Category Archives: Pipelines (Archived)

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 33 movies left to Certify Weird

Next week Alfred Eaker takes us to the end of ‘s career (and perhaps of our coverage of him) with a review of the Swede’s 1982 swan song, Fanny and Alexander. Then it’s into the reader-suggested review queue as Shane Wilson debates whether we should let the modern vampire classic Let the Right One In in, while G. Smalley looks into the eye-opening mindbender Open Your Eyes. We’ll end our weekly slate of reviews with a second look at ‘s semi-silent 1999 essay in Expressionism, Tuvalu.

Privacy settings make it harder and harder for us to find truly weird search terms each week, but until they dry up completely,  we’ll continue to list the weirdest searches that brought people to the site each week. This week we begin with one that goes in the “we’d actually like to see that” file: “child is found dying and turned into elf in foreign movie”.  Next up is the search for “366weirdmovies hillary clinton” (we aren’t aware of any movies Hillary’s made, weird or otherwise, but if she’s taken up filmmaking in her retirement, we’d be willing to take a look at them). We guess we’ll pick “80s-90s movie eat goo an change” for our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week (is it about people eating goo and change—the weirder option—or about people who eat goo that makes them change?)

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Let the Right One In (next week!); Open Your Eyes (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 35 more movies left to Certify Weird…

Next week, Alfred Eaker begins his summer penance with his first blockbuster review, the the  vehicle Life of the Party. As painful as that experience sounds, it might not be as bad as Pete Trbovich‘s assignment: the disastrous 1999 adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions (don’t shed a tear for him, he volunteered for it). Then G. Smalley will bring you your first look at ‘s upcoming experimental drama Madeline’s Madeline, and then bring you long-awaited coverage of the under-the-radar Japanese cult comedy Survive Style 5+.

It was another weak week in weird search terms used to locate 366 Weird Movies, as Google privacy settings continue to hide over 95% of queries from our prying eyes. As always, we’ll let you know what we did see. Let’s see… “movie where a deformed boy on skateboard is attacked by a dog.” Is that odd? How about the simple question “what is the necrophiliac movie called”? That would probably qualify as a weird on another site, but here it’s probably an appropriate question.  The closest thing to an actual weird search we found was “a cartoon that people lights up when they have sex.” Let’s make it weirder next week, searchers, shall we?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Breakfast of Champions (next week!); Survive Style 5+ (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 36 more movies to Certify Weird!

And, there’s only one day left to vote in our annual send Alfred to a Summer Blockbuster poll. If it ended today, Alfred would be complaining about being sent to cover Slender Man, the vehicle Life of the Party, and Jaws/Godzilla mashup The Meg—but there’s plenty of time for that to change.

Speaking of Alfred, he’ll be dealing with his blockbuster anxiety by seeking the comfort of another movie: this time up, it’s Autumn Sonata. Then it’s time to clear out some of that reader-suggested list, as G. Smalley watches the S&M-themed pink movie Blind Beast; Pete Trbovich suffers through the Swedish horror parody Evil Ed; and Giles Edwards revisits Dark City.

Once again, it’s time to review the weirdest search terms that brought users to the site this week. We think “movie where fat guy was tied up and fed paint chips” is probably a real film, although can’t say we recognize it. A bit weirder is the extremely specific “list the 1950,s sci fi band w films santa monica library carries” (read literally, this seems to be a request for the name of a sci-fi band from the 1950s who made multiple movies that are in the Santa Monica library’s collection. Sorry, no idea.) Our weirdest search term of the week, however, was undoubtedly “lailqphlztkuozaup3ezpvhlzt51mth” (for security reasons we actually changed one digit in that string, which didn’t make a difference to the overall nonsense). Not only does that random string not turn up anything on our site—making it technically impossible for someone to visit us from a search link—Google turns up no hits for it at all. A hacker searching for passwords? Maybe. But how did they end up here?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Blind Beast (next week!); Evil Ed (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 37 movies left to Certify Weird!

Sumer is a-cumen in, and so it’s once again time to punish Alfred Eaker by sending him to three Hollywood summer blockbusters. We’ll have a poll up tomorrow. Next week will also bring you your first look at Australia’s would-be gay cult film, Fags in the Fast Lane. Then, Shane Wilson goes into the reader-suggested queue for the torture-porn twist Hard Candy, while G. Smalley finally gets around to an official review of the oft-requested  black comedy After Hours. Loudly sing, cuckoo!

It’s time once again for our weekly survey of weird search terms that unaccountably brought users to the site this week. First off, here’s a search we see variations of a lot: “mainstream bestiality scenes.” Guys, give it up; there is nothing mainstream about bestiality, and (Coming Soon notwithstanding) there never will be. Next up is the search for a “fantasy movie where people are transported to a magical land and the bad guys throw their prisoners at a wall of sticky do.” Yuck (if “do” is what we think it is.) For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we select “a movie that thry put a drunk man inbthe car spin it on ice jump in a scream,” a query which itself might have been typed by a drunk man in a car spinning on the ice.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Hard Candy (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 39 more movies to Certify Weird!

Next week, Alfred Eaker continues to fill in our missing coverage with Cries and Whispers (1972); Giles Edwards journeys deep into the reader-suggested queue to bring us Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974); and G. Smalley meditates on the recent On Body and Soul before adopting the direct-to-video Arise! as his short-duration personal savior.

Long time readers of this page know that our weekly survey of the Weirdest Search Terms that led people to the site used to be a vibrant review of web weirdness. Privacy filters have put a damper on all that fun. For illustration, our dashboard currently shows 1,650 visits from search engines this week; of these, 1,591 are listed as “unknown search terms.” While this makes it hard to show you the true strangeness of our core audience, we’ll continue featuring the strangest searches from the visible tip of the iceberg. First up is a question that, while weird, has probably occurred to all of us at one point or another: “why not contiouss sexualshows video”? Next is one we can’t quite figure out, unless it’s a request for some kind of bizarre erotic fanfiction: “kunjane have sex with mr boonmee.” For our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, we’ll go with “peeping 40 animals porn movie.com”; love the request for exactly 40 animals, and of course the ubiquitous superfluous “.com”. With those oddities visible, just imagine what monstrous searches must be lurking in the 96% of queries invisible to us?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 40 movies left to Certify Weird!

Next week, iconclast Alfred Eaker breaks ranks to rant about TV’s new incarnation of “Supergirl.” Next up, we handle a couple of new releases, as Giles Edwards mulls ‘s Paradox and G. Smalley considers his complicated feelings for ‘s Double Lover. Then it’s boldly into the reader-suggested queue with Shane Wilson as he faces the sheeplike horror of the Godmonster of Indian Flats.

If you’ve been reading this site for a while, you know that in this space every week we run down the Weirdest Search Terms that brought people to the site. In the beginning, it was a great feature: we discovered fantastically strange queries, people looking for things like “vulva flamy move,” “naked barbarela vs. king kong,” or “ood moviesttttttat ae weird.” Then came the cursed privacy filters, blocking out 90% of the searches from our prying eyes. Now, we suspect these filters are creeping up to 99% coverage. We usually like to feature three weird search terms in this column, but this week we could not find much of anything worth bringing to your notice (excluding one which was weirdly composed but too ambiguously close to a pedophilia request to consider). OK, we’ll throw one out there for you: “silenthill gore scene porn penis.” That’s it; that’s as weird as it gets. Is this the end of this long-running feature? We’ll try again next week but we fear that, in their quest to make it safe to look up lesbian pygmy porn without your wife finding out, Google may have thrown the baby out with the bathwater, leaving us nothing to laugh at. And what good is a world with perfect privacy but no laughter?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: The Godmonster of Indian Flats (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 68 movies left to Certify Weird! (That number is right, we didn’t miscount: see the explanation below).

Alfred Eaker kicks us off next week with a review of Flicker Alley’s new Blu-ray release of the short that birthed the fantastique, “A Trip to the Moon.” Then,  Bryan Pike updates you on the new existential  indie release It Takes from Within, Pete Trbovich knocks one out of the review queue with a shout-out to Britain’s The Shout (1978), and G. Smalley goes classic and retro with an examination of ‘s surrealistic debut, Blood of a Poet (1930).

No fooling here: the quotes below are actual search terms weirdos used to find 366 Weird Movies this past week. First, the search for a “movie where man says etcettera” goes into our “can you narrow that down for me?” file. We would be remiss if we did not note the search for “lesbian girls and doll pul movies.com” (it was making sense until the “doll pul” arrived). Then we have a pair of perhaps related searches: a jazz cinema fan’s search for “sax films of 2012,” which might possibly be better found on the site “sax bandits.com”. Simple misspellings can sometimes lead to ambiguity: is the guy looking for “twin leaks 366 weird movies” actually looking for the television series, or the pee fetish porn parody? A similar searching error led to our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week, “link floyd thé wool”. The misspellings are bad enough, but going out of your way to add an accent aigu to the “thé” that makes the search acutely weird.

On to the bit of business hinted at above: many of you have expressed dismay that the List of the 366 Best Weird Movies ever made is nearing its end, and are afraid that your worthy favorites will not fit into the few remaining slots. If you fall into that category, we have good news: we’re removing some of the dead wood to make way for better choices. Obviously, when we started this List ten years ago, we were very different people than now. As you may have noticed with Alfred’s series on spirituality themed movies, we are (a little!) more mature than the crazy live-for-today 40somethings who started this List. We recognize that we made mistakes in the early days (and even in the later days), and canonized a few movies of questionable intent that didn’t deserve to be honored. What better day than Easter Day, 2018 to announce a culling of the List and the rebirth of a new one? We’re going to free up twenty-seven movie slots by canceling several of our rasher and more questionable choices. These entries have already disappeared from the sidebar list; we’ll detail them below, with an explanation for each film’s removal.

REMOVED FROM THE LIST:

3-Iron (2004) – With the sexual assault allegations against director , we can no longer in good conscience allow him to be honored on our List.

Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 42 more titles left to Certify Weird…

Next week, Alfred Eaker is scheduled to finish up his mini-series on ‘s “Silence of God” trilogy with the final entry in the triptych, 1963’s The Silence. Then Terri McSorley gives you the lowdown on Scream Factory’s 2017 set—a big improvement in quality for fans of 70s Eurohorror in general and the Spanish wolfman in particular. Next, it’s a art criticism double feature, as Shane Wilson tackles Dan Zukovic’s angry, punkish 2004 black art-world comedy Darc Arc, while G. Smalley enters the painted world of for an examination of his mysterious Hypothesis of the Stolen Painting.

Privacy filters are becoming so prevalent that we can now only see less than 5% of the search terms used to access the site. This gives us so few candidates to consider for our Weirdest Search Term of the Week contest that we may have to consider retiring the feature. A victory for the consumer, perhaps, but a loss for weirdness. We promise to soldier on as long as we can, showing you the weirdest searches of the under 5% we can see, such as this week’s “teen age romance &sax.com.” “blue planet loses to banzai” reads a bit weirder (although there is a logical explanation for this one). Fortunately for us, the person searching for “milf lesbian seducing small girls aliens devils shemales xxx rated” chose not to hide his or her search from our prying eyes. And why should they? Nothing suspicious or sick about that search, is there?

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Darc Arc (next week!); Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability); Spermula; Killer Condom; The Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Only 43 more movies to Certify Weird…

Next week’s review slate: Alfred Eaker braves the second entry of ‘s “Silence of God” trilogy with the chilly Winter Light (1963). Meanwhile, Shane Wilson investigates the absurd kidnapping farce Avida (2006), G. Smalley fills you in on W.C. Fields’ historical wartime oddity Never Give a Sucker an Even Break (1941), and Bryan Pike reviews…. a coloring book?

Once again, it’s time for our weekly survey of the weirdest search terms that brought visitors to the site. We’ll begin with the search for an “old movie stars a boy looks like rat who attends college”—maybe the unproduced sequel Ratboy: The College Years? Our next runner-up is the oddly phrased “killed her brother let her eat movie.” (Two obvious questions: did she eat her brother, and if so, who let her?) Our official Weirdest Search Term of the Week is the very specific “whores shooting up meth and getting freaky in macon mo.” Trivia: Wikipedia lists the population of Macon, Mo. as only 5,500 people, so that’s one freaky slice of small town America.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Avida (2006) (next week!); Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability);  Spermula; Killer Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE

Next week, Alfred Eaker branches off from his “spirituality” mini-series with a mini-mini-series as he begins a discussion of ‘s “Silence of God” trilogy with a look at the first entry, Through a Glass Darkly. Then,

Last week was not that weird a week in weird search terms, which makes for a weak week in our search for the Weirdest Search Term of the Week. We’re down to “weird film where angels kiss etc” for our honorable mentions (and but for the superfluous “etc,” that wouldn’t even have caught our notice). “vampie hunler caphuled” is only worth a mention due to the outstandingly drunken spelling. Fortunately, we have one legit weird search term in “sex scene lays on a sack rejected” to salvage the week.

Here’s how the ridiculously-long reader-suggested review queue stands: Catch-22 (next week!); Darc Arc; Genius Party; The Idiots; The Shout; “Premium” (depending on availability);  Spermula; Killer Condom; The Godmonster of Indian Flats; I Am Here Now; Sir Henry at Rawlinson End; Moebius (1996); The Adventures of Picasso; Charly: Dias de Continue reading WHAT’S IN THE PIPELINE