” and “movie were girl gets cut up puppy and eats it.” We have to give an incomplete—but a weird incomplete—to the person who told Google “we ied about in the wa.” For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, let’s go with “all cebelit seks.” We like to imagine that this is a misspelling for “all celibate sex,” because that’s how our weird searchers minds work (we think; frankly, we can’t figure them out at all half the time).

Here’s how our ridiculously-long-and -ever-growing reader-suggested review queue stands: I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse (next week!); Grendel Grendel Grendel; Daughter of Horror [AKA Dementia]; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE